Drury Lane: Chapter 10 -Birds of a Feather-

>Day 902 in Equestria (Lol no fucks given about continuity of days)

>You and Pinkie sat in a tree, spying on a particularly ripe bush of blueberries.

>You were given a tall order of blueberry pies, and in your haste the two of you had completely forgotten that you were out of them.

>The panic the two of you caused was fucking horrific.

>The next shipment of berries wouldn't be for another week or so, and you and Pinkie baked under a strict code of "GET IT FUCKING DONE."

>At all costs.

>So the two of you ventured forth into the wild unknown, searching for berries like brave rough-necks battling the unforgiving elements of the harsh, cruel world.

>You end up in a tree outside Fluttershy's place instead.

>You take the binocular's from your face and look at Pinkie Pie a little cautiously.

"Okay Pinkie, quick and quiet, just like we planned."

>She's covered in camouflage at this point.

>"Roger."

"Okay, I'll take point. Three..."

>You creep towards the edge of the tree

>"Two..."

>Your legs, as well as Pinkie's, curl up, ready to propel you through the air.

"ONE!"

>The two of you soar through the air and over shrubs, like hawks during a hunt.

>And knock of Fluttershy's door.

>The door creeks open slightly, and you spy the hint of yellow and pink from within the house.

>FS: "Uhm... hello?"

>PP: "Hi Fluttershy! Could you do us a super duper favor?"

>FS: "Oh, um... sure I suppose. What do you need?.."

"We were hoping you would let Pinkie and I borrow some blueberries from that bush of yours over there. We're baking a pie and we're out."

>FS: "Oh, hello there Anon! I didn't see you there. Of course, you can do whatever you want to my bush, Anon!"

>You and Pinkie give your best poker faces and Fluttershy remains oblivious to the horrendous innuendo she has made.

>Fluttershy's bush.

>Oh LORD.

>You give a quick glance to Pinkie, waggling your eyebrows too and fro, trying to communicate a message of "Oh sweet jesus just keep rolling with this, please."

>Pinkie, being awesome, instantly gets it.

>PP: "Flutterhsy, you're sure you don't mind us rummaging through your nice little bush?"

>FS: "Oh no, I don't mind at all. It makes me ever so happy to let you take what you need from my little bush!"

>You and Pinkie are starting to snicker like a pair of kindergarteners who just heard their teacher say "Uranus."

"There isn't anything... dangerous in your bush is there? Is it *snicker* well groomed?"

>FS: "Oh yes, I always make sure to trim my bush to make it presentable!"

>Oh good god almighty your sides.

>Pinkie is containing a hurricane of laughter at this point.

>Fluttershy remains oblivious and sweetly innocent to it all, a smile on her face.

>FS: "In fact, I'll help you! I know where the best pickings are when it comes to my bush."

>Fucking DYING HERE MANG

>Fluttershy trots back into her cottage and returns with a small basket in her mouth, and flies over to her blueberry bush and begins delicately picking berries, inspecting each one diligently before doing so.

>Aww, she's so adorable when she has no idea you were making jokes about her pony-vag.

>Fuckin' cute, yo.

>She returns with the basket filled to the brim with delicious blueberries.

"Hey, thanks Fluttershy. We appreciate it."

>PP: "Yup! Thanks Fluttershy! I'll take the basket for you, Anon."

"Thanks."

>Pinkie takes the basket in her mouth and begins bouncing back to town, you in tow.

>FS: "Oh, Anon?"

>You stop and turn back to Fluttershy, who's hiding her face behind her mane ever so slightly.

>FS: "I just wanted you to know that, um, you can come by at any time to, uh, you know, rummage in my bush... if you wanted, that is."

>Oh for fucks sake you can't take this anymore.

>You give her a big smile and chuckle a little.

"Haha, thanks. If we ever need more berries, I'll make sure to visit."

>FS: "Oh, uhm, i wasn't *mumble mumble*"

"What was that?"

>She's beet red now, and won't look you in the eye.

>FS: "Wasn't *mumble mumble* blueberry bush..."

"Can't hear you Fluttershy."

>FS: "Imeantmyvagina."

>And with that Fluttershy zips back to her cottage and slams the door behind her with lightning speed.

