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Oneshots

By: Ordnung on Dec 8th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 24.59 KB  |  hits: 149  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You are Ordnung
  2. >Day Saturday on Earth
  3. >Wake up
  4. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  5. >Go downstairs
  6. >Many Anons from the Flutterrape threads are here
  7. H-hello guys...
  8. >Silence
  9. >One speaks up
  10. >"Hey..."
  11. >Knock on the door
  12. >Guess what?
  13. >It's yellow quiet!
  14. >"Hi, Ordnung."
  15. Hey
  16. >More silence
  17. >"Can I come in?"
  18. S-sure
  19. >She follows you in, seeing the other Anons
  20. >"So many Anons!"
  21. Um... Would you... like to cuddle with us?
  22. >"Uh... okay."
  23. >You bring in everybody for a big cuddle
  24. >It feels warm
  25. >"Hey, Ordnung?"
  26. Yeah?
  27. >"Where are all of the other writers?"
  28. Silly Fluttershy. They're all at the gay bathhouse.
  29.  
  30. >Day 1 more year closer to death in Equestria
  31. >Wake up
  32. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  33. >The rest of your morning goes by
  34. >That's strange
  35. >Fluttershy's usually here by now
  36. >Hear knock on the door
  37. >ohboyherewego.tiff
  38. >It's actually Twilight
  39. >Why is she here?
  40. >"Anon, I have some terrible news."
  41. Terrible news? What is it?
  42. >"It's what airs on TV, but that's not important right now. Fluttershy's dead!"
  43. >You gasp
  44. >She was a creep, but she didn't deserve to die
  45. >Later, you, Fluttershy's animals, and friends are at her funeral
  46. >Rarity walks up to you with a note and gives it to you
  47. >"Darling, Fluttershy said she wanted to give you this note after she died, and she wanted nop0ny else to read it. She loved you so much."
  48. >You open up the note
  49. >Read it
  50. >"Is necrophilia your fetish?"
  51. >...
  52. >Punch Rarity across the room
  53. >Throw Fluttershy's corpse into the river outside
  54. >Light the funeral house and the daycare center next to it on fire
  55. >Go home
  56. >Fucking Fluttershy
  57.  
  58. >Day fuck I can't even think of anything to put here in Equestria
  59. >Wake up
  60. >Fuck, what is the normal morning routine?
  61. >Go downstairs
  62. >What usually happens next in the story?
  63. >Hear a knock on the door
  64. >Now I'll never know what happens next...
  65. >Answer it
  66. >It's goddamn what's-her-face
  67. >"Anon, is amnesia your fetish?"
  68. I don't remember.
  69. >"D-does that mean-"
  70. Who are you?
  71. >"What?"
  72. Huh?
  73. >"When?"
  74. Why?
  75. >You two just stare at each other for hours
  76. >It's nightfall
  77. Hey, what's-your-face.
  78. >"Yes, talking monkey?"
  79. What should go after this part of the story?
  80. >"Well, I'm looking at previous stories in the thread and they all end in '>Fucking Fluttershy,' so...um...do we fuck?"
  81. That seems to be the only logical conclusion.
  82. >You two go upstairs in your bedroom
  83. >And here, the story ends, with you,
  84. >Fucking Fluttershy
  85.  
  86. >Day irritated eyes in Equestria
  87. >Wake up
  88. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  89. >Grab a bowl of Big-Mac-Os
  90. >No
  91. >Fuck that
  92. >You're making some goddamn pancakes
  93. >Knock knock
  94. Who's there?
  95. >"It's me, Fluttershy."
