Normal Norman - Normality is Heretical #1

>Be Imperial Guardsman Norman

>Just another number in the Canterlot 103rd Regiment

>My stupid mouth, plus the actions of one particular sanctioned psyker, has me suspect of Chaos worship, plus xenophilia

>THANKS PURPLE

>At this point, I'm just glad I haven't gotten BLAM'd

>Yet...

>Not that that will matter in the next couple of minutes, seeing as fucking orks have part of the regiment trapped in a canyon

>"The xenos come for us all, darlings! Give your worst to those uncouth ruffians and show them the might of the Imperium!" - said the most beautiful being I'd seen in my pathetic life

>My commissar...

>As the ork assault approached, I jumped behind Red's sandbag as instructed, ready to help defend his position

>His heavy bolter was a good incentive to do so as well

>"Red."

>"Hm?" - he replied

>"If we don't make, I just want you to know, it's been a pleasure killing xenos with you." - I said

>"Eeyup."

>In an instant, the air was filled with laser fire and heavy ordnance being targeted at the green horde

>Not that it did anything to stop their momentum, as they started overwhelming our positions, one after the other

>Things became even more dire as Red began firing on what had a second earlier been Orange's position

>Last thing I saw before turning away was her, beating down a number of greenskins with the butt of her lasgun

>As a "killa kan" closed in on us, I knew our time was up

>Goodbye my dear Commissar Aryan Beauty

>Atleast you didn't BLAM me

>The world suddenly started to spin as a tremendous shockwave knocked me to the ground

>Getting up, I saw a Banblade where the Kan had been a second ago, apparently having dropped from the canyon's cliffside

>"BRADICAL!" - came over the vox

>"THE BRADBLADE IS HERE TO DELIVER TEN BARRELS OF PAIN! ALL GUARDSMEN, FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!"

>On Holy Terra, high up in the Imperial Palace on the Himalaya's, sitting upon the Golden Throne, the decaying form of the Emperor cringed