- (Note: Episode 16.5 is included.)
- >>Wake up. Something isn't right
- >>Rather than the cold air of your overhead fan bearing down on you, you feel the warmth of sun
- >>Instead of tangled bedsheets, you feel grass
- >>Substituting for your sucky life of regimented mediocrity is a feeling of freedom
- >>You sit up, squint your eyes, blink, try to take stock of your surroundings
- >>You must still be in dream land. Your six o' clock alarm just woke you up not too long ago, so your seven o' clock alarm is due to signal the start of a glorious Tuesday
- >>You've learned over the last two years to absolutely dread your job, but you have a wholly human sense of obligation
- >>Unamused by this
- >>Attempt to force yourself awake through force of will
- >>Give an exasperated sigh, turn to a pine tree to your right
- >>Grab its opposite side with your outstretched arm
- >>Ram your head into it
- >>Dreamless sleep
- >>Expect to wake up to the familiar sensations of chilled air and displaced covers
- >>Wake up to the sensation of warm sunlight and grass
- >>You notice that the sun has apparently moved several degrees
- >>You groan uncontrollably, bringing a hand to your sore forehead
- >>You fail to notice the bear that was checking out your unconscious body
- >>It roars in protest at your sudden movements
- >>You roar in bone chilling fear as it rears its massive 2D claws to end your life
- >>Your pupils shrink to pinpricks, your eyes shut
- >>Suddenly you feel an immense shove
- >>Your feet dangle down below you, and you watch the bear shrink to nothingness
- >>It takes you only an instant to comprehend that you are in the air before a voice chimes in above you
- >>You look up to see a pair of gargantuan pink eyes looking down at you.
- OSHI
- >>You kick and free yourself
- >>But are now in free fall
- >>Goddamnit
- >>Yards from your death
- >>You are grabbed again, and you look up to see those same pink eyes. This time, however, they are steeply furrowed
- >>Sounds escape the lips of your supposed savior
- What?
- >>Her eyes open up, looking down at you, before they furrow again and she quips right back at you in a language you cannot decipher
- >>Assume she's asking 'What?'
- >>Wonder why your alarm clock hasn’t woken you up yet
- >>You are set down on the outskirts of a small town
- >>You look down at your hands, long coming to the realization that you are now consisting of two dimensions rather than three
- >>Your mysterious cyan savior lands in front of you
- >>Eyeing you suspiciously
- Hey,
- >>She, leans in curiously
- Thanks.
- >>She frowns, still apparently not understanding
- >>She beats the ground with one hoof before she gets an idea
- >>She motions for you to follow
- >>With nothing else to do, you do so
- >>Soon you come to a cottage
- >>Looks like a hobbit burrow
- >>She leads you across a bridge and up a winding path
- >>Come to a wooden door, which she bangs on with her odd cyan marshmallow hoof
- >>A similar creature to the cyan one, yellow, and with flowing pink hair, answers the door
- >>You squint one eye, trying to track their conversation
- >>Impossible
- >>But soon the conversation turns to you, as indicated by the yellow one's looking at you
- >>The cyan one nods, and points a hoof at you
- >>“Hello, I'm Fluttershy!â€
- >>Your eyes shoot open and at attention
- >>She gasps
- >>“And what's YOUR name?â€
- Anonymous.
- >>She smiles at you
- >>Not sure you appreciate being spoken to like a child
- Is this a dream?
- >>“Oh, no, silly!â€
- Where am I?
- >>She raises an eyebrow at you, looking concerned
- >>Dash's turn to be slightly frustrated that she can't follow the conversation
- >>“...Ponyvilleâ€
- >>Your lips fall open in disbelief
- >>You are unaware of any show called Friendship is Magic
- >>'Fluttershy' returns to talking to the cyan one
- >>She looks to you again
- >> “Well, Rainbow Dash, here, says she found you all alone over by a bears' den.â€
- >>“I've never seen anything like you before, but you're welcome to stay with me until you're all better!â€
- How is it that you can understand me?
- >>“Oh, the same way you can understand me! I've always had a knack for speaking with animals.â€
- >>You cross your arms and beam a glare
- >>Fluttershy recoils
- >>You notice that Rainbow is amused
- >>She couldn't possibly know what you said, but something about your actions and Fluttershy's reaction made her fall over with laughter
- >>This you can understand
- Hey, Fluttershy?
- >>“Ye...yes?â€
- “Tell Rainbro Dash that she's okay in my book.â€
- >>Fluttershy turns to Rainbow and tells her
- >>Rainbow stops laughing, puts on a straight face, and gets back up off the ground
- >>She looks up at you before smirking and holding up a hoof
- >>Instinctively you pump it with your fist
- >>A horrible chain of events is set into motion, but at least you have a bro
- >>Later that day, you are still wondering why the 7 o' clock alarm has not gone off yet
- >>Sun is still up, but it is on its way down
- >>Fluttershy has shown you around her house, and you have 'met' all of her little furry friends
- >>Angel is a douche
- >> “Anonymous,â€
- Just call me Anon.
- >>Fluttershy fumbles her speech
- >>“Um, okay, Anon. If you're going to stay here, you'll need a bath.â€
- >>Are you really that dirty?
- >>A smell check indicates that you could use one.
- Alright. Can I use your bathroom?
- >>You throw a thumb over your shoulder
- >>Fluttershy cringes and then shakes her head.
- >>“Oh! No, no, no. I have a nice tub all ready for you.â€
- >>She thrusts a hoof outside, where there is a wooden tub overflowing with suds
- >>You frown
- Fluttershy, I can't do that outside
- >>“Why not?â€
- People will see me
- >>She looks inquisitive
- >>You cross your arms
- I'm not getting naked out where everyone can see me.
- >>She looks you up and down and gasps.
- >>“You mean...you aren't naked?â€
- Of course I'm not! I'm still in my pajamas.
- >>“Well... okay, I guess you can use my shower. Just this once.â€
- Thank you, Fluttershy.
- >>You are in the middle of your shower. Door is closed. You can't read the labels on the bottles but you do your best
- >>Suddenly, the shower curtains fly open to reveal fluttershy with a basket of animal shampoos in her mouth – eyes closed in that happy expression so common in cartoons
- >>She calmly sets it down, happy as can be
- >>You are not so calm
- Fluttershy!?
- >>You howl with a mixture of rage and innocence as she barges in on you
- >>“Oh, Anon, you don't have to...â€
- >>Her eyes open, she looks down at your package, and she trails off
- >>Awkward moment of you standing in an exposed position, angry face. Shower head is spraying water down on you. She stands there like a deer caught in head lights
- >>Finally you reach an arm out, grab the curtains, and attempt to yank them closed
- >>Fluttershy extends a hoof to stop you, still gazing at your package
- >>She snaps out of it when you throw a hand down to cover yourself up
- FLUTTERSHY
- >>“Oh, um, I came in to wash youâ€
- >>She doesn't even care about all the water getting on her floor
- I am fully capable of washing myself
- >>“Oh, but you must need help getting the hard to reach places...â€
- I think I can handle it
- >>“Well I think you need my help...â€
- >>She is getting more assertive, sets one hoof in the shower
- >>You go berserk
- >>Many curse words escape your mouth
- >>You trip, stumble. Over Fluttershy, out of the shower. You take the shower curtain with you
- >>She falls face first in the shower
- >>While she is scrambling up, you clumsily make your way from the bathroom out into the... oh, God, all these animals
- >>They panic, seeing a wet crazy guy trip through their home
- >>Birds, birds fucking everywhere
- >>Rodents all over the place
- >>Oh, God, this looked so cute before but now it's a scene of chaos and disturbing shit
- >>She's like a crazy cat lady but fifty times worse
- >>Where do all these animals do their business?
- >>“Anon!â€
- >>Fluttershy is insane
- >>She leaps from the shower and takes off after you
- >>You explode through the heavy wooden door, tripping over the shower curtains that serve as your de-facto clothing
- >>Rainbow Dash is trotting over the bridge and raises a concerned eyebrow when she sees the sorry state you're in
- >>Instinctively rush behind her, hoisting your robes up around yourself
- >>Rainbow looks over her shoulder at you inquisitively, and then forward to the open portal of Fluttershy's cabin
- >>Fluttershy bursts out, looking like a blood hound as she looks for you
- >>Short lived, she sees that you and Dash are out front
- >>She blushes and crosses her legs, chuckling at Dash
- >>Dash is less than amused, and marches forward to her
- >>You watch as both vanish into the cottage
- >>Awkward moment as you stand there, hidden only by shower curtains
- >>Rainbow eventually makes her way out, drifting through the air, holding your pajamas in a bundle between her hooves
- >>She flies up to you, offers the human clothing
- >>You eagerly take them, turn, and change; using the shower curtain to hide yourself
- >>She touches down to the ground, obviously upset at her friend, and nudges you to follow
- >>You look back at the cottage, seeing Fluttershy eying you through her door
- >>Wondering when that 7 o' clock alarm will right all of this
- >>You follow Dash
- Hey
- >>Your cyan savior stops and looks back at you
- Thanks
- >>You hold out your fist to her
- >>She cannot understand your words, but she apparently understands the gesture plenty
- >>She bumps your fist with her hoof
- >>Off to Ponyville proper
- >>The sun has since fallen and you find yourself standing before another 'house'
- >>Well, more like a tree
- >>Tree house
- >>Rainbro slaps her hoof against the wooden door
- >>You hear something call out from behind the door before it creaks open, the knobs engrossed in a plasmic array of sparkles
- >>The occupant is similar to Dash, bur purple and with no wings. You note the horn, which is also 'glowing.' It stops, the the knobs stop simultaneously
- >>The purple animal looks at you, confused. It blinks a few times before returning its attention to Dash
- >>They hold a conversation. Some of the same words from before are repeated
- >>The purple one looks back up to you with a single squinted eye. She is examining you
- >>Eventually she waves you both in. Dash wraps her tail around your leg and motions for you to follow
- >>You do
- >>The purple equine produces a book from a high shelf, using the glittery exchange of her horn, and plops it down on a pedistal
- >>As she reads, Dash looks at you, hopeful
- >>Eventually the purple one smiles and nods, looking at you and walking over
- >>You take a step back, suspicious
- >>Dash puts a hoof to your leg, calling your attention. She bangs a hoof on the floor
- >>You do as you guess she instructed, and sit
- >>The purple one gets close, too close, uncomfortably close
- >>You raise your hand, smacking her muzzle with your palm and pushing her away
- Uh, no. Not after Fluttershy.
- >>They seem to recognize 'Fluttershy, and the purple one looks over to Rainbow, concerned
- >>Rainbow hoofpalms and shakes her head before she looks to you sternly and jabs her hoof to the purple one
- >>You shrug
- >>seemslegit
- >>Twilight knocks her horn against your forehead, and you are overcome with a sparkly aurora for a minute before it dissipates
- >>“Did it work?â€
- >>“I don't know. Never seen anything like him before. He may not be smart enough to talkâ€
- >>Narrow your eyes at the purple one and just listen.
- >> “He's gotta be, Twi. I heard him mouth stuff when I saved him from the bear.â€
- >>'Twi' looks into your eyes, shakes her head, and then looks back to Rainbow
- >>“He should have spoken by now.â€
- >>“Maybe you messed up the spell? Try another one! He brohoofs and everythingâ€
- >>'Twi' shook her head like a surgeon with a depressing messege.