  96. Fluttershy who?
  97. >"Just please answer it, Anon"
  98. >You open the door
  99. >Fluttershy is equipped with some sort of backpack with a hose attached to it
  100. >It's labeled "Hydrochloric Acid"
  101. >She shoots you in the eyes with it
  102. >"So, are burning eyes yo-"
  103. AAAAAAHHHHHH
  104. AHHH IT'S IN MY EYES
  105. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
  106. >You are stumbling outside
  107. >Blinded
  108. >Still screaming
  109. >And you're flailing your arms
  110. >You smack Fluttershy to the ground
  111. >You start heading to P0nyville
  112. >To a construction site
  113. AAAAAAHHHHHH
  114. >You walk onto a girder
  115. >It's lifted up by a pulley as you walk on it
  116. >You walk onto the building being worked on
  117. >As you walk, a wrecking ball barely misses you
  118. AAAAHHHHHH
  119. >You walk into a tube
  120. >It turns and leads you to an elevator
  121. >You walk into the elevator as it takes you back to ground level
  122. >You've upset the building so much, it collapses
  123. >It lands on you
  124. >You are impaled by a girder
  125. >Fucking Fluttershy
  126.  
  127. >Day who the fuck would major in underwater basket weaving in Equestria
  128. >You are the laziest anon ever to exist
  129. >Wake up
  130. >Lie in bed for about 30 minutes before actually getting up
  131. >Shit on the floor
  132. >Fuck, the bathroom's too far away
  133. >Eat some slices of cheese for breakfast
  134. >That's weird, Fluttershy usually kno-
  135. >Hear a knock
  136. >There we go
  137. >Answer the door
  138. >No one
  139. >Hear the knock again
  140. >It's coming from your bathroom
  141. >Dafuq?
  142. >Your legs have had too much for the day
  143. >You take out your handy-dandy grappling hook
  144. >Grapple onto the bathroom door upstairs
  145. >Open it
  146. >Fluttershy's head is sticking out of your toilet
  147. >"Are you sick today, Anon? One of your warm, cute, and wonderful pieces of poop usually comes from your pipes and into my bedroom by now."
  148. I shit on the floor today.
  149. >"Okay, good. Can I have it?"
  150. Sure.
  151. >Fluttershy walks out of your toilet
  152. >Which reveals that she actually has a spider body with a big pony head
  153. >Spidershy slings her web and grabs your shit
  154. >"Thank you!"
  155. >You say nothing and flush that bitch down the toilet
  156. >Fucking Flutterweb
  157.  
  158. >Day Happy Happy Joy Joy in Equestria!
  159. >Wake up on the right side of the bed!
  160. >Oh joy, another beautiful day to spend with my friends!
  161. >You skip to the bathroom while whistling!
  162. >Make sure to scrub everywhere in the shower!
  163. >Brush your teeth because you don't want cavities!
  164. >You gargle your mouthwash while still humming!
  165. >Shave so you look nice and clean!
  166. >You hear a wondrous knock on the door!
  167. Oh, that must be my friend, Fluttershy!
  168. >Better get dressed!
  169. >How embarrassing to be naked at the door!
  170. >Your animal friends help dress you!
  171. >Just like in a Disney movie!
  172. >You moonwalk to the door in such a silly willy manner!
  173. Hi, Fluttershy, old buddy, old pal!
  174. >"Hi, Anon! Wanna play with me?"
  175. I'd absolutely, positively love to!
  176. >You two race each other to the middle of a field!
  177. >You won the race! You were the fastest!
  178. Haha! Better luck next time, Flutterwutter!
  179. >"I've been improving!"
  180. >You two grab both of each other's hooves/hands in such a lovely manner!
  181. >It's so sweet!
  182. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvhWVTwRnM
  183. >You two spin around in circles for hours!
  184. >Silly Billy Flutterwilly!
  185.  
  186. >Day Shit I need to eat breakfast instead of writing this in Equestria
  187. >Wake up
  188. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  189. >Get on computer
  190. >Start writing in the Flutterrape thread
  191. ">Day Shit I need to eat breakfast instead of writing this in Equestria..."
  192. >Fluttershy bursts through ceiling
  193. >"Anon, are recursive stories yo-"
  194. No
  195. >Continue writing story
  196. >Fucking Fluttershy
  197.  
