Drury Lane: Chapter 12 -Bust'a Move-

>Day 938 in Equestria

>You sat at the lake just outside Ponyville, a fishing pole in your hand and a toothpick in your mouth.

>You've been sitting here in the shade of a nearby tree for about an two hours now, and so far you've caught absolutely nothing in the way of fishy prey.

>Not that you were really there to fish, of course.

>You cracked a grin as you happily tipped your new cowboy hat forward, casting some much needed shade into your eyes.

>You were sure she would have found you by now, but as always you seemed to give her a little too much credit.

>A light breeze passed over you and you could catch the light scent of the valley and the flowers that dotted along its hills.

>The soft sound of hooves reaches your ears.

>Sounds like it's coming from... behind you?

>You sniff the air once more.

>Grass, flowers, the dirt by the lake and... apples.

>Guess she found you.

>"Ahem."

>You answer her without even looking, still enjoying the shade from your new hat.

"What took you?"

>"Ah figured you'd be hidin' somewhere more... elaborate, ah suppose. Never thought to look by the lake."

>You feel a hoof paw the top of your head and strip the cowboy hat from you, the sun's rays making their way into your vision again.

>You looked up and gave a smarmy grin at the orange pony standing over you, as she puts the hat atop her blonde mane.

"Something you need, Applejack?"

>She cocks an eyebrow in exasperation and lets out a sigh.

>"Anon, you said you'd help me out at tha farm today."

"IF..."

>"IF ah could find ya. And ah did. Just now."

>You check your wrist for the time.

>The watch you drew in sharpie said it was half past a freckle, but you knew it was probably around three in the afternoon.

"It took you a bit longer than last time, didn't it? And here I thought taking your hat would give you the push to find me in record time. Looks like I was mistaken."

>Applejack rolls her eyes.

>You'd done this little game with her a couple of times before.

>Whenever Applejack needed some help around the farm, and needed an extra pair of hands, literally, you would always agree to help.

>On one condition.

>You would take something of hers and run off, giggling like a little girl.

>If she could find you, then you'd help her out.

>Today, you had taken her hat, which was actually pretty comfy to wear.

>It also smelled a bit like her hair, and that was an added bonus.

>After all, you liked apples. Being a baker, you made apple pies quite regularly.

>You hop to your feet and stretch your back.

"Alright Ms. Jack, you've got yourself a worker. What do you need?"

>"Anon."

>She's staring at you intensely, like she's waiting for something.

"What?"

>"Oh don't 'what' me. Hand it over."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

>She approaches you and cranes her head towards you pants.

"Wait what the hell are you do-"

>she bites down on something sticking out of your pocket, and pulls out a big red bow.

>Dammit.

>"Anon, why'd you take Applebloom's bow?"

"Payback."

>She tilts her head.

"Long story, pubes are involved."

>"Wait, pu-"

"Let's just go back to the farm and get to work, shall we?"

>"But I-... ah whatever, fine."

 

-------

 

>"Alraght, Anon, how're ya feelin'?"

"Ow."

>"Yeah, you're gonna be fahn."

"Ow."

>You spent three hours down at Sweet Apple Acres helping Applejack with some applebucking.

>Now, I know what you're thinking.

>How can a HUMAN possibly help a pony when it comes to applebucking?

>Three words.

>Cast

>Iron

>Arm

>For three hours, you basically went through the orchard bitch slapping trees, the apples that hung from them falling into the baskets below.

>Your left arm may have been made of iron, but it still felt things like a normal hand.

>And right now, it felt like hell.

>Applejack fans herself with her hat and gives you a smile.

>"Thanks again Anon, ah appreciate yer help with all this. Big Mac's been laid out with a cold that's somethin' fierce. I'm surprised we were able to get all those trees bucked in time."

>You wipe the sweat from your forehead with your bandanna and give her a confused look.

"In time for what?"

>"Oh, Pinkie didn't tell ya? We're headin' out to Manehatten t'night for some sort of party in the city."

"Am I invited?"

>Suddenly Pinkie bursts out from one of the apple baskets.

>PP: "Of course you're invited, silly! Why wouldn't I invite YOU to a party?!"

"Because I'm a wanted man in Manehatten?"

>PP: "Oh. Right. Oh well, I'm sure we can figure something out on the way there!"

>AJ: "Wait, wanted man?"

"So what's the party for? And why are you throwing one in Manehatten of all places?"

>PP: "I'm not the host this time, actually! There's a big dance club opening up downtown, and I thought that a little vacation with the whole gang would put a great big smile on everyone's faces!"

"Huh, well that sounds good I suppose. How're we getting there? Train?"

>AJ: "What does he mean, 'wanted man'?"

>PP: "No, we've used trains too much in the story, so I pulled some strings with Twilight and she's agreed to TELEPORT us there!"

"Teleportation?"

>PP: "Teleportation!"

"With all the bipitty-bopitty-boop, the light and the POP?"