- >>“Look, Rainbow Dash, clearly he's just an animal. Maybe you should take him back to Flutter...â€
- NOPE
- >>They jump and clasp one another with their hooves, looking at you with shock and surprise.
- After today? Forget that. Not in a million years.
- >>Twilight blinks, surprised.
- >>Spike walks into the room, streatching.
- >>“Yawn... hey, what's going on?â€
- >>He stops and looks at you.
- >>Dash flies up to your face, causing you to blink and recoil.
- >>“Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!â€
- >>Her spaz attack strikes you, but she's the closest thing you have to a friend here. Brodar signals the all clear.
- Eeey, bro
- >>Flip her a finger pistol before offering your fist
- >>She strikes it eagerly
- Been wanting to thank you for the saves today.
- >>“Oh, no sweat! I didn't think Fluttershy would go all crazy like thatâ€
- >>Twilight chimes in
- >>“So, Anonymous is it? What ARE you?â€
- >>You look to the unicorn, having all but forgiven her.
- I'm a human
- >>you say that proudly
- >>Spike squints and scratches his head. Twilight looks back to her book at total a loss. Rainbow flutters around you, curious and excited at the same time.
- A... homo sapien?
- >>“You mean like Rainbow?â€
- >>Twilight looks up from her book in shock and then back to the drake aggressively
- >>“Spike!â€
- >>“Uh, I mean, I need to go make the bedsâ€
- >>He's gone into the next room in cartoony puff of smoke
- >>Dash is too occupied with you to notice
- >>You figure that you're something really new to them
- >>“He's going to need a place to stay the night. He's obviously intelligent. Anonymous, you can stay here with me for nowâ€
- >>Rainbow Dash chimes in
- >>“Yeah, Anon, you'll be good and safe here. Then tomorrow we'll give you a tour of all of Ponyville!â€
- Looking forward to it, bro.
- >>You suddenly don't care so much about the 7 o' clock alarm.
- Day One: Complete
- >>The darkness that had once fallen before your eyes crept away as something nudged you
- >>“Come on, Anon. Twilight hates it when we sleep inâ€
- >>You throw a hand up and bat whoever it is away
- >>You roll over
- >>Right into a book shelf
- >>“No, nonono!â€
- >>The next thing you know you are jarred awake by a loud crash followed by an avalanche of heavy codeces, encyclopedias, and other literary works
- >>Sit up, groggy. Groan. Book that was once balanced on your head comes clattering down
- >>See Spike standing there with his hand firmly planted on his face
- >>Twilight comes in
- >>“What the heck is going on in...â€
- >>She gives a deep gasp
- >>“The library opens in ten minutes! Clean this up, now!â€
- >>Still kind of out of it, you try to stand up and hit your head on the top of a shelf
- >>Fall over, rubbing your head, squinting an eye. The foundation of the structure shakes, knocking several things over
- >>Frustrated, with her several curls of hair popping out of her main, she watches the chaos.
- >>“Spike, clean up in hereâ€
- >>“But...â€
- >>“Spike!â€
- >>Spike uneasily agrees and cuts a disappointed glare at you
- >>“Anon, we're getting you out of hereâ€
- >>Twilight's horn starts to glow, as do you, and you find yourself sliding through the door in an awkward drift
- >>You are just starting to come to grips with what is going on when she dumps you out on the front porch
- Gee, Twilight,
- >>You picked up her full name sometime last night
- I didn't mean to wreck your place
- >>She gives a relieved sigh that now at least you're outside
- >>“It's not your fault. You're a little taller than we are so it's hard for you to move around.â€
- >>It's true, they come up to about your two dimensional forms' stomach. Their houses aren't designed for your shit
- >>Slowly get up off the ground, and Twilight kindly magics all the dust and dirt off of you
- >>“We need to get you your own placeâ€
- >>Twilight is both determined, not wanting to deal with you in the house, but her voice also conveys sadness over kicking you out
- Hey, no problem. I understand
- >>She smiles at you. Hearing you say that makes her feel better
- >>“Rainbow should be here in a few minutes. If you can't figure out any sleeping arrangements... well, come back and we'll figure something out.â€
- >>She smiles sweetly at you.
- Hey, thanks, Twilight. I don't mean to be a burden.
- >>Twilight raises a hoof
- >>“Don't you worry about that. Just try to have a good day.â€
- >>She goes back into the library, muttering something about a long letter
- >>It's just then that Rainbow Dash comes swooping down from the sky and lands behind you, calling your attention
- “Hey, Anon! Ready to go?â€
- You cannot fight a smile that comes to your lips. Twilight is cool and all, but she ain't no Rainbow Dash.
- Lead the way, buddy.
- >>First stop: Rarity's.
- >>As you're moving through the town, all eyes fall upon you. You aren't sure how this makes you feel other than uncomfortable
- >>Rainbro notices as she's flapping ahead of you and turns around, facing you as she flies backwards
- >>“Don't let them bother ya, Anonâ€
- I feel like an alien
- >>Dash squeaks a laugh
- >>“Yeah, you do look pretty weird! I don't think anypony has seen anything like you beforeâ€
- >>That didn't help nearly as much as she probably thought it would
- >>“Oh, cheer up, anon. I noticed you like clothes so I told a friend of mine we'd be stopping in.â€
- Orly
- >>“Yarlyâ€
- >>Being in bare feet this whole time, you're noticing that the roads in Ponyville are built for hooves, not for human feet. It kinda sucks.
- >>“Here we are!â€
- >>You find yourself standing before a marvelous estate. Is that a marry-go-round around the upper levels?
- Really? God, that'd be great
- >>Rainbro was bored, sitting down in a seat adjacent to you and looking quite dejected. She bit off far more than she could chew with this one
- >>At this exact second, you didn't quite notice
- >>“Well of course, dah'ling~! You would be better than a billboard for my shop!â€
- >>You look around to all the pony dresses and suits. Rarity's designs were a little flamboyant. You hoped that she didn't get the wrong idea
- >>Rainbow rolled her eyes.
- >>“Come on, anon, you don't really need to go around wearing clothes all the time, do you?â€
- >>You are caught by surprise, look over your shoulder to her, and fiddle with the collar of your pajamas.
- >>Shit, they were always naked. This idea was probably alien to them.
- Kinda?
- >>You don't really want to get in to it right now, but she looks at you skeptically
- Hey, this was your idea. I don't like clothes shopping either.
- >>Rainbow's eyes widen, and then she squints, lifting off the ground and crossing her arms
- >>She knows that she has been defeated
- >>“Oh don't worry about it. I'll just take your measurements and you can pick them up tomorrow.â€
- Hey, that's great!
- >>“Rainbow, be a dear and wait here. This won't take more than a minute!â€
- >>Rainbow shifts her eyes away
- >>Rarity guides you to a back room, filled with pony-related measurements
- >>She closes the door with her hind hoof, instructing you to stand on an elevated surface before she starts making with the magic.
- >>A tape measure runs across your arms, and you accordingly spread your arms as wide as you can. >>Rulers and measures run over every inch of your body, and you nearly finding yourself falling asleep
- >>That is, until everything comes to a stand still and everything suspiciously goes quiet
- >>Rarity presses a marshmallow hoof against your junk, causing you to wince
- >>“Oh... now I see what Fluttershy was talking aboutâ€
- >>She keeps the volume down
- This better be part of the measuring process
- >>Rarity shakes her head and smiles up at you with clear horselust in her eyes
- >>Her horn glows, magic causes various objects in the room to whirl around busily once more, masking the dialogue somewhat to outsiders
- >>Trying to be a gentleman, you straighten your collar, turn away from her, and intend to let her down easy.
- Thanks for the 'compliment,' but...
- >>She cuts you off. A sparkly aurora overtakes you and pulls you right back into the center of the room before you get very far.
- >>“And your eyes! So gorgeous! Darling you simply must stay for a while...â€
- >>Little too grabby for your tastes
- >>And a horse
- >>Rarity starts using her freeky deekie magic to start peeling off your pajamas
- NO MEANS NO
- >>You need an adult
- >>Besides Rarity
- >>Rainbro busts in just in time to see all this going down
- >>Wings erect, body straight as a pointing dog, growling at Rarity with a sound akin to a wolf's threat
- >>“Get your hooves off of him!â€
- >>Sounds of cats going at it as they meet in a puffy cloud inside of which you can assume is only violence
- >>It clears up, with Rainbow standing victor. Rarity's magic had long released you and the other objects in the room
- >>“Rainbow, dah'ling! It was just a misunderstanding!â€
- >>“Yeah, I BET. Come on, anon. She's got what she needs.â€
- >>You leave the premisses, looking back and seeing Rarity bat her eyelashes at you from the door
- >>You cringe
- >>Turn back to your buddy, and wait until you're out of earshot
- Thanks a ton.
- >>“No problem, Anon! I got your back.â€
- >>She raises her hoof
- >>It was by instinct, now. You met her gesture with a set of respek knuckles.
- >>But all was not well. You grab your stomach as it finally, after remaining silent for so long, protests loudly enough for Dash to pause and flutter in place, eyes wide with concern.
- >>“Oh, yeah, you still haven't had anything to eat, have you?â€
- Some water and crackers at Twilight's. Otherwise, no.
- >>“Well don't worry, your pal Rainbow Dash is going to fix that right up.â€
- >>Your stomach hates you, and by now the sounds of your gut roaring for sustenance has become so common place that you don't even feel ashamed of it
- >>Rainbow dash brings you to the cafe which is best described as a gingerbread house
- >>You enter, being escorted by Rainbow Dash
- >>Pinkie pie is at the counter
- >>Her eyes go wide instantly upon seeing you
- >>She flashes over at such a speed you could not track it with your eyes. She is in your face in an instant, with one hoof on each of your cheeks
- >>“Oooh~! Dash~! Who'se your friend? Huh? Huh? Huh?â€
- >>She speaks so fast; too fast.
- >>“Pinkie, he's new in town. He just needs a little...â€
- >>Rainbow gets cut off by Pinkie returning her attention to you
- >>“Ooooh~! In that case, party time!â€
- That's okay...
- >>In an instant she flashes away from you, and is back – from behind you, no less, with a colorful cart
- >>Your world's GPS would go on strike trying to track this woman
- >>Pinkie slaps a red button on the cart, which sends your world spinning
- >>Rainbow Dash facehooves, knowing what's coming
- >>“WELCOME WELCOME WELCOMEâ€
- >>Pinkie's mobility is further exacerbated by her impossible dance moves
- >>So many flags and banners, so many colors, everywhere
- >>The tunes of polka invade your mind
- >>“A FINE WELCOME TO YOUâ€
- >> “Pinkie...†Dash notices that you are getting a little wobbly
- >>“WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME I SAY HOW DO YOU DOâ€
- >>A brass horn penetrates from your left ear, exits your right, and blares a horrible screech as she blows into it
- >>Your eyes shoot open and do not relax until it is taken out of your head. Cartoons are fucking weird
- >>“Pinkie!â€
- >>Dash tries to speak up
- >>“WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME I SAY HIP-HIP-HORRAYâ€
- >>Drums beat in your ears, filling the void left by the brass
- >>You loose balance
- >>“WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO PONYVILLE TODAY~~â€
- >>A familiar creeping blackness overtakes you as you hit the floor
- >>“PINKIE!!â€
- >>“Do you think he'll be alright?â€
- >>“Maybe we should call the ambulanceâ€
- >>“Pinkie, I told you to stop!â€
- >>“Hehehe~! He's just sleepyâ€
- >>Sound echoes in your mind before you wake up
- >>As light pierces the veil of blackness, Mr. and Mrs. Cake look down upon you along with Pinkie and Dash
- >>The sight of Pinkie terrifies you
- Oh, God!
