Drury Lane: Chapter 7 -Shenanagins-

>Day 650 in Equestria

>Today is the day.

>Your big day.

>Your big, special day.

>Your birthday.

>And you're fucking asleep at noon.

>Living the dream.

>You rouse yourself from your pleasant slumber to find a pink pony cuddled up with you.

>You squeeze her tightly and nuzzle under her chin, waking her up as she softly giggles.

>"Morning, sleepyhead!"

"It's noon."

>"Afternoon, sleepyhead!"

>Pinkie playfully bounces off of you and goes to the window, thrusting it open and taking in the warm sun.

>"Excited for your birthday party, Anon?"

"Excited? Me? Why would I be excited? It's not like I have the best party pony in Equestria setting up my party or anything. If I did, then I suppose I'd be slightly excited for it.

>"Well luckily for you, I just so happen to know a certain party pony who's more than happy to set up your birthday party."

"Oh? Who is this mysterious 'pony of partying'? Is it... Applejack?"

>"Heeheehee, no silly!"

"What about Fluttershy? I heard she's just the MOST sociable pony in town."

>"Nnnnope! Guess again."

"It's Zecora isn't it? I bet it's Zecora."

>Pinkie just laughs and bounces back onto your bed.

>"Noooo! I'M the party pony that will be making sure your birthday is the best one you've ever had! It's going to be so much fun, I have it all planned out! Pin the tail on the donkey, dancing, tons of cake and sweets, all of our friends, a TON of cider provided by dear Ms. Applejack, and even a MAGIC SHOW!"

>You raise an eyebrow at all the wonderful things Pinkie has set up for you.

>You wrap her up in a vice grip of a hug and roll around on the bed with her, tickling her as she cackles in delight and laughter.

"YOU, my fair Pinkie Pie, are just the best-est special somep0ny a guy like me could wish to have!"

>You ruffle her mane and peck her nose as you spring out of bed and get ready for the day.

>The steam from the hot shower relaxes your muscles and wakes you up, letting you think clearly for a moment.

>Pinkie had gone to a lot of trouble to set all of this up.

>You smile at the thought of her zipping around town, making sure everything goes according to plan.

>Cider from Sweet Apple Acres, cakes from the bakery the two of you worked at, and a magic show to boot.

>You let out a satisfied sigh and washed your hair.

>The fresh scent of your mint shampoo filled the room, and you felt even more at pe-

>Magic Show.

>MAGIC SHOW

>You don't think Pinkie got... No.

>Nooooooooo Fuckin' Way.

>...

>Bursting from the bathroom, still dripping wet and naked, you eye Pinkie looking out the window.

"Pinkie."

>"Yup?"

"You said there was going to be a magic show?"

>"Yup!"

"Who's the magician?"

>Pinkie gives you her poker face. The same poker face she used when you were on the train.

>The train to Appleloosa.

>Fucking.

>Appleloosa.

"Pinkie."

>She whistles a jaunty tune.

"PINKIE."

>"Anon, you know you're naked right? And wet. And dripping water on the floor?"

>She giggles at your state.

"THE MAGICIAN, PINKIE."

>"Well I heard that you made up with her, so I convinced Trixie to-"

>The gasps and screams from bystander ponies as they saw your naked form leap from Sugarcube Corner's loft window could be heard throughout the entire town.

>You ran.

>Your legs moved like lightning, your balls slapping at your thighs like thunder.

>You made a quick stop at Rarity's, scarred Sweetie Bell for life at your sight, and jumped out of one of her windows fully dressed in your usual outfit, your trusty bandanna tied to your neck.

>You had it on you the entire time.

>No questions, please.

>Pinkie was quick to follow.

>"What are you doing? I thought you and Trixie were on good terms!"

>The burning fury in your eyes could destroy the Everfree.

"What has she done to you? Are you under a spell? Tell me!"

>Pinkie just looks confused as all hell.

>You're eye to eye with her now.

"Trixie, REVEAL YOURSELF."

>"Anon it's me."

"You will not fool me, blue temptress."

>"I'm pink."

"LIES."

>"Anon, just calm down for a second. Can you do that? Just a second?"

>You oblige.

>"I tried to convince Twilight to do a magic show for your party, but she's in Canterlot doing student things with the princess. Rarity is busy making dresses for an upcoming fashion thing-a-majig in Manehatten, so Trixie seemed like the best choice."

