Drury Lane: Chapter 4 -The Fuzz-

                                        Chapter 4

 

>Day 599 in Equestria

>Steam rose from the bed you lay in.

>Confetti layered the walls and floor, streamers criss-crossing across the room.

>Your hair was frizzled and messed up, and all you could do was stare blankly at the ceiling, your vision meeting the middle distance.

>Pinkie lay next to you in a very similar state, panting.

>Visions of the last two hours flash before your eyes.

>Sweat.

>Heat.

>Passion.

>And FLANK.

>You turn over to Pinkie Pie, a sultry grin on her face.

"...WOW, I... that was just... what WAS that?"

>Pinkie caresses your chest with her hoof and kisses your cheek.

>"That was love, baby. That was sweet, sweet love."

>You've given up feeling like a horrible person.

>You've just accepted it.

>And... you know what?

>Being horrible felt good.

-------

>Skip ahead a day or two.

>You're standing in the kitchen, trying your hardest to finish this beast of a cupcake while Pinkie zips around gathering ingredients.

>It's roughly the size of fat baby at this point.

>You and Pinkie have adopted a Matrix style approach to baking, using tactics and teamwork to get the job done.

>And dammit it's awesome.

"Cherries!"

>"Rodger!"

>Cherries sail at you at incredible speed, and you snatch them out of the air and slap them onto the cupcake.

>"Sprinkles incoming!"

"On it!"

>You toss a bowl into the air, sprinkles landing in them, and spread them on the pastry in one grand sweep."

"Chocolate frosting!"

>"There IS no chocolate frosting!"

"What do you mean 'there is no FUCKING chocolate frosting'? We need chocolate frosting!"

>"There IS NONE."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

>"QUICK USE THE HAZELNUT SPREAD AS A SUBSTITUTE!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND WE NEED TO-"

>"I SAID USE THE MOTHER FUCKING HAZELNUT YOU BITCH!"

>You dive into the air over Pinkie into the cupboard and kick a jar of Pony Brand Nutella (now available at your local grocery store) to her.

>Wielding a massive butter knife, Pinkie leaps into the air and scoops out all of the Hazelnut spread in one swipe, and in a flash of Pink and brown the cupcake has been frosted.

>"DO IT!"

>You hold in your hand M&M's and sweeping your hands out in an arc, you lay them upon the massive cake, brilliant rainbow colors spiraling upwards on it's frosty top.

>The two of you dance around the kitchen, a ballet of confections and sweets as you masterfully decorate the cupcake with your special somep0ny, your skills meshing harmoniously with hers.

>Pinkie and you enter a sort of bakery Zen when you cook like this, and it relaxes you immensely.

>Bar-tending in Appleloosa has NOTHING on this, not by a long shot.

>Fuck Appleloosa.

>Time passes effortlessly, and soon you stand next to Pinkie, triumphantly puffing your chests out at the sight of your masterpiece.

>It's...

>MAGNIFICENT.

>You look down at Pinkie Pie, chuckle to yourself at the look of her.

>She's spattered in flour and sprinkles, an M&M stuck to her nose with frosting.

>She looks at you with those big blue eyes, and cocks her head in confusion.

>You point a finger to your nose.

>"There's nothing on your nose, Anon."

>You bend down and kiss her nose, scooping the candy into your mouth and eating it.

>Pinkie giggles furiously and bounces up into your arms for a hug.

"Good work, Corporal Pinkie. Looks like we finished this thing in record time."

>"That's because you just so happen to work with the most super-duper baker in all of Ponyville!"

"Oh? I didn't think you for the boasting type, Pinkie my dear."

>Pinkie gasps in mock surprise, reaching under the table and pulls out a hat.

>Trixie's hat.

>She shoves it onto her head and flips her apron around into a mock cape and strikes a pose.

>"Boastful? Me? Why, the Great and Powerful PINKIE would never think to boast! Teeheehahaha!"

>You both burst into hearty laughter.

"Well, let's get this thing boxed up and hoof it to the train station. Matilda should be heading out of town soon, so we'll meet her down there. What do you think?"

