Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Guest

Da Gweat God Badpoopie, Part 2

By: PPPone on May 4th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 9.47 KB  |  hits: 512  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. Da Gweat God Badpoopie
  2. Part 2
  3.  
  4. >Bruno is quiet the next day.  
  5. >You actually are able to relax for a bit, get some work done.
  6. >You even are able to play with him a bit, and scratch his belly.  
  7. >Maybe feel a bit guilty about last night.
  8. >By evening, though, the terror of yesterday is wearing off, and Bruno is back to his usual bratty self.      
  9. >You feed him Pone-Chow.
  10. >He wrinkles his nose.
  11. >”Wan’ sketties.”
  12. >You’ve heard about this.  Why the hell would a pony like spaghetti?
  13. >”Eat your Pone-Chow.  It’s good for you.”
  14. >”No wan’ Pone-Chow.  Yucky.”
  15. >”Too bad.  Eat it.”
  16. >”Old daddy gif sketties sometimes.”  Bruno pouts.
  17. >Is he talking about his first owner?  Or your brother?  Does he think he lives HERE, now?
  18. >In any case, your brother warned you about giving him spaghetti.  He loves it but it causes nasty diarrhea.
  19. >”Well, your daddy didn’t say you could have spaghetti.  Eat.”
  20. >”No wan’!  Wan’ sketties!”  He whines.  
  21. >”You can have a Pone-treat if you eat your dinner.”
  22. >”No wike Pone-tweat.”  Bruno does a raspberry.  “Pone-tweat yucky.”
  23. >”Bruno…”
  24. >He starts spinning and bucking in a tantrum.
  25. >”Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!”
  26. >He kicks his bowl, sending a shower of Pone-chow across the room.  He doesn’t stop.
  27. >You just stare at him.  
  28. >He didn’t learn his lesson.
  29. >Phase two, activate.
  30. >”Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!  Wan’ sketties!”
  31. >”Okay, Bruno!  I’m gonna give you sketties, okay?”
  32. >Bruno stops his tantrum, his eyes lighting up.  “Weawy?  Yay, sketties!  Sketties!  Sketties!”
  33. >You go into the kitchen, measure out a huge portion of spaghetti, begin boiling water.
  34. >In the meantime, you take a big sugar cookie, coat it with redi-whip and top it with mini marshmallows and a maraschino cherry.
  35. >You bring the plate with the cookie out into the dining room, where Bruno is still marching in circles, chanting “Sketties!”
  36. >Place the plate with the cookie on the floor.
  37. >Immediately grab Bruno by the scruff of his neck as he charges for it, screaming “Nummies!”
  38. >Hold him up off the floor, panting, little legs whirring.
  39. >”Bruno, that’s not for you.”
  40. >His leggies stop.  “Not fow Bwuno?”  His lip quivers.
  41. >”No.  You get sketties.  This isn’t sketties.  You mustn’t eat it, okay?  Can I trust you?”
  42. >Bruno nods vigorously.  “Can twust Bwuno.  No eat nummies.”
  43. >”Okay, then.”  
  44. >Snicker silently.
  45. >You finish preparing spaghetti, pour the huge portion into Bruno’s bowl.
  46. >You quarter a sleeping pill, crush it finely, sprinkle it on the spaghetti, and bring it out.
  47. >As expected, the cookie is gone.  Bruno is still chewing, whipped cream all over his mouth.
  48. >”Bruno!”  You gasp.
  49. >He freezes, looks at you.
  50. >”What did you do?”
  51. >He looks confused.  “Bwuno eat nummies.”
  52. >”And what did I tell you not to do?”
  53. >Bruno squints and thinks.  
  54. >And thinks and thinks and thinks.  
  55. >He stares at the plate, at the flecks of whipped cream and crumbs on the floor.  
  56. >You can almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.
  57. >”Bwuno… eat nummies.  Bwuno… not s’pose eat nummies!”
