Title:           Educated Fluffies Pt 1.
Author:          Oracle
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ZQ8u6acK
First Edit:      Tuesday 5th of June 2012 04:19:48 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 5th of June 2012 04:19:48 PM CDT

>First day of the last semester of College
>Only have one non-elective class left, and when you pass this, you'll get your degrees in both education and biology.
>Just you and five other students.
>Damn, these classes really weed out the people with no dedication.
>The professor takes the stand.
>"Welcome, students, I'd like to start with this years final project. It is worth 77% of your final grade."
>He gently places a pet carrier up on the desk, and unhinges the door.
>"You can come out, Bonnie."
>A peach-colored fluffy pony, with pink mane carefully picks her way out. "Daddy? Whe' Bawnie?"
>"You're in my classroom Bonnie. Say hello to my students."
>She gasps, and turns toward the class. "New fwiends! Hewwo stewn'ts!"
>Positively pinging with joy.
>"Students, meet your final project."
>Ohshit.
>Luckily, it's another dumbass who decides to ask the obvious question.
>"Do we have to raise a fluffy pony, like this was some sack of flour and it's middle school sex-ed all over again?"
>Collective silence, and staring at the dumbass.
>"What? You guys didn't do the thing where students have to work together to raise a baby, where the baby is proxied out to a sack of flour or baby doll, or an egg or something?"
>The professor breaks the collective shunning.
>"It's similar, but also much more complicated. Bonnie, what is one plus one?"
>The fluffy's ears jolt upwards "Tu!"
>"and can you recite your Alphabet?"
>The orange/yellow ball of fur sits up on it's hind legs and starts with a singsong voice. "Aye Bee See Dee Hee Eff Jeee..."
>"Very good Bonnie, keep reciting it while I tell my students what comes next."
>"Eich Aye Chay Cay..." deep breath "Ellemmennohpeee...."
>"Your objective, my fair students, is to come with me down to the local fluffy pony shelter, and acquire any fluffy pony of your choosing."
>The professor starts passing out big thick packets. Binder-clipped, not stapled.
>"You must then create a three-month lesson plan detailed for said fluffy pony, in order to educate it enough to pass a standardized kindergarten exit exam."
>"... Wai an' tzeeee! Nao Bawnie no Fwuffy's Aye Bee Seees...."
>"Very good Bonnie! Have a treat!"
>"Yay! Nummies!"
>a tiny treat is dispensed, the pony noms it happily.
>"If you complete exactly to the requirements listed, you will get a "D". Passing grade. Your final grade ultimately depends on the performance of your fluffy on it's exit exam."
>You raise your hand, as a mere formality
>"So, to preserve my Grade point average, I have to train a fluffy to pass a kindergarten exit exam completely, will this be a written exam?"
>The professor chuckles. "No, I'm willing to forgive you if your fluffies can't hold a pencil. But fluffies should at least be able to identify words on a page, colors, shapes, count, perform basic math and spelling. Speaking of, Bonnie?"
>Bonnie looks up. "Yef Daddy?"
>"Spell "Circle".
>"See, Aye, Are..."
>The fluffy stalls, and panics slightly.
>"....kayy? Ell yee?"
>The class chuckles.
>He pats her head. "Close, it's actually C-I-R-C-L-E."
>Bonnie mopes. "Sowwy Daddy."
>"It's Alright Bonnie. Next time. You did good today."
>"Bawnie Gud Fwuffy?"
>"Yes Bonnie, very good fluffy. Now say good-bye to the class."
>"Go' bai cwass!" She wobbles over into her carrier, chirping happily.
>"Anyone who is thinking about dropping this class, walk out now."
>A third of the class leaves.
>Which, if you remember the start of the story, is like, two students.
>NotThatImpressive.gif
>You and three other students pack up the text book, laptops, assorted things that every student carries one way or another, and head out wit the Professor.
---
>Selection, selection... selection is very, very, very important.
>A pregnant mare will have other things on her mind instead of learning.
>A newborn will be SHITTONS of work, just training it to poop in a box.
>But you get a higher grade for going over and above the expected requirements.
>Maybe some pre-screening?
"Hey Fluffy, how many friends do you have in there?"
>"Hoomen tak t' Fwuffy? Pick Fwuffy! Fwuffy gud Fwuffy! Fwuffy wan' wuv yu!"
>Every fluffy in the entire place, this far, has displayed roughly... hell with it... absolutely identical levels of conversational skills.
>Oh look, the other three have all grabbed their fluffy ponies.
>The Other Guy took a little terracotta-colored earth fluffy, and it cradling it protectively.
>The Girl Who Won't Talk To You took a yellow pegasis, she's holding it like a teddy bear.
>The Girl Who You'll Never Get The Name Of just grabbed the first fluffy she saw, and left right away.
>You and the professor are eventually left alone.
"So, this is doable, right? I mean, you're not tricking us with an impossible final, like my buddy over in CompSci who graduated last semester... Being told to write a program that would consume 100% of a system's resources and leave it completely useless for anyone else..."
>He chuckles. "I've had bonnie for a year now. She can be a handfull, but i assure you, everything you saw today was taught to her over the course of three months. But there was quite a lot of help."
"Spill it, doc."
>"Well, The truth is, Fluffies, like children, learn best through peer reinforcement."
>Obligingly, you wait for him to continue telling you how to get an A in this class.
>"And that's all I'm saying. Nice of you to ask though. You'd be amazed how few students ever question the possibility of the assignment."
>He ambles out of the adoption area.
>You stare blankly at the softly bouncing mass of fluffies, all clamoring for your affection and attention.
>Peer reinforcement. Peer reinforcement.
>Finally, you call over the attendant.
"I'll take these six."