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Permavirgin

By: Ordnung on Jan 2nd, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 19.33 KB | hits: 168 | expires: Never

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>Day just like any other in Pittsburgh
>You are Anon
>No one has ever held your hand, kissed you, hugged you, or even thought about having sexual relations with you
>Let alone had sex with you
>You are also NEET and living in your parents' basement
>"Honey, breakfast is ready!"
Coming, mommy.
>You roll your scrawny ass out of bed and fall on the floor
>Fuck
>You get up, gather yourself, and start making your way upstairs from your cave, kicking all of the empty pizza boxes and soda cans out of the way
>You take your seat at the kitchen table and munch on the delicious french toast your mother made for you
>"So, when are you getting a job?"
Mommy, I'm working on it.
>"Since when do you work on stuff?"
I've been on these threads on 4chan recently. A couple of guys have these threads where an anonymous person is the only human in a place full of talking ponies, and one of them wants to rape him. By lurking in these threads, I can improve my writing skills and become a famous author.
>She looks at you with an eyebrow raised
>"There's an spot down at the pizza place."
But I don't want a lame job like that. That's only for plebeians.
>"Apply for a job there or else you're grounded."
>You sigh
Yes, mommy.
>You finish your breakfast and continue the day with the shit-shower-shave routine
>A job at a pizza place sounds really dumb
>Fuck that
>But how were you supposed convince your mother otherwise?
>You go back down to your lair and sit at your computer desk, thinking
>In the corner, you spot some candles
>On the ground are tons of empty pizza boxes, sauce still dripping out of them
>That's it!
>You'll pray to Satan
>Surely he can convince mommy not to send you to the pizza place
>You clear the middle of the room, pushing all your empty soda cans to the side
>You gather up as much sauce as you can to form the shape of a pentagram
>You place the candles on the vertices of the star and start praying
Saatana Perkele. Saatana Perkele...
>As you pray, the house begins rumbling
>"Anon, come upstairs this instant! There's an earthquake!"
>You yell up the stairs
Be there in a second, mommy.
>You continue your chant
>The candles burn out for a second
>Then one of them lights back up, turning red
>The next one, orange
>Then yellow
>Then green
>Then blue
>Who knew Satan was so fabulous?
>A flash of fire stems from the middle of the pentagram
>After it dies down, you can see a demon emerge
>His skin is red
>He sports a pair of square glasses and wears corporate casual wear
>And he has the Bill Gates haircut
>What?
A-are you Satan?
>"Huh? No. I'm his nephew."
>Oh god, he sounds like Mandark from Dexter's Lab
Ugh. Whatever. Can you at least help me?
>"Well, what do you need?"
My mommy is trying to force me to work at the pizza place, but I don't want to.
>"I can see how that could be a problem."
Yeah, great. Can you help?
>"Of course I can."
>You punch the air
Sweet.
>"For a price."
>That wiped the grin off your face
What kind of price?
>"A blow job."
What? No! Gay.
>"I guess you don't want my help then. I'll just le-"
Wait.
>Nigger, were you actually considering giving Satan's nephew a BJ?
>Well, nobody has to know...
I'll do it.
>"Oh, that's cool. Get on your knees."
>You obey his orders and get down to shame yourself
>He whips out his dick
>All 12 inches
>Holy shit
And how long do I have to do it?
>"Until I cum."
>Yuck
>His boner rises from the dead and it attracts your mouth to itself
>You take out your tongue to give it a quick taste first
>The tip of his penis is tickled by your tongue
>"Ooh, wow. Kinky."
>That damn voice
>But his dick didn't taste that bad
>Kind of like a hot dog, actually
>"Here comes the choo-choo train."
>His long rod slowly enters its way through your tunnel until it can not trek any farther
>This actually wasn't half bad
>A bit enjoyable
>You begin to pump your mouth back and forth on his dick
>Occasionally you take a break and just lick it
>"Oh yeah. That's the stuff."
>After about 10 minutes of giving Satan's nephew a blow job, he finally blows his load in your mouth
>You turn your head to the ground, getting ready to spit
>"Swallow."
>You follow his command and swallow delicious demon semen
>It tasted pretty good
>A little too salty, though
Alright, you gonna help me or what?
>"Of course."
>He steps out of the pentagram and waves his hands at it
>The pentagram forms a wormhole
>"Jump in there and all your problems in this world will go away."
