A Guy, A Lyre, and a Park Bench -Chapter 16-

"It HAD to be Trixie. It just HAD to be Trixie, didn't it?"

>LYRA: "How could we have not known it was her show?"

"Because we just WALKED in, that's why."

>DASH: "You guys just walked into a magic show without knowing who the performer was?"

>LYRA: "We're extremely hungover."

>BON: "I will destroy her."

>DASH: "I take it they know about you and Trixie."

"Yeah."

>DASH: "What about the others?"

"Not the best time, Dash."

>LYRA: "Others?"

"Nothing. Later."

>DASH: "Well you see, Anon is kind of notorious for-"

"Dash, really. I'll tell them after the show, but right now we need to just stay low and make as little noise as possible."

>LYRA: "Whoa wait you're notorious? For what? What are you notorious for?"

"Later."

>BON: "I will destroy her."

>DASH: "Why don't we just leave? We could always do that."

"What? No way, I payed thirty bits to see this show. I'll get my money's worth, even if my bitchy ex-girlfriend is on the stage."

>LYRA: "What if she sees us?"

>Trixie shouts from the stage.

>TRIX: "The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie requires a volunteer for her first spectacular trick!"

"Okay, just stay low and don't move. Some asshole is bound to volunteer, and then we can rest easy knowing she hasn't spotted-"

>BON: "I VOLUNTEER."

"Fucking FUCK."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njv2BgDOkSo

   "A Guy, a Lyre, and a Parkbench"

 

"Son of a bitch, Bon-Bon. Son of a LITERAL bitch, WHY?!"

>BON: "I will bathe in her humiliation."

DASH: "Whoa."

"Humiliation? You're the one volunteering for a trick! There's no humiliation when you're the one-"

>TRIX: "Well well well... so be it! Come, Bon-Bon, and revel in Trixie's glory."

>Bon-Bon calmly and sternly makes her way to the stage, a look of determination on her face.

"I'm screwed. I'm screwed each way from Sunday."

>LYRA: "Oh come on, it's just a magic trick. What's the worst that could happen?"

>DASH: "No one's creeped out by the "feasting" thing? No? Alright then."

"What's the worst that could- Lyra, really? REALLY?"

>LYRA: "Shush, she's starting the trick."

"Kill me now."

>TRIX: "Now then, there is a slight change of plans! Trixie will need another volunteer!"

"Oh you gotta be-"

>TRIX: "Trixie chooses her booger bear, Anon, to be her volunteer!"

>Lyra and Dash laugh like little idiots.

>DASH: "She still calls you booger bear? Mother FUCKER that's sad!"

>LYRA: "Ooh ooh, when we met her she called him shnookums!"

>DASH: "Anon you were SUCH the bottom bitch!"

"I hate my life."

>Suddenly you're levitated from your seat in the audience and onto the stage next to Bon-Bon.

>TRIX: "Anon, Trixie hopes you are ready for Trixie's newest, most spectacular magic trick!"

"What, is it the disappearing box? You seem to really have a thing for the disappearing bo-"

>TRIX: "THE FLAMING WHEEL OF DEATH."

>Suddenly the curtains behind you swing open to reveal a large wheel, with flames surrounding the edge of it.

"Fucking no."

 

>TRIX: "Snuggle button, if you would be so kind as to-"

"I am not getting on that. There is no way in hell I am getting on that wheel."

>Trixie raises an eyebrow to you, an annoyed look on her face as her horn lights up.

"What're you- No. No telepo-"

>CRACK!

"-rting... son of a BITCH."

>You're strapped to the center of the wheel, your arms and legs spread out and tied down.

>Trixie's horn glows once more, and the wheel begins to spin.

"No no no."

>TRIX: "The trick is simple. The volunteer must match every throw I make at the wheel in the opposite side. Each one of us gets five throws. The first to miss their mark loses, and must retire for the night."

"How is this a trick? This isn't a trick! This is a challenge!"

>BON: "I accept your terms."

"Oooh dammit... wait, throws? What are you throwing?"

>From what you can tell, what with the room spinning and all, Trixie reveals a set of very sharp knives.

>TRIX: "Do you risk the safety of Trixie's shmoopy-poo?"

>BON: "Bring it on, bitch."

"I'm gonna die. Yeah. This is it."

>Trixie ready a knife, floating it calmly before her, and fires it straight at your leg.

>The knife lands with a thunk near your right leg.