  58. >He looks up at you, so proud he remembered.
  59. >”But you DID eat the nummies, Bruno.”
  60. >He looks at the plate.
  61. >”You were a bad fluffy, Bruno.”
  62. >His eyes widen.  ”Nuuu.  Bwuno sowwy.  Not bad fwuffy.”
  63. >”Do you know whose nummies those were, Bruno?”  You say solemnly.
  64. >He gives you a blank look.
  65. >”That was an offering for the Great God Badpoopie.”
  66. >Bruno shrieks.  
  67. >He may be dumb as a doorknob, but he remembers that.
  68. >”Nuuu!  Bwuno sowwy!  No mean to eat!  No wan’ poopie pwace buwnin’!”  
  69. >He scrambles in panicked circles, stepping on the edge of the plate, sending it clattering around the floor, running into a chair leg.
  70. >”Don’t worry.”  You say.
  71. >Bruno stops.  “Why no wowwy?”
  72. >”Because Badpoopie never sends the same curse twice.  Maybe this time he didn’t see you.  Maybe you’re lucky.”
  73. >The fluffy blinks.  “I not wucky.  I Bwuno.”
  74. >Facepalm.
  75. >Feed him the enormous bowl of spaghetti.
  76. >Fat little greedy bastard eats every bite.
  77. >He pauses throughout, turning in place, looking worried, trying to look at his asshole.  
  78. >But the Great God Badpoopie has other plans.
  79. >After dinner, you play.
  80. >The sleeping pill is taking effect.  
  81. >Bruno’s eyes are fluttering.
  82. >Let him sleep on the floor.
  83. >Clear out saferoom, put down tarp, put everything back.
  84. >Go to the desk, get two pairs of small binder clips.
  85. >Remove one handle, link with the other, reattach, so you’ve made a pair of double-ended clips.
  86. >Bruno is fast asleep, snoring lightly and blowing snot bubbles from his nose.
  87. >Attach the clips to his tail, and then clip the other ends to the fluff on his butt.
  88. >Take Bruno to the safe room and tuck him into bed.
  89. >Go to bed.
  90. >Sleep in late the next morning.
  91. >Ignore the frantic whining from the safe room, make coffee.
  92. >You hear Bruno calling you, faintly, through the door.
  93. >”Hewp, pwease.  Gotta make poopies… hewp…”
  94. >Open saferoom door.  
  95. >Bruno is running in circles, puffing his cheeks out, eyes wide.  He stops when he sees you.  His little hooves crinkle against the tarp.  He looks down at it.
  96. >”Why new fwoah?”
  97. >”I thought you’d like the new floor.”
  98. >Bruno processes this, or tries to, then starts circling and puffing again.
  99. >”What’s wrong, little buddy?”
  100. >”Bw.. Bwuno gotta go poopies…”
  101. >”Well, there’s your litterbox.”
  102. >”But Bwuno… no can wift taiw.”  He turns to show you.
  103. >Indeed, the clips have stuck his tail in the “down” position.  
  104. >Fluffy is too stupid to figure out the problem, even if he could see the clips, which he can’t past his fat fluffy sides.
  105. >“Well, Bruno, you have to lift your tail.  Otherwise you’ll go poopie all over yourself.  Then you won’t smell pretty.”
  106. >Bruno gulps.
  107. >”Only bad fluffies go poopie all over themselves, Bruno.  You’re not a bad fluffy, are you?”
  108. >”Nuu!”  Bruno is gasping now, trying to hold it in.  The binder clips rattle and clack but hold firm.  “Bwuno good fwuffy!  Why no wift taiw?”
  109. >Big, theatrical gasp.  “Uh-oh.  Must be the new curse from the Great God Badpoopie.  You shouldn’t have eaten his nummies, Bruno!”
  110. >“Nuu!  No wan’ cuwse!  Wan go poopies!”
  111. >He scampers to his litterbox, backs in, looking determined.
