A Guy, A Lyre, and a Park Bench -Chapter 11-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcXiVe_9ALc&feature=BFa&list=PL0500781AD862D972

 

>A lot has happened in the the last month and a half.

>Not with the girls, no.

>They're still as passive aggressive about their little love triangle as ever.

>Not that you would call it a triangle, that is.

>You felt that is was more of a love pincer movement, to be honest.

>The only difference you could spot when it came to them was how they've been acting this whole week.

>For a few days, both Lyra and Bon-Bon have been... avoiding you.

>Not outright shunning, but they were getting a habit of spotting you and sort of running to their rooms.

>You just shrugged it off.

>Maybe they were cooling their jets, you didn't know.

>At the moment you were cooking some fried rice at Roseluck's cafe.

>The one waitress you had got fired, as well as the chef.

>Turns out when you never show up to work, they tend to let you go.

>So you were basically the one man show of this restaurant, and you were finally getting used to the everyday rigamarole of the food service industry.

>The best benefit was that this place wasn't all that busy, what with it being such a small cafe and all.

>Once the rice is done you throw some roasted peanuts into the mix, taking it out to the colt that ordered it.

>So far you were having an okay day, and the place was shutting down early for the weekend.

>Once all the customers were gone, you bid Roseluck farewell and head out to town.

>Perhaps you'd go to the library today, see what new books they had in stock.

>Making your way to the the large tree the town called a library, you enter and begin browsing the collection of books.

 

>Moby Duck?

>Nah.

>The Adventures of Daring Doo?

>No you already read that one last month.

>Fifty Shades of Pinkie Pie?

>Haha, no.

>Then a book catches your attention from the corner of your eye.

>Taking the bright yellow book in your hands, you read the title that's emblazoned on the cover in bold, black lettering.

"Iron Will's Guide to Dating Ponies."

>Really?

>I mean... really?

>This is a thing?

>You laugh and put the book back on the shelf, walking over to another section of the library.

>A book on how to date ponies.

>Wow.

>That was just silly.

>You continue to look among the many shelves here, but you mind keeps going back to that yellow book.

>...

>No.

>You don't need it.

>...

>You don't need it.

>...

>You grab the book and check it out, reading it as you walk home.

 

"What in the..."

>This book was filled with what you can only describe as obvious, or HORRIBLE advice.

"One way to a pony's heart is to present your target with a sugarcube. Little known fact: Sugarcube's are an extreme aphrodisiac to ponies when in cube form... really?"

>You flip through more pages of the book, trying to find something that wasn't either blatantly obvious or just downright silly.

>You were having a hard time.

"Ear scratching can be a terrific bonding experience. Remember, get her by the ear, and she'll let you have her rear."

>Just.

>Just no.

>This was all sorts of stupid.

>But... on the other hand...

>You couldn't help but feel curious about all these tips.

>What if some of them were accurate? Sugarcubes turning on mares? Ear scratching being a from of heavy petting?

>You skim through more of the book.

"A little known fact is that the cutie mark can act as an erogenous zone when tenderly caressed."

>Oh god what?

>How... how have you NEVER known about this stuff?

>You DATED Trixie! Why did you never try any of this stuff while having se-

>Oh.

>Dominant, overbearing, blue bitch.

>Right.

 

>One last page in the back catches your attention.

>It's a sort of FAQ section.

"When dating a mare, one must take note of a certain point in the year when their urge to mate goes into extreme overdrive."

>Oh god here we go.

"The cycle differs from mare to mare, but ponies in close proximity have a tendency to sync up mating times."

>Huh.

"During this time period, the female will grow an insatiable desire to mate with the closest male in the area. If a male is to live side-by-side the females in question, then the urge to fornicate with ANY male is curbed, choosing instead to single out the one particular stallion."

>HUH.

"An early sign that the cycle is nearing is an acute increase in bashfulness and embarrassment. Mares deliberately avoiding a male out of the blue is also a common sign."

>Wait.

>Bashfulness?

>Sudden avoidance?

>...

>No.

>No way.

>That... that's just gotta be fake.

>In all your time here in Equestria, you've never encountered this freak mating cycle.

>The book had to have been making it up in order to add more pages to the total it already had.

>That had to be it.