"Did... she say something about... naaaaah.."

>You spin on your heels and catch back up to Pinkie, bouncing happily along with her back to your bakery to make scrumptious pie.

>Ever since you made it back to Equestria with the thanks of Trixie and Luna, you've been taking every chance to be a great guy to Pinkie and the community.

>She spent five years without you, and in that time her hopes of your return never waned, not once in all that time.

>Pinkie Pie is without a doubt the greatest mare you've ever met in your entire life.

>Well, a close second maybe.

>You catch a flash of teal as a small flashback hits your mind.

>Teal eyes, the night sky, and an old familiar so-

>DEMON-BIRD-CAT-THING OUT OF NOWHERE WHAT? WHAT?!

>A griffon lands in front of the two of you, flaring her wings out in all their cunty glory.

>"You know I never thought I'd run into YOU again, Pinkie Pie. Still ruining people's days with your parties?"

"PINKIE WHUT DA FUCK IS THAT THING?"

>PP: "That's Gilda."

"Why does she have a lion ass?"

>G: "Lion WHAT?"

>PP: "She's a griffon."

"What's a griffon?"

>G: "You've never heard of a griffon? What are you, an idiot?"

"No, I'm a dude."

>G: "Yeah I got tha-"

>PP: "A human dude, dude."

"You know it!"

>You hoofbump with Pinkie.

>G: "Shit, you're just as annoying as bucking Pinkie Pie."

"So I take it these griffon things are total asshats?"

>G: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

>PP: "Now Anon, don't be rude! Gilda is the only asshat griffon I've met! You can't judge a race by just one individual! To do so is to be hateful and ignorant."

"You're right Pinkie. What a well though out and insightful viewpoint you have passed on to me! I'm a better person by knowing that now."

>PP: "Indeed! Teehee!"

>G: "You two are bucked in the head."

"SHUT UP PECKER-FACE, YOU'RE SPOILING THE LIFE LESSON."

>G: "Did you just call me a PECKER-FACE?!"

"Gee, I don't know. Is there a pecker on your face?"

>You flick her beak.

"Yup! That's a pecker alright!"

>Gilda's rage rises and her feathers appear rustled.

"Look we don't want any trouble, alright? All in good fun. Now if you don't mind, we have to go bake a pie. Pinkie?"

>PP: "Right behind you chief! Lemme just grab these berries."

>Pinkie leans over to pick up the basket of blueberries, but is cut off when Gilda slams a talon down on it, berry juice bursting onto Pinkie's now mortified face.

>PP: "Why does everyone squash the things I CHERISH?!"

>G: "Nobody calls MY beak a pecker! NOBODY."

>With that, Gilda takes off into the air and begins to fly off.

>Pinkie turns to you, a single tear in her eye.

"Pinkie, grab my bandanna."

>She does.

>You squat to the ground, and harnessing the pure, fiery rage that lies within your jaded soul, you blast upwards into the air right at Gilda, your arms outstretched and ready to FUCK HER UP.

"BEEP BEEP MOTHER FUCKER."

>G: "Wha-"

>You slam into Gilda and fly even higher through the air, tussling with her as you spiral upward.

>G: "GET OFF ME YOU IDIOT!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you perhaps STOP GARGLING ALL THOSE COCKS and repeat yourself?!"

>You grab one of her claws and begin punching her face with it.

"Stop hitting yourself!"

>G: "YOU'RE the one hitting ME!"

"Oh my god, that's the JOKE."

>Suddenly Gilda bucks and knocks you off her back, but quickly grab her tail to hang on.

>PP: "Ooh ooh! My turn!"

>Pinkie scrambles over you and onto Gilda, and whips out a a cherry pie from nowhere in particular.

>G: "What the hell are you-"

>Gilda may as well be inhaling the cherries now, as Pinkie slams it into her beak.

>Pinkie Motherfucking Pie, everybody.

>You release Gilda's tail and catch Pinkie Pie as she leaps off of her and into your arms.

>Gilda spirals off into a cliff side and explodes in a massive fireball.

>Lol no that would be fucking stupid.

>She just crashes into the lake, although there WAS a smoke trail coming from her as she plummeted.