- >>You coil your legs to your chest and kick the covers off of you, scrambling off the side of the bed away from the Pink
- >>You smack the floor
- >>All of the ponies jump, save for Dash, who is happy to see you come to
- >>“You were out for a good fifteen or twenty, Anon!â€
- >>Dash drifts behind you and lifts you up onto your feet by the shoulders
- >>She also brushes you off
- >>What a bro
- What were we doing? Where am I.
- >>Mr. Cake trots towards you
- >>“We're sorry, Pinkie has a... unique way of greeting guestsâ€
- >>No shit
- >>“We have a meal all ready for you in the other room!â€
- >>You are put to ease, and you and Dash partake in some much-earned foodage
- >>After saying your farewells, you and Dash begin the walk back towards the library
- >>Pinkie Pie bounds after you, and cuts you off
- >>You recoil
- >>“Oh, hey, Anon! I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Here you go!â€
- >>She thrusts a freshly made cupcake into your hand and then bounces off before you can say anything
- >>You look at Dash with a blank expression
- >>“Uh, yeah, that's Pinkie Pie for you. She's so random!â€
- >>No shit
- >>Hey, thanks for showing me around.
- >>“Hey! You haven't even seen Sweet Apple Acres, yet!â€
- >>She flies around to the other side of you, putting an arm around the back of your neck as she explains it
- >>“My friend, Applejack, lives there. Oh, she'll get a kick out of you!â€
- Sounds cool, but right now I need to think of a plan for tonight.
- >>“What's happening tonight?â€
- I still don't have a place. Twilight told me I could come back, but I sort of made a mess of her book shelf. I'm kind of big.
- >>“...Can you fly?â€
- Nope
- >>With a clop, her arms cross her chest and she runs a hook over her chin while she thinks
- >>“Maybe they can take you at Applejack's. You'll love it, there!â€
- Worth a shot. Let's go
- >>Lift your fist
- >>She bumps it with her hoof
- >>The sun has given way to the darkness
- >>A dark blue sea populated by trillions of glittering sparks
- >>You can't remember too terribly much of your former life, but you know nights weren't so spectacular
- >>You also observe that Rainbow is getting tired
- >>So much so, in fact, that she has abandoned flying and is walking to rest her wings
- >>She is so willing to help you. It's nice to feel wanted
- >>That was something missing from your previous life as well
- >>“Eeeyuh... here we areâ€
- >>You wince at that deep yawn. She has exerted herself so much today on your behalf
- >>What a bro
- >>She takes to the air and guides you up to the door and then knocks on it with her cyan marshmallow hoof
- >>Door opens, and you are introduced for the first time to an orange pony with white spots below her eyes that mimic freckles on humans
- >>“Well howdy, y'all. What's all this?â€
- >>She looks to Dash for an explanation
- >>“Hey, Applejack! This is Anon. He's new in town, but he's a little too big to stay at Twilight's.â€
- >>Applejack leans over to look past Rainbow, eying you suspiciously
- >>You wave to her, twitching your fingers and putting on a grateful smile
- >>“Can he crash here for a night?â€
- >>Dash puts her hooves together in a praying position, looking down on Applejack with a hopeful smile.
- >>“...What in tar-nation IS he?â€
- I'm a hu
- >>“He's a homo! And I discovered himâ€
- >>Dashie says this proudly
- >>You glare at her from behind
- >>Should have never used that word at Twilight's
- >>Before you can correct Dashie, Applejack speaks up
- >>“Alright, come on. I'll take ya to the empty silo over yonder. But ya better believe yer' workin' tomorrow.â€
- >>Dash looks releived.
- >>“You need a place to stay, too, Sugarcube?
- >>Dash shakes her head confidently
- >>“Nah, I'm good. See you in the morning, Anon.â€
- >>She takes off into the sky. It is easy to see her cyan and rainbow form adopt a cloud as a makeshift bed for the night
- >>You find yourself looking up at the clouds, wondering wtf
- >>A hoof to your gut glows the air out of your mouth and drags your attention back down to Applejack
- >>“Alright, Mister Homo. Let's go.â€
- >>She walks off the door step and takes to a trail which winds to a distant silo
- >>You follow
- Hey, I really appreciate it
- >>“Yuh-huhâ€
- >>She seems really stand-offish
- You can just call me Anon
- >>“Okayâ€
- >>They must not be really big on visitors, here
- >>“Tomorrow you'll be getting' up bright an' early. Apple buckins' hard work. Hope you have a good pair of hips on youâ€
- >>She throws open the barn door and points you inside
- >>Thank her again and take your gargantuan ass inside
- >>Grab a gray burlap sheet from the wall before curling up on a stack of hay
- >>Applejack closes the door, and your eyes likewise shut
- >>Movement
- >>There is movement, and it isn't you
- >>The sound of hay rustling in particular sets you off
- >>Eyes pop open
- >>A tongue brushes across your ear lobe
- >>You tense up, bite your lower lip
- >>Oh, God. You still have not forgotten Flutterfuck or Scarity
- >>Slowly you roll over
- >>Gradually
- >>Applejack's face fills your vision
- >>Somehow she got under your blanket
- >>“Well, sugarcube, I reckon you better get apple buckin'
- >>Her tone tells you that she isn't talking about agriculture
- >>You start to scream, but a hoof fills your mouth as she straddles you
- >>You try to crawl away, forcefully trying to buck her off your body
- >>“Darlin' ah'm a veteran of too many rodeos for you to stand a chance.â€
- >>Her free hoof fondles your pants, struggling with the buttons
- >>Her eyebrows furrow
- >>“Gah! Galdernit, hooves...â€
- >>With both hands you grasp her leg and try to lift her hoof out of your mouth
- >>Impossible
- >>Throw a right hook right into Applejack's jaw
- >>It rattles her bells and causes her to pause for a moment after a satisfying crack
- >>“Oh, Anon, you know ah like it rough!â€
- >>She grins at you with more lust than before
- >>Goddamn it
- >>Your buttons give way, and with her hind legs she kicks your pants down to your knees, clearing the way for her
- >>“Now, stop strugglin', Anon! Ah'm gonna buck the homo right outta ya!â€
- >>That joke is getting really old
- >>Despite your struggling, she has a ridiculous amount of strength for something so much shorter than you
- >>She must be made of darkmatter
- >>The heat of her marehood is so close to your admittedly inflated member
- >>“Shhhhâ€
- >>“Just lay back an let ol' Applejack make it all betterâ€
- >>You rear your fist to give her another good punch, but before you can the orange mare is tackled off of you
- >>You do not know how, but you quickly throw yourself under the burlap sheet and secure your pants once more
- >>By the time you have the wherewithal to see what is going on, a familiar Cyan pony rears her body on her front legs and gives Applejerk the buck of a life time.
- >>“For Celestia's sake! First Fluttershy, then Rarity, and now you! What the hell, Applejack?â€
- >>“Ah told em' he'd be up bright an' early in exchange for sleepin' here!â€
- >>You stand up. That was weak.
- >>“Oh yeah? Well Anon's going back to Twilight's! C'mon, Anon.â€
- >>You eagerly follow. Applejack is oddly calm about you leaving, for someone who was just trying to rape you a second ago
- >>She gives a smirk when you look back into the silo
- >>“Catch ya later, sugarcube.â€
- >>She winks at you
- >>You cringe and catch up to Rainbow, rejuvenated somewhat by your sleep.
- Thanks
- I mean, a lot. You're saving me all over the place, bro.
- >>Bestiality still isn't your thing
- >>Rainbow looks back at you calmly and with a confident smirk
- >>“It was nothing! Come on, we'll get ya somewhere safe.â€
- >>She lifts her hoof while she drifts next to you
- >>You bump it
- Second day: Complete
- >>Motion disturbs you yet again. You don't feel like this shit right now.
- >>“Celestia, not this crap again...â€
- >>You pry your eyes open to see Spike standing near you
- >>Sit up, give a deep yawn
- Hey, Spike
- >>“Try not to destroy the house this timeâ€
- >>The little drake is clearly less than amused about yesterday
- Yeah, sorry about that. Let me just...
- >>You try and get up on your feet, and eventually do
- >>The ponys are only about half your height at best, but the library has enough head room
- >> “Would you two KEEP IT DOWN?!â€
- >>You and Spike both slouch in awkward fear of the voice of an enraged Twilight.
- Oh, man. What time is it? Did I sleep in again?
- >>“Eh, it's earlier than you thinkâ€
- >>Quick check out the window confirms that it is still dark outside
- >>“Twilight's one of those 'early to bed, early to rise' typesâ€
- >>You nod your head, watching as Twilight slaves away at her research desk
- What are you doing?
- >>“TRYING to find out what YOU are and why all of our friends are acting nuts around youâ€
- >>She seems a little frustrated
- I guess Rainbow told you about all of it?
- >>Twilight magic'd her book closed and gave an exasperated sigh.
- >>“She did, but she didn't HAVE to. Before you came back yesterday Rarity was trying to coerce me to tell her where you were.â€
- >>“And don't get me started on Fluttershy...â€
- Oh, God, Twilight. I'm sorry.
- >>“Yeah, well, something's going on and I'm not letting you out of my sight until I figure out what.â€
- >>You admit to yourself that not having Rainbow around makes you feel uncomfortable
- >>But then, Twilight hasn’t tried to violate you, either
- >>She lifts her book to the uppermost shelf via her aurora of magic and then turns to look over her shoulder at you
- >>“Alright, what do homos eat?â€
- >>Okay, this shit has gone on long enough
- Sapien
- >>Twilight coils one front hoof off the ground and squints one eye at you
- >>“What?â€
- Homo Sapien. It's latin.
- >>Shit, they don't know what latin is.
- I mean, it's the scientific word for... you know what? Just call me Anonymous. That's what I am. I'm 'an' anonymous.
- >>Twilight looks back to her book shelf and pulls another from the endless rows, levitating it with her freaky deekie horn magic.
- >>“Alright, then. What do ANONYNMOUSES eat?â€
- Got any hamburgers? Maybe some bacon?
- >>Twilight perks her head up from her book.
- >>“What?â€
- Red meat... you know?
- >>Spike turns green and wobbles left and right, then passes out
- >>Twilight's reaction isn't much better
- >>“Ugh! Gross! You actually eat other creatures?!â€
- >>A wave of guilt overtakes you
- >>You were never truly a fan of the self-righteous vegetarian movements, but actually hearing an intelligent animal say that to you has a profound effect
- >>Twilight looks upon you with scolding eyes
- >>“UGH! This just keeps getting harder and HARDER. But... I guess you can't help that, either.â€
- >>Twilight was stressed. You come to realize from her messed up hair and bags under her eyes that she must have been up all night researching
- I'm an omnivore. I can do fruits and greens.
- >>Twilight looks back at you and smiles.
- >>“Really?â€
- >>You nod
- >>You can see the gratitude in her eyes. Similarly to Rainbow Dash, she has been bearing the brunt of your existence, here
- >>This one instance of reprieve must have been a Godsend to her
- >>“That'll make breakfast easy, then! Spike?â€
- >>Spike was looking around in the kitchen
- >>“Bad news, 'Twi. We're pretty much out of everything.â€
- >>She drooped her head low.