  198. >Day Bad Joke in Equestria
  199. >Wake up
  200. >Yadda yadda yadda
  201. >Fluttershy breaks your door down
  202. >Walks up to you in the kitchen
  203. Fluttershy, what the fuck?
  204. >"I just came in here to ask you something."
  205. What?
  206. >"Is dendrophilia your fetish?"
  207. >Then all you hear is a laugh track so obnoxious, the Big Bang Theory would be jealous
  208. >You can hear clapping as the audience's sides are reaching maximum warp
  209. >Everyp0ny in Equestria can hear the laugh track
  210. >They're all covering their ears
  211. >"Make it stop! Make it stop!"
  212. >"Good heavens, what is that dreadful noise?"
  213. >All the glasses and windows break
  214. >Twilight comes in
  215. >"I'll stop it!"
  216. >She attempts a volume control spell, but it just sends her back flying conveniently into Celestia's throne room
  217. >"Celestia, help us!"
  218. >"I'm sorry; I cannot."
  219. >"Why not?"
  220. >Before Celestia can say anything, her face starts to melt and there is soon nothing left of her except her bones
  221. >The audience's sides have all grown and combined into a giant, interdimensional-travel-capable monster
  222. >The monster then proceeds to eat all of reality as we know it
  223. >There is nothing that exists but sides
  224. >Fucking Fluttershy
  225.  
  226. >Day Bronchitis in Equestria
  227. >You are lung
  228. >You don't wake up because you never sleep
  229. >Sleep is for the weak
  230. >It's still dark outside
  231. >You crawl out of the dumpster you were resting in
  232. >It had a bunch of rats you could eat for food
  233. >Shit was tasty
  234. >You even had one in your clutch right now
  235. >Well, the head, anyway
  236. >You add it to the rat head collection you hang behind the dumpster
  237. >Time to move
  238. >You muster up some air and proceed to fly your way to Fluttershy's house
  239. >You loved Fluttershy
  240. >Not for who she is, but because she tormented your master, Anon
  241. >What a bastard, always keeping you in his chest
  242. >You reach Fluttershy's cottage
  243. >Trying to decide which way to go in, you decide to go in through the chimney
  244. >Ho ho ho, motherfucker
  245. >While you're in the holiday mood, why not eat some cookies?
  246. >Plus, you're fucking hungry
  247. >You raid Fluttershy's fridge and eat all of her cookies
  248. >Fucking delicious
  249. >You go upstairs into Fluttershy's room
  250. >A lung's gotta please his woman
  251. >You crawl into her bed and make your way up her pussy
  252. >It's a tight squeeze, but you manage to sneak in there
  253. >Fluttershy moans in pleasure, but is still asleep
  254. >"Oh, Anon!"
  255. >Did she just say, "Anon?"
  256. >Bitch, I'm lung
  257. >Holy fuck, you're mad
  258. >You begin ripping her insides
  259. >You throw her reproductive system out her hole
  260. >She's still moaning in pleasure
  261. >"Aaahh!"
  262. >You eat her stomach, and pummel her kidneys
  263. >Then you decide to go Tasmanian Devil on her
  264. >You make a tornado inside her body, which kills her
  265. >Bitch
  266. >You crawl out of her mouth
  267. >Grab the nearest scythe
  268. >Cut her head off
  269. >Take it back to your dumpster to add to the rat head collection
  270. >Fucking Fluttershy
  271.  
  272. >Day What's Up in Equestria
  273. >Wake up
  274. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  275. >Eat breakfast
  276. >Daily knock on the door
  277. What, Fluttershy?
  278. >No answer
  279. Hm...
  280. >Open door
  281. >Nop0ny
  282. That's strange
  283. >Step outside
  284. >Take a deep breath
  285. >Get real high
  286. >Scream at the top of your lungs
  287. What's going on?!
  288. >Fluttershy pops out of a bush
  289. >"Are 4 Non Blondes your fetish?"