>Jesus Christ those things are REAL knives.

>Suddenly a second knife sticks into the spot near your left leg.

>TRIX: "Well, it seems you're a good throw."

>BON: "I'm full of surprises."

>TRIX: "Trixie is eager to see if you can keep up with her speed and accuracy."

>BON: "I'm eager to see if you can refer to yourself outside the third person."

 

>You were getting dizzy.

>Oh so, VERY dizzy.

>Seriously your stomach was churning.

>You didn't throw up, of course, because your stomach was too scared of the KNIVES being flung at you.

>Each throw Trixie makes, Bon-Bon somehow recreates.

>Throwing those things with her hooves, might we add.

>Never ceased to amaze you, that one.

>Trixie gives Bon-Bon a hotblooded glare, raising her last knife well above her head.

>With a flourish of her horn, the knife flies straight at you and thunks into the wheel.

>Barely an inch away from your face.

"FUCKING HELL, TRIXIE, WHAT WAS THAT?!"

>Trixie puffs out her chest, checking her hoof for any blemishes and boasts.

>TRIX: "Well, your move 'Bonnie.' That is, if you're willing to risk hurting him that is. And considering how closely I threw that knife, you might even... well, he certainly wouldn't be able to go to any more movies with you for a long time."

>Bon-Bon glares at Trixie, silent and stoic.

>But when she looks to you, you see a tinge of fear in her eyes battling with her competitive nature.

>Slowly, Bon-Bon picks up her knife...

>...and drop it to the floor.

 

>BON: "No."

>The wheel stops spinning, but the room doesn't from your point of view.

>TRIX: "You admit defeat to the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie?"

>BON: "..."

>TRIX: "What's the matter? Not enough up to snuff when it comes to your skill? Or were just afraid of hurting Trixie's snuggle bunny?"

>Trixie lets out an arrogant chuckle, while Bon-Bon approaches you on the wheel.

>BON: "...he's not your snuggle bunny."

>TRIX: "Haha-... what?"

>She unties the binds on your arms and legs, and you slump to the floor, your head light and your stomach churning.

>BON: "He's not YOUR snuggle bunny. He's MY snuggle bunny."

"I am not a snuggle bunny."

>You make your way to your feet, placing a hand on Bon-Bon's head for support.

>You look to her, your vision finally not seeing double, and smile at her.

"Thanks. For not killing me, I mean."

>She gives a small smile back, and you hear a bit of happiness in her voice.

>BON: "Anytime."

>The two of you stumble off the stage, as the crowd erupts into applause at the "Spectacle" they just witnessed.

>Trixie, glaring for a second, puts her stage face back on and relishes in the crowd's praise.

>You both finally make it back to Dash and Lyra, both of them waiting for you by the doors of the theater.

>LYRA: "You gonna be alright?"

"Just- ho god... just give me a minute."

>DASH: "Dude. That was SICK. You almost took a knife to the face!"

"I know."

>DASH: "I mean... DUDE. You could have DIED."

"I know.

>The four of you walk out of the theater, you stumbling about due to the Wheel of Death's spinning.

 

>LYRA: "So."

"What?"

>Dash smirks at your as Lyra closes in.

>LYRA: "I believe you have something to tell us about you being so... "notorious."

>Oh.

>Fuck.

>Sighing, you relent.

"I... may have dated a... number of somep0nies in Ponyville. And beyond. I sort of got around."

>LYRA: "So... you're a notorious player?"

"No! No, I'm not a player. I just dated a few mares, and each one ended up dumping me over time."

>BON: "They dumped you?"

"Yeah. But even so, they're all pretty clingy."

>DASH: "Ahem."

"Okay well not Dash. She's still cool. Ours was pretty mutual."

>LYRA: "Want to talk about it?"

"It was no big deal. We were just moving at different speeds and we had different ambitions."

>DASH: "He dated my best friend after we broke up."

"Shush."

>BON: "Who was-"

"Done. DONE. We're done here. Now if you guys don;t mind, I'm going to go pass out in an alleyway."

>BON: "I'll spot you, dear."

"Thanks Bonnie. You're a doll."

>DASH: "Got that's sickeningly cute."

>LYRA: "Yeah..."

>The three of you say your goodbyes to Rainbow Dash, and eventually make it back to the hotel.

>The rest of the gang is passed out and sleeping around the room.

>You decide to join them.

>After all, there was a band competition coming up.

 

~END~