Title:           Applepiss
Author:          Noxist
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/VqhacMRe
First Edit:      Tuesday 16th of February 2016 12:10:38 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Tuesday 16th of February 2016 12:13:25 AM CDT

>"Anon, I really gotta take a leak!"
>"Ah can't hold it much longer!"
 
"Sucks to be you then, this meeting last another 3 hrs."
>"A..Anon, I don't think I can hold it."
"Shush, the big boys are talking."
>He said turning back to the conference table.
>Anonther Anon pointing to graphs and what can only be described as a series of lines pointing to a central dot.
"Na Na bro, you got it all fucked up, look a dampener is written as a dampener constant multiplied by the velocity. It dissipates power bra."
>"A..Anon, please, muh back teeth are floating here."
"Look sugar tits, you're my secretary right?"
>"Yea..."
"You are on call until I say otherwise. Now shut up."
>"Please sugar cube..."
"This is the last time i'm gonna tell you."
>"Sorry...."
"Alright faggots, listen if you're trying to...what the fuck that's smell?"
"Did you fucking piss yourself."
>"Ahm sorry Anon."
 
>You glare at the orange mare before you.
"That is fucking disgusting Applejack. I thought you had better self-control than that."
>She hangs her head in shame.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you drink all that cider."
>You look around the room at your fellow anons, their expressions ranging from confusion, to disgust, to tentative curiosity.
>As you survey the various reactions, you begin to formulate an idea in your head.
>An evil idea.
>As you turn back to the embarrassed horse, you grin to yourself.
"This is gonna be fun."
 
"Look at me, Applejack."
>She reluctantly brings her head up and makes eye contact with you.
>"A-Anon...Ah'm really sorry."
"Yeah I'm sorry too. Sorry that I had to watch you piss yourself. Look at the fucking mess you made!"
>You point to the yellow puddle behind her.
>Applejack looks back towards the puddle, and then back at you, this time, with anger.
>"This wouldn't have happened if you had just let me go"
"Don't you fucking pin this on me, Applepiss."
>She winces at her new nickname, and her ears flatten against her head.
>You almost laugh at her reaction, but you don't.
>This is serious shit.
"You knew very well that we would be here for a few hours, and yet you still chose to drink all that cider. I guess I can't blame you, all you do is kick trees all day. It's not like that takes any brainpower. You're just a dumb hick who can't..."
>As you continue on your rant, Applejack grows progressively smaller and smaller until she's laying on the ground with her hooves covering her head.
>You conclude your rant, and the room goes silent, save for the quiet sobbing of the pony you had thoroughly embarrassed.
>"Hey man, I think..."
>Your head snaps to the anon that dared interrupt your fun, and one glare quickly silences him.
"That's right bitch, [spoiler]I'm the captain now.[/spoiler]"
 
"Time to put into motion the 2nd part of Operation Embarrassed Applepone."
"Stand up, Applejack."
>She shakily gets up to her hooves.
>The crying has stopped for the most part.
>Her sniffles continue, however.
"Go stand by the puddle."
>Your voice is rough and assertive.
>She does so without question, too humiliated to disobey your commands.
"Face me"
>Again, she obeys, keeping her gaze locked to the ground.
>You pull your phone out of your pocket.
>Luckily you had this with you when you were teleported to Equestria.
>Equestria's top scientists were able to learn a great amount from examining your phone, and you had ushered in a new age of technology.
>That's a story for another time, though.
>It seems as though your entire existence had been leading up to this moment.
>You smile at the thought.
"This is for your own good, Applejack."
>You open up your camera and snap a picture of the pony standing beside the puddle.
"This will come in handy later."
 
>After that day, you had sent the photo to a printing company, and they had printed out exactly 100 copies.
>Earlier this morning you had sent an envelope addressed to Princess Celestia.
>In it, was one of the photos of Applejack.
>Hopefully, if you had timed it right, the Princess will receive the photo when she wakes up next morning.
>Tonight, you do work.
>You wait until 3 in the morning to start.
>All the ponies would be asleep by then.
>When 3 rolls around, you throw on your hoodie, grab the bundle of photos, and step outside.
>You take a deep breath, the cool night air refreshing you.
>The horrible deed you are about to commit is making you giddy with anticipation.
 
>The next hour is spent walking along the deserted streets.
>For each house you passed, you leave a single photo in the mailbox.
>You had planned your route beforehand.
>And you saved the best for last.
>The Apple Farm.
>You walk along the path to the farm slowly but purposefully.
>Although you are a man on a mission, you allow yourself to enjoy the quiet of the night.
>As you near the farm, the sweet scent of apples fills the air.
>The Apple family house eventually comes into view.
>As you approach it, you are extra careful to be completely quiet.
>You tried so hard and got so far, and you had no intention of fucking this up now.
>You ninja'd your way up the steps.
"Hmm... You know what, the Apples can have the rest of these pictures."
>You want to make sure this is a lesson that will stick with Applejack for the rest of her life.
>You open the mailbox.
CREEEEEEAK
"God damn, they need to put some oil on these hinges."
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK
"Fuck me, I didn't plan for this shit."
>You quickly slide the rest of the photos in the mailbox and close the lid.
>That was loud.
>You need to get the fuck outta here.
>Turning away from the house, you jump down the steps, landing as quietly as you can, and jog away from the house.
>Suddenly, you hear the door open behind you.
 
>Without thinking, you lunge behind one of the trees.
"Fuck, did they see me?"
>You don't dare look out from behind the tree.
>After an agonizing moment of silence, you hear the door close.
>You decide to risk a quick peek.
>They're gone.
>You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"That was way too heat."
>You've had enough of this stealth shit, and you want to get the hell out now.
>You book it down the path away from the farm, slowing down to catch your breath near the edge.
>The hard part is over.
>Now you just have to make it home.