>"Sounds like a plan! Let's go!"

-------

>You two skip down the road, carrying the cupcake box on your shoulder with Pinkie Pie bouncing next to you.

>Snow was beginning to melt, and the sidewalks were relatively clear to walk on.

>Winter wrap up would be coming right around the corner pretty soon, and you planned on helping Pinkie break up ice in the lake and assist AppleJack with clearing snow.

>You were getting used to day to day life in Ponyville, your previous excursions in Appleloosa and Manehatten seeming like a dream.

>A dream filled with cop chases and drunks.

>Reaching the station, you spot Matilda Mild waiting patiently for her delivery.

>MM: "Oh THERE you are! And early too. Thank you, Pinkie Pie for your speedy work. Oh, and you too Anonymous."

>You give her a dismissive wave, smiling.

>Seriously, you're in a really good mood.

>No outbursts, no interruption.

>You haven't called anyp0ny a cunt at ALL.

>And Trixie hasn't reared her ugly fucking face.

>Fucking Trixie.

>MM: "Anon, could you please take the cupcake to the third car down the line. The train will be leaving soon, and I need to discuss some things with Pinkie."

"No problem. Be back in a minute."

>You lug the confection over to the rail-car Matilda indicated, and step inside, placing the box on a nearby table.

>So far, this day has been pretty damn successful.

>Can't imagine anything could fuck it up, rea-

>You feel a soft tug on your pants leg.

>Turning around and looking down, you see something you never considered encountering again.

>Sitting at your legs was a light brown filly, with bright green eyes.

"You? What are you doing here, kiddo? Finally get tired of that Manehatten air?"

>The filly shifts nervously from side to side, looking around her frantically.

"Hey what's wrong? Are you here for your bandanna? Cus if you are, I can just take it off and gi-"

>She nips your pants again and pulls you out of the car.

"Woah, what's the matter? Are you alright?"

>She points a hoof down the tracks.

"What? Are you trying to show me some-"

>Oh fuck.

>Oh FUCK.

>FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

>Trotting out of the train were three large ponies, decked in Manehatten blues, a gold badge on each of their vests.

>The cops have come to Ponyville.

>And fucking Mahonie was at the head of the pack.

>You scoop up the filly and race to Pinkie Pie and Matilda.

>MM: "Once I get back, I was hoping you would make a-"

"SURE THING WE'LL GET ON THAT YOU SHOULD GET ON THE TRAIN AND LEAVE NOW."

>Matilda and Pinkie stare at you in surprise.

>PP: "Anon, why are you holding a filly in your ar-"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

>You shove the filly into Pinkie's hooves and begin shoving Matilda at lightspeed toward the train.

"WELL IT WAS NICE MAKING YOUR CUPCAKE GET THE FUCK OUT GET THE FUCK OUT."

>Slamming the train doors shut, you zip back to Pinkie.

"We need to go home. NOW."

>"What's going on? Did you steal a filly? Anon we talked about this, if you want kids we can always-"

"Didn't steal her, she came here to warn me."

>"Warn you about what?"

>You grab Pinkie's face and turn her towards the police ponies.

>"Who are they?"

"Remember when I told you about the time I broke out of jail and led the cops on a daring chase only to be saved by a tiny homeless filly?"

>"Yeah."

>You grab the filly and present it to Pinkie.

"Pinkie, Homeless Filly. Homeless filly, Pinkie."

>Pinkie's eyes light up at the realization and she hugs the filly with a squeak.

>Then she gets serious and hands her back to you.

>"Wait if this is the filly, then are those police ponies-"

>You vigorously nod to her, almost taking off your own head.

"Yes. And the one with a copstache is Mahonie."

>"Mahonie?"

"Mahonie."

>"The Mahonie you slammed into your jail cell?"

"That Mahonie."

>"The Mahonie that will beat the ever living shit out of you for what you did and then drag you back to Manehatten in cuffs?"

"That Mahonie."

>"Run?"

"Yes."