- >>“Ugh... alright, Spike: Go get us some groceries. I need to stay with Anon and make sure nothing happens.â€
- >>Spike salutes, clicking his heels together like a tin soldier before grabbing a bag of bits and marching out
- >>You look to Twilight, then
- So is Rainbow going to be coming today?
- >>“She has work today. She might come in later.â€
- You look down. Twilight must have noticed your sudden silence
- >>“Look, I know you guys have grown attached but even 'bros' can't be there twenty-four seven.â€
- >>There's a pause
- >>“Besides, you're going to be needing a job, too. After we find out what you are and why it's making these ponies go haywire.â€
- Hey, Twilight
- >>She looks over her shoulder at you
- Thanks for everything. It means a lot
- >>The purple mare genuinely smiles in what is probably the most peaceful expression you have seen of her in your three days in Equestria
- >>She must feel relieved, that her work is not in vain. She giggles and returns to her book.
- >>“Don't mention it. We'll figure it all out.â€
- You know, Rainbow showed me the town, yesterday
- >>Twilight looks back at you inquisitively
- Think you can give me a run-down of the world?
- >>She brightens up and trots over to you. A magic aurora drags an atlas into your lap, and she tows a globe over.
- >>Twilight isn't nearly as brohammed as Dash, of course
- >>You have well established this
- >>But thanks to her, you at least know a little more about this world that you inhabit
- >>You are aware of Celestia, you are aware of Luna and their roles in the Equestrian cosmology
- >>Sounds like bullshit to you
- >>Were you an atheist in your past life? A theist? Agnostic?
- >>As the hours in Equestria pass, you lose more and more of your memories
- >>You lose more and more of yourself
- >>You put a hand to your head as you study
- >>Your stomach rumbles. You have eaten breakfast, but your typical diet has taken a one-eighty shift and your body does not agree
- >>This world is toxic
- >>“Anon?â€
- >>You look up to see Spike waving a hand in front of you
- >>He looks concerned
- >>“You look paleâ€
- I'm fine. Thanks, Spike.
- >>You find yourself using that word more and more often. 'Thank you'
- >>It's genuine now. You are thankful for the things people do for you
- >>In your world, you still remember, 'thank you' was a hollow, meaningless term. It was expected. Not earned.
- >>You get up, finding it easier to negotiate the innards of the library than you did before. You just had to get used to everything being roughly half sized.
- I need some air
- >>Twilight turns from her book and her horn glows. A familiar shimmering aurora overtakes you and forces you back down
- >>“Oh, no. Not until I know what's going on. Anon, we just can't risk it!â€
- >>She says this half sick of your shit, and half genuinely concerned
- >>It was just then that Dash came flying in through the door
- >>“Well, work's done! Come on, Anon! Let's go do something!â€
- >>“Dash, he can't. He's under strict house arrest until we find out what he is.â€
- >>“But we already KNOW what he is! He's a homo!â€
- >>You cringe and put a hand to your forehead
- >>“No, Dash, Anon and I went over this. He's just an 'anonymous'â€
- >>She looks over at you with a comforting smile before going back to her book
- >>“Hah! More like an Anonymousaurus Rex! Come on, he belongs outside where he can breathe, where he can move. Look at him!â€
- >>You definitely feel a little stuffed up
- >>“Agh! Fine! As long as you promise to watch himâ€
- >>You smile
- >>Dash gives a firm salute and then beams a wide smile at you
- >>“Come on, let's roll!â€
- >>She zips out of the library followed by a rainbow streak
- >>You thank Twilight and then follow, having to crab walk out the door
- >>Before you know it, Rainbow ends up taking you to Ponyville park
- >>“Alright, Anon. Since I discovered you, I should get to find out what you can do.â€
- >>She flies above you as she speaks down to you like some sort of drill instructor
- >>This kind of reminds you of Full Metal Jacket
- >>“So you can't fly. Can you do magic?â€
- Nope.
- >>She lets her hooves droop down and gives a sigh
- >>You're 20% lamer
- >>“Well, are you strong, like an Earth Pony?â€
- >>She flexes her forearms and then dashes over to an apple tree, pointing at it with a marshmallow hoof
- >>“C'mon! I bet you can buck all these apples off this tree at once.â€
- >>You remember just how strong ponies like Applejack are, and you look at the tree with some doubt
- >>She zips over and pushes you over to it, urging you to try
- >>You lift your right foot, brace your weight against your left heel, and slam your right into the tree trunk
- >>The tree rattles
- >>Nothing happens
- >>She facehooves, still flapping her wings to stay aloft
- >>You're 20% lamer
- >>“Okay, so you can't fly, you can't do magic, and you aren't strong. Anon, what CAN you do?â€
- >>She looks down at you like she's disappointed
- >>You notice the disparity in leg length
- >>Cross your arms like a boss
- I bet I'm faster than you are on the ground.
- >>“Pfft hahaha! Yeah, right, Anon. Even Applejack can't keep up with theseâ€
- >>She swings her hooves under her like she was running in air
- Care to try me? Where's the nearest bar?
- >>“Oh ho, okay, Anon. Here:â€
- >>She gives you the directions
- >>“We'll start at the fountain. Prepare to eat my dust.â€
- >>You get to the fountain and brace yourself
- >>She does the same
- >>“Go!â€
- >>You rocket off, your strides carrying you further than her body's length with a single step
- >>Her jaw drops, but she rockets off in full gallop
- >>You maintain a healthy lead, until OH YOUR GOD YOU FORGOT YOU DON'T HAVE SHOES
- >>These Ponyville roads have been abused for decades by hoof, never a thought given to feet
- >>Owowowowowow
- >>You start skipping steps, people give you odd looks
- >>Rainbow Dash passes you with her snarky as fuck laugh
- >>Fuck it
- >>Your feet are going to hate you later, but you won't live it down if you lose this one
- >>You grit your teeth, recoil, chamber your lead leg to your chest, and then you're off in a cloud of dust
- >>Rainbow Dash is confident
- >>So confident that she laughs and derp faces
- >>“Can you still hear me back there, Anon?â€
- >>She taunts
- >>You pass
- >>She watches helplessly, having already used up her nitro
- >>You get to the bar and double over, hands on your knees, happy to be on a surface that doesn't hurt your feet like hell
- >>Twelve seconds later she catches up
- >>But she isn't mad, she's genuinely happy for you
- >>“Holy cow, Anon! Where did all that come from?!â€
- >>20% cooler
- >>You are too busy catching your breath to immediately answer
- >>The owner of the bar trots out, with his horn glowing and an aurora covered beer
- >>“I reckon the speed demon here needs a drink! On the house.â€
- >>That was a bad idea
- >>That was a horrible idea
- >>You have gone a few days without drinking
- >>Now what started as a congratulatory beverage has grown into you and Dash at a lively ponybar, slouched over a collection of empty steins.
- >>You don't know what this swill is, but it's good enough to numb your pained feet
- >>You and Dash have also been half-consciously passing jokes back and forth, giggling like mad even when you fuck up the punch lines
- >>You excise yourself to go to the bathroom
- >>You go into the stalls and... oh, right, what the hell is this? Just a hole in the ground?
- >>Do Ponies even have a sewage system?
- >>You grit your teeth and bear it. At least you don't have to go number two
- >>You wobble back from the stalls, and through your double vision spiraling around your periph you can see that Dash has some friends
- >>“Hey you cyan sweetie! You look pretty lonelyâ€
- >>Dash passively waves them off, but they don't get the hint
- >>Three Stallions, one particularly big one
- >>It's a draft horse, like the ones that pulled those beer wagons back home
- >>“Ah, don't be like that. We just want to show you a good time!â€
- >>Dash throws a hoof up, getting a little more annoyed
- >>“I'm with a friendâ€
- >>“Really? I don't see no oneâ€
- >>You come up
- 'Ey men, she's wif me
- >>The Stallions turn to look over their shoulders at you, and then burst out laughing
- >>“Hey, guys! It's a freakshow!â€
- >>It's a bar, what can you do? It's like you stepped through a portal from ponyville into douchyville
- Yeah, yeah. Whatever
- >>You push your way through to Dash, who glows brighter at your proximity
- >>You get cut off by the big one,who stomps forward and makes you take a step back
- >>“Hey, pal, don't be moving in on our business!â€
- But fe'th not your businesh
- >>“Anon, don't...â€
- >>She doesn't want to see you get your ass kicked
- >>But that draft sure does, though
- >>He puts a hoof on your chest and shoves “You just let the actual STALLIONS hand...â€
- >>Beer talking
- >>Dukes up, right hook to the face – just like applejack
- >>The draft is stunned
- >>The two others charge you
- >>You must have been a boxer or some shit in your past life, or something. Shit you don't know
- >>Guard up, slip past a hoof and uppercut straight into the jaw. One down
- >>Turn to the other one and lay into him with a swirling right cross that pins his snout, knocking him out
- >>POMF wingboner
- >>Hoof to the face, the place runs wild
- >>Bar fight
- >>Every stallion for himself
- >>You spit out a stream of crimson and then look to the Draft horse that landed that powerhouse jab
- >>He's rearing up for another Slip inside and under, throw a cross counter
- >>His hoof passes right by your ear
- >>Your right goes straight into his face
- >>Rainbow dash stares at you with rigid wings, her lips hanging open
- >>Kick this fucker while he's down
- >>And again
- >>...and again
- >>Soon enough you find your drunk ass thrown out of the bar by the owner
- >>Dash collects herself and grabs you by the arms, hoisting you up and flying off before the police arive
- >>You're still throwing lefts and rights as much as you can, mumbling to yourself
- >>“Take it easy, champ. You made a pretty big mess in thereâ€
- >>You calm down
- Oh, God... what happened?
- >>“You started a bar fightâ€
- >>She speaks with a scolding tone
- >>She puts you down far enough away from the incident and touches down in front of you
- Oh, Dash, oh God. I'm sorry.
- >>“Sorry?! Those were some of the coolest moves I've ever seen!â€
- >>She starts mock boxing, or as close as a pony can
- >>“A right, and then another right! Anon, you floored those creeps!â€
- >>You feel a wave of relief come over you before you realize one thing and put a hand to your mouth
- Oh, crap! The drinks! We didn't pay!
- >>“I got it, I got itâ€
- >>Rainbow assures you with a smile
- Oh, man, I'll pay you back, Dash
- >>“Don't even worry about it! I got your back. Always.â€
- Dash, you're my best bro
- >>Hold out your fist
- >>She knocks it with her hoof
- >>“Now let's get you back to Twilight's before anything else happens, you angry drunk.â€
- >>You feel about 40% cooler
- Third day: Complete
- >>Next day
- >>You feel like you're on time-out
- >>At least Dash is there with you
- >>“Now you two REALLY did itâ€
- >>A purple hoof smacks against the floor of the library
- >>Dash is the first to protest
- >>“We were just having fun! That's what friendship is all about, right?â€
- >>She grins wide, hoping to douse Twilight's fire
- >>Your head hangs low
- >>“Friendship is NOT sending a pony to the hospital with three broken ribs and a concussion!â€
- >>For an instant Dash looks impressed
- >>This lasts for about two seconds before Twilight cuts the most aggressive glare you've ever seen from her
- >>Dash's head hangs low
- >>“I'll deal with you later, Rainbow Dash. But for now Anon is in serious troubleâ€
- >>“He's not going to jail, is he?â€
- >>Twilight shakes her head, frowning. A hoof beats the floor.
