Canter U: Day 24 Wednesday

>You wake up to a vibration from your phone.

>Snapchat?

>It's your friend from high school, hand down his pants, asleep in his bed.

"#roomieshenanigans"

>Fuck... now you're awake.

>You send him a revenge snapchat of a middle finger.

>Yeah, nailed it.

>You get your towel and head out the door to get sh-

>Spike's in the shower...

>You knock on the door.

"H-h-h-old on! I'll be out in a minute."

>You hear him washing furiously.

>You wait a couple seconds before giving another rap on the door.

 

>Whew... good shower...

>You toss on a random shirt and... oh man, your none of your hoodies are...

>Well, there's...

>No, you wore it on Monday!

>Ah fuck it.

>You don your FHS hoodie and bounce out the door.

 

>Swagience Squad waiting outside the lobby.

>Damnest thing, Bill Cosby.

>Kill you bitch, manslaughter.

>Dead ass students, cannon fodder.

>You bust through the door.

>Escalade on 24's.

>Swag swag like Caillou, I'm based, nigga, how are you?

 

A. Notes

B. Twilight

C. Fluttershy

D. Applejack

E. Goof off/ Nap

 

>You wish you could take some notes...

>But something is squeaking and creaking next to you.

>No... nobody's dryhumping or masturbating.

>At least not yet...

>You look to your right.

>Fluttershy? What now?

>You turn away from your notes for a sec to talk to the girl.

>She's in a faded green sweater.

>Details are everything, right?

>She's smiling and drawing animals in her notes.

>What's the deal here?

"Oh... I'm just so excited! I asked Mr. Armor the address to the dog pound that he sent Winona off to! Can't wait for the day to be over... then I can go! I'm so giddy I could just cheer!"

>You watch as she takes a deep inhale.

>And you're waiting with bated breath for when she's gonna do it.

 

>She didn't do it.

>You spent the whole class period watching a girl bait you into thinking she's going to do something.

>Not the first time, eh?

>You spend the hour break listening to Fluttershy express more emotion and use more words than you've ever heard in your whole acquaintance with her.

>Twilight awkwardly smiles while Applejack seems sincerely pleased.

"Aw, that's fantastic, sugarcube. Tell ya what... ah'll go with ya!"

"Yay. What about you Anon?"

>You musto meiku afutanun keikaku now, Anonu-sama.

 

A. Go to the dog pound

B. Hang out with Twilight

C. Be a comfortable and decently attractive recluse.

 

>You lead the way to chem class, regaling friends with an enchanting tale of your high school prom.

>You're gonna have them in tears by the time they sit down.

>You tell them how there was this girl you really liked... ever since freshman year.

"Aww... how sweet!"

>But you never told her how you felt.

>A month on the JV tennis team wasn't enough to impress her.

>Finding more friends and getting a job at a Starbucks wasn't enough either.

>You gave up your senior year from chasing a dream to bachelorous debauchery.

>Vidya with your bros. Getting your drivers license and driving to places that were super cool and edgy.

>But... when prom season rolled around...

>You asked her...

>Femanon? Would you like to go to prom?

>And she sai-

"Shhh! I'm trying to pay attention!"

>Oh shit, chem class.

"And I repeat... the midterm is next next Wednesday... Be ready!"

 

A. Notes

B. Twilight

C. Applejack

D. Fluttershy

E. Notes/Goof off.

 

>You get your notebook out.

>You put your pen to the paper and copy the powerpoint verbatim.

>Odd urge to freestyle rap right now.

>Maybe on a different day.

>Spinoff episode not confirmed.

>Dr. OPtimistic Seuss.

>The professor talks a bit about how stoichiometry and balancing equations is important or whatever.

>And how mass can't be created or destroyed.

>And how ratios are important.

>Numbers numbers numbers.

>The professor assigns a couple practice problems.

>Which translates to

>Talk amongst your friends or whatever.

>You turn to Twili-

>She's doing the problem... along with the rest of $wagscience.

>You whip out your not dick phone and get to texting.

(do you want to go out) Dash: Yeah, I'm down to go out tonight! What's the plan?

(shenanigans) Celestia: Put your phone away. smh.

>Celestia tries to find you from up front and is currently sucking her hair.

>That's what smh stands for, right?

(sum fuk) Colgate: Eh... not so much fun anymore now that you know who we are... It's actually really awkward now... Stop texting in class! Do you wanna not get into med school?

>Oh shit, med school!

>You fwip your head back up and read the board befo-

>He changed it.

>You can hear some giggling from behind you.

>You turn around.

>Redheart's laughing at you. Dumb cunt.

 

>2 hour break!