 

>You finally make it home, plopping down on the couch and relaxing.

>Bon-Bon sat next to you, already engrossed in one of her shows.

"Yo."

>BON: "Hey."

"What's this?"

>BON: "New show. Lie to Me. Pretty good."

>She was talking a bit...

>...faster, than usual.

>Meh.

"New show? Didn't they cancel it a while back?"

>BON: "Never seen it before. New to me."

"Uh huh.."

>BON: "Yep."

>She won't take her eyes off the TV screen.

>Shrugging, you walk over to the kitchen and grab a glass of water.

"Need anything while I'm in here?"

>She says nothing.

>A frown forms on your face.

>Bon-Bon was the quiet type, sure, but she talked WAY more than this.

>Although, she WAS trying to watch something she'd never seen before, so you can sympathize.

>Returning to her, you notice your book on the counter.

>An idea springs into your head.

>Time to see if those tips were in any way accurate.

 

>Sitting back down and taking a swig of water, you casually rest your right arm on the head of the couch, above Bon-Bon.

>She hasn't seemed to notice yet.

>Even more casually, and a lot more carefully, you bring your hand to rest on the back of her neck, as you softly stroke her mane.

>She tenses up, and glances to you.

>BON: "What is the meaning of this?"

>Her face is deadpan as usual.

"Pettin' ya."

>BON: "You're petting me."

"Yes."

>BON: "Why are you petting me?"

"Am I not allowed to pet you?"

>BON: "You are."

"Do you not want me to pet you?"

>...

>BON: "...I'll allow it."

>You can't tell if the red on her face is from the glare of the TV, or from her blushing.

>In any case, time for the moment of truth.

>You take your hand and softly begin scratching at the back of Bon-Bon's ear.

>And then things get weird.

 

>If she stiffened when you began to pet her mane, then you could only call what she's doing now as "melting."

>She's gone completely limp on the couch, but her eyes are still fixed on the screen.

>Well, so far this was doing what you thought it would.

>Nothing much.

>She was responding more like a dog would than what the book described.

>Then you softly squeeze her ear.

>BON: "~Haaah~"

>What.

>What... was that, exactly?

>Did... did she just moan?

>You look over to the book.

>No way.

>You get a grin on your face as you mull over the possibilities.

>Bon-Bon and Lyra have been trying to win you over at every chance they got, sometimes embarrassing you in public.

>Time for a bit of revenge.

 

>You rub her ear with a tad more pressure, and her other one flicks back and forth as you do so.

>BON: "Anon?"

>Her voice sounds flustered.

"Yeah?"

>BON: "You walk a dangerous road."

>Well now that was ominous.

"What do you mean?"

>You move to her other ear.

>BON: "~Ah!~"

>Okay, WOW, this was way too easy.

>BON: "I will not be held responsible for my actions if you continue down this course."

>You stop your ear fondling.

"...okay, you've got me. What?"

>You get a better look at Bon-Bon's face.

>Dear god that's a whole lot of blush.

>Bon-Bon looks up to you, her eyes hazy and unfocused.

>Those were some big pupils.

>You also notice that as you rubbed her ears, she was also raising up her backside.

>Uh.

>Maybe this wasn't the best of ideas.

"Actually, you know what? Sorry. I'll uh... I'll just stop for now. Sorry."

>You get up and start walking to your attic ladder.

>That's when you hear the Bon-Bon sprinting at you from behind.

 

"Wait wha-"

>She slams into your back, sending you both rolling down the hall and crashing against Lyra's door.

"Ow! What in the hell was that fo-"

>Oh.

>Oh NO.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrn9c3mCzas&feature=related

 

>Bon-Bon's breathing is shallow and comes in ragged breaths as she looks into your eyes once she pins you too the ground.

"Okay, no. No Bon-Bon."

>BON: "I warned you about this."

"What you told me was cryptic at best. Bad Bon-Bon. No."

>BON: "Please-"

>She leans in close to your face.

>BON: "-Call me Bonnie."

>GET OUT.

>ABORT.

>FUCKING MOVE, MAN.

>You roll away from Bon-Bon right as she dives in for a kiss, replacing her intended target with the wooden floor.

"I think we've skipped some levels, Bon-Bo-"

>BON: "Bonnie."