>PP: "Yup!"

>AJ: "Is nopony gonna tell me why he's a wanted ma-"

"OH MY GOD I PUNCHED OUT A COP, OKAY?"

>AJ: "You did what?!"

"COP. MY FIST. HIS FACE. IT HAPPENED."

>AJ: "Whyd'ja punch a cop in tha face?!"

"I DIDN'T LIKE HIS FACE, OKAY? FUCK."

>PP: "We should get home and get ready for the trip."

"Fine. Scoot over."

>You step into the basket with Pinkie, mime a motion of flushing a toilet, and hold your nose like you're about to jump into a pool.

>Pinkie and you spin and sink into the basket and disappear below the apples.

>Applejack's mind is too busy getting fucked to comprehend it.

 

-------

 

>You stand outside Twilight's library with Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and the yellow one that yearned for your balls with an aching passion.

>Creepy.

>Twilight and Spike came out of the library and joined your little circle.

>TS: "Alright then, everyp0ny ready for the jump?"

>You all nod, Fluttershy not breaking her unending, unceasing stare directed at your goods.

>Son-of-a-bitch.

>Twilight's horn glows with a bright purple haze, and suddenly you're being whisked away through a dark void.

>And in an instant, music.

>SO MUCH MUSIC.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfH5BnFrsmM

 

>The dance has BEGUN.

>All eight of you mix in with the huge crowd inside the club dancing to the beat of the music that pulsates through the building.

>This ain't half bad so far, actually.

>You're the only human in the joint, but you don't mind.

>There's a ton of ponies enjoying their wild night, you might as well join in.

>You leap over the crowd to where Pinkie's dancing and begin rocking out with her.

>The two of you FEEL like GODS.

>The two of you LOOK like you're on FIRE.

>Real fire.

>You're dancing that badly; ponies are starting to think you may be having a stroke.

 

TIME PASSES

 

>So fucking drunk oh god.

>You're still dancing around the room, the whole gang stumbling along with you to more music curtsey of Vinyl Scratch.

>Each and everyone of you is holding a mug of hard cider.

>You have had much, MUCH more than just one.

>Spike is shimmying next to Rarity who will NOT stop saying the word "DARLING." over and over again.

>Twilight is just... spinning around with some colt she met.

>He's magenta.

>You know that's normal for Equestria, but seriously.

>Dude.

>Magenta Colt.

>fuckinGAY

>You and Pinkie are having the time of your lives, both of you wasted out of your stupid little skulls.

>You swing your head around haphazardly and shout so she can hear you.

"DID I EVVVVER TELL YOU I LURVE YOU?!"

>You can make out a small gasp, and feel a passionate kiss meet your lips.

>Awwwwwww yyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaah.

>You open your eyes slightly.

>Awwwwwww NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

>Flutter-

>Flut-

>Fluttersh-

>Fl-

>FLUTTERSHY FUCK NO NO NO NO NO

>You grasp her face and with all your might you pry her off of you.

>You gasp for fucking air.

>FS: "Oh Anon, I LOVES YOU TOOOOOOOO!"

"NOT YOU."

>FS: "WHA?"

"NOT YOU."

>"Yes, 'LOVE YOU.'"

"NO."

>TS: "WHAT?"

>You breathe deep and shout, your eyes closed again in fury.

"I SAID I DO NOT LOVE YOU, YOU CREEPY FUCKING PONY."

>The music has stopped.

>The whole room is silent.

>You're seething.

>"You... you don't love me?..."

"No! Get that through your THICK fucking skull! I do NOT love you!"

>You open your eyes.

>Oh.

>Oh shit.

>You're staring back at big, blue, tear filled eyes.

>You glance to the right of them.

>Fluttershy is standing next to Pinkie, still hazy eyed and hiccupping.

>You meant to shout at Fluttershy.

>Instead, you shouted at the last thing you ever wanted to make cry.

>Pinkie lets out a small croak, looks down dejectedly, then runs off and out of the dance club.

>Nice job, you fucking nonce.

"Pinkie! Pinkie wait!"

>You dash out of the club after her.

>You need to explain all of this.

>It was just a misunderstanding.

>Once you sat her down and explained things to her, she'd be right as rain.

>After all, you DID love Pinkie Pie.

>You just DESPISED Fluttershy at the moment.

>You jog along the streets, looking for your special somep0ny, and catch a glance of Pink cut into an alleyway.

>You chase after it.

"Pinkie? Pinkie listen, I can explain everythi-"

>Your vision goes black as you feel something hard slam into the back of your skull.

>Your sight is hazy and blurred, from both the cider and the impact.

>"Grab the mare, she's coming with us. I'll handle this one."

>That voice...

>Where have you heard that voice before?

>A you hear the clop of hooves and the voice is right next to you.

"You should never have come back to my city, you fuckin' jerkoff.

>Fuck.

>Mahonie.