Canter U: Day 46 Thursday

>Alarm’s ringing.

>You snooze it.

>Alarm’s still ringing…

>You snooze it again.

>How many days have started like this?

>But you want to go back to dreamland!

>Where the weather is nice.

>And the food’s good.

>And the friends are fine.

>And da girls cum easy and da druugs come cheap-

>HEYYYYY YEY I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR.

>Well, you’re going to get skinny if you don’t eat.

>But… you’re still up pretty early.

>You’ve got 3 hours until your test starts.

 

A. shower

B. get some breakfast

C. continue sleeping.

D. Cram/study

 

>Shower first…. then breakfast.

>Unless you wanna take your breakfast in the shower.

>Pff, bad idea.

>Don’t want no soggy shit in here.

>You can brush your teeth though!

>Shower and brush.

>Just make sure you’re brushing your teeth ONLY.

>Scrubbing yourself with a toothbrush is highly unsanitary and inefficient.

>Sounds familiar.

>This shower feels awesome.

>High pressure and warm temperature beat against your head.

>In a good way, of course.

>You turn around for the jetstream to punish your back.

>This is arguably the most masochistic shower scene I’ve ever concieved…

>So… you finish up and get out, before you start fucking the shower head.

>Don’t even begin to ask how.

>You dry yourself off, toss on some underwear, scurry back to your room, and put on a fresh set of threads.

>V-neck and jeans… maybe a hoodie?

>Yeah, it’s kinda chilly today.

>Looks that way.

>Now… what’s for breakfast?

>You head out into an empty lobby and look in the fridge.

 

A. leftover pizza

B. cereal

C. eggs

D. Five Hour Energy

E. Books.

 

 

>This pizza should be fantastic.

>Hopefully it’s nobody’s…

>And if it has to be somebody’s… we should probably hope it’s someone we can beat up.

>Verbally or physically.

>Rollin’ on Fluttershy.

>The pizza goes in the microwave, wrapped in a paper towel.

>Dis gon’ be gud.

>You can feel your heart beat faster because of the impending georgegasm you’re going have when you take that first bite into cheesy goodness.

>Damn, you just can’t wait!

>You pull the pizza out of the microwave and take a quick bite.

>Fuckaroni.

>It was so hot… it burnt your palate!

>You try to cool yourself off without looking like a psych ward patient.

>You feel it with the top of your tongue…

>Ooh… that’s tender.

>Oh well, at least you’ve got pizza!

>This pizza doesn’t taste too great all of the sudden.

>It just feels raw and hot and sad.

>Like sex.

>Hopefully no one claims this pizza.

>You’ve got an hour and a half till test time.

 

A. cram/study

B. girls hall

C. nap

D. coffee

 

>You finish your pizza slice, and attempt to dispose of the evidence as best you can.

>Putting the paper towel to the bottom of the trash can.

>Ventilating the kitchen to rid the world of pizza smell…

>But you have one constant reminder.

>Your palate is still sore.

>Drinking water doesn’t help.

>Maybe milk?

>No milk.

>Of course…

>You knock on the girls hall.

>Oh well fuckaroo, the door’s open.

>Easy mode all day.

 

A. Rainbow/ Flutter

B. Twilight/Rarity

C. Pinkie

D. Shower

 

>You knock on Rainbow’s door.

“Um… just a second.”

>You barely hear that through the door.

>The door opens… revealing Fluttershy.

>She’s still in her underwear…

>It’s that typical fleshy-skin tone color.

>But damn does she fill it out well.

>She turns ultrared and slams the door.

>Oh shit, the misconstruing of information.

>Rainbow’s gonna kill you.

>Fluttershy opens the door again, this time clothed.

“Good morning, Anon… I thought you were Rainbow Dash! You didn’t see anything, right?”

>Pff.

>And you prepare your shield for the Rainbow Dash Kickuuuu

>Oh… she’s not in?

>Fluttershy’s still kinda blushing.

“She’s in the shower.”

 

A. Try the shower room.

B. study with Fluttershy

C. bidness.

 

>You knock on the shower door…

>Rainbow’s loud cunty voice can be easily heard through the strong pounding of water, a curtain, and a 1.5 inch wooden door.

“Hold your horses, Rarity. I’ll be out in a minute.”

>It’s not Rarity.

“Anon? What are you doing here?”

>Can you come inside?

>Because you really wanna come inside [spoiler]Forecast Janna[/spoiler]

>By that, I mean I do.

>High chance of Rainbow, sunshine, and bloodshed.

“Anon, seriously? Right now?”

>Also, disregard the fact that everybody can hear you.

“We shouldn’t!”

>Why not? You’ve got enough time for one more decision before you have to leave for the final.

 

A. force your way in

B. sneak your way in

C. leave.

 

>As if there were a way to sneak in.

>This door is pretty solid.