  290. No
  291. >Go back inside
  292. >Fucking Fluttershy
  293.  
  294. >Day The Termiraper in Equestria
  295. >You are Ordnung
  296. >You and Fluttershy are rapist partners for life
  297. >Ever since that whole "CMC rape" fiasco
  298. >Getting hot monkey dick and sweet pony ass
  299. >Wake up
  300. Morning, Flutters.
  301. >"Good morning, Ordnung."
  302. >You both do the morning routine
  303. >Together, at the same time
  304. >It was awesome
  305. >Shower sex!
  306. >Anyways, you both go downstairs after finishing and look at the calendar
  307. >"Who's next?"
  308. You know who it is.
  309. >You rip off yesterday's date (which was the CMC) to reveal...
  310. >picklehead42!
  311. >"Oh boy, that sounds like fun! Teehee."
  312. You bet.
  313. >"How are we going to get him?"
  314. I know.
  315. >"What?"
  316. It'll be a surprise.
  317. >"I like surprises."
  318. Me too, Flutters, me too.
  319. >You go to the fridge and grab [hiddenitem]
  320. >You place it in your backpack
  321. Let's go.
  322. >Later, you go to the Everfree Forest where picklehead usually hangs out
  323. >He said something about deforestation and building a pickle empire
  324. >Where is he?
  325. >You're walking in the forest for what seems like miles
  326. >The only sense of direction you and Fluttershy had was the smell of pickles
  327. >After a long trek, you reach picklehead weeping on the ground
  328. >He's holding a pickle in his hand and looks paranoid
  329. What do you think is wrong with him?
  330. >You whisper
  331. >"I don't know; let's find out."
  332. >You both walk up to picklehead
  333. Um...picklehe-
  334. >"HALT! Who goes there?"
  335. It's us, Ordnung and Fluttershy.
  336. >"Ordwho and Whattershy? I don't know you? Where is my pickle jar? I want my pickle jar!"
  337. >He's swinging his pickle at you
  338. >"Back, you crazy beasts! I know picklefu!"
  339. >He gains a fighting stance that would make Justin Bieber laugh
  340. >"What's picklef-"
  341. >"IT'S WHAT'S GOING TO GET MY PICKLE JAR BACK, THAT'S WHAT!"
  342. >He looks pissed now
  343. Picklehead, calm down. We'll help you find your pickle jar.
  344. >"You will?"
  345. >He raises his arms up in the air, as if thanking the heavens
  346. >"Oh, glorious day! Thank you kind sir and madam!"
  347. >He crawls towards you
  348. >He begins kissing your feet and Fluttershy's hooves
  349. On one condition.
  350. >He looks up at you
  351. >"What is it? Anything!"
  352. >You and Fluttershy give each other a look and smile.
  353. Picklehead...
  354. >"Yes?"
  355. >"We think it's about time you..."
  356. Went bananas!
  357. >You pull out a banana bunch
  358. >"Oh, no no no no no no no no..."
  359. >He's backing away
  360. >Fluttershy pounces on him and nails him to the ground
  361. >"Please, oh sweet Celestia, no! My one weakness!"
  362. Let's go apeshit.
  363. >You take bananas off the bunch one by one
  364. >Shoving each one into every orifice of picklehead
  365. >He has bananas sticking out of his hears
  366. >Two in his nostrils
  367. >A few in his mouth
  368. >And the rest up his virgin ass
  369. >"Mmmph! Mmmmmmmmmph!"
  370. >Tears are rolling down his cheeks as the bananas burn his body
  371. >His skin is steaming hot
  372. >"Ordnung, I think he's in heat."
  373. Hahaha. Good one.
  374. >"Haha."