>You're about to make a break for it, when you fucking hear it.

>"OI!"

>Oh god.

>"That's him! Hey, Mahonie, there he is!"

>You turn around to see the stoney gaze of MOTHER FUCKING MOHONIE, his goons standing beside him.

>Mahonie: "Alright boys, remember we're off duty."

>They remove their badges.

>Mahonie: "No badge, NO LAW."

>OH SHIT.

>They're not going to beat the shit out of you and THEN arrest you.

>They were just going to BEAT THE SHIT OUT YOU.

"CHEESE IT."

>The chase was on.

>You and Pinkie had a leg up on the cops, you two knew the town best.

>But these guys were fueled by goddamn RAGE.

>Racing through the town square, you leap and bound over stalls in the marketplace, Pinkie bouncing at high speed next to you.

>Mohonie: "When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna make you wish you were DEAD you sack of shit."

>You whip your head around and do the only thing you can think of.

>You give him a kitty face.

":3"

>Mahonie: "FUCKING GET HIM."

>Worth it.

>Suddenly you see Trixie.

>Trix: "Stop! I demand you return my-"

>You jump kick her in the face and use her as a skateboard for a second or two.

>Things are looking up!

>The cops get closer.

>Okay, maybe not...

>The chase leads through a field, down to the lake.

>Great where the hell am I going to go no-

>BALLS

>You trip up an a tree root hidden by snow, and roll downhill with the homeless filly in your arms, and skid along the ice of the lake.

>You get to your knees, and see the cops running at you.

>Onto the ice.

>The incredibly thin ice.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!"

>They don't listen, and within seconds the ice breaks, plunging you and the cops into the chilled abyss.

>Shit.

>SHIT.

>NOT GOOD.

>You struggle underwater, holding the filly in one hand while pounding the ice with the other.

>Despite being broken, it's still remarkably strong.

>You cant budge it.

>The police ponies are doing the same, struggling and thrashing for air.

>But you're not concerned about them.

>You need to get this filly out of here, FAST.

>You suddenly see a flash of pink in the corner of your eye.

>Pinkie's hoof appears through a whole in the ice.

>RUNNING OUT OF AIR.

>You swim over to her hoof as best as you can, cradling the brown filly in your arms.

>DROWNING

>DEFINITELY FUCKING DROWNING OH GOD

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yw5jkAHgME

 

>Grasping Pinkie's hoof, you're pulled with enough force to pierce the heavens out of the ice and meet the orgasmic touch of fresh air.

>You crumple to the snowy ground, you and the filly gasping and sucking on air.

>"OmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigosh ARE YOU OKAY?!"

>You give her a smile and a thumbs up, patting the filly on the back to help her cough up more water.

>"Should... should we go back in and help them?..."

>All three of you look out the the frozen lake, now still and unmoving.

>You look at the filly.

>She shakes her head.

"Nah. Let's just go home."

>The three of you walk off, leaving the lake and Mahonie behind.

>Hours later, you and Pinkie stand at the train station waving at the young brown filly as she boards it to leave for Manehatten.

>You offered for her to stay with you, but she simply declined.

>Maybe she like the air there, you don't know, but you're not going to stop her.

>You gave her a present before she left though, her eyes widening in glee when you presented a cake you had baked personally.

>She waved back at you from the train as it pulled out of the station and rolled away into the distance.

"So, Pinkie. What're we going to do about Mahonie and his goons? I mean, they're going to be found sooner or later."

>Pinkie give a simple smile.

>"Yup! But that wont be for another month. We'll take care of it when Winter Wrap Up rolls around. TeeHee!"

>Damn this pony is devious.

>You like devious.

>You scoop her up in your arms and hug her, planting a kiss on her cheek.

>She giggles and returns your kiss with one of your own, lingering longer this time.

"C'mon, lets go home. We still have work to do, after all."

>Pinkie beams and gives you a salute.

>"Aye-Aye!"

>You return to the bakery with your special somep0ny, plans for succulent confections running through your mind.

 

~End of Chapter 4~