"THE UNICORN THAT I USED AS A FLAIL IN APPLELOOSA SEEMED LIKE THE BEST CHOICE?"

>"Oh come on Anon, that's in the past! I'm super sure that she's forgiven you for all the times you terrorized her!"

"Get Luna to do the show! She's magic right?"

>"Luna hasn't left the hospital ever since the incident."

"She's still broken up about that "moon guy"? FUCK HIM."

>"Anon."

>Pinkie jumps up and kisses you on the nose, and you blush yet again.

>She beams up at you.

>"Trust me!"

>You simmer your rage, and give an exasperated sigh.

"Fine. Trixie can do the show."

>Pinkie squeals with joy and bounces around you happily.

>You're in her grill again.

"But if she acts up, don't be surprised if I launch her into orbit with my fucking foot."

>Pinkie just smiles back at you and nods.

>"I wouldn't expect anything less!"

>Smiling back to her, you stood up and headed out.

"I'll see you at the party then I guess. For now, I need to head to the train station to pick someone up."

>"Who?"

"You'll see when I come to the party tonight. Trust me, you'll be excited."

>Pinkie waves a goodbye to you before bouncing away to prepare for the party.

>Making your way to the station, you anxiously awaited your special guest.

>Making sure your letters got to her safely had been a hassle. You had actually employed spike to make sure the letters you were sending made it to her and her alone.

>Manehatten was, after all, a big city. One could get lost.

>Arriving, you made your way to the back of a train that had just pulled into town.

>Stepping into the caboose, you couched down to a knee and waited.

"It's alright, you can come out now."

>Out from behind a box crept a small, light brown filly with bright green eyes.

>She broke out into a smile when she realized it was you who had found her out.

>The two of you hop out of the train and sneak your way away from the crowd.

"So, you have any trouble getting here? They didn't find out you snuck on board?"

>The filly smiles and shakes her head. Looks like she made it to Ponyville without much of a hitch.

"Good to hear. C'mon, you're probably hungry."

>Her stomach grumbles at the mention of food and she perks up instantly.

>You scoop her up and throw her onto your shoulders as she snuggles into your hair.

>Half an hour later, and you're in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner with the homeless filly.

>You're cooking a warm tomato soup for her, and some fresh bread from the oven. You figure she's due for a hot meal.

>She zips around the kitchen, poking into the cupboards and cabinets with excited curiosity.

>"Alright, looks like the soup is done. Just c'mon back to that table and we can ge-"

>She's already sitting down at the table, but with a massive cake on her plate.

"How did you?... never mind. You can't have cake yet."

>The look the filly gives you latches onto your very soul and breaks it.

"No. Don't give me those eyes. You cut that shit out."

>Her big green eyes grow and you begin to see some tears start to well up in them.

"Fuck, you know that's not fair. You eat your lunch first, then MAYBE you get cake. There's going to be more of it at the party tonight anyway."

>Her tears disappear and she gives a 'harumph' as you slide the cake away and place the soup and bread slices in front of her.

>Then, with Sanic speed, you deliver a small slice of cake onto her plate as well.

>The smile on her face could melt icebergs.

>You sit down with her and nibble on some bread as she begins tearing into her meal.

>She eats quickly at first, but eventually slows down to savor the food. She must realize that the chances of getting a meal like this on the streets of Manehatten are slim.

>She looks to you, some soup dripping from her lip and beams.

>And then Pinkie Pie shows up.

>"Hey Anon! I just got done talking to Vinyl about music for your party and OH MY GOSH IT'S THE CUTE HOMELESS FILLY FROM THE LAST TIME!"

>She's over by the two of you in a blast of pink and is all up in the filly's business, grabbing her in a hug and swinging her around playfully.

>"THIS is the pony you were meeting at the train station?! Why didn't you tell me earlier, I love this filly!"

"Wanted it to be a surprise I suppose, but now that you've caught us I guess the jig is up."

>Pinkie rustles the filly's hair as she gives out a silent giggle.

>"Hey there! Glad to be back in Ponyville? Oooh! Did Anon bring you here for his PARTY? Heehaahaa, perfect! You're going to just love it! We've got games and dancing and magic set up so you and some other little filly's can have fun!"