  375. >You both begin licking picklehead's burning body
  376. >The bananas are too strong for him
  377. >Your saliva helps cool him down
  378. >You both take turns using the bananas as dildos
  379. >Fluttershy eventually gets on picklehead's body and starts shoving her tongue in his mouth
  380. >You begin having a cockfight with his penis using a banana
  381. >The rape goes on for quite a while during the night
  382. >Until eventually, picklehead is full of your semen and literally cannot take anymore
  383. >It's dripping out of his nose, mouth, and anus
  384. >He's just whimpering in horror
  385. >His body has turned all yellow, the color of a banana
  386. >It's going to take while for that to heal
  387. Hey, picklehead.
  388. >He just looks at you
  389. Your pickle jar is right behind you
  390. >And you were right
  391. >It has been there the whole time
  392. >He grabs the jar, still in shock
  393. >"Well, that was fun. Let's go home. Bye, picklehead!"
  394. Bye, picklehead!
  395. >You both wave and continue back home
  396. >It feels great knowing that you finally were
  397. >Fucking picklehead42
  398.  
  399. >Day The Cheapest Strategy in Equestria
  400. >Wake up
  401. >Enter bathroom
  402. >Pointed stones dug into Anon!
  403. >Look at your health bar
  404. >You lose 1/8 of your health
  405. Ouch! What the fuck?!
  406. >Fluttershy's head bursts through your bathroom floor, so her head is just sticking out of a hole in it.
  407. >Pointed stones dug into Fluttershy!
  408. >She loses 1/4 of her health
  409. >"Yipe!"
  410. What is it now, Fluttershy?
  411. >"I was just wondering if Stealth Rock was your fetish."
  412. No! Now, get rid of it!
  413. >"Whatever you want, babe."
  414. >Fluttershy begins rapidly spinning in your bathroom, getting rid of those damned rocks
  415. Great, now get out.
  416. >"Wanna trade fluids?"
  417. Out.
  418. >"I have a shiny flank."
  419. >She begins to shake her butt
  420. Now.
  421. >"Alright, same time tomorrow?"
  422. >You don't answer
  423. >She smiles
  424. >"Buh-bye, honey."
  425. >She leaves
  426. >Fucking Smogonshy
  427.  
  428. >Day Hey Cousin in Equestria
  429. >Wake up
  430. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  431. >Eat breakfast
  432. >Go outside and steal the nearest car
  433. >"Hey!"
  434. >Throw that bitch out
  435. >Run over as many ponies as you can
  436. >4 stars and police are after you
  437. Shit.
  438. >While driving away, you crash into town hall
  439. Fuck!
  440. >Jump out of the car
  441. >It catches on fire and explodes
  442. >Cops are still after you
  443. >Bring out your phone
  444. >Go to the cheats menu
  445. >Get shot by a cop
  446. Fucking hell.
  447. >Put away your phone
  448. >Duck behind car
  449. >Quack quack
  450. >Bring out phone again and go to cheats
  451. >Delete your 4 stars
  452. >The cops suddenly get amnesia
  453. >"Why are we chasing this guy again?"
  454. >"I don't know; let's get some donuts."
  455. >They all leave
  456. >Someone calls your phone
  457. >Answer it
  458. >"H-hey, Anon! W-want to go b-bowling?"
  459. NO, FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T WANT TO GO FUCKING BOWLING!
  460. >"So is bowling not your fetish?"
  461. >Hang up
  462. >Fuck some slut on the street instead of
  463. >Fucking Romanshy
  464.  
  465. >Day Shit Bang Theory in Equestria
  466. >Wake up
  467. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  468. >Sit in your spot on the couch
  469. >You're too autistic to sit anywhere else
  470. >Start eating french toast
  471. >Laugh track
  472. >Fluttershy walks in the door
  473. >Laugh track
  474. >"Anon, how do I internet?"
  475. Delte syst 32
  476. >"What?"
  477. Bazspinga
  478. >Laugh track
  479. >"What's your wifi code? lol Im a nurd cuz I no wat wifi be."
  480. Check yur fone.
  481. >"What's a fone?"