  112. >He strains, then tears start to roll down his cheeks.
  113. >”Pwease hewp fwuffy!  Wift taiw, pwease…”
  114. >”Sorry, I can’t.  Then I might catch the curse.”
  115. >”Tuh… tummy huwt…”
  116. >Bruno’s eyes grow wide.
  117. >Wet, spattery spaghetti fart.
  118. >You hear the bloop and glop of wet shit splashing out.
  119. >”Nuuu… no smeww pwetty!”  Bruno cries.  He leaps from the litterbox.  
  120. >Leaves a trail of shit.  It’s plastered all over his ass.
  121. >”Bruno!  I thought you knew how to use a litterbox!”  You say sharply.
  122. >He trembles  ”Bwu… Bwuno sowwy, taiw…”
  123. >”No excuses, Bruno!”
  124. >”P…pwease, no sowwy stick…”
  125. >You smile.  ”No sorry stick, Bruno.  Hold on, I’ll get you something.”
  126. >Grab another sugar cookie from the jar.
  127. >Load it up with Redi-whip.
  128. >Coat liberally with powdered laxative.
  129. >Make another huge bowl of spaghetti for Bruno.
  130. >Heck, fix another bowl too, with Pone-chow.
  131. >Bruno is standing in the middle of the room, hyperventilating, talking softly to himself.
  132. >”Taiw go upsies, pwease.  Pwease taiw go up so Bwuno can make good poopsies…”
  133. >Wrinkle your nose against the stink.  
  134. >Give him food and cookie, assure him he’s a good pony for trying.
  135. >Tell him you have things to do.
  136. >”Nuuu!  No weave…”
  137. >His cries are muffled by the closing door.
  138. >Grab laptop, go out.
  139. >Sit at coffee shop, write.
  140. >Browse some stores.
  141. >Call up an old pal, meet for lunch.
  142. >Walk through the park.
  143. >Do some shopping.
  144. >Come home as it’s getting dark.
  145. >Put away groceries.
  146. >Hear soft sobbing coming from saferoom.
  147. >Open the door.
  148. >Almost pass out from the smell.
  149. >Bruno is lying on his side, chest heaving.
  150. >His eyes are red and it looks like he’s been crying for hours.
  151. >Cookie is gone, bowl of spaghetti empty, of course.  Even the Pone-chow is gone.  Even in crisis the little shit couldn’t help but scarf every bite down.
  152. >There is shit everywhere.  Literally everywhere.
  153. >The litterbox is almost completely full.
  154. >Poopy fluffy prints all over the floor.
  155. >Random piles of mushy shit.
  156. >He even got some above the tarp, maybe trying to wipe his ass on the walls.
  157. >”N…no… smeww… pwetty…”  Bruno moans.
  158. >That’s a fucking understatement.
  159. >Bruno tries to stand.
  160. >It’s hard, as he has what looks like five pounds of shit trapped between his tail and the fluff on his ass weighing him down.
  161. >His body is coated, too, where he rolled or lay down in it.
  162. >”M…Made a wot a’ bad poopies… tummy huwted… pwease no sowwy box…”
  163. >He vomits, spraying bits of spaghetti noodles all over.  
  164. >Pick him up in an old towel.
  165. >Toss him in tub.
  166. >Run water.
  167. >Hold him down as he first shrieks about “Cowd wawa!” and soon after about “Hawt wawa!”
  168. >Bathe him thoroughly.
  169. >Remove binder clips from tail, hide them before he can see them.
  170. >Wrap him in towels and put him in a box for safekeeping.
  171. >He doesn’t even complain.  He’s just sobbing.
  172. >Thoroughly clean saferoom.  Toss tarp and scrub walls.
  173. >You almost lose your cookies twice but you get the job done.  
  174. >Your whole house is gonna smell for days.
  175. >Still worth it.  
  176.  
  177. TO BE CONTINUED…