>And there are no windows… since you know you don’t have a window in your shower room.

>Unless some kind of female double standard where all female shower rooms need to have natural light and large windows only.

>But that’s optimistic.

>You know you can’t fit through the ventilation shafts… or the drain pipes for that matter.

>Maybe if you were skinnier…

>Or an octopus.

>Or water.

>You pray to Bruce Lee so that you can become water, my friend.

>Doesn’t work.

>Bruce Lee doesn’t accept prayer.

>How the fuck are you gonna sneak in?

>[spoiler]door’s open lel[/spoiler]

>Somebody should really tell Housing about this.

>No doors lock ever.

>And you’re in… and she doesn’t know.

 

A. get in

B. start talking dirty

C. abort

 

>You take off your clothes and fold them neatly.

>Wanna be able to make a quick mistake.

>Ahem! I mean, quick escape!

>Right.

>You slowly approach the shower.

>You can see Rainbow’s silhouette through the curtains.

>She’s scrubbing away… totally unaware of the intruder in the bathroom.

>And you.

>You make sure you’ve got the pelvic motions worked out, rehearsing your helicopter mode.

>It’s not quite perfect, but… it’ll do.

>You peel back the curtains slowly.

>Revealing a naked Rainbow [spoiler]DRAVEN[/spoiler]

“Anon! What the hell! I thought I said don’t!”

>Despite the possibility of a snowballing anger fight, you’re still taken aback by how you two can have a conversation while entirely naked.

>Rainbow covers up, and shuts the curtain.

>Easy mode what

 

Pre-test summary

+calories in stomach

+yesterday workout

+clean and fresh

+saw Fluttershy in her underwear

-burnt palate

-upset waifu

 

Now we play the “Wait for Anon to finish his physics final” game.

 

>You exit the lecture hall alongside an odd combination of girls.

>Colgate and Twilight.

>Twilight’s walking closely to you, and… realistically, Colgate’s just kinda tagging along, trying to jump into conversation, being the ENFJ that I’m trying to make her.

“Well… that couldn’t have gone better…”

“Or worse.”

>Twilight’s pessimism shines through.

>It is what it is.

>And if it isn’t what it is?

>Then… you owe Schrodinger a new cat.

>Gravity works out here.

>Air pressure detected.

>Enable breathing.

>You let out a huge sigh, knowing that you’ve successfully waded through another test.

>Odd how much that took out of you.

>You feel your palate again.

>Eh… just barely tender.

>Do you ever wonder how your body progressively heals, but you never seem to notice.

>Like when you’re congested, and you can’t remember the last time that you were breathing normally.

>Idk, i’m full of shit right now.

>And… you’re not! You start heading to the dorms.

 

A. Food

B. Water

C. Atmosphere

 

>Nobody goes to a restaurant for atmosphere!

>Okay, really, real choices right now.

 

A. Lunch

B. Vidya

C. Study

 

>Time for food.

>Remember that texting during finals week is the worst way to get someone killed from college.

>So… you resist the urge to take out your phone and start spouting shit.

>Vibration.

>GOTTA CHECK FAST

>It’s… Femanon?

Fem: finals doe :T

>Yeah, totally.

“Gosh, I hope the lines aren’t long.”

>Twilight looks at Colgate and smiles, then turns to you, whispering…

“[spoiler]who is she?[/spoiler]”

 

>Now… while continuity is an entirely important concept in stories.

>I figure what the hell, might as well not try.

>You reach the dining halls with Twilight and Colgate.

>Entering doesn’t take long.

>Paying doesn’t take long.

>Getting your food doesn’t take long.

>Finding a spot to sit doesn’t take long.

>Getting these two to talk? Takes forever.

>You sip your soup in silence.

 

A. Twilight

B. Colgate

C. Soup.

 

>Colgate looks up at you, and sees you with a stern look on your face.

>Had no idea it was there, actually.

“Hey Anon, can you pa-”

>You interrupt her.

>Y’know? It’s gotten to the point where you just can’t wait to go home.

>You’re feeling mighty tired of this subpar soup, the doors that won’t lock, the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes.

>You miss your bed.

>How it felt to know that you could wake up in your own house and use your own bathroom.

>You miss your family.

>Your mother’s cooking and your father’s stern guidance.

>You miss your city.

>With all the places and people that go along with it.

>Maybe that’s the reason for all this pessimism. All this apathy.

>Things used to be better. You know that for a fact.

>Maybe… you just need a change of scenery.

>One more rope to hang onto as you stumble through the unknowns.

>Maybe it’s just coming from the fact that this is quote unquote… the hardest week of your college life so far.

>The only thing you can hope for, is that the future that you so willingly invested in can yield its returns.

>You rub your temples, sigh, and return to your soup.

>Colgate looks at you appalled by your long winded speech.

“Cool story bro… now can you pass the salt?”

 

End day 46.