Title:           The Reason
Author:          Oracle
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Ps2iB0qD
First Edit:      Wednesday 8th of August 2012 07:14:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 8th of August 2012 07:14:33 PM CDT

>Be fucking bitter.
>Skip the backstory, the people aren't here for backstory, they are here for one thing and one thing only!
>Fluffies!
>You've brought home a new fluffy pony for yourself!
>Well, actually, it's slightly used.
>As in it's been fucked before.
>Just like your Ex Girlfriend.
>ZING!
>Anywho, she came with a trio of foals.
>She's naturally adorable, suffering stray who asked for help and food and blah blah blah.
>Hell, let's make her a pagasi with red fluff and a cream white mane and big soulful brown eyes.
>Fucking soulful brown eyes.  NEVER A-FUCKING-GAIN.
>"Whea dis pwace?"
"This is your new home, and your name is Nicole."
>"Fwuffy name Nicow? Nicow wuv name!"
"Yes. You are Nicole."
>"An' yuu Nicow daddeh?"
>Deep cleansing breath.
>Punt the whore in her stomach.
>The lightweight fluffy pony tumbles, end over end, wailing in pain.
>"Owieowieowie..." sniffling "Wai huwt Nicow?"
>The foals, previously clinging to their mother's back, were obviously thrown off by your cruel blow to their mother's midsection, and now they cry.
>Nicole gasps "Babbehs! Mummeh wuv babbeh!" She wriggles, struggling, working her way towards self-righting.
>The foals, to their credit, are upright and mobile, crawling towards their mother.
"You love your babies more than ME? You don't even know who their FATHER was!"
>"Daddeh?" Nicole asks, confused.
"I'M NOT THEIR FATHER YOU WHORE."
>The fluffy mother, and her foals all shit themselves in terror.
>And the smell is just as disgusting as advertised.
>"Babbehs! Mummeh saf' babbehs!"
>Hey, she's actually putting on a good turn of speed.
>For a fluffy pony.
>You grab up the foals quickly, before "Nicole" can get to them.
"I don't think you love ME enough you selfish CUNT."
>You squeeze the foals, hard enough to make them shit, again, but this time you aim them towards the mare, she winces away from the fecal assault.
"You are a BAD FLUFFY"
>Click.
>"Nuuuu!"
"It's time for a Foalgarita!"
>You wrench the lid off the blender and drop the foals in one at a time.
"One baby!"
>"Owwies!"
"Two Babies!"
>"Wan Mummeh!"
"THREE BABIES!"
>This one is just making a kind of random sobbing noise and groaning, whatever.
>"NUUUU!!! Nuu huwt babbehs!"
"What's that? You think you can Tell me what to DO? You selfish CUN-"
>"Dude, what are you screaming about?"
"-... Uh, Oh, uh, hey, Greg."
>"What's going on here, are you having another 'episode', like that time on X-Box?"
"What, uh, no, wait, I gotta do-"
>"Pweese nuu huwtie bebbeh! Nicow nuu bad fwuffy!"
>"You brought a fluffy pony into the house... and named it Nicole."
"Well, I mean..."
>"Dude, this isn't healthy. I mean, bro, I might not be exactly a Doctor Phil, dude, or even a Doc Oz, but, like, yeah, naming a pet after the girl that just broke your heart? You've got some issues here."
"It's not like that, I mean, wait, just let me finish this, okay?"
>Jam your finger on the "Ice crusher" button.
>"Nuuuuu!!!!"
>Jam it hard.
>"-uuuu!!!"
>Again.
>-uuuuuuu!!"
>...
>"-uuuu!"
>and again.
>"-uuu? Babbehs stiww deh?"
>Greg grabs your arm.
"Let the fuckin' go of me!"
>"Dude, you need hel-"
>Elbow Greg in the face.
>Oh wait, forgot, he actually has muscles.
>Just Dudebro muscles, but-
>Okay, that's an arm lock.
>CRASH!
>"Ahhhh! Hoomen meanies!"
>THUD.
"Wai- Wait! Dude! Let go of me!"
>"Hup!"
"GACKT!"
>"Bro, I hate to have to do this to you, but I'm not letting you out of this wrestling hold until you calm down."
"Lehmmeh guuh!"
>Punch ineffectively at his kidney with my free arm!
>That aught to teach him!
>Yeah that...
>aught...
>Why...
>grey...
>...
>"Okay, you've calmed down."
>Greg releases you!
>A pity you're not conscious at the moment.
>Also, the table is slightly too close.
>THOK
>Skreeeep-
>THUD.
>"... Oh shit, Bro... you okay bro?"
>"Hewp Fwuffy pwease?"
>"Oh, yeah, sure little... sis? Yeah, these are yours."
>Greg's a good guy, he means well.
>He gives the foals back to their mother.
>"Fank yuu... Nicow wuv yuu, New daddeh?"
>"Oh, sorry little sis, I'm not your daddy... but I'll take you to this nice shelter place I volunteer, you and your foals can be safe there. I promise. Girls there are totally cool."
"Mrrrphh..."
>"C'mon, I gotta talk to my bro here. He's taking a breakup a little hard. Got some anger issues. We can work it out though, totally cool Bro when his head's on straight."
>"Otay... Bai Daddeh! Nicow nuu unnastan wha Nicow feew bou' yuu, buh Nicow nuu wike deh game yuu pway."
"Goramn it... Did I just black out?"
>"Nah dude, I put you in a chokehold and you, uhh, choked. You might also have a concussion or something. Wanna ice pack?"
"Yeah, that would be good."
>A chilled blue ice-chest cooler is proffered to you wrapped in a towel, which you graciously accept.
>Several seconds of silence pass, greg gets out a beer, and slumps against the kitchen counter, across from you.
>"She really hurt you that badly huh?"
"Damnit Greg, I don't want to talk about it."
>"I'm just saying, Bro, that it takes some kinda pain in a guy to make him want to torture his ex-girlfriend, even if it is in effigy. But I've felt that way before. Hell, I think every man has. Having your heart broken by a psycho hose-beast is part of the game."
>You breathe in.
>You breathe out.
"Why didn't the fucking blender work?"
>"Dude. Wrong place to go with your thoughts."
"I know... okay, sorry. It's just... I'd like something here. So, why didn't it work?"
>A beat passes.
>"Didja turn it on?"