>It seemed a little suspicious
>But hey, you weren't going to make that blow job a wasted effort
>You jump into the wormhole
>You see some weird shit in there
>Everywhere you look, you see fractals
>All you can hear is the screaming of tortured souls
>You finally reach the end of the wormhole
>It spits you out into a familiar place
>You look around to find out you're in a village
>Ponies walk around, buying stuff, and having conversations just like humans
>You are in P0nyville
>Oh fuck
>Mommy is going to be worried about you
>You didn't get the chance to tell her you were going out
>Ah well...doesn't matter anyway
>Probably gonna be stuck here forever
>On the bright side, it'd be easy to become a famous author here
>Their literature probably sucks for the most part
>And you could impress Twilight
>She'd probably fuck you
>And you'd like that
>You goddamn horsefucker
>It'd be nice to finally lose your virginity
>Brain: "Didn't you suck Mandark's dick earlier?"
>Fuck off, brain
>That didn't count
>"Mommy, what is that animal?"
>Everyp0ny looks at you
>They get closer to you in amazement
>"I don't know, sweetie."
>"He looks like an ape."
>"Or a monkey."
>"Let's try and communicate with it!"
>He goes up to you
>He says in an extremely condescending voice
>"Do you understand?"
>The pony pokes you
Hey! Fuck off.
>Everp0ny gasps
>Pony: "It can talk!"
Of course I can talk, ya filthy cunt.
>Twilight is in the back of the crowd
>"What's going on?"
>"This strange creature just walked into town."
>"And it can talk!"
>Twilight's eyes sparkle
>"Sounds intriguing!"
>She makes her way through the crowd and up to you
>"Hi. My name is Twilight Sparkle."
Sup, Twi? I'm Anon.
>"Wow, you're even more fluent than I imagined."
The feeling is mutual.
>She has the biggest smile on her face
>"Uh, may I bring you to my library, so I can study you?"
>She's blushing
>Sweet
>You're going to fuck Twilight
>It should be easy
>Impress her with literature, and she'll be all over your dick like OP in a hot dog eating contest
Of course.
>"Great, let's go."
>She giggles
>This'll be _really_ easy
>She takes you to her library and introduces you to Spike and Owlowiscious
>"Twilight, what kind of animal is he?"
>"I don't know, Spike. Anon?"
I am a human.
>"How do you spell that?"
>She takes out a quill and paper
H-U-M-A-N
>For the next half an hour, she asks questions about you and your home world, and you answer
>There's no way she can check if your claims are true or not, so you decide to fuck around
>"Who's the ruler of your world?"
He's called Jean-Luc Picard. He was the captain of a starship, but he retired to rule the world.
>...
>"How many planets have you visited?"
All of them.
>...
>"So, when mating with these alien creatures, do you encounter any difficulties?"
Only when their sisters walk in.
>...
>"Do you have a job?"
I do. I am an author.
>"An author?!"
>She nerdgasms
Yes. I just said that.
>"That's extraordinary. What kind of novels do you write?"
Um...romance, mostly.
>"How many have you written?"
I've lost count.
>"Can you give me a plot summary of some of them?"
>Shit, you didn't think this all the way through
>You think of the first plot that comes to mind
The main character in one of my stories is mute, and he only has one true friend because only she can understand him. He loves her like a sister, but she wants to take the relationship further. She ends up abusing him, and a whole adventure happens.
>"Sounds like a very sad story. Tell me about another one."
>Crap, what's another one?
>Think, think, think!
There's, uh, this one about this crazy chick who falls in love with a little boy. In order to prove her love, she hurts anyone who tries to go near him. She ends up gaining these extreme super powers, and controls the guy's universe throughout his life. It's a series.
>"Scary. One more, please?"
Um, the main character adopts a child and uh...hey! I'm tired of talking about myself. What kind of novels are in this world?
>"Before I talk about my world, Mr. Romance, I need to know one more thing."
>She gives you a sultry look
And what's that?
>"What are your mating rituals?"
>It begins
>Time to put on your smooth moves
Do you really want to know, Twibright?
>"Twilight."
>Freudian slip
Uh, sorry, I'm bad with names. Anyways, instead of telling you, how about I show you?
>You grab her hoof
If you know what I mean...
>Aw yeah
>You must look so sexy right now
>Goddamn, you're hard just thinking about yourself
>She laughs
>"Anon, I don't mind the flirting, but I think it'd be better if we were friends."
>What?
>"How about you tell me?"
>Dammit
Fine.
>Before you can explain the birds and the bees to Twilight, Rarity walks in
>"Hi, Rarity."
>"Hello, Twilight."
>Rarity sees you
>"And who is this handsome creature?"
>A girl called you handsome?
>Why would any girl call you handsome?
>...
>She must want your dick
>Yeah...
>That's it
I am...
>You grab the curtains on the window and put it up to your face
>And in a thick, Spanish accent, you say
Sergio!
>"Rarity, this is Anon. Anon, Rarity."
Dang it, Twilight.
>Rarity giggles
>"Well, Anon, you certainly do have a sense of humor."
>You need an excuse to go to Rarity's
Twilight.
>"Yes?"
Would you happen to know where I can buy some clothes?
>"Actually, Rarity here makes clothes."