  482. Bizberger
  483. >Laugh track
  484. --------------------
  485. >You and Fluttershy stare in disgust at the abomination on the TV
  486. Fluttershy, what the fuck did we just make?
  487. >"I don't know, but is making bad TV shows with your lover your fetish?"
  488. No. Get out.
  489. >You scruff Fluttershy and throw her out the window
  490. >Then you take the disc out of the CD player and break it in half
  491. >Fucking Fluttershy
  492.  
  493. >Day Electric Soldier Fluttergon in Equestria
  494. >Wake up
  495. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  496. >No knock on the door
  497. >But Fluttershy bursts out of the socket in the wall
  498. >"Hi, Anon!"
  499. What the fuck?
  500. >"I know your fetish. I'm sure of it."
  501. >She flashes her marehood to reveal a light socket has been placed on it
  502. >There are wires connecting to it
  503. >"Come here, honey bun."
  504. >She grabs you by your head and brings you down to her marehood
  505. >She forces you to lick the light socket
  506. HHHHBBBTHTBHT
  507. >You are shocked by the electricity
  508. >Your body flashes and you can see your bones
  509. >The shock stops and you're covered in soot
  510. >"Are licking light sockets your fetish?"
  511. >You get up and gather yourself
  512. >Then you rub your feet on the carpet
  513. >After you gather up enough static electricity, you poke Fluttershy, giving her a shock
  514. >"Yipe!"
  515. >She jumps and goes through the ceiling
  516. >After that, she is sent flying off into the distance
  517. >"Fluttershy is blasting off again!"
  518. >Ding
  519. >Fucking Fluttershy
  520.  
  521. >Day interrupted normal routine in Equestria
  522. >Wake up
  523. >Shit, Shower...
  524. >The water stops for a second
  525. What the...
  526. >Maybe the pipe is clogged
  527. >A yellow pegasus bursts from the pipe, breaking your shower and landing on top of you
  528. >Fluttershy
  529. >She gets up
  530. >"Is showering with your lover your fetish, Anon?"
  531. No.
  532. >You take the cover off the drain and shove Fluttershy down the pipeline
  533. >Finish your shower
  534. >Shave
  535. >Fucking Fluttershy
  536.  
  537. >"He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three!"
  538. "Well.. Okay then."
  539. >"WHHHAT, is your name?"
  540. "Anon the Human."
  541. >"WHHHHAT, is your quest?"
  542. "To get away from Ponyville."
  543. >"WHHHAT, is your fetish?"
  544. >The old man is actually Fluttershy.
  545. "What do you mean, an African or European fetish?"
  546. >"Oh, uh, gee...I don't knoowAAAAAAaaa"
  547. >She dies a horrible death and you aren't
  548. >Fucking Fluttershy
  549.  
  550. >;aoiesf
  551. >aiSERVGser
  552. >z,sERGsvergsss
  553. >ArewvsERgtsE
  554. >34dRLKfa
  555. a;oijfe3-0
  556. >fap'jfFf
  557. >AEFfiojsrng4
  558. aoiher4o98
  559. >Wkf[a
  560. >Fuoviaej Fjaea
  561.  
  562. ------------------------------
  563.  
  564. Fluttershy.
  565. >"Yes?"
  566. Why are you on my computer?
  567. >"I thought typing was your fetish."
  568. No.
  569. >"Oh well, it was too hard anyway. Hopefully you are too."
  570. Not a chance.
  571. >"Same time tomorrow?"
  572. Same time tomorrow.
  573. >She leaves your house
  574. >Fucking Fluttershy
  575.  
  576. >Day Flutterape in Equestria
  577. >Wake up
  578. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  579. >Eat breakfast
  580. >A giant, hairy animal bursts through your door
  581. >Oh wait, it's just Fluttershy in a costume
  582. Let me guess: you think apes are my fetish, right?
  583. >Fluttershy squeaks
  584. >"...yes."