- >>“I... I don't know! But Dash, you need to leaveâ€
- >>Dash flutters upwards, sticking out her chest
- >>“I'm sticking with Anon!â€
- >>“Dash, listen to me! If you stay here, you might just make it worse.â€
- >>“And how's that?â€
- >>Your eyes bounce between the two like a ping pong ball
- >>“Celestia herself is coming to speak to Anonâ€
- >>Rainbow's eyes grow to the size of dinner plates
- >>But her pupils shrink to near non-existence
- >>She drifts down to the ground, straight faced, taking what Twilight said in
- >>“Look, I'm sure it will be fine. But you need to respect her wishes and let her see Anon.â€
- >>Rainbow looks over her shoulder to you, clearly distraught
- >>“Yeah... I'm sure you'll be fine, Anonâ€
- >>She raises a hoof
- >>You knock it with your respek knuckles and share an optimistic smile
- >>Solemn, Dash leaves
- >>Twilight looks to you with a serious expression
- >>“I trust you're sober?â€
- Yeah. Listen, last night wasn't...
- >>She cuts you off with a raised hoof
- >>“Save it for Celestia, Anon. She's the one who will decide the outcome of this.â€
- >>The time between then and now was discomforting and awkward
- >>You were all engaged in cleaning up
- >>You were shelving books, since you were the tallest
- >>Spike was dusting
- >>Twilight was arranging things inside and out
- >>Twilight sure respects this woman, you hear her muttering to herself how everything has to be perfect for her teacher
- >>“The clock... is... ticking!â€
- >>Soon enough the sound of hooves and a chariot park outside the door
- >>“Places everyone, places!â€
- >>Twilight orders, using her magic to drag your ass right into the middle of the room
- >>She opens the door
- >>“Oh, Celestia!â€
- >>She kneels
- >>Spike kneels
- >>You don't
- >>“Twilight Sparkle! And how is my favorite student doing this day?â€
- >>Twilight replies, straying as far from the topic of you as possible
- >>But, eventually, no amount of verbal maneuvering can forestall the inevitable
- >>Celestia walks in, and you get your first good look at her
- >>You are slightly taller, but for the most part your eyes meet at roughly equal height
- >>This is surreal
- >>Her aura weighs down on you
- >>Commands you
- >>You are compelled to either fall to your knees or vomit
- >>Force of will
- >>Anonymous does neither
- >>“Twilight? Spike? Could I get a few moments alone with our guest?â€
- >>They immediately comply, going so far as to leave their house
- >>All attention on you
- >>She peers into your eyes, reading you, your thoughts, your soul
- >>“So, you're what I get for all that troubleâ€
- >>She spoke those words with a mild sneer
- What?
- >>“You're really messing up my plans, human. But what could I have expected?â€
- >>You hold your hands up before yourself to keep your distance, fingers spread, and you squint one eye in an expression of 'wut'
- >>The graceful equine retracts her head and walks around you in a full circle, looking you up and down
- >>She notices that you are still in the clothes that you wore when you got here
- >>“Well, I suppose keeping you in the dark isn't working. So...â€
- >>She explains the incidents of Nightmare Moon and Discord to you. The whole thing takes about a half hour, but you do not miss a single word
- >>Her voice is more mature. More commanding than the others
- >>...She's the closest thing to a human woman you've seen since you got here
- So what does all this have to do with me?
- >>She looks at you, a little frustrated. You must have missed SOMETHING
- >>“How little you humans comprehend... the forces of Harmony are totally impotent without the contrast of chaos. Understand?â€
- >>You nod after canting your head. Simple enough. Typical grand literary plot.
- >>“So as long as the Elements of Harmony lock away chaos, new enemies will arise; more powerful than the lastâ€
- >>You're dense. Perhaps the hoof to your face last night caused more damage than you thought it did.
- >>Celestia walks back up to you and jabs a hoof into your chest
- >>“This was all an experiment in controlled chaos. If I can introduce a small trickle of discord on my own terms, I was hoping to bring balance to Equestriaâ€
- >>You feel the need to speak up
- So, wait, I'm the bad guy?!
- >>“If you INSIST on looking at it that way, yes. You wereâ€
- >>Were?
- >>“The plan backfired. Because of YOU, the Elements of Harmony have been compromised!â€
- >>She slammed a hoof down, and it sounded like a terrible thunderbolt
- Fluttershy, Applejack... and Rarity...
- >>Celestia backed up and angled her head low, looking up at you with a sinister smile
- >>“Mhmm~â€
- >>You bring a hand to your lips
- >>She lifts her head once more and her horn begins to glow
- >>In her case, she does not even need to touch it to you
- >>Your memories start to come back to you
- >>You grip the sides of your head, cringing at the mental feedback
- >>A two dimensional mind being thrust into a three dimensional world
- >>Oh god wut
- >>“When I selected you, I was very careful in my choiceâ€
- >>“The human had to be a loner, someone who would not be missed by anyone. No family, no friendsâ€
- >>You recall hate
- >>School was hate
- >>Social outcast, never fitting in
- >>Your first job was hate
- >>Delivering pizzas on a bicycle
- >>But that didn't last long
- >>Next was a car wash
- >>Then a crappy call center
- >>You were all over the place
- >>Getting screamed at every day, living paycheck to paycheck
- >>You recall everything about your regimented life of mediocrity
- >>You and the white equine stand before your bed. 6:59 am
- >>“Your time in Equestria is over, 'Anonymous'â€
- >>Seconds away from the 7 o' clock alarm
- >>Dash burst in the door, suddenly, and Celestia recoils, looking left and right
- >>Her pupils were shrunk to non existence. This was unexpected
- >>Rainbow flies up between you and Celestia
- >>“No, Celestia, please don't take him away!â€
- >>Your mind deflates, the memories of your past life flying out in an instant, Celestia's mental hold weakened
- >>You cannot comprehend what is going on around you
- >>The two equines pause, Celestia looks especially shocked, looking right to Rainbow
- >>All you can see is Rainbow's back
- >>“...Loyalty?â€
- >>Celestia takes a step back
- >>Dash flutters to the ground
- >>The God Empress of Pony Kind looks to Dash, and then to you, and then again
- >>“... It... it seems I was mistaken. Perhaps the Elements have not been compromised after all.â€
- >>The room falls dead silent
- >>“We will be in touch, Anonymous.â€
- >>Celestia turns and leaves
- >>Spike and Twilight barge in
- >>“What on earth happened?!â€
- >>You fall back on your ass, traumatized
- >>Dash finally spoke up, happy as a mare could be
- >>“Looks like Anonymous is staying a while!â€
- >>Spike and Twilight's jaws are agape at the audacity of the Dash
- >>She turns to you and raises a hoof
- >>She was willing to face down a God for you
- >>Out of instinct, you punch it
- >>What a bro.
- Fourth Day: Complete
- >>This morning was a lot of hustle and bustle
- >>Moved to your own place
- >>It's been about a month since you first arrived in Equestria
- >>About a month since you were nearly mauled by a bear
- >>A month since you met the gang
- >>A month since that bar room brawl
- >>A month since you had your little talk with Celestia
- >>Your memories of your old life have faded
- >>Your nationality
- >>Your race
- >>Your past
- >>You are human. That is all you are, and as you look down into your two dimensional hands you cannot comprehend another color befitting a human
- >>The fear of your 7 o' clock alarm is all but extinct by day, but it dominates your mind at night
- >>You no longer know what it represents, other than something you strive to stay away from
- >>You have long come to the conclusion that this is something Celestia is doing to keep you in line
- >>It's working
- >>You dare not cross her
- >>Anon, the thing you are known as, makes its living performing odd jobs around the backwater town
- >>Mowing lawns
- >>Helping people move
- >>Rarely underground fight circuits, which you have found that you are quite good at
- >>You are, after all, Celestia's pet chaos wreaker
- >>As you look around your house, with human sized proportions and fitting décor, you find yourself humbled
- >>It was all planned for you, as if someone wrote it this way, and there was no room in the plot for anything as silly as an origin
- >>Just a role to play in a cosmic play beyond your understanding
- >>The door bangs with the familiar sound of a hoof
- >>You go and answer it
- >>Hurpity derpity doo, who knew?
- >>It's fucking fluttershy
- >>“Hey, Anonâ€
- Hi, Fluttershy
- >>“...Is it true that you have a really weird dick? I mean, penisâ€
- Fluttershy, you of all ponies know the answer to that
- >>“Can I see it? I only want to see it. I just want a quick peek at what it looks likeâ€
- >>You beam a downward glare at her
- >>“I won't touch it!â€
- >>Continue to glare
- >>“I'll just touch it once. Just a little tap, that's all!â€
- >>“No, huh? Okay, no touch.â€
- >>She reaches a hoof forward slowly, its target clear, and you just as slowly hinge the door closed on her.
- >>Lock the deadbolt
- >>Hear her through the other side
- >>“Darn... I'll just have to look into what humans like.â€
- >>She gets an epiphany and dashes off to the library
- >>“Twilight!â€
- >>You turn away from the door to go address a stack of mail in the kitchen
- >>You open up the first letter and find that it is a card from Rarity
- >>Oh, how nice of her
- >>Out of it falls a collection of not-quite-nude, but highly suggestive photographs smeared with kisses
- >>Cringe, decidedly not interested
- >>Back door flies off the hinges as a familiar orange mare comes stomping on through.
- >>You recoil
- >>Try to call the police
- >>A lasso takes your ankle, stopping you short of your escape rout
- >>You are dragged across the floor, and your world spins as you are wrestled into a hogtie
- >>“YEE-HAW SUGARQEUB AH TOLD YA AH'D CATCH YA LATER!â€
- >>She leans in over you, planting a hoof squarely on your chest
- >>“No one's gonna stop me this time, darlin'! Pucker upâ€
- >>Lo and behold, Rainbow Dash comes flying in through the window and knocks Applejack off of you before chasing her off
- >>She cuts you loose
- >>“You alright, Anon?â€
- >>Groggily get back on your feet
- Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks again, Rainbow
- >>She chortles and flicks her hoof at you
- >>“I'll need to start charging you if this keeps up!â€
- Ha ha, yeah.
- >>“Hey, want to go to the park?â€
- >>You look at your damaged property and shake your head
- I would, but I better get this all fixed up.
- >>Rainbow flaps her wings and takes to the air, drifting into your kitchen
- >>“No problem! I'll help you!â€
- >>As always, she is eager to be around you
- >>You smile, and lift up the door with her supporting it from the other side
- Thanks, bro
- >>You fail to notice her sink in spirit through the massive plank of wood
- >>“...yeahâ€
- >>So your days go
- >>Ageless technicolor, two dimensional freedom
- >>Night falls, and you set yourself down to sleep
- >>Chewing on a cupcake given to you by Pinkie Pie
- >>Reading passages from an Equestrian encyclopedia
- >>Worried about the money situation
- >>But at least you have your bro
- >>What more can anyone ask for?
- >>At least tomorrow there will be no 7 o' clock alarm
- >>Motion
- >>Motion in your home
- >>Applejack, Fluttershy, either one; they have gone too far
- >>You are only half conscious, waking up from a howling wind cutting into your bedroom
- >>At least you were rescued from the horrible nightmare of the always impending 7 o' clock alarm
- >>Your eyes crease open
- >>Window blown open
- >>You reach over to your half drunk glass of water, raising it up on high as you sit up
- >>The next pony you see is getting a face full of glass
- >>Your eyes shoot open, however
- >>Dumbfounded, you freeze. It is not your place to speak
- >>Your room is quickly overcome by spiraling storm clouds which form a tunnel
- >>It all moves and guides your eyes to Princess Luna, standing at the foot of your bed
- >>Fear grips you
- >>You know who this was, who this is, and her relation to Celestia
- >>Is she a messenger? Have you failed Celestia in such a catastrophic way?