>"Indeed, I do. You'd look marvelous in some of my clothes."
If it's okay with Twilight, I'd like to go back to your place for a while.
>"Sure. Twilight?"
>"Of course."
>"Splendid. I guess we'd better get going now."
>"Bye Rarity and Anon."
>"Until next time, Twilight."
We'll catch up later, Twilight.
>Rarity exits the library, but before you walk out...
>"Anon."
Yes, Twilight?
>"You flirt."
>You smile at her and close the door
>Later, at the Carousel Boutique, Rarity is measuring your body
>After measuring you, she starts to design some clothes
>You wait a while, and Rarity eventually comes out with a pair of clothes
>They look pretty cool
>White shirt and pants
>A red bowtie
>A vertically striped, red, and white vest
>And a boater hat
>You try on these clothes and take a look in the mirror
>"So, how is it, darling?"
>It's excellent
>You look like you could start a barbershop quartet
>Better keep that in mind
I look pretty cool. Thanks, Rarity.
>"That'll be forty bits."
>You don't have any money
>Hopefully, you can get out of this
>And into her
It appears I don't have any money. Is there some other way to pay you?
>You try to look at her seductively
>But fail miserably
>"I appreciate your offer, Anon, but you don't have to do that. Just pay me later."
>Piss
>She probably just doesn't know she wants your dick
>Oh well, you'll deal with her later
>You need to earn some bits
>You'll just try to work at Sweet Apple Acres
>You're sure Applejack could find some jobs for you to do around the farm
>You set off for Applejack's house and, upon arriving, you see her bucking some trees
>Maybe she could buck _you_ later
Hello, Ms. Applejack.
>"Hey the-AH!"
>She jumps and backs away
Is there something wrong?
>She calms a bit
>"Uh, no. Sorry. It's just that we don't see many, um..."
Humans?
>"Humans around these here parts."
My name is Anon. Pleased to meet you.
>"Pleasure to meet you, too. How do you know me?"
Your friend, Twilight, talked about you.
>"You know Twilight?"
Of course. I met her only today, but my point still stands.
>"Welcome to P0nyville, Mr. Anon. What can I do you for?"
I was wondering if you have any job openings here at the farm.
>"I'm sorry to tell you this, but this here is a family-run business."
Oh, I don't have to have a full-time job here. I just need 40 bits to pay for these clothes I bought.
>She puts her hoof on her chin and ponders for just a moment
>"I guess we can provide you with some work today."
Thanks. Where can I start?
>Throughout the few hours of your time at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack has you do some odd jobs to earn some bits such as cleaning, plowing, and gathering apples
>But when you had to buck the trees...
>There you are, standing in front of an apple tree
>You do a handstand and kick the tree with all of your might
>Nothing falls down
>It didn't even budge
>You try again
>And again
>And again
>Applejack spots you
>"Maybe I should do this job."
>You pant
Yeah...
>And then fall down
>She laughs
>Later, you two are in the barn
>Applejack is holding a piece of paper
>"According to these here fancy mathematics, you earned 38 bits."
>38?
>You needed 40
That's two bits short. Is there anything else I can do?
>"Nah. All of the jobs for today are done. Thanks for the help, by the way."
>You sprout an idea
>You can get laid _and_ paid
>At the same time
>Genius
Are you sure there's...
>You position your face mere centimeters from hers
Nothing else?
>She gets a big smile on her face
>"Haha. Just take the two bits there, lover boy."
>She gives you the money you need
>At least you won't be in debt to Rarity any longer
Thanks.
>You leave the barn for Carousel Boutique
>Upon arrival, you meet Pinkie inside the Boutique, chatting with Rarity
>"Oh, hello again, dear Anon. Pinkie, this is the fine fellow Twilight and I met today."
>"Ooh! A new guy in P0nyville? You know what that means."
A party?
>"No, silly. A party!"
>What
>You take out your (mostly) hard-earned bits and hand them to Rarity
>"Thank you, dear."
No problem.
>"Oh! We need balloons, and music, and punch..."
>Pinkie keeps blabbering on about the party for later
Pinkie.
>"Yes?"
>She turns her head to look at you
>And damn, she looks adorable with a big grin on her face
The party can't be a surprise if you tell me all about it.
>She gasps
>"You're right! Anon, come to Sugarcube Corner later."
I will make sure of that.
>She brings out a pair of keys and pushes the button on it
>The Pinkmobile crashes through the ceiling and lands in front of you three
>Pinkie gets in the car and revs the engine
>"Later!"
>Flames shoot out of the back and propel Pinkie through the wall
>Rarity's house is destroyed
>She only stares off into the distance
I guess I'd better get going.
>She says nothing
Bye.
>You awkwardly leave
>You walk around aimlessly in P0nyville, looking for something to do
>Rainbow Dash swoops down in front of you
>"Hey, Anon, is it?"
Yes?
>"I'm Rainbow Dash. Applejack told me about you."
What'd she say?
>"Oh, nothin`."
>She blushes
>"Anyway, I just wanted to know if you'd like to race. I wanna see what humans can do."
Cool. I've always wanted to see what a pegasus can do.
>In bed
>"We race to my house. Ready? Set. Go!"
>You two start racing
>By the time you run down one block, she's already there
>And then she flies back to you
>"Not so fast, are you?"
>You're panting
No, Rainbow Dash, not at all.
>Gotta make your move
>Fast
But, I am pretty athletic in other areas, though.
>"Like what?"
Just meet me in bed and I'll show you.
>She laughs
>"Sorry, Anon. I'm not into stallions. Nice try, though."
>You knew it!
>She was a lesbian
>"Though you look like you could pass for a mare. Haha!"
>Dammit, you knew mommy was putting gene therapy tablets in your cereal
>No wonder you had recent urges to watch Oprah
>And you liked giving a demon a blow job
>You glare at Dash
>"Oh, lighten up, Anon. There's a party waiting for you at Sugarcube Corner."
>That's right
>Pinkie said she was going to make a party for you
Let's go, then.
>At Sugarcube Corner, the lights are all out
>You flip on the light switch
>"Surprise!"
>Pinkie tackles you to the ground
>You have the most appropriate boner
Hi, Pinkie.
>She gets off of you and jumps around
>"I'm so glad we have someone new in P0nyville, especially a new species! We can go do fun stuff together like skiing, diving, running, jumping, hiking..."
>Pinkie begins to talk so fast, you can't understand her
Pinkie.
>"Yes?"
Let's get this party started!
>Everyp0ny is soon drinking, dancing, and carrying on about their conversations
>The music has a heavy bass
>Pinkie is playing in the chocolate fountain
Hey, Pinkie.
>"Hi, Anon."
Great party!
>"Thanks. I am the party pony."
Yeah. By the way, do you want to do something together? Just the two of us?
>"Ooh! Sounds fun. Where are we going to do it?"
>She seems enthusiastic
>Perfect
How about upstairs?
>"Let's go."
>You two go upstairs and into Pinkie's bedroom
>"So, what are we going to do up here?"
>She still doesn't get it
This.
>You kiss her
>She breaks the kiss and giggles
>"Oh, wow, Anon. I had no idea. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't do it."
Why not?
>"I just...I don't know."
C'mon. I was looking forward to this.
>"Sorry. Hey, it's getting late."
>She's right
>You look outside to see the moon shining
>"You should probably go home."
I don't have one yet. May I stay here?
>"Actually, I'm sure my friend, Fluttershy, can take you. She's downstairs."
Alright.
>You feel guilty now
>You just made Pinkie feel awkward
>You shrug it off and go downstairs to look for Fluttershy
>Everyp0ny else has left and she's sitting there at a table by herself
Fluttershy?
>"Y-yes? Are you A-Anon?"
Affirmative. Were you looking for me?
>"Um. Yes. I'd like to get to know you since, um, you know, you're new. And an animal."
>She smiles
>Fluttershy has always been best, most adorable pony
>And this is Flutterrape, right?
>That means she's into you
>She wants your dick
>You are going to hit that like a freight train
I'd love to chat, but it's getting late. May I stay at your house?
>"Oh, of course."
>She brings you to her cottage
>"Where do humans usually sleep?"
May I sleep with you?
>"Uh, sure, if you want."
>You take all of your clothes off
>You're sure ponies don't mind the nudity
Man, I look sexy, don't I?
>"Um, I guess."
>She guesses?
>Hmph
Well, let's go get some shut eye.
>You both go upstairs and into bed
Goodnight, Fluttershy.
>"Goodnight, Anon."
>You pretend to fall asleep and then brush your cock against Fluttershy
>"Anon?"
Huh?
>"You're uh..."
>You look at your dick
Sorry. Goodnight.
>"Goodnight."
>You put your arm around her
>"Anon."
Sorry, I'll stop.
>Finally, you give up
>She eventually falls asleep
>It becomes midnight, and you're still awake
>A circle of fire forms in front of the bed
>The demon from earlier appears
What now?
>"I've come here because I forgot to tell you something. You can only stay here if the story fits the Flutterrape guidelines."
Flutterrape guidelines?
>"Yes. If, in this world, Fluttershy doesn't want to rape you, or if you want to have sex with her, you will be sent back to Earth."
But what if she doesn't want to?
>"Then I guess you'll have to find a way. Goodbye, mere mortal!"
