Don't Panic: Chapter II

>Day 3 in Equestria

>The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of you, Anonymous, waking up and suddenly remembering where you were.

>It had only been three days, but each time you woke up you could have sworn that the day before was just a bad, slightly chaotic dream.

>About three days ago, you woke up in your apartment as you normally do. However, you soon discovered that you were currently displaced in some sort of fantasy land filled with mythological creatures. In other words: Not Earth.

>Your first encounter was with a spritely pink pony by the name of Pinkie Pie. She had "forced" her way into your house and proceeded to encourage you to see the town of "Ponyville" with her.

>You promptly declined and fainted in the street.

>Since then, you haven't left your apartment, choosing instead to try to live off the food in your fridge that was going to go bad any day now that there wasn't any electricity to wire your house to.

>Did we forget to mention your power was out? And your water, too? Because there's that.

>And unfortunately for you, everyday so far Pinkie Pie has returned to your apartment, knocking on your door and demanding you go bake a cake with her down at the local bakery.

>You knew she meant no real harm, though. She seemed rather pleasant, if not louder than you would have liked. And bouncy. Yes, bouncy was the correct word to describe her.

 

>Rubbing your eyes and letting out a tired groan, you stare up into your ceiling, hoping that the answers to all your problems were found there and not out in the cartoon world you've been thrust into.

>The loud and rapid knocking at your door proves otherwise, as you mentally guess that Pinkie Pie has returned once more.

>"Good morning sleepyhead," she says from outside your door, the sound of her voice muffled by it, "Have you decided to come on out and let me introduce you to all my friends?"

"No," you begin, calling from across the hall, "I am very content in living out the rest of my life inside this apartment, thank you. It's very comfortable, I assure you."

>As you roll off your bed and shuffle through your "home" you can hear Pinkie Pie give a groan from outside your door, as well as a dull thunk against it. She must have slumped her head against the door in frustration.

>"But Mister Moose, you have to let me give you a grand tour of the town! It's... it's just my THING, okay? I NEED to make you super duper comfy in Ponyville, and I can't rightly do that if you hide in your home like a hermit crab."

"My name is Anonymous, Miss Pinkie Pie."

>"I know that, but that doesn't really change the fact that you are being a stuffy hermit crab!"

"Well I'm sorry, but I'm just too cozy in here, safe from the pastel world you call home."

>"What about food?"

>You stop in your tracks, pausing for a moment to think about this.

 

>True, you had food, but the milk in your fridge was rank and undrinkable. Any meats were going horribly bad as well, and at this rate ALL of your food would inevitably become inedible.

>She indeed had you at an impasse, it would seem. Still, better to be on the cautious side rather than the impulsive one.

"Alright," you begin while standing with your back against the door and your arms crossed, "Say I was to come out there and walk around with you. What are the odds of me being maimed by... I don't know, a talking tiger?"

>The tittering and "giggle snorts" that emanate from behind you tell you that Pinkie is laughing at your question.

>"A talking tiger? Heehee, don't be silly! We don't have any tigers here in Ponyville, Mister Annie Moose! Well, we have Manticores, but those aren't exactly the same as tigers. Less stripes."

"I don't rightly know what a Manticore is, but the fact that there are no tigers out there does set me at some sort of ease. Next question," you say as you clear your throat, "If I come out with you, you won't instantly insist I meet the leader of your land, considering I'm an alien life form in your world, will you?"

>"Oh what are the odds of me doing that?"

"Pinkie, I do not even know you. The odds are, in fact, very high."

>"Well I promise I won't do that, or anything to get you into trouble. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

 

>You think you can here the sound of a hoof squish against an ocular organ from behind your door, but you ignore it for now.

"Final question. If I come out and walk around with you... can we get something to eat?"

>More tittering and laughter this time, but Pinkie quickly answers, "Well of course! It's not a Pinkie Pie welcome without sweet treats! Besides, you never had a chance to try out some of my cupcakes and pies when we first met, what with you fainting in the middle of town."

"Right," you quietly say back as you remember that day.

>When you eventually came back to consciousness, you discovered that someone had placed you back into your house and tucked you into bed.

"Pinkie?" you ask to the door.

>"Yes?" the door replies.

"Did you bring me back here after I fainted?"

>"Mmhmm," the door replies.

>...

"Okay," you relent, "I'm coming out now."

>Normally "coming out now" would entail you opening your door, but Pinkie seems to break the norm and instead bursts it open with much vigor and enthusiasm, despite you being sure you locked it.

>"Terrific!" she begins as she grasps your hand with her hoof and leads you out of your apartment. "First thing's first, we have to get some yummies in our tummies! To Sugar Cube Corner!"

 

"Wait!"

>Pinkie Pie proceeds to freeze in her tracks and turns her head to look back at you. "Yes Annie?" she asks.

"I uhm... I would feel much more comfortable with my towel with me, actually."

>Pinkie cocks her head to one side, raising an eyebrow to you. "But... we're not going to the beach..."

"I know that Pinkie, but... I just feel safer with it, is all. A towel is an amazingly useful tool, you know."

>Bringing a hoof to her mouth in a pondering fashion, Pinkie smiles and giggles, nodding to you.

>"Okee dokee, you can go grab your towel Mister Anonymous."

"Thank you," you say with a sigh of relief as you turn and run back into your apartment.

>One stop into your linen closet and you're back outside with Pinkie, white towel in hand.

"Okay," you say with a deep exhale, "I'm ready."

>"Heehee, you're pretty weird. That's something, coming from me after all. Now then, onward!"

>Pinkie gleefully nips at the end of your towel, pulling and leading you through the town while she bounces happily, and you follow quietly behind her.

>You still get strange and wary looks from passerby, but you let it slide off your back for the most part. Well, you try to. Pinkie Pie had been more than cheery and kind to you, after all, but you still felt very wary about all this.

>Still, the prospect of baked goods put a small amount of your worries at ease, so you willingly follow Pinkie as she continues to bounce through town.

 

>Eventually the two of you arrive to a large gingerbread house, the smell of bread and sugar filling the air in your immediate area. Looks like Pinkie wasn't lying, she really was taking you to get something to eat at the bakery.

>Despite just meeting her a few days ago, you seemed to have an unnatural trust towards her. Maybe it was the mane, maybe the constant smiling, you didn't rightly know.

>"And here we are," Pinkie says with that everlasting smile on her face, "Sugarcube Corner! My home and current place of employment, all wrapped up in one!"

"Well, it certainly is... sweet looking."

>"Isn't it? Ooh ooh, come on in! We should go and make a cake or something. And then we should EAT it! Teehee!"

>You manage to get a smile onto your face for Pinkie, who squeals in delight as she makes her way closer to the bakery. Before you can go inside, however, a streak of blue and other bright colors invade your view, startling you and causing you to fall back onto your rear.

>"And just WHO," the mass of technicolor pipes down at you, "Are you? And why are you following Pinkie Pie into her house?"

>It's now extremely apparent that the thing in front of you is another pony, but this one has... wings, it seems. A pegasus? You thought those were just myths from-... ah yes, cartoon world. You should have seen this sort of thing coming, honestly.

 

"Ah," you stammer out as you try to explain yourself, "I was just following her because she was taking me here, is all. Nothing... nefarious, or anything, honestly."

>The pegasus stares at you warily with her magenta eyes, before Pinkie Pie comes bounding over to the two of you once more.

>"Hiya Rainbow Dash! Oh, are you saying hi to my newest, best-est friend Anonymous? His name sounds like there's a moose in it! Hehaha!"

>"He's your friend?" Rainbow asks, giving Pinkie a curious look.

>Pinkie giggles, "Well of course Dash, everyp0ny in Ponyville is my friend! Anon here is just super new to the town, and I'm giving him a tour! We're about to go in and have some cake! Oooh, do you want to have some?"

>Rainbow Dash looks back to you, suspicion in her gaze, as she nods at Pinkie and flies into the bakery after her. You get back to your feet, dust yourself off, and follow behind them.

>Seems this "Rainbow Dash" wasn't as trusting of you as Pinkie Pie was. This is becomes even MORE apparent to you as Dash flies back out of the bakery, hovering uncomfortably close to your face while giving you a distrusting sneer.

>"Watch yourself... whatever you are. Pinkie may trust you, but she's Pinkie Pie. Me? I'm Rainbow Dash. Which mean my eye is gonna be on you like yellow on a dandelion."

"...aren't some dandelions white, though?"

 

>Her sneer gets rather "sneerier" as she slowly flies back into the bakery, never taking her eyes off you. As you enter Sugarcube Corner, you look over to Pinkie Pie as she bounces up beside you."