- >>The glass slips out of your hand, bounces off of your bed, and breaks into a hundred shards on the floor
- >>But your eyes never stray from the nightmare before you
- >>Luna releases the fury
- >> “YOUR FEAR IS EVIDENT. WE WISH YOU TO CALM THYSELF, SUBJECTâ€
- >>You cringe, squint your eyes
- >>How the hell can you calm down? Your heart rate is absurd
- >> “THOU WILL SUPPRESS THINE COWERING!â€
- >>You hold up a hand, pinching your thumb and index finger together gently and turning it like a radio dial
- >>Luna gets the hint
- >> “Oh, uh, excuse meâ€
- >>Much better.
- Have I wronged you or your sister?
- >>You pull your covers into your lap nervously
- >>“Nay. In fact, I have come to congratulate youâ€
- >>You raise an eyebrow, but withhold your words
- >>Luna raises a hoof
- >>“You have performed admirably, given the circumstancesâ€
- >>She lowers her hoof, beating it against the ground
- >>“I know you have questions, still. I cannot fathom why my sister insists you be kept in the darkâ€
- >>You relax a little bit, watching as Luna moves to the side of your bed and uses her magical aurora to piece together the crystal glass
- I'm just thankful to be given this chance
- >>Luna gives you a sideways glare as she uses her magic to pour you a new glass of water
- >>“Yes... the world from whence you were plucked. I cannot imagine many who would be willing to face that.â€
- Does Celestia know you are here?
- >>“She does not, but that can change at any time. Please, make haste.â€
- >>You nod to Luna, grateful to her for the help
- Why are Fluttershy and Applejack filled with an insatiable urge to molest me?
- >>Luna gives an exasperated sigh, not believing that this is even an issue
- >>“My sister acted hastily. She did not adequately prepare for the consequences of human-pony interactionâ€
- >>Your eyebrow raises again, and you clench your blankets in your lap
- >>Luna sits
- >>“The beings of our world and the beings of yours are parallel in many ways. Art, expression... but there are some aspects of our races which cross into the realm of irrationalityâ€
- What do you mean?
- >>Luna grits her teeth and rolls her eyes, not happy that you are making her say this
- >>“You wouldn't remember it. My sister made sure of that. But in your world there are those who would have intercourse with what you consider animals.â€
- >>You're getting it now. Ew. Ew.
- >>“You possess a certain charisma, an animal magnetism, that someponies find irresistible.â€
- My people must have been used to all the animals in our world. But a human is new to yours.
- >>She nods
- >>Applejack and Fluttershy are fucking furries.
- >>You cringe
- >>Or... does that make YOU the furry?
- >>Fuck.
- >>How long has it been?
- >>You have long since learned to ignore the passage of time. It is meaningless when you are ageless
- >>Being Celestia's pawn, able to be sent back to the horrible abyss beyond the 7 o' clock alarm at any time, time is of little importance
- >>You live the way you are meant to
- >>And you do what you have to in order to live
- >>Unicorn magic effectively makes many advantages your hands offer over hooves obsolete
- >>Except for one
- >>You never thought you would be living this way
- >>You are surrounded by a large salted circle, stallions and mares roaring their glee all around as you stand victorious over your last opponent
- >>Ever since that bar fight, you have earned your metaphorical cutie mark in this world
- >>Ponyville is backwater.
- >>Ponys get bored.
- >>It must be no coincidence that Celestia placed you here
- >>You know that she is watching. Maybe not now, but she knows every move you make, every breath you take
- >>Her hoof feathers over your fate
- >>As your fallen opponent is wheeled off on a stretcher, you remain
- >>You try your best not to hurt these horses, even if they're generally the lowest of Equestria's low
- >>Your manager approaches from behind, smirking a confident smirk
- >>You are the best thing that has ever happened to him
- >>“Good going, Anon. You dropped that one in one blow!â€
- Saving energy
- >>“Good. Keep those bits coming.â€
- >>He pats you on the back with his hoof and then leaves the ring
- >>The next fight is announced
- >>Takers ramble off odds
- >>Gamblers place their bets
- >>Your manager does the same
- >>He's low. Really low. But you wouldn't be earning your 'honest' living without him
- >>Without that, where would you get the money to be with your best bro?
- >>The next challenger approaches
- >>These aren't the weak little ponies who are half your size in the overworld. At least, not most of them
- >>These are muscle bound pugilists. For most of them, this is a second job. Fighting for the entertainment of others
- >>Does Celestia honestly condone this?
- >>The bell rings, and the crowd roars
- >>Your opponent faces you
- >>He thinks he's good. He thinks he's tough. Just like all the others
- >>Just like those three who tried to pick up Dash in the bar months earlier
- >>You put up your dukes and slouch behind your guard, stepping in
- >>He turns, rears his hind legs and tries to buck you out in one shot
- >>You've learned that your guard is too weak to stop such attacks in the past, but it's the equine equivalent to a haymaker
- >>You dart forward, slip under it, rear your right fist and throw a beastly right uppercut straight into his stomach
- >>His lungs empty. He falls to the ground
- >>The bell rings, and you stand over just another fallen adversary
- >>More bodies, more bits, more Dash
- >>Your manager approaches you again, the same smile on his face
- >>The fucking snake
- >>“Good job, Anon! That was your toughest one tonightâ€
- I want no less than fifty per-cent this time.
- >>“Now, Anon, we'll discuss the split later. You got one more tonight.â€
- >>You cringe
- It's usually five a night. What's so special about this one?
- >>“Oh, she challenged you by name. So I set you up for one last matchâ€
- She?
- >>“Oh, yeah, the crowd loves this stuff! Try to put her down easy, eh? She's real little. And don't lose... I'm betting all of our night's winnings on youâ€
- >>He backs out of the ring, and the rigamaroll of takers and betters starts up again.
- >>She?
- >>A small orange pony with white freckles steps into the ring, opposite of you
- >>You recoil
- Ap... Applejack?!
- >>Your voice is filled with fear
- >>You remember the first rape attempt, back in the silo
- >>She can take a punch. She's tough, and she's so much shorter than you that you're going to have a hard time lining up your shots
- >>You shake your head. Are you honestly planning a strategy to fight Applejack? Celestia, what have you become?
- >>“Ah didn't know ya were into this sort of thing, Anon!â€
- >>You glare at her. Your fists curl, your gloves whine from the stress.
- >>“And ah figure...â€
- >>She lowers her volume to just enough for you to hear
- >>“...ya won't be able to resist me by the time ah'm done with ya...â€
- >>She bats her eyelashes
- >>“...Sugarcube.â€
- >>You cringe again
- >>The bell rings
- >>Applejack is no slouch, and runs in to headbutt you with a mighty warcry
- >>“YEEEE-HAW!â€
- >>You recoil, the wind knocked out of you as she collides with your gut
- >>You bounce into the crowd. They want blood, they shove you back in while chanting your stage name
- Applejack, I swear to Celestia, you are going to get hurt
- >>You have taken to replacing 'God' with 'Celestia.' You know no other deity. Celestia has made sure of that.
- >>The orange ball of rape ignores your threat and charges again
- >>Dukes up, shift right, duck low, throw a jab
- >>She swishes past it easily enough
- >>She bites your shoulder, and you roar in pain
- >>“Ah tfold ya ah like ith ruff!â€
- >>You right hook her side while she grapples you
- >>Again
- >>And again
- >>She lets go and leans back on all fours, prepared to pounce again. She spits out a tuft of your shirt and grins madly at you
- >>“Gonna have to do better'n those little love taps o' yers, darlin'.â€
- >>Your manager is frantically trying to withdraw his bet
- >>Fucking snake
- >>You bring your guard back up and shuffle around her
- >>She tracks you
- >>Predator and prey, you both calculate a plan of attack
- >>She leaps in again, turns to buck
- >>You know how to stop this, knock her out with one shot
- >>But for an instant you pause.
- >>Are you really willing to hurt applejack?
- >>You pause for another instant. You recall Celestia's terms.
- >>If you do anything to compromise the elements of harmony...
- >>She bucks your shins. Sharp pain, you go down
- >>Land on your stomach, slowly get onto your back and try to recover
- >>Applejack stands over you wearing a smug smile
- >>“Don't worry, ah reckon you'll be used to being in this position by tomarrah.â€
- >>She straddles you, and lays into you
- >>Familiar blackness envelops you as you slip into dreamless sleep
- >>Light floods into your consciousness
- >>You gasp, flail your arms, sit upright
- >>You're so sore
- >>You run your hand over your chin. Nothing's broken
- >>All teeth are there
- >>But you are so sore
- >>Your surroundings match those of your bedroom
- ...What?
- >>You look to your night stand, there is a coin sack over a letter
- >>You shove aside the sack. It is heavy as hell
- >>Take up the letter
- >>“Well, Sugarcube, thanks for the fun evening! If you're wondering about the money, I split the winnings fifty fifty with ya. Oh, and don't worry. I wouldn't have my way with an unconscious guy. Wouldn't be honest. Try to man up a little, hun.â€
- >>Your manager is going to disown you for this
- Fucking Applejack
- END
- >>The mental games are starting to effect you more and more in your life
- >>Your sleeps are more and more restless
- >>Celestia has taken to implanting unpleasant images in your brain. Flashes of your past life.
- >>Never the good parts
- >>As far as you know, there are no good parts
- >>Not like in Equestria
- >>Under the rule of the benevolent Celestia, life is better. You love Celestia. She is your God. You owe her everything
- >>You have taken to praying to her for a cure to your insomnia
- >>The cycle is vicious
- >>Celestia made sure of that
- >>The fighting is good money. Good, and you're good AT it
- >>Save for Applejack, there are only a few fights you've lost
- >>And you're confident that you could have won those just as likely as they did
- >>But it isn't perfect
- >>It's underground
- >>Frowned upon by Pony society
- >>Ponyville is but one stop on the yearly tour, and you cannot follow it
- >>You are anchored to Ponyville. Celestia made certain of that.
- >>So your employment is far from permanent
- >>You supplement your fight money, which needs to last you most of a year, with income from odd jobs around ponyville
- >>Just like when you were new. Help people move, help stock stores when they are short on horsepower
- >>Every once in a while you serve as a bouncer at a bar
- >>But your business opportunities sometimes get squandered when people like Twilight are around
- >>Fucking magic
- >>Poor girl does not realize it, but she makes your life harder than it needs to be
- >>You can't believe where you've ended up as a result
- >>While the others buck, you haul
- >>Sweet Apple Acres, home of the best apple trees in Equestria
- >>It's also the home of your stalker
- >>Anonymous is not stupid
- >>You keep an eye out
- >>Brokintosh gets a little impatient with you sometimes. You cannot haul as fast as some of the others
- >>After hours and hours, he takes pity on you. You're only human.
- >>“Anon, yer' hands would be more useful in the cellar sortin' apples.â€
- Ten four.
- >>He doesn't get it, but when you leave to the apple cellar being filled today he smiles.
- >>“Eeeyep.â€
- >>When you're done for the day, you get in line with all of the other hired hands and get your bits before you depart
- >>Applejack is always the one handing out the coinage
- >>When you pass, she grins at you wantingly
- >>Express your disinterest by taking your bits and leaving
- >>And so your days go.