  585. It's not. Go get that stupid costume off and get a life.
  586. >Fluttershy turns around
  587. >"Sorry, guys."
  588. >A bunch of Fluttershy's ape friends say, "Aw..."
  589. >They all leave in disappointment
  590. >Slam the door
  591. >Fucking Fluttershy
  592.  
  593. >Day December 31st on Earth
  594. >You are partying with your friends for the New Year
  595. >Your high school crush walks up to you
  596. >"Hey, Anon."
  597. H-h-h-h...
  598. >C'mon man, get it together
  599. Sup?
  600. >You put on your best cocky face
  601. >She laughs
  602. >"Oh, Anon, you are so awkward. I kind of always liked that in you."
  603. >You talk for a while
  604. >She seems to be interested in you
  605. >it'shappening.gif
  606. >You spot Fluttershy
  607. >She's walking up to you
  608. >Goddammit
  609. >Hopefully, she doesn't ruin your chances
  610. >"Hey, boyfriend!"
  611. I'm not your-
  612. >"Boyfriend?"
  613. >"Of course! We love each other so much!"
  614. >Fluttershy hugs you
  615. No, we're-
  616. >"Wow, Anon. I didn't know you two were dating. You make a cute couple."
  617. But we're not-
  618. >"He is cute, isn't he?"
  619. >"You're one lucky mare. Sorry to bother you, Anon. See ya."
  620. You weren't bothering me. Please come ba-
  621. >You hear the TV in the background
  622. >"Five, Four, Three, Two, One!"
  623. >The New Year starts and Fluttershy is smothering you with kisses
  624. >And here you are, cockblocked by
  625. >Fucking Fluttershy
  626.  
  627. >Day Selene in Equestria
  628. >Wake up
  629. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  630. >Open the fridge
  631. >Fluttershy is in it
  632. >"This time, you're mine!"
  633. >She tackles you to the ground
  634. Get off!
  635. >"You won't be saying that after I prove to you I know your fetish!"
  636. What is it this time?
  637. >"Oh, I was just wondering if not finishing stories were your fetish."
  638.  
  639. >Day Frustration in Equestria
  640. >You are the AVGN
  641. >Wake up
  642. >Shit in the toilet, shit in the shower, shit in the fucking sink
  643. >It's all worthless garbage that bitch Fluttershy gave you anyway
  644. >Your shower didn't get you clean enough
  645. >The water's so fucking filthy
  646. >You might as well have bathed in horse semen that's been digested by every mare in p0nyville twice
  647. >You cut yourself when shaving
  648. >That's real nice, they couldn't make a smooth razor?
  649. >Why is it made out of wood?
  650. >Who in the right mind would do such a thing?
  651. >Anyway, you go down to eat breakfast, but the only thing have to eat is some mashed potatoes and apple sauce
  652. >What are you supposed to do with these, shove the apple sauce up your ass and wait for Applejack to take a dildo to fish it out?
  653. >You eat your apple sauce and mashed potatoes, but Flutterslut interrupts your meal with a knock on the door
  654. >You open the door and greet her
  655. What is it now?! You couldn't do something different every day? This is the same old shit over and over again! It gets too repetitive! It's like someone shoving your dick in a pencil sharpener constantly every day; it's painful and it fucking sucks! At least be creative!
  656. >"S-sorry, I was just wondering if bad games were your fetish..."
  657. >Your face twists and turns, failing to truly express your anger
  658. AAAARRRRGGGHHHH
  659. >You get your fucking Power Glove and return to the door
  660. You wanna know what I think about your shitty games, Fluttershy? Well, this is what I think of them!
  661. >You go into the woods and find the nearest bear
  662. >You knock the bear out in one hit, what a goddamn pussy
  663. >A voice out of nowhere says, "FINISH HIM!"