 

A. Lunch.

B. Gains.

C. Study

D. Vidya.

 

Sorry, I was busy playing vidya.

>Successfully wasted 2 hours of break time.

>Inbox.

(movies on you) Dash: Free movie! Sweet. Kick Ass 2!

CU actually runs a week in advance.

>You head out to class, remembering what you've accomplished.

>What you've learned.

>Remember to through special grenades in order to deny entry. That's the difference between a double kill and a flag capture.

>Remember to ban Malphite. Hard engage? More like easy engage.

>Remember to use your anti-air special if they come in with a jump. Forward down forward punch!

>Remember to recall when safe. B in the wrong place, and you could throw a game, or waste valuable seconds.

>Never sprint around corners. Always slice the pie.

>Learn your sounds. Knowing what is happening where is a very crucial point in any game... even life.

>As you sit in your stool at the lab station mumbling game tips like you've just got abused and raped by an anthropomorphized Prima strategy guide, Celestia hands out study guides before taking the chalkboard.

>I worked really hard on that joke, pls respond

"Uh... y'all okay over theyr, partner?"

>RELOAD ONLY AFTER CONTACT.

"Anon... you need some Jesus."

>Twilight

>Religion

>lolno

 

A. work on lab (evens)

B. Twilight

C. AJ

D. Celestia

E. Goof off /nap.

 

>You work on lab.

>At first, you get too much alkaline reagent...

>Hmm... smells like a burrito.

>You have too much... and isn't this stuff carcinogenic?

>You pour some of it back out, and head back to your lab station.

"Okay, Anon... pour that in here."

>You look up and Twilight's pointing at a menu of a Five Guys.

>Whoa...

>Bacon cheeseburger... all the way... with relish and A1.

>And cajun fries...

>You reach out...

>Then you spill a bit on the counter...

>Step the fuck up, Anon! You got this... you're not hungry!

>You ignore the dubstep coming from your stomach and work the rest of the lab out without a hiccup.

"Done already?"

>Celestia flips through your lab report, surprised.

"Wow... great job, you three. Applejack, I'm thinking about recruiting you into the lab!"

"Aw shucks, ah wish ah could... but mah hands're full."

>You have a fourway high five before smoking joints and eating cookies.

>None of that happened.

 

>You're at lab now though!

>Woo! Jumpcuts.

 

A. work by yourself (odds)

B. shadow Celestia

C. Shadow Twilight

D. Ask for the day off.

E. Eat something in the lab.

 

>You're hungry... and you need it bad.

>You open up the fridge.

>There's a sign inside? Eat that?

"No food storage, please."

>Fuck...

>You get a beaker of deionized water and move back to the bench.

>You browse the shelf of chemicals.

>Immediately ruling anything out with a red cap on it... or a skull and crossbones.

>You don't want any of that pirate chemical shit.

 

A. Sodium Bicarbonate

B. Sucrose

C. Urea

D. Phenol

 

>You look around to make sure no one's looking.

>Celestia's focused on something on the computer... and Twilight's preparing a solution.

>The coast is clear.

>You get some sucrose out of the bottle and scoop it into your beaker.

>You stir it around with your scooper.

>It still retains a clear visage.

>You do another coast check, and down the solution.

>Mmm... sweet.

>But... you're never doing that shit again.

>You have this weird aftertaste.

>And... a weird... feeling.

 

>One trip to the bathroom later, you finish your work...

>Vibration.

Fluttershy: Where are you? Hurry please!

>You put your ph-

>Vibration

Fluttershy: sorry sorry sorry if youre mad im sorry

>You head out to the campus's edge

>AJ and Fluttershy are there to meet you.

>You begin the walk to the University Town.

 

A. small talk

B. Business talk

C. Bidniz talk.

 

Are you out of your horny little adolescent minds?

>Uncle Phil's voice rings through your head.

>Krobo YTP's have never held such meaning before.

>Before spewing shit about how fucking Applejack in the ass was probably the highlight of your friendship with her.. you take a step back.

>You ask Fluttershy if there's a guy that she likes?

>She's blushing... like...

>You're worried about capillary refill at this point.

>Not safe.

"Nonononono... not... not really."

>Applejack costanza's...

"Have you ever even had a boy before, sugar cube?"

>Fluttershy chokes on her linguini.

"Th-there was this one guy in high school... He was really strong... and... he tried to teach me to be strong... our relationship at first was... n-nice..."

>Fluttershy had a guyfriend?

"B-b-but... all he did was scare me... and push me too hard..."

"So he dumped ya?"

"N-no! I stood my ground and broke up with him!"

>She cups her mouth....

"Oh... I'm sorry for yelling."

>Gotta fly this 747 smooth.

 

>You reach the dog pound.

>Fluttershy asks the dude up front where Winona is, and the dude shows her.

>Reunited... and it feels so good.

 

A. Play with Winona.

B. Explore the Pound

C. Leave the Pound

 

>Fluttershy asks dude if you guys can take her out to play.

>He nods or whatever.

>What a chill dude, dude.

>He let's Winona out of the cage, and she barks happily, before jumping into Fluttershy's arms.

>And... leads you into a large room... that looks like someshit from Nintendogs.

>mfw I got Nintendogs in 2008.

>mfw I named my lab retriever Luna.

>mfw I wasn't pony affiliated at that time.

>tfw you remember life before pony as a much better period of life

>The dude leaves the room.

"Aww... wittle winona wissed we?"

"Where.... does she work? Wat the... Wusty Wab?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy4vN9kF6a4

>You toss around a few balls and Winona skips around with a lot of energy.

>And you're havin fun and doin cool shit.

>Tossing balls at bitches.

>Not the first time, eh?

>Vibration... aw fuck, your phone's almost out of battery.

Dash: Where are you at? When are we going?

>You text her to meet you at the t-

>Your phone dies...

>You ask Applejack for her phone.

>She hands it to you as she watches you use it.

"Rainbow, huh? Y'all goin' on a date?"

>I-i-ts not what she thinks... b-b-banana

>Fluttershy retrieves the stick from Winona, before looking around.

"Guys! I have an idea... Let's take her!"

>She has a devilish grin on her face... almost scary looking.

"Ah dunno, Fluttershy..."

 

A. Steal her. (dubs)

B. Let her do it.

C. Convince her not to.

 

>You click your left control stick.

>Eye's dark and closed. Ready to go.

>You take Winona... and get her into Fluttershy's big ass bag of stuff.

>Girls and their bags.

>Honestly.

>She fits right in, because scaling and size and shit.

>Fluttershy leads the way and you sneak out the back door with Applejack.

>Not the first time, eh?

>That'll be my catch phrase one day.

>And ya did it! Oblivion style.

>No repercussions, right?

"Hey you guys! What are you doing?"

>Shit shit shit shit shit

>It's Dash.

>She can do a really good deep voice.

>Not your fetish though.

Fun fact: Girls have almost unnoticeably higher vocal range during their periods.

"Anon? What are you doing here?"

>Stealing a bitch.

>Not the fi-

"We stole Winona back!"

>Luckily, Fluttershy is quiet enough for no one to have heard that.

>But... where are you gonna keep her?

>RA strictly said, no pets on the beach.

>And... he was pretty adamant on not having another mishap.

"O-oh..."

>Fluttershy deflates, and inflates again!

"I-I'll just hide her!"

"Like ya did last time? Winona chewed out my old soccer ball!"

"I'm... sure I can think of something..."

>They inexplicably leave to advance the plot.

"So... you're paying, right?"

 

>And you're in the movie theater with Dash.

>Your wallet hurts a bit...

>And you owe someone some money...

>Fucking college students... why so poor.

>You take your seats in the theater...

>It's still early, so there aren't many students at this showing.

>She's been giving you nothing but hype since the snack bar.

"Did you see the first one! It was so awesome, bro!"

"That one part when Hit Girl was like washoom pow pow! So cool!"

"She's totally older now! I'd go lesbian."

"Dave's a fucking pussy. Reminds me of you, dude!"

>K. shutup bitch. You've been pretty hyped for this movie too.

>So... you're not gonna miss it.

I moved all the potential dialogue to pre-movie for a reason or two.

>You nom on some popcorn while Dash gets out the straw and impales the cup.

>Just one straw?

"Y'know... why not?"

>But... then it would be as if... you and Dashie-senpai kisu kisu...

>You're ultra doki doki right now.

>Etttttttttttttttttttttttttttto. desu.

>You turn your moe off with another handful of popcorn.

>Dash does the same.

>The first scene comes on.

>Probably some generic scene where Dave's giving a boring fucking monologue.

>Shitty jump cuts. One bad pun.

>Can't really write much about this... it's all guesswork.

>And I don't want Mellow on that spoiler game...

>Hit Girl makes an appearance...

>Some faggot front row stands up.

"HEIL QUEEN OF LE FOURCHAN XD"

>Oh boy.

 

>The majority of the audience tells that niglet to shut up and sit down.

>He listens... sweet!

>Some more exposition shows up.

>Really boring montage...

>You're fighting with Dash for custody of the center armrest, and transitively the soda and popcorn.

>Sharing is caring is bearing.

>You put your hand in the bag at the same time Rainbow does.

>doki doki desu desu.

>so Kauai, it's almost Honolulu.

