- "Wh-what?"
- >Yup, you just called Rainbow Dash a bitch.
- >You're sick of her shit.
- >Always picking on you.
- >Insulting you.
- >Always reminding you how you're not good enough.
- >That you're the definition of uncool.
- >...
- >She looks shocked.
- >Y'know, for the brash and unbridled cunt that she comes off as, you'd expect her to probably raise her hand at you.
- >You take a step back for safety.
- >Never know when she's gonna snap out of her state of shock and slap your face and shit down your neck.
- >...
- >But, she's not moving.
- >Rainbow Dash?
- "Y-you really think that about me?"
- >She's... crying?
- >Yep, that's water.
- >But not just water.
- >Salty water... from a c-c-cun...
- >Cunt?
- >Wow, you can't even bring yourself to call her that anymore.
- >Maybe you're the bitch.
- >You reach a hand out to Rainbow Dash but she backs away.
- >Looking at you with those betrayed magenta eyes.
- >She blinks to squash away a tear.
- >No, Anon... don't feel guilty.
- >Remember the time she pulled your pants down during gym?
- >And that other time she stole your Funyuns?
- >Unforgivable.
- "I... I thought you were my friend!"
- >lol wat
- >implying friend
- >Well... what's a friend?
- >Someone who you spend a bunch of time with.
- >But is Rainbow your friend?
- >All she does is tease you.
- >And bother you.
- >And yeah... you meant what you said.
- >Rainbow Dash is a bitch.
- "I never want to see your face again!"
- >She turns away from you, grumbling, before she flies away.
- >Good! She's gone.
- >No more criticism.
- >No more loud noises.
- >No more racist jokes.
- >...
- >Well, maybe keep the racist jokes.
- >Nigga's gotta laugh somehow, naw' mean?
- >But yeah! No more Rainbow Dash!
- >Finally.
- >That bully bitch is out of your life, and you're a free man, Anon!
- >You head into town as you look around.
- >...
- >Looks like OPtimistic didn't think this plot through.
- >Uh...
- >Shit.
- >So many people.
- >But none of 'em even bother to talk to you.
- >I mean, there's some people you've met before, but nobody worth talking to.
- >You were never really close to anyone.
- >Didn't speak much to Rainbow's friends.
- >It's... awfully lonely.
- >But you've always kept to yourself! Why are you being such a pussy now?
- >It's because you're truly alone.
- >And you just told the one person who actually gives you an iota of attention to fuck off.
- >...
- >But you don't care if she's a bitch.
- >She's YOUR bitch.
- >Er, well... I mean...
- >She's your friend, but she's still a bitch.
- >You sigh and look around.
- >Now if you were a Rainbow Bitch, where would you fuck off to?
- >Library? Nah, that's for nerds.
- >Nursery? Nah, not in the mood for peace lilies.
- >What are you thinking...
- >Pub?
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO4C3dMTjc4
- >You and Dash used to drink there all the time.
- >Well, at least, not together.
- >But you recall her being a rowdy, funloving drunk.
- >And... if that wasn't the best thing you saw every weekend at night time, you weren't spending your weekends right.
- >You might as well check there.
- >The pub is as dimly lit as ever.
- >You open the door and your pupils adjust from the slightly brighter outdoors.
- >How hard can it be to spot her colorful ass?
- >Er, well... not her ass. She doesn't really have much of one.
- >You head up to the counter, and greet the tartan-clad bartender.
- "Oi, it's a bit erleh fer you ta 'ave a drink now, iznit?"
- >I uh...
- >Scottish people sound like that, right?
- >You mention to the barkeep that you were looking for a girl.
- "Yeh just mest 'er. Came in grumblin' about somethin' but I wasn't payin' her any mind. But she kept ramblin' on. Rate bitch, now isn't sheh."
- >Yeah... a bitch.
- >The sound of the word makes you regret what you had said.
- >Does he have any idea where she had went?
- >The bartender lets out a very Scottish "no" before returning to polishing a mug.
- >Fucking Scots. Never know nuffin'.
- >You head out the door to scout for yourself.
- >Where could she be?
- >...
- >Goodness, you can't find her anywhere!
- >Not at the gym.
- >Not at the park.
- >inb4 I write another fruitless search attempt.
- >You guys don't care, right? You just want a happy ending and a happy ending, if you know what I mean.
- >You mentally call the search off.
- >This is exhausting.
- >How can you not have found her after searching so hard?
- >Where did she go?
- >You crash on a nearby bench to ponder about your mistakes, while the trickling sounds of a fountain provide you with a decent soundtrack.
- >None of this woulda happened if you didn't call her a bitch.
- >But.. she was annoying.
- >Always tackling you.
- >Holding onto your arms.
- >Dragging you everywhere.
- >Tickling you.
- >...
- >Where is sh-
- "Anon? Mind if we... talk?"
- >A familiar voice rings out from behind.
- >The sun's about set by now, and the streets are almost empty.
- >And the last thing you need is someone behind you.
- >You call out to the darkness and turn around.
- >Bright-eyed.
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NGaUZcT9Lw
- Wow, this started as a shitty reference, but sure... this is playing in the background.
- >R-rainbow Dash?
- "Y-yeah... hey."
- >Rainbow walks around the bench and quietly sits next to you.
- >It's deathly quiet, save for the 1980's music playing in the background.
- >You open your mouth to apologize for being so mean, but a hand stops you.
- "No, Anon... I'm sorry."
- >Sorry for what?
- "Y-you're right... I've been acting weird lately. I know I haven't been the best of friends..."
- >Something happen to her?
- "I-I don't know... I... feel different. It's scary."
- >She sighs and looks back at you.
- "It's weird... I only act different around you. It's like..."
- >It's like what?
- >Your heart starts to beat a bit faster.
- >Where the hell is she going with this?
- "I... don't know what I'm feeling right now, Anon."
- >She seems really tense, and struggles to put words together.
- "One moment... I just want to be your friend, and the next I just want you to go away. You confuse me so much."
- >You probably could say the same about her.
- >What kind of friend steals Funyuns anyway?
- "I just... I don't know what's wrong with me, Anon... I just want you to see the real me. Why can't I just... "
- >You put your arm around her and pull her in tighter.
- >She squirms at first, but then folds to the inevitable coziness.
- "A-Anon... What are you...?"
- >You rest her cheek against the top of her head.
- >And just stay there.
- >The slightly cool spring breeze blows past, pushing the slight scent of her hair towards you.
- >It brings you to smile.
- >You pull your head away as Rainbow Dash looks up at you, closing her eyes slightly and leaning in.
- >You smile and move your face closer as well.
- >This is it...
- >Finally.
- >As soon as you're close enough, and your lips almost make contact...
- >You whisper.
- You're a still a bitch.
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Oneshot: Rainbow Bitch
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