>He disappears in a cloud of smoke
>The place stinks like semen now
>Well, this sucks
>There has to be a way to make her want to rape you
>You don't want to go back to Earth
>Or even worse
>Have this story posted in a different thread
>You don't know how you are going to do it, but you are going to think of it tomorrow
>You fall asleep

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>Day just like any other in Pittsburgh
>You are Anon
>No one has ever held your hand, kissed you, hugged you, or even thought about having sexual relations with you
>Let alone had sex with you
>You are also NEET and living in your parents' basement
>"Honey, breakfast is ready!"
Coming, mommy.
>You roll your scrawny ass out of bed and fall on the floor
>Fuck
>You get up, gather yourself, and start making your way upstairs from your cave, kicking all of the empty pizza boxes and soda cans out of the way
>You take your seat at the kitchen table and munch on the delicious french toast your mother made for you
>"So, when are you getting a job?"
Mommy, I'm working on it.
>"Since when do you work on stuff?"
I've been on these threads on 4chan recently. A couple of guys have these threads where an anonymous person is the only human in a place full of talking ponies, and one of them wants to rape him. By lurking in these threads, I can improve my writing skills and become a famous author.
>She looks at you with an eyebrow raised
>"There's an spot down at the pizza place."
But I don't want a lame job like that. That's only for plebeians.
>"Apply for a job there or else you're grounded."
>You sigh
Yes, mommy.
>You finish your breakfast and continue the day with the shit-shower-shave routine
>A job at a pizza place sounds really dumb
>Fuck that
>But how were you supposed convince your mother otherwise?
>You go back down to your lair and sit at your computer desk, thinking
>In the corner, you spot some candles
>On the ground are tons of empty pizza boxes, sauce still dripping out of them
>That's it!
>You'll pray to Satan
>Surely he can convince mommy not to send you to the pizza place
>You clear the middle of the room, pushing all your empty soda cans to the side
>You gather up as much sauce as you can to form the shape of a pentagram
>You place the candles on the vertices of the star and start praying
Saatana Perkele. Saatana Perkele...
>As you pray, the house begins rumbling
>"Anon, come upstairs this instant! There's an earthquake!"
>You yell up the stairs
Be there in a second, mommy.
>You continue your chant
>The candles burn out for a second
>Then one of them lights back up, turning red
>The next one, orange
>Then yellow
>Then green
>Then blue
>Who knew Satan was so fabulous?
>A flash of fire stems from the middle of the pentagram
>After it dies down, you can see a demon emerge
>His skin is red
>He sports a pair of square glasses and wears corporate casual wear
>And he has the Bill Gates haircut
>What?
A-are you Satan?
>"Huh? No. I'm his nephew."
>Oh god, he sounds like Mandark from Dexter's Lab
Ugh. Whatever. Can you at least help me?
>"Well, what do you need?"
My mommy is trying to force me to work at the pizza place, but I don't want to.
>"I can see how that could be a problem."
Yeah, great. Can you help?
>"Of course I can."
>You punch the air
Sweet.
>"For a price."
>That wiped the grin off your face
What kind of price?
>"A blow job."
What? No! Gay.
>"I guess you don't want my help then. I'll just le-"
Wait.
>Nigger, were you actually considering giving Satan's nephew a BJ?
>Well, nobody has to know...
I'll do it.
>"Oh, that's cool. Get on your knees."
>You obey his orders and get down to shame yourself
>He whips out his dick
>All 12 inches
>Holy shit
And how long do I have to do it?
>"Until I cum."
>Yuck
>His boner rises from the dead and it attracts your mouth to itself
>You take out your tongue to give it a quick taste first
>The tip of his penis is tickled by your tongue
>"Ooh, wow. Kinky."
>That damn voice
>But his dick didn't taste that bad
>Kind of like a hot dog, actually
>"Here comes the choo-choo train."
>His long rod slowly enters its way through your tunnel until it can not trek any farther
>This actually wasn't half bad
>A bit enjoyable
>You begin to pump your mouth back and forth on his dick
>Occasionally you take a break and just lick it
>"Oh yeah. That's the stuff."
>After about 10 minutes of giving Satan's nephew a blow job, he finally blows his load in your mouth
>You turn your head to the ground, getting ready to spit
>"Swallow."
>You follow his command and swallow delicious demon semen
>It tasted pretty good
>A little too salty, though
Alright, you gonna help me or what?
>"Of course."
>He steps out of the pentagram and waves his hands at it
>The pentagram forms a wormhole
>"Jump in there and all your problems in this world will go away."
>It seemed a little suspicious
>But hey, you weren't going to make that blow job a wasted effort
>You jump into the wormhole
>You see some weird shit in there
>Everywhere you look, you see fractals
>All you can hear is the screaming of tortured souls
>You finally reach the end of the wormhole
>It spits you out into a familiar place
>You look around to find out you're in a village
>Ponies walk around, buying stuff, and having conversations just like humans
>You are in P0nyville
>Oh fuck
>Mommy is going to be worried about you
>You didn't get the chance to tell her you were going out
>Ah well...doesn't matter anyway
>Probably gonna be stuck here forever
>On the bright side, it'd be easy to become a famous author here
>Their literature probably sucks for the most part
>And you could impress Twilight
>She'd probably fuck you
>And you'd like that
>You goddamn horsefucker
>It'd be nice to finally lose your virginity
>Brain: "Didn't you suck Mandark's dick earlier?"