>You hover down safely to the ground, because you can do that.

>You've always been able to do that.

>Shut the fuck up and quit bitching, he's cool like that I guess.

>Pinkie hops down from your arms and looks up at you with a tinge of disappointment.

>"We're out of blueberries again. What now?"

"Well, Fluttershy said that I could rummage through her bush any time she wanted, so I guess I'll head back to her place and ask if we can have more."

>"Oh that's a great idea! I'll head back to the bakery and work on some other sweets. We'll save the pie for last!"

"Sounds like a plan!"

>You squeeze her in a hug and kiss her on the nose, and she bounces off towards town and you go back to Fluttershy's cottage.

>You eventually make it, a bit winded from the battle, and knock on her door.

>After a moment she opens up the door, her ears perking up and a smile popping onto her face.

>"Oh, hello there Anon. What brings you back to my cottage?"

"Yeah, well, Pinkie and I got into a little tiff earlier, there was an epic battle, and now I'm here hoping to get a hold of your bush."

>Fluttershy's eyes widen and she blushes slightly.

>She pokes her head out of her doorway and darts her gaze from side to side.

>"You and Pinkie Pie got into a fight?"

"Oh yeah, BIG fight. We were in the air, there were pies involved, it was great. Anyway, about the bush?"

>You begin to make your way to the blueberry bush when Fluttershy grabs your jacket and pulls you into her house, closing the door behind you.

>"S-say no more! I think I have just what you need, I think..."

>She blushes further and disappears down a hallway.

"Huh, guess she has more blueberries in the house. Convenient."

>You look around and spot Angel by your foot.

"Oh hey Angel. What's up, doc?"

>Angel motions towards where Fluttershy ran off too.

"What's that boy? Something about Fluttershy?"

>He nods.

"What about Fluttershy?"

>He points to you.

"Me? What about me?"

>He then does a motion with his paws.

"I don't get it."

>He palms his face, then runs off and returns with a carrot.

"What you're hungry now? Why didn't you say so?"

>He plams his face a bit harder, and grabs hold of your hand.

>He makes you make a ring with your fingers.

>And puts the carrot in and out of the hole.

"..."

>He continues to do it.

"..."

>Aaaaaaaaaaand epiphany.

"SHE'S GONNA FUCK ME?!"

>Angel taps his nose. Yup. You got it.

>You dart to the door, but it's locked.

>Good god there weren't THIS many padlocks on the door last time you checked.

>Suddenly you're unlocking the door as fast as you can, but for some reason Fluttershy has installed a chain lock in the form of a FUCKING MAZE.

>WHAT THE SHIT.

>"Oh Anon, I'm ready to give you that bush you wanted..."

>You freeze, a shiver creeping up your spine.

>You turn around, slowly and dramatically, your body creaking like a rusty fence.

>She's in lingerie.

>Lacy black, see-through lingerie.

>Okay.

>Back away slow.

>The door's in the way.

>WELP.

"Uh, Fluttershy? I think there's been a mistake."

>She's making her way over to you in a slow, sultry walk.

>"Oh but Anon, you've had a looong, HARD day. What with your fight with Pinkie and all. I think you deserve some... relaxation.."

>Shitohshitohshitohshit

"Yeah no I think there's been a mix up. All I wanted was-"

>"My bush? Oh I know you want it, and I'm more than willing to give it to you."

>Goddammit that joke isn't funny anymore.

>Especially with Fluttershy trying to jump your bones.

>She's getting closer now.

>THINK. THINK OF SOMETHING.

>...

>FUCK, NOTHING.

>JUST REACT. JUST REACT.

"I WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE BUTT."

>Fluttershy is speechless.

>"Is... is that your feti-"

"LOL NOPE."

>You sprint and burst through a small window and run as fast as you can, like a one legged cat at a hungry dog convention, but not before going up to her blueberry bush and ripping the damn thing from the ground, carrying it off.

>Fluttershy is still ram-rod stiff, shocked at what just happened.

>Explaining this nonsense to Pinkie Pie would be an adventure in of itself.

>And you had the sneaking suspicion that Fluttershy wouldn't stop there when it came to getting you inside her.

>Things just got stupid.