"Right, Bonnie, whatever."

>She bites her lip and inches closer to you.

"No."

>BON: "You're going to love me, Anon."

"You're delirious."

>BON: "I'm HOT, is what I am."

"And bothered, I got that. But still, NO."

 

>LYRA: "Hi there, I was taking a nap, then I hear someone ram into my door. What's going on?"

>Thank GOD.

>Lyra steps out of her room and sees you.

>Her eyes go hazy.

>...no.

"Guys."

>Lyra bites her lip.

"Guys, no."

>They both look to each other, and smile.

>LYRA: "Truce?"

>BON: "For now."

>LYRA: "I can live with that."

>Then both of them move in on you.

>Sweet Jesus.

>They TEAMED UP.

>You am-scray out of there as fast as you can, but the chase is on.

"I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS."

>LYRA: "Don't fight it! I don't bite!"

>BON: "I do."

>You rush behind the couch, putting the furniture between you and them.

>Think Anon, THINK.

"Uhm... WAIT! If... if you just let me go to my room to change clothes, I'll... uh... what do you want me to do, exactly?"

>Bon-Bon lets out a passionate sigh.

>BON: "Everything."

>Oh god what's happening?

"Right. Well, if you let me change, I'll...do that... to you. Yeah."

>The two of them exchange a wary look, but allow it.

>LYRA: "Fine. But hurry up. The anticipation is... well, killing us."

"Haha... right."

>You edge your way around the couch, moving around them in an arc.

"Okay, just gonna go to my attic now. No funny stuff, alright?"

>The two of them nod, their faces painted red with blushing.

"Okay then. Going now."

>You climb the ladder to your room.

>And then shut the hatch and lock it as fast as you can.

 

>LYRA: "LIES. HE LIED."

>BON: "I will not stand for this."

>LYRA: "I can't- I can't unlock the thing with my magic!"

>BON: "I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS."

>LYRA: "Anon, you come down here RIGHT NOW and give us release!"

>BON: "I'm going for the attic window."

>LYRA: "What? We don't have a ladder that high to reach it. How are you-"

>BON: "Lyra he just sat down next to me and started rubbing my ear. My EAR, Lyra."

>LYRA: "Oh that dirty, DIRTY man."

>BON: "I warned him. He did not heed it. Now, I'm going to get what I want."

>LYRA: "Save some for me?"

>BON: "Sorry, but this is personal now."

>LYRA: "Ugh, fine. Maybe tomorrow then."

>BON: "Our cycles end tomorrow anyway. I told myself I would hold off, but... yeah. Going to get him now."

>Lyra sighs.

>LYRA: "Well good luck to you, Bonnie. Oh, and one favor?"

>BON: "Hm?"

>LYRA: "Don't tire him out too much."

 

>You heave a sigh of relief as you back away from the attic's hatch, safe and sound in your bedroom.

>You honestly thought for a second there that you were going to be double teamed at once by two mares.

>You pause.

>Wait.

>You already had relations with a pony in the past.

>Why were you so adamant to get away from them then?

>Oh.

>Right.

>It's because they looked like they were going to MURDER you with their love.

>You were exhausted from the chase and the day's work from earlier.

>You decide to at least air this room out, try to get some fresh air.

>Walking over to the attic window and undoing the latch, you swing it open and take a deep breath.

>You'd escaped.

>You'd survived.

>You decide to proclaim your victory to the outside world.

"Ha! Nop0ny takes advantage of Anonymous! No-"

>Your face is tackled by a blur of blue, pink and cream colors as Bon-Bon leaps through the window and onto you.

"NO. HOW DID YOU-"

>BON: "Shut up and just go with it, Anon."

"But... but..."

>BON: "You still like us, right?"

"Wel... yeah, but-"

>BON: "And you were okay with me and Lyra kissing you, right?"

"That's besides the poi-"

>BON: "You fucked Trixie when the two of you dated, right?"

"IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME BACK THEN."

>BON: "Then for right now, just let me have this."

>You're shut the fuck up when Bon-Bon seals your mouth with a deep kiss, her breath tickling your face as she exhales while doing so.

>That book was the worst thing to happen to you.

>Or the best.

>All a matter of perspective, really.

 

~END~