>Fuck off, brain
>That didn't count
>"Mommy, what is that animal?"
>Everyp0ny looks at you
>They get closer to you in amazement
>"I don't know, sweetie."
>"He looks like an ape."
>"Or a monkey."
>"Let's try and communicate with it!"
>He goes up to you
>He says in an extremely condescending voice
>"Do you understand?"
>The pony pokes you
Hey! Fuck off.
>Everp0ny gasps
>Pony: "It can talk!"
Of course I can talk, ya filthy cunt.
>Twilight is in the back of the crowd
>"What's going on?"
>"This strange creature just walked into town."
>"And it can talk!"
>Twilight's eyes sparkle
>"Sounds intriguing!"
>She makes her way through the crowd and up to you
>"Hi. My name is Twilight Sparkle."
Sup, Twi? I'm Anon.
>"Wow, you're even more fluent than I imagined."
The feeling is mutual.
>She has the biggest smile on her face
>"Uh, may I bring you to my library, so I can study you?"
>She's blushing
>Sweet
>You're going to fuck Twilight
>It should be easy
>Impress her with literature, and she'll be all over your dick like OP in a hot dog eating contest
Of course.
>"Great, let's go."
>She giggles
>This'll be _really_ easy
>She takes you to her library and introduces you to Spike and Owlowiscious
>"Twilight, what kind of animal is he?"
>"I don't know, Spike. Anon?"
I am a human.
>"How do you spell that?"
>She takes out a quill and paper
H-U-M-A-N
>For the next half an hour, she asks questions about you and your home world, and you answer
>There's no way she can check if your claims are true or not, so you decide to fuck around
>"Who's the ruler of your world?"
He's called Jean-Luc Picard. He was the captain of a starship, but he retired to rule the world.
>...
>"How many planets have you visited?"
All of them.
>...
>"So, when mating with these alien creatures, do you encounter any difficulties?"
Only when their sisters walk in.
>...
>"Do you have a job?"
I do. I am an author.
>"An author?!"
>She nerdgasms
Yes. I just said that.
>"That's extraordinary. What kind of novels do you write?"
Um...romance, mostly.
>"How many have you written?"
I've lost count.
>"Can you give me a plot summary of some of them?"
>Shit, you didn't think this all the way through
>You think of the first plot that comes to mind
The main character in one of my stories is mute, and he only has one true friend because only she can understand him. He loves her like a sister, but she wants to take the relationship further. She ends up abusing him, and a whole adventure happens.
>"Sounds like a very sad story. Tell me about another one."
>Crap, what's another one?
>Think, think, think!
There's, uh, this one about this crazy chick who falls in love with a little boy. In order to prove her love, she hurts anyone who tries to go near him. She ends up gaining these extreme super powers, and controls the guy's universe throughout his life. It's a series.
>"Scary. One more, please?"
Um, the main character adopts a child and uh...hey! I'm tired of talking about myself. What kind of novels are in this world?
>"Before I talk about my world, Mr. Romance, I need to know one more thing."
>She gives you a sultry look
And what's that?
>"What are your mating rituals?"
>It begins
>Time to put on your smooth moves
Do you really want to know, Twibright?
>"Twilight."
>Freudian slip
Uh, sorry, I'm bad with names. Anyways, instead of telling you, how about I show you?
>You grab her hoof
If you know what I mean...
>Aw yeah
>You must look so sexy right now
>Goddamn, you're hard just thinking about yourself
>She laughs
>"Anon, I don't mind the flirting, but I think it'd be better if we were friends."
>What?
>"How about you tell me?"
>Dammit
Fine.
>Before you can explain the birds and the bees to Twilight, Rarity walks in
>"Hi, Rarity."
>"Hello, Twilight."
>Rarity sees you
>"And who is this handsome creature?"
>A girl called you handsome?
>Why would any girl call you handsome?
>...
>She must want your dick
>Yeah...
>That's it
I am...
>You grab the curtains on the window and put it up to your face
>And in a thick, Spanish accent, you say
Sergio!
>"Rarity, this is Anon. Anon, Rarity."
Dang it, Twilight.
>Rarity giggles
>"Well, Anon, you certainly do have a sense of humor."
>You need an excuse to go to Rarity's
Twilight.
>"Yes?"
Would you happen to know where I can buy some clothes?
>"Actually, Rarity here makes clothes."
>"Indeed, I do. You'd look marvelous in some of my clothes."
If it's okay with Twilight, I'd like to go back to your place for a while.
>"Sure. Twilight?"
>"Of course."
>"Splendid. I guess we'd better get going now."
>"Bye Rarity and Anon."
>"Until next time, Twilight."
We'll catch up later, Twilight.
>Rarity exits the library, but before you walk out...
>"Anon."
Yes, Twilight?
>"You flirt."
>You smile at her and close the door
>Later, at the Carousel Boutique, Rarity is measuring your body
>After measuring you, she starts to design some clothes
>You wait a while, and Rarity eventually comes out with a pair of clothes
>They look pretty cool
>White shirt and pants
>A red bowtie
>A vertically striped, red, and white vest
>And a boater hat
>You try on these clothes and take a look in the mirror
>"So, how is it, darling?"
>It's excellent
>You look like you could start a barbershop quartet
>Better keep that in mind
I look pretty cool. Thanks, Rarity.
>"That'll be forty bits."
>You don't have any money
>Hopefully, you can get out of this
>And into her
It appears I don't have any money. Is there some other way to pay you?
>You try to look at her seductively
>But fail miserably
>"I appreciate your offer, Anon, but you don't have to do that. Just pay me later."
>Piss
>She probably just doesn't know she wants your dick
>Oh well, you'll deal with her later
>You need to earn some bits
>You'll just try to work at Sweet Apple Acres
>You're sure Applejack could find some jobs for you to do around the farm
>You set off for Applejack's house and, upon arriving, you see her bucking some trees
>Maybe she could buck _you_ later
Hello, Ms. Applejack.
>"Hey the-AH!"
>She jumps and backs away
Is there something wrong?
>She calms a bit
>"Uh, no. Sorry. It's just that we don't see many, um..."
Humans?
>"Humans around these here parts."
My name is Anon. Pleased to meet you.
>"Pleasure to meet you, too. How do you know me?"
Your friend, Twilight, talked about you.
>"You know Twilight?"
Of course. I met her only today, but my point still stands.
>"Welcome to P0nyville, Mr. Anon. What can I do you for?"
I was wondering if you have any job openings here at the farm.
>"I'm sorry to tell you this, but this here is a family-run business."
Oh, I don't have to have a full-time job here. I just need 40 bits to pay for these clothes I bought.
>She puts her hoof on her chin and ponders for just a moment
>"I guess we can provide you with some work today."
Thanks. Where can I start?
>Throughout the few hours of your time at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack has you do some odd jobs to earn some bits such as cleaning, plowing, and gathering apples
>But when you had to buck the trees...
>There you are, standing in front of an apple tree
>You do a handstand and kick the tree with all of your might
>Nothing falls down
>It didn't even budge
>You try again
>And again
>And again
>Applejack spots you
>"Maybe I should do this job."
>You pant
Yeah...
>And then fall down
>She laughs
>Later, you two are in the barn
>Applejack is holding a piece of paper
>"According to these here fancy mathematics, you earned 38 bits."
>38?
>You needed 40
That's two bits short. Is there anything else I can do?
>"Nah. All of the jobs for today are done. Thanks for the help, by the way."
>You sprout an idea
>You can get laid _and_ paid
>At the same time
>Genius
Are you sure there's...
>You position your face mere centimeters from hers
Nothing else?
>She gets a big smile on her face
>"Haha. Just take the two bits there, lover boy."
>She gives you the money you need
>At least you won't be in debt to Rarity any longer
Thanks.
>You leave the barn for Carousel Boutique
>Upon arrival, you meet Pinkie inside the Boutique, chatting with Rarity
>"Oh, hello again, dear Anon. Pinkie, this is the fine fellow Twilight and I met today."
>"Ooh! A new guy in P0nyville? You know what that means."
A party?
>"No, silly. A party!"
>What
>You take out your (mostly) hard-earned bits and hand them to Rarity
>"Thank you, dear."
No problem.
>"Oh! We need balloons, and music, and punch..."
>Pinkie keeps blabbering on about the party for later
Pinkie.
>"Yes?"
>She turns her head to look at you
>And damn, she looks adorable with a big grin on her face
The party can't be a surprise if you tell me all about it.
>She gasps
>"You're right! Anon, come to Sugarcube Corner later."
I will make sure of that.
>She brings out a pair of keys and pushes the button on it
>The Pinkmobile crashes through the ceiling and lands in front of you three
>Pinkie gets in the car and revs the engine
>"Later!"
>Flames shoot out of the back and propel Pinkie through the wall
>Rarity's house is destroyed
>She only stares off into the distance
I guess I'd better get going.
>She says nothing
Bye.
>You awkwardly leave
>You walk around aimlessly in P0nyville, looking for something to do
>Rainbow Dash swoops down in front of you
>"Hey, Anon, is it?"
Yes?
>"I'm Rainbow Dash. Applejack told me about you."
What'd she say?
>"Oh, nothin`."
>She blushes
>"Anyway, I just wanted to know if you'd like to race. I wanna see what humans can do."
Cool. I've always wanted to see what a pegasus can do.
>In bed
>"We race to my house. Ready? Set. Go!"
>You two start racing
>By the time you run down one block, she's already there
>And then she flies back to you
>"Not so fast, are you?"
>You're panting
No, Rainbow Dash, not at all.
>Gotta make your move
>Fast
But, I am pretty athletic in other areas, though.
>"Like what?"
Just meet me in bed and I'll show you.
>She laughs
>"Sorry, Anon. I'm not into stallions. Nice try, though."
>You knew it!
>She was a lesbian
>"Though you look like you could pass for a mare. Haha!"
>Dammit, you knew mommy was putting gene therapy tablets in your cereal
>No wonder you had recent urges to watch Oprah
>And you liked giving a demon a blow job
>You glare at Dash
>"Oh, lighten up, Anon. There's a party waiting for you at Sugarcube Corner."
>That's right
>Pinkie said she was going to make a party for you
Let's go, then.
>At Sugarcube Corner, the lights are all out
>You flip on the light switch
>"Surprise!"
>Pinkie tackles you to the ground
>You have the most appropriate boner
Hi, Pinkie.
>She gets off of you and jumps around
>"I'm so glad we have someone new in P0nyville, especially a new species! We can go do fun stuff together like skiing, diving, running, jumping, hiking..."
>Pinkie begins to talk so fast, you can't understand her
Pinkie.
>"Yes?"
Let's get this party started!
>Everyp0ny is soon drinking, dancing, and carrying on about their conversations
>The music has a heavy bass
>Pinkie is playing in the chocolate fountain
Hey, Pinkie.
>"Hi, Anon."
Great party!
>"Thanks. I am the party pony."
Yeah. By the way, do you want to do something together? Just the two of us?
>"Ooh! Sounds fun. Where are we going to do it?"
>She seems enthusiastic
>Perfect
How about upstairs?
>"Let's go."
>You two go upstairs and into Pinkie's bedroom
>"So, what are we going to do up here?"
>She still doesn't get it
This.
>You kiss her
>She breaks the kiss and giggles
>"Oh, wow, Anon. I had no idea. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't do it."
Why not?
>"I just...I don't know."
C'mon. I was looking forward to this.
>"Sorry. Hey, it's getting late."
>She's right
>You look outside to see the moon shining
>"You should probably go home."
I don't have one yet. May I stay here?
>"Actually, I'm sure my friend, Fluttershy, can take you. She's downstairs."
Alright.
>You feel guilty now
>You just made Pinkie feel awkward
>You shrug it off and go downstairs to look for Fluttershy
>Everyp0ny else has left and she's sitting there at a table by herself
Fluttershy?
>"Y-yes? Are you A-Anon?"
Affirmative. Were you looking for me?
>"Um. Yes. I'd like to get to know you since, um, you know, you're new. And an animal."
>She smiles
>Fluttershy has always been best, most adorable pony
>And this is Flutterrape, right?
>That means she's into you
>She wants your dick
>You are going to hit that like a freight train
I'd love to chat, but it's getting late. May I stay at your house?
>"Oh, of course."
>She brings you to her cottage
>"Where do humans usually sleep?"
May I sleep with you?
>"Uh, sure, if you want."
>You take all of your clothes off
>You're sure ponies don't mind the nudity
Man, I look sexy, don't I?
>"Um, I guess."
>She guesses?
>Hmph
Well, let's go get some shut eye.
>You both go upstairs and into bed
Goodnight, Fluttershy.
>"Goodnight, Anon."
>You pretend to fall asleep and then brush your cock against Fluttershy
>"Anon?"
Huh?
>"You're uh..."
>You look at your dick
Sorry. Goodnight.
>"Goodnight."
>You put your arm around her
>"Anon."
Sorry, I'll stop.
>Finally, you give up
>She eventually falls asleep
>It becomes midnight, and you're still awake
>A circle of fire forms in front of the bed
>The demon from earlier appears
What now?
>"I've come here because I forgot to tell you something. You can only stay here if the story fits the Flutterrape guidelines."
Flutterrape guidelines?
>"Yes. If, in this world, Fluttershy doesn't want to rape you, or if you want to have sex with her, you will be sent back to Earth."
But what if she doesn't want to?
>"Then I guess you'll have to find a way. Goodbye, mere mortal!"
>He disappears in a cloud of smoke
>The place stinks like semen now
>Well, this sucks
>There has to be a way to make her want to rape you
>You don't want to go back to Earth
>Or even worse
>Have this story posted in a different thread
>You don't know how you are going to do it, but you are going to think of it tomorrow
>You fall asleep

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