>"Everything alright Mister Moosey?" she asks.

"You know," you begin, "it's at times like this, when I'm in a gingerbread house with a pink, talking pony, and about to eat cake with her and a friend of hers that seems to think I'm a monster, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

>"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen."

>Pinkie giggles once more as you walk over to a small table and sit down, Rainbow sitting across from you while eying you continuously.

>"So," Dash begins, "Anon, was it? Where are you from anyway? And what ARE you?"

"Oh well I'm from the apartment in the middle of your town, actually. I've been living in that thing for a few years now and-"

>Dash cuts you off. "I don't need you being a sarcastic smart-flank, alright? Where are you from, and who are you? Also, why are you even here?"

>"Dashie!" Pinkie pipes out from the kitchen, "That's no way to talk to a newcomer! Shame on you, you get a smaller slice of cake than Anon and I now."

>Dash rolls her eyes, but looks to you with a serious expression on her face. Seems she still wanted her answers.

 

>This was going to get complicated, surely. So the only logical thing to do is to answer all her questions as complicatedly as you can. Genius.

"Well you see, I DO live in that apartment over there in the town square. It just seems that your square never really had my apartment in it until very, very recently. See, I come from a place called "Earth." Third planet from the sun, if I'm not mistaken. I had a dreadfully boring life in a dreadfully boring town in which I was employed to a dreadfully boring job. And you know what? I was pretty happy with all that dreadfully boring business. Then one morning I wake up and I'm in this brightly colored, extremely vibrant world filled with talking ponies."

>Pinkie returns with three plates balanced on her snout, setting them on the table in front of you. She takes her seat, you thank her, take a bite of your slice of cake, and continue.

"You see, talking ponies are not the norm from where I am. Far from it. Ponies in my world are items of extreme desire and want amongst the female youth of my species. It's complicated. Anyway, I woke up here and proceeded to panic a fair bit, as anyone in an alarming situation similar to my own would tend to do. Pinkie Pie here has been... kind, enough to bang on my door everyday at random intervals in order to coax me out of my hidey hole."

>"And I did!" Pinkie exclaims through a mouthful of cake.

 

>As planned, Rainbow Dash appears to be utterly confused by your explanation so far. You take another bite of cake, making an audible "Mmmm!" along with Pinkie as you eat it.

>"Pinkie," Dash starts, "Did... did you understand any of that?"

>"Yup!" replies Pinkie. "Anon's not from around here, we've never seen somthing like Anon before, he got super scared and now he's eating cake with you and me! Heehee!"

"She's pretty much hit the nail on the head, yes."

>"Twilight's going to want to know about this," says Dash as she gets herself out of her chair. "Then she's going to ask you even more questions, and then we'll see Princess Celestia and she'll ask you even more questions. THEN we'll know what you're up to!"

>You chew on your cake, glancing over to Pinkie Pie.

"I thought we wouldn't have to go see your leader so soon."

>Pinkie shrugs.

"Dash," you say as you turn your gaze back to Rainbow, "Can you hold off on the whole 'take me to your leader' bit and let me grab my bearings for a bit? I'm still pretty disoriented and the only thing keeping me calm at the moment is this cake. Pinkie what IS this anyway, vanilla?"

>"It's vanilla with a dash of nutmeg!"

"Well it's delicious, thank you."

>"Stop that!" shouts Dash. "Stop being... politely terrified!"

"I can't help it, it's in my nature."

>"Whatever," she says as she makes her way out of the bakery. "I'm telling Twi what's going on, and THEN we're going to see what Celestia thinks about all this!"

 

>And like that, she's gone in a blur of blue and rainbow.

>Well.

>This could have all gone better than it currently is proceeding.

>Pinkie looks to you with a worried look in her eye. "Anon," she starts, "Don't you worry. I'm sure you're a nice... what are you again?"

"Human."

>"Right! A nice human! Point is, I'll back you up for Twi and Celestia."

"Well... thank you, Pinkie. That means a lot I suppose... you know what? It's at times like this I wish there was a guide for this sort of thing."

>"What sort of thing?" she asks as she nibbles on more of her cake.

"A guide for arriving in places you've never been before. For situations that absolutely boggle your mind and terrify you... what do you think a guide like that would say, Pinkie?"

>She titters to herself as she covers her mouth before swallowing her cake.

>"That's easy, Anon! It should just say "Don't Panic."

 

END