>Pinkie's face shifts to one of grave seriousness.

>"But don't drink the cider. The cider is not for little fillies like you."

>She's nose to nose with the filly now.

>"Don't even THINK about it."

>The filly smiles and nods.

>Pinkie looks back to you.

>"She doesn't really talk much, does she?"

"Nope. I think she may be mute, but I dunno really. I don't really push it. If she doesn't want to talk, so be it."

>The little filly yawns and rubs an eye with her hoof.

>"Oh I now! C'mon, I'm gonna get you all cleaned up for the party!"

>Pinkie hops the filly onto her back and the two of them bound from the kitchen to the loft upstairs.

>As you cleaned up the kitchen, you swore you could hear Pinkie playing "Pirates in Space Doing Space Pirate Things."

>Sounds like Pinkie was playing as the Dread Pirate Roberts.

>Never change, Pinkie.

>Never change.

-------

>The time was 5:00PM.

>The sun was about to make it's way down to the sea so the moon could take up it's station.

>Trixie stood in her caravan, staring up at the sky at the faint sight of stars began to bleed into view.

>The sound of ponies happily partying right outside tumbled through the air.

>"Alright, Trixie, you can do this. It's just a birthday party. You've performed for bigger crowds."

>Trixie tried to reassure herself, walking over to a mirror to fix her hair.

>"Just relax, girl. Not a big deal. NOT a big deal. You've got this. A few tricks, some flash, the crowd cheers, end of show. Razzle Dazzle them, nothing goes wrong, no one spits in your mouth."

"Hey."

>Trixie nearly jumps out of her skin when she hears a voice pipe up from behind her.

>"Don't startle me like tha-... Oh, Anon. What uh, what can I do for you?"

>Anon just stared back at her with a stern look on his face.

"So what possessed you to agree with Pinkie Pie when she asked you to perform for the party?"

>"Well I, you know how it is I.. uh.."

"Relax."

>His expression softened a bit and Trixie took a deep breath to calm herself.

>"Money is tight for a performer like me. I take bits where I can get them, after all, and Pinkie Promised a hefty fee. So I accepted."

"Uh-huh."

>"Is there anything you need, Anon, or are you here to use me as a weapon to fend of hicks in a desert town?"

"I'm not here to fuck with you if that's what you're asking. Just wishing you luck is all."

>"Because I don't need you flinging me around like a flail or som-... what?"

"Good luck. Er, break a leg I guess? Not literally, that would fuck up the party. Don't do that."

>There's a pause as Trixie and Anon just look at each other, Trixie in a daze and Anon just being Anon.

":3"

>With that he walks away to join his friends.

>Trixie is stunned.

>"Th-... thank you?"

-------

"Well that went better than I had thought it would."

>Pinkie gulps down some cider and wipes her face.

>"No spitting?"

"Nope."

>"No horn sucking?"

"Nope."

>No kitty-face."

"Tiny bit of kitty face."

>Pinkie just rolls her eyes and smirks.

>"As long as you didn't harm her in some over the top way, good. Hey Applejack! This cider is AMAZING!"

>AJ: "Thanks sugercube, made it from some of our freshest bushels! Hope y'all enjoy it as much as the rest of us."

>Rainbow Dash zips next to you and playfully punches you in the arm.

>RD: "Sup dude."

"Not your dude, bro."

>RD: "Enjoying the party so far?"

"You know it. Digging the music so far."

>You throw a thumbs up towards Vinyl Scratch, who in turn raises a hoof to you as she bobs her head to the beat.

>The bass that emits from her speakers could rustle mountains.

"Hey, where's Fluttershy?"

>Applejack takes a swig of her mug as she points towards the edge of the party.

>Fluttershy, drunk out of her little pink and yellow skull, stares at her reflection in the punch bowl.

"Is.. is she staring at the-"

>AJ: "Yup."

"Nice."

>You look over to the game area where The CMC are playing pin the tail on the donkey with the homeless filly.

>They seem to be getting along amazingly well.

>The crowd quiets down and the music shifts to one of mystery and intrigue as Trixie's caravan opens up.

>A flash of sparks and blue bursts from the stage, and Trixie is left standing from within it.