"O-oh... sorry, dude."

>You take a sip of the soda as she gets a kernel or two.

>Then... she takes the soda and nonchalantly sips from your straw.

>DOKI DOKI OKIE DOKIE LOKIE

>When all of the sudden.

>Holy shit! Guns and stabbing and fighting.

>And some cool music.

>Cheesy one liners. Action packed action.

>Hitgirl's abrasively cute! And also can kill you.

>Whoa, Dave said the F-word!

>No Nicholas Cage though...

>Or Johnny Cage for that matter.

>Wonder if they were brothers?

>The movie's getting exciting...

>And Rainbow's paying a lot of attention and looks super excited.

 

A. Make a move.

B. Watch the movie.

 

>Of course.

>You've got the moves like Jagger.

>She moves her left hand to the soda...

>You take the soda off of the middle armrest...

"Anon! Come on!"

>She leans into you, reaching for the soda, as you hold it out of reach.

>And with that... you drop your arms...

>Wrap around complete.

>You smirk at her and she whispers defeatedly.

"Oh... sneaky..."

>She sighs contently and leans into you.

>And swipes the soda and takes a sip.

>You look around... because you're on a roll.

>Someone's actually sitting 2 seats down from you.

>When did they get there?

>Suddenly, this theater's crowded?

>Well... at least you did the whole arm wrap thing.

>Always wanted to try that one on...

>F-femanon...

>You do your best not to break down in tears.

>Whoa! Dave's being a massive faggot again!

 

A. Go further.

B. Be subtle.

C. Stay like this and watch the movie.

 

 

>You emptied your wallet for this movie... and technically for the company too.

>You're not gonna sully it by going one way or the other.

>You're gonna find you.

>And you're gonna getchu getchu getchu.

>Someday... maybe next week.

>Hit Girl knocks a guy out with a fridge door and says "Cool off."

>420/10 would see again

>You see her crack a smile as she leans on you.

>You run your arm up and down hers.

>She doesn't have much there, but... what are arms on a soccer player?

>Only good for LONG THROWS stats.

>How valid is this joke here in /mlp/?

>It's pretty chilly in the theater, so Dash curls up a bit more, as you hold her a bit tighter...

>She smiles again, looking at you.

>You turn and kiss her on the forehead.

>She closes her eyes and then perks her head up for some lip action.

"And then you PUNCH em in the face... just like that."

>Dash flinches at the word, before turning back to the training scene that Hit Girl's doing or whatever.

If I have this movie pegged, I'm officially done with writing CYOA's and I'm taking my talents to Hollywood.

>You smirk at her, and she totally lets you kiss her...

 

>The climax of the movie happens or whatever.

>Kickass is having his final showdown or something.

>The Motherfucker throws his gun off the roof and squares up to him.

"No bazookas now, bitch!"

>Someone has Hit Girl at gunpoint.

>Jim Carrey. Turns out he was a double agent.

>And Kickass throws his foam dildos down.

>They have at each other.

>Dash is out of your clutches and is excitedly watching the fight scene.

>You can almost say you're doing the same.

>This fight scene's intense.

>It's got some really cool speed ramps.

>Punches and rolls and whatever.

>Dash bounces excitedly in her seat, dodging punches and throwing some of her own at your arm.

>Careful, bitch... don't mess with the guns.

>And like, they tooooootally fight or whatever.

>Dickpunching and shinkicking.

>Someone makes a bad joke about kicking Kickass's ass.

>And they're fighting...

>The Motherfucker gains the upper hand... and is on top of Kickass!

>And... his head's almost off the roof.

>He's getting beat up.

"Give up, Dave! You've got nothing to lose..."

"Almost nothing."

>Hit Girl breaks free of Lieutenant States or whatever the fuck his name is.

>Kills him, makes a bad joke about Murika, and charges at the Motherfucker.

>She pulls the pin off a grenade, attaches it to her toe, and then kicks him in the ass, effectively shoving the grenade into his rectum' the force of the kick launching him off the roof of the estate... leading him to explode in midair...

>Dash is cheering loudly in her seat... and you're embarrassed to be sitting next to her.

>Hit Girl picks Kick Ass up and they escape via jetpack.

"You saved my life again, Hit Girl. You beat the Motherfucker by kicking him in th-"

>She silences him with her finger...

"I'm not Hit Girl..."

>Oh?

"Call me Kick Ass!"

>Credits.

 

End Day 2-

 

Oh yeah, and you fucked rainbowdash ya woo alright

 

End Day 24.

Day 24 Summary:

Money down...

Rainbow waifu points up!

Flutter waifu points up!

Sucrose solution digested!

Silver V: 30 Points