  664. >Your nerd rage goes up to 11 and you tear out his heart right out of his chest
  665. >Yeah, that's the stuff
  666. >Ripping a bear's heart out after you beat him up
  667. Now go back to where you came from.
  668. >"O-ok-k-kay..."
  669. >She runs off
  670. >Fucking Fred Fuchs
  671.  
  672. >I can't take a break
  673. >I wish the world weren't so rapid in development
  674. >Stop and take rest for one day, get left in the dust
  675. >Everything goes by too fast
  676. >No time for a breather
  677. >I try to slow it down, but only get cajoled for doing so
  678. >Keep it up, and the world will get rid of me
  679. >Delete my existence
  680. >For we are a society of the here and now
  681. >Not of the future, and everything it yields
  682. >I try to preach about the journey, and not the result
  683. >But nobody ever listens
  684.  
  685. ------------------------------------
  686.  
  687. >You are in your bedroom on Earth, crying your eyes out
  688. >There's no time to stop and look at the scenery
  689. >Only time for more work
  690. >Forced into a harsh reality
  691. >You wish you could escape it all
  692. >And live in fantasy
  693. >"H-hey, Anon..."
  694. >The answer to your prayers is beside your bed with a dark hoodie that covers her entire body except for the face
  695. Hi, Fluttershy.
  696. >"Why do you keep rejecting me, Anon?"
  697. You know we could never have a relationship. You're a pony, and I'm a human. Plus, you're not real.
  698. >"Don't be like that, please. Nothing can stop love."
  699. Fluttershy, you're the only one who has ever cared about me. I wish I could.
  700. >"Now, you can. Follow me."
  701. >She extends her hoof, only to reveal that it is only a bone
  702. >"I want you to have a chance to see a place where reality cannot harm you. A place of peace of mind and sanctuary. I love you, Anon. I cannot stand to see you in this place."
  703. >Your hand is drawn to her bony hoof as if it had a mind of its own
  704. >You grab it
  705. >"You won't regret it."
  706. >A cloud of smoke appears behind her and you both walk into it
  707. >Finally, you rest in peace
  708.  
  709. ------------------------------------
  710.  
  711. >The police and ambulance are at your house
  712. >A cop turns to the TV camera
  713. >"We believe it was suicide, but don't be so sure about it. There could be a deranged killer on the loose. Make sure to lock your doors windows at night."
  714. >Doctors are taking your corpse to the ambulance
  715. >One doctor is talking to a policeman
  716. >"So, how is this guys funeral going to go? He has no immediate family (they're all dead), no siblings, no friends, and the person he knows best is his boss."
  717. >"What a loner. Let's just bury him and call it a day."
  718.  
  719. ------------------------------------
  720.  
  721. >Day 1 in Equestria
  722. >Wake up
  723. >Shit, Shower, Shave
  724. >You had planned a date with Fluttershy this evening, so you spruce yourself up in your nicest suit
  725. >Rarity made it for you
  726. >Gotta smell nice for the lady
  727. >You put on your nicest-smelling cologne
  728. >You straighten your tie
  729. Ah, I hope this goes well.
  730. >You go downstairs and open the door
  731. >Fluttershy has her hoof up
  732. >Apparently, you caught her right before she was going to knock
  733. >She looks really beautiful, too
  734. >Her hair is tied up, diamond earrings hang on her ear, and a black dress shrouds her
  735. >"Oh, uh, hi!"
  736. Anxious?
  737. >"Oh, I just couldn't wait! Come on!"
  738. >She grabs your hand and runs, dragging you, to the restaurant
  739. >The date goes very well
  740. >It's the end of the night, and you walk Fluttershy to her cottage
  741. Hey, that was fun.
  742. >"I thought so too."
  743. >Your smile extends and you blush
  744. So, I guess I'd better get going now. Er, unless it's okay for me to come inside, Fluttershy.
  745. >She kisses you on the cheek
  746. >"Come in."
  747. >She brings you up to her bed, where you spend the rest of the night
  748. >Fucking Fluttershy