>Trixie: "Greeting partygoers, it is I, the Great and Powerful TRIXIE, here to astound and entertain with feats of might and magic! For my first trick, may I please have a volunteer step to the stage?"

>No one budges.

>Trixie gets a slightly worried look on her face, but carries on, her showmanship showing.

>Trixie: "Just one volunteer is all I need, and you will all be amazed by my feats of illusion!"

>Still no movement from the crowd.

>You're about to volunteer yourself, when someone finally hops up on stage.

>The little filly.

>Trixie: "Thank you, little one. If you would please, step up onto this table."

>She does, and Trixie covers her in a large purple sheet.

>Trixie: "Now watch, as I make this innocent filly... DISAPPEAR!"

>With a flash Trixie tears the sheet away to reveal that the filly was indeed gone.

>The crowd "oohs and ahs."

>Trixie: "Now where has she gone, I wonder?"

>The crowd murmurs in fascination, as Trixie rips off her hat to reveal the filly, who is clapping with glee.

>The crowd breaks out in applause, and Trixie beams with pride.

>You'd never thought to actually ENJOY her show, but damn. She's got stage presence.

>The tricks go on, and the crowd is eating Trixie up.

>Even Pinkie is in the crowd, bouncing up and down shouting "IT BOGGLES THE MIND!."

>You break into a grin and down some cider.

>Perfect.

>Day.

>Then someone throws a rock onto the stage, hitting Trixie in the head.

>Everyone's speechless and shocked.

>"Oh I'm sorry, are we interrupting a little get together here? My apologies."

>That voice.

>It brings back memories of dirt and heat.

>Memories of Appleloosa.

>Tex.

"For fucks sake, Tex, couldn't you and your stooges have just stayed in goddamn Appleloo-"

>You freeze when you see who's standing next to him.

>Mahonie.

>Mahonie and his goons.

"But how... you were.. I SAW you three-"

>Mahonie: "Die? That's a laugh. No one dies in this show."

"Show?"

>Mahonie: "Nothing."

>Tex: "Me and my boys here met up with Mahonie and his crew a few weeks ago. Turns out, we all have something in common!"

>Mahonie: "We all hate YOU."

>Tex: "So we decided that a little get together was in order."

>Tex's men then proceed to FUCK UP YOUR PARTY.

>This... this will simply NOT do.

>You nudge Rainbow Dash and get the others' attention.

"Shall we?"

>They all smile and turn to face the enemy.

>Mahonie: "You're a bit outmatched, aren't you buddy?

"I'm pretty sure we can still kick your asses. Rainbow, the disk please?"

>Rainbow dash produces a record and flings it over to Vinyl.

>It is at that time that "Shit" got "Real."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6xRSafBV8o

 

>Before Mahonie can react to the amazing beats that Vinyl drops, you bury a fist into his snout and send him flying into a tree.

>Pinkie is right behind, jumping onto one of Tex's goons as she beats him mercilessly with a frying pan.

>Tex charges at you, but is blindsided when Applejack shoots in front of you to buck him in the jaw.

>You jump into the air and land on Trixie's stage, the blue unicorn dumbfounded by the events.

"Trixie?"

>"Whu- What's happening? What's going on?"

"We're fighting a bunch of cunts. I just need to tell you something before I do what I do."

>You pick her up and hold her like a glorious "pony-gatling-gun" and grasp her horn.

"This means nothing between us."

>You then rub the ever living SHIT out of her horn, a gasp and moan escaping her lips as you begin firing bright blue lasers from her horn.

>Goons are flying everywhere as you blast them with your "Trixie Cannon."

>The crowd and party goers are scrambling around in fear and confusion, but you and your friends are consumed by the thrill of battle.

>One by one, the dickbags are launched out and away from Ponyville, each twinkling into the distance as they scream in terror.

>All that remains is a dumbfounded Buck Texas.

>You rush Tex, Trixie still in your hands and place her horn under his chin.

"Get the fuck out of my party."

>With a crack and a bang, you send Tex flying into the air, only to collide with Rainbow Dash as she sends him flailing into the stratosphere.

>As the smoke dies down, you and your compatriots stand triumphantly in the smoke and dust, looking up to the starry sky.

>Trixie must have cum at least 27 times.

"Oh by the way, I'm adopting the filly."

>Pinkie: "Neat!"

>All is good.