- >>Sorting green apples, yellow apples, and red apples
- >>It's hard to keep up with the volume of apples coming in to the cellars, but you manage
- >>Harder, still, you have to serve as the first quality control screen
- >>Work
- >>Get paid
- >>Hang with your best bro, Rainbow
- >>Sleep
- >>Your life is regimented mediocrity
- >>And you thank Celestia for it behind every breath you take
- >>Last day of the season
- >>Brokintosh is aware of your financial troubles. You refuse to ask for hand outs
- >>You must have had a conservative vein in you in your previous life, not that you would know that
- >>You want to work hard. You want every bit to reflect your blood, sweat, and tears
- >>You want to be proud of your money
- >>You want Dash to be proud of you. Proud of discovering you, proud to call you Broski
- >>You also want Celestia to be proud of you. Proud that she chose you. Show her that you are thankful
- >>Brokintosh approaches you
- >>“Hey, Anon. Want some overtime?â€
- >>The sun is setting, but you have nowhere to be.
- That would be great.
- >>“Alright. Just come to me when you're done.â€
- >>You get to work in the cellar, the last one to be filled before the season is out
- >>Your fingers trail off the last plump, red jewel as you place it in its appropriate crate and hammer it shut
- >>Your job is done
- >>You know not what time it is, but it is dark, it is late. You turn to leave.
- >>You won't bother Brokintosh tonight. Head home, come back tomorrow for payment
- >>But you stop half way up the steps. You hear hoof beats
- >>Applejack stands over you, and step by step she comes down the cellar
- >>“Big Mac sent me to pay ya, Anonâ€
- That's nice
- >>Anonymous is not stupid
- >>Even as the cellar closes behind her, you beam a hostile glare at her
- >>You're too tired to deal with this shit tonight
- >>“Kinda reminds ya of that one time, don't it?â€
- We were in a silo 'that one time.'
- >>She tosses her braid over her other shoulder as she throws her head
- >>“Pssh! Yer' a picky one. Good thing ya don't got a choice.â€
- >>She creeps lower and lower down the steps, and you creep back further and further from her
- >>She is wholly content with this feeling of power over you
- >>“Too bad Big Mac reassigned ya to organizin'. Ah was enjoying the view when you were hauling those heavy crates.â€
- >>You get off the steps and make your way back against the pile of crates
- >>She hops off and homes in on you like a bloodhound
- Why do you do this?
- >>“Mmm~ what's that, sugarcube?â€
- This. We both know where this is going. You're going to try and rape me, I'm going to esca
- >>She puts a hoof to your chest
- >>“No escapin' for you, this time. An' besides, I wouldn't have ta do this if'n you would just let it happenâ€
- >>She starts crawling up on you
- >>You put your hand to her chest and push her off
- No.
- >>Applejack stumbles back onto all fours and snorts, clapping a fore-hoof to the ground
- >>“Well...! Why not! Ah'm a perfectly doable young mare, ain't I? What is it, am I not pretty 'nuff fer' ya, city-boy?â€
- You're a pony
- >>“Should I wear my hair like Fluttershy? Or that Dash... yer' always hangin' out with her!â€
- Applejack
- >>“Why, I bet you've bucked her brains out more'n...â€
- APPLEJACK
- >>She looks to you, wide eyed
- You're a pony.
- >>“Yeah, so what?â€
- I am Anonymous.
- >>She glares at you
- I do not forgive, I do not forget.
- >>“What's that got to do with anythin'?â€
- >>You narrow your eyes at her
- I'd hate for our friendship to be crushed over this.
- >>The orange mare beats her hoof twice on the ground
- >>The 'f' word appears to have been effective
- >>Emotional crit
- >>“But... why's it gotta be like that?â€
- Just let me go, Applejack.
- >>Pause
- Please
- >>She looks down to the ground
- As a friend
- >>Her hoof beats the ground once more
- >>“Ah... awright. But next time, Anon...â€
- >>Her voice is laced with frustration as she moves up the cellar doors and easily opens them
- >>“Git, before ah change my mind.â€
- >>You consider asking Macintosh for hazard pay
- >>You decide against it
- END
- >>You spend every waking moment thinking about your bro
- >>That beautiful, cyan, rainbow angel
- >>You don't get as much time with her as you'd like
- >>Despite the rape attempts, the six ponies that form their circle around you are still on good terms with one another
- >>Rainbow and Twilight will get upset with their peers, but they have long since understood
- >>There are physical reasons for their attraction. It's annoying, but you understand it as well
- >>Princess Luna described it to you as animal magnetism, some characteristic that someponies could not withstand
- >>That isn't their fault, but it is frustrating
- >>In the end, they have their lives and you have yours
- >>You are not a part of their story, you are just an associate they reference when they need more hands
- >>You love your bro as much as two bros can love one another
- >>But you have difficulty remembering your life before Rainbro
- >>Celestia has made certain of that
- >>That afternoon, you are thankful to be spending time with your friend, Dash
- >>You two partake in all sorts of activities
- >>Swimming
- >>Sports
- >>Drinking
- >>You still have not told her that you participate in anything underground. She doesn't need to know that
- >>But you do feel secure enough with your bro, after workouts, to take your shirt off around her
- >>To relax
- >>To be comfortable
- >>Often, it causes her wings to erect
- >>Often, the use of the word 'bro' causes her to become sad
- >>But you fail to notice
- >>Celestia's power over you is great and has many aspects
- >>Do not compromise the Elements of Harmony. You consciously live to the best of your ability by this demand
- >>After all, she plucked you from a world that would have destroyed you
- >>She is your savior. She is worthy of your unconditional love and worship
- >>But, unbeknownst to you, there is a subconscious tweak as well
- >>Celestia has made certain that you are her little human
- >>Her good, obedient little human
- >>And you couldn't be happier
- >>A red ball slams into your chest, and you catch it
- >>“You're going to have to do better than that!â€
- >>Dodgeball with Dash. Why the hell did you agree to this?
- >>You hurl the ball, sending it sailing through the air
- >>The Pegasus effortlessly corkscrews around it and laughs at you before sending her rubbery munitions your way
- >>You barely dodge, and catapult yet another in her direction
- >>She ducks it, raises one over her head, and throws it
- >>The ball bounces off of your forehead, and you can hear her laugh as you fall over
- >>But you aren't mad
- >>You're Anonymous. You appreciate a challenge
- >>She touches down
- >>“You okay, Anon?â€
- Yeah, I'm fine
- >>It's usually harder for her to nail you. She usually does, but it takes longer
- >>A memory of your past life surfaces
- >>A childhood friend. You grew apart in your teens, but all through school that was the only person you really felt comfortable with
- >>Every year, on your birthday, they would be the only one to show up
- >>You would do everything together
- >>But the epiphany sinks into the abyss of your blank mind as fast as it surfaced
- >>“Maybe we should hit the showers.â€
- You're a real friend, Rainbro
- >>She lifts an eyebrow and laughs, nervously
- >>“Anon? What's on your mind?â€
- You... reminded me of someone. Someone I knew a long time ago.
- >>“Did they have blue skin? Hah hah! Let's hit the shower!â€
- Yeah. Yeah, that sounds real good.
- >>POMF
- >>You fail to notice
- >>“I can't wait to hit those showers!â€
- Me neither, bro!
- >>You later find yourself at Fluttershy's cottage, helping to tend a few animals who had been ill
- >>You are not a surgeon, or a veterinarian, but you help as much as you can
- >>It mostly entails you just being there
- >>You have long forgiven Fluttershy of her behavior. She hasn’t been as forward as Applejack
- >>And, hey, it sometimes borders on cute. Or at least entertaining
- >>She serves you tea. Against your better judgment, you partake in it
- >>“Thank you for coming, Anon.â€
- >>You are a man of few words most of the time
- Of course.
- >>You give her a genuine smile
- >>She returns it, hiding behind her pink mane
- >>You know she has a thing for you, and even though you can't return the feeling you see no harm in at least being there when she needs help
- >>“Um... Anon... Iâ€
- Tea is not my fetish
- >>“No, I...â€
- Neither is animal suffering
- >>She gives you a face
- >>You were just covering the bases
- >>“I wanted to tell you how appreciative I am. I know we had a rocky start, but...â€
- It's okay
- >>She gets really shy, intimidated by your lack of dialogue
- ...and besides, if it weren't for you I probably wouldn't have met the others
- >>She looks up at you
- You were the only one to understand me. You were the only one I could understand. You were like a...
- >>A memory of your previous life stops you
- >>Your mother, a beautiful woman, who was always there for you right up until she died. When no one else could, or would, hear you – she did
- >>She raised you herself, your father not being there for a reason that you cannot comprehend just now
- >>This woman is why you were the way you were
- ...Mother
- >>“Anon?â€
- >>The memory assimilates into the void of your mind as fast as it came
- What?
- >>“Did you just call me your mother?â€
- >>You put the tea cup down on its saucer and rest the saucer on the table
- Did I?
- >>She nods, somewhat depressed
- I'm sorry.
- >>This wasn't the first time stuff like this has happened to you
- >>You reach an epiphany, and then it vanishes
- >>You spend the rest of the day trying to dredge it up from the barren fields of your mind
- >>You sleep on them, and then in the morning, it feels like you have lost them once more
- >>It's getting late
- >>You lay in your bed, lights out. You close a book on the science of dreams that you checked out from Twilight
- >>You lay your head down, but you skip your prayer to Celestia tonight
- >>Just as you drift asleep, finding peaceful slumber, you can feel it
- >>Some intangible force interacting with your brain
- >>The dreaded alarm clock display reading 6:59am was forced in
- >>The panoramic views of earlier dredged out
- >>But this night, you mentally grip them. Your hand emerges from the tar-like abyss
- >>You grasp what is yours, and resist her pull
- No, Celestia
- >>The alarm clock's digital display that dominates your dreams begins to shimmer from view
- >>A surprised Celestia, with her head cocked and her eyes gleaming down at you, replaces it
- Not tonight
- Sick of your shit
- >>A sudden crash of lightning bounces you out of your covers, and you land in a sitting position
- >>Your flesh is cold, freezing, crawling
- >>You are terrified
- >>It seems that even in your sleep, your mind cannot escape the rape
- Fucking Celestia
- END
- >>You are becoming more and more aware
- >>You love Celestia
- >>You hate Celestia
- >>She saved you from a life of regimented mediocrity
- >>And delivered you into a life of regimented mediocrity
- >>One life you cannot remember, save for what she allows you to remember
- >>The other life has nothing to contrast against
- >>Are you being ungrateful?
- >>Or are you being too thankful?
- >>Her grasp on your mind is terrible
- >>If you sleep, you lose everything you almost remember
- >>Over time, you wonder how many fragments of memory are permanently lost
- >>Are you even you, anymore?
- >>You are back in the ring, and your frustrations have earned you a lot of bits
- >>And has earned your enemies a lot of pain
- >>Your manager loves you
- >>The crowd loves you
- >>Your opponents, confident and arrogant at first, learn to loathe you after an average of five seconds
- >>These ponies don't know how to fight
- >>It's starting to disgust you
- >>You want to have to think
- >>You want to have to TRY
- Why won't you try harder!
- >>You grip a draft horse by the throat and bury your right fist in his face
- Huh?! Make me bleed!
- >>Again, you bash his skull
- >>You want some proof that you're alive and not just some artificial tool fabricated by Celestia
- >>These aren't coordinated punches. You used to be known for your grace, your slips, your combos
- >>You were like a graceful butterfly with the depleted uranium sting of an M1 tank
- >>But in your madness, you have decided that you don't need all that
- >>You need money, you need to hurt people
- >>You need to get answers, even if you are taking it out on the wrong people
- >>Your opponent falls, unconscious
- >>Your manager couldn't be happier, and neither could the crowd
- >>Fucking snakes. Every single one of them.
- >>“Good show, Anon. But try to save your energy, alright? You still have to face William.â€
- Who the hell is that, and why do I give a damn?
- >>You normally never curse, even mildly
- >>Your manager moves in front of you and leans in to you
- >>“Look, babe, I don't know what's gotten in to you. But you gotta be smart with this one. Really quick, too, or he's gonna floor you just like that little orange one last season.â€
- >>You furrow your eyebrows, and apparently give him a face that makes him sweat
- >>The draft is wheeled out
- >>“Look, Anon, this one's serious. Ever hear of a diamond dog?â€
- Put it in front of me and I'll kick its ass.
- >>“They're big, they're mean, and they aren't like us. They're like you!â€
- >>This gets your attention, and your eyes go wide
- What?
- >>The opponent steps into the ring. He is gargantuan. Actually a little shorter than you, but it's a matter of mass
- >>Ever since you came to Equestria, you have lost a lot of weight on a vegetarian diet.
- >>Celestia has, over time, ensured that you do not remember what meat tastes like, or that you ever ate it
- >>But this beast? Easily a hundred pounds on you, maybe more.
- >>“That's William... they call him William the Conqueror. He's champion in three cities.â€
- We'll see about that.
- >>You brush your manager aside, smack your knuckles together, and step into the middle of the ring
- >>William is dressed in an iron cuirass and a metal helmet
- >>He chortles at your show of strength and cracks his knuckles, which sounds more akin to bricks being crumbled in his hands than anything else
- >>“I'll make this quickâ€
- Hm.
- We'll see
- >>The bell rings to start the fight
- >>He throws a monstrous left, you cannot duck it so you pull away
- >>Rebound and throw a fast jab that connects with his face
- >>He doesn't even flinch
- >>He throws a right
- >>You try to pull away again but this one clips you in the cheek and sends you crashing down to the dirt
- >>He roars, he throws his hands up and looks to the crowd, which approves
- >>They think this is over? You need those bits, by Celestia. You NEED those bits
- >>You are up on your feet before long, and William turns to face you
- >>“Feh, you're tougher than you lookâ€
- >>You're used to this. Your manager was right, you can't brute force this guy.
- >>He has range. You have to get inside and lay into him
- >>Put up your dukes, which makes the crowd go wild
- >>First time you actually took a stance tonight
- >>He throws an overhand, committing to it
- >>He wants to knock you out in one shot
- >>Slip to the inside. He watches you, confused by the maneuver
- >>You clinch his shoulders and drive your knee up into his gut
- >>Not your norm. You usually like to fight with your hands
- >>How much has Celestia kept from you?
- >>“Oof!â€
- >>His guard is open. You rear your right hand and hurl your hips into it, driving a shot into his face
- >>And again
- >>Again
- >>He can't fight back
- >>You don't stop
- >>You think about Celestia
- >>How she controls your dreams
- >>How she controls you
- >>How she controls you THROUGH your dreams
- >>What right does she have?!
- >>William starts to bleed
- >>His helmet falls off, rolling to the floor
- >>You don't stop
- >>You want to remember. Maybe this world IS better than the one you came from. Maybe you want to stay.
- But it should...
- >>You right hook him in the jaw
- Be my...
- >>You drive a short punch into his torso, hard enough for him to feel it through his armor
- Choice!
- >>You hiss in a deep breath before a right cross to the nose sends him to the floor hard enough to blow out the saltine circle marking the ring
- >>Your knuckles bleed
- >>Your breath is hard and heaving
- >>Judging by the wailing of the crowd, and the insane dancing of your manager, you've won enough bits for a year.
- >>That night you keep yourself occupied in Twilight's library
- >>“...Anon, you don't look so good. Where did you get that black eye?â€
- And where do you get off interrogating me?
- >>Twilight stomps forward, less than amused
- >>You take a moment to calm down
- You're right, I'm sorry
- >>You are no fool. You know twilight is Celestia's right hand
- >>You have to be careful around her
- >>“What happened?â€
- I fell down some stairs
- >>Twilight is so innocent, that it works
- >>“Want me to take a look at it?â€
- >>You shoot her a friendly smile and then wave your hand, dismissing her concerns
- It's alright. I'll be fine.
- >>“Well... okay. The library is closing and we're heading to bed. Lock the door on your way out.â€
- >>Her horn glows, and a cloud of arcane energy compels a lantern over to the table, illuminating the book you are reading
- >>You shoot her another smile
- Thank you. Have a good one.
- >>She smiles at you, clearly still concerned, before she goes upstairs to bed.
- Celestia... let's see you take my mind if I choose not to sleep
- >>“What's that, Anonymous?â€
- Nothing. Have a good sleep.
- >>If she will not face you directly, you will force an encounter.
- END
- >>The sun has been up for a while. For once, you are up before Twilight
- >>And you remember everything that you remembered the day before
- >>Your plan is working, to your knowledge. Celestia has no sway over your mind now
- >>“Anon? Were you here all night?â€
- >>You pretend that you didn't notice
- Hm? Oh, yes. I must have been. Sorry, this book is just... something
- >>You're attempting to appeal to her love of literature
- >>Spike follows soon after Twilight, and goes about his routine of getting the paper
- >>Twilight looks more concerned than she did last night
- >>She is observant. She doesn't tell you, but she sees that the lantern is out
- >>She knows you must have put it out when the sun came up
- >>She knows you're lying to her
- >>“Well, you might as well stay for breakfast.â€
- >>As poor of a conman as you evidently are, she is worse. You sense that she knows something's up
- >>“Want the usual, Anon?â€
- There anything special to keep you awake longer?
- >>She recoils
- >>“Huh?â€
- >>She doesn't ask that sweetly. She asks it aggressively
- The usual is... fine.
- >>Spike comes back in through the front door, already reading the paper.
- >>“Whoa. Man, holy cow. Check this out.â€
- >>He holds up the paper, which is overcome by a violet aurora and dragged through the air over to Twilight
- >>Her eyes go wide as saucers
- >>“Oh, myâ€
- >>You lower your book
- What?
- >>“Late last night a diamond dog was admitted to Ponyville hospital and pronounced dead just minutes after. They say it was blunt trauma to the head.â€
- >>Spike scratches his head
- >>“What was a diamond dog doing in Ponyville?â€
- >>Twilight eyes the article suspiciously
- >>“Nopony can actually reach up to a diamond dog's head like that.â€
- >>She looks over the picture included with the article and notices a dent in the armor
- >>She withholds a gasp and magically tosses the paper back to Spike
- >>Her brows furrow. Twilight is taking charge. You can hear her hooves clop against the ground as she walks up to you.
- >>“Anon, let me see your hand.â€
- >>You look to her, your own brows furrowed
- >>“Anon...â€
- You're nuts.
- >>“Anonymous, I swear to Celestia!â€
- >>She beats a hoof against the ground
- I don't have to put up with this
- >>You get up to leave
- >>“Spike!â€
- >>Spike immediately blocks the door way
- >>As if he could actually stop you. But then, you don't want to hurt anyone.
- >>“I swear, Anon, if you don't tell me what's going on...â€
- >>You hold your wounded fist in your opposite hand and move to the steps
- >>The window by the beds is big enough for you, and the fall won't kill you
- >>“Okay, mister. That is IT!â€
- >>Her horn glows
- >>You can't even get two steps up before an arcane cloud overtakes you and you are lifted off your feet
- You are a mad mare! You hear me, Twilight?! I'm going to SUE you!
- >>Twilight rolls her eyes and drops you on the floor
- >>You fall in a heap
- >>Before you can recover, she inspects your hand. Dried blood on the knuckles, visible scrapes
- >>“The black eye, the Diamond Dog, and now your hand?â€
- >>She grips you in an aura of magic again and throws you into a chair, aggressively
- >>She marches up to you and leans in
- >>“You're going to tell me what's going on RIGHT NOW, Mister!â€
- >>Twilight has been like a big sister to you. Always the responsible one, always the one looking out for you
- >>She is speaking out of love, not malice
- >>But it was hard to tell the two apart at the moment
- >>But still, you find it difficult to tell her
- >>You didn't even trust this information with your bro
- I killed him?
- >>There's a pause
- Did I really kill him?
- >>The severity of the situation washes over you as you sit in the seat
- >>Twilight looks on you with despair and wanting to understand
- >>“Uh... I better get breakfast goingâ€
- >>Spike makes his way into the kitchen
- >>That spike; doesn't give zero fucks unless it's about Rarity
- >>“Anon, please, you need to tell me what happened. Otherwise I have to assume the worst.â€
- >>You think out loud, one hand clenched to your chest and the other gripping your head
- Oh, Celestia
- >>You still recognize no other God, no other belief
- Oh, sweet Celestia
- >>You repeat before gulping
- It's hard, Twilight
- I can't buck apples
- I can't sew
- I can't make art
- ...Can't cook, can't haul, I am not a doctor. I can't use magic. I can't do anything you and your friends can do
- >>She remains silent
- ...But I can... I, uh...
- >>Your foot starts to tap the floor, making a fast rhythm
- >>Twilight can tell you feel against the wall, she can tell you don't want to talk
- >>“Anon...â€
- I know, I know.
- >>If word gets out, kiss your livelihood good-bye
- >>You're a murderer. You won't get away from this Scott free.
- I'm... I joined an underground fight circuit. A few seasons back, Dash and I were in a bar. And there were these three guys that tried to pick her up. I tried to tell them that she was with me, and they kept pushing me, and pushing... remember? I found out I was good at it.
- >>She gasped and took a step away from you
- Twilight; you have to believe me!
- >>You start tearing up
- >>You refuse to do this
- >>No, no crying
- >>Your nose goes stiff
- >>The tear ducts won't listen to you
- I tried real hard not to kill anyone. Or even seriously hurt anyone. I tried really hard to keep it clean.
- >>Well, there it goes. A tear runs down the inside of your cheek
- You have to understand. I needed the money. I had to live.
- >>This is all Celestia's fault
- >>Her mind rape drove you to the insanity
- >>You remember last night like it was happening right now. How you were out ranged, but you slipped to the inside
- I just...
- >>You start thinking out loud
- I hit him... and then I hit him again, and I couldn't stop. Again, and again, and then he started bleeding, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop
- >>She doesn't know how to handle this and takes a step further back
- There was...
- >>You squeak
- >>You are NOT this kind of man
- >>You do NOT cry
- >>You work hard, you do as you are told. You have no reason to be ashamed
- >>But the tears have already stained her floor
- There was NOTHING else I could do!
- >>“That's not true! You helped those ponies move last week! And what about all those times you took consignments to stock shelves at the marketplace?â€
- >>You dismiss her with a wave before covering your face with your hands
- I just do that to supplement the fight money. It doesn't last until the next season starts up.
- >>You can no longer hold it back, and you hit the point where you can no longer talk straight
- >>You are ashamed
- >>Ashamed that you're crying in front of a pony
- >>Ashamed that Spike can hear you in the next room
- >>Ashamed that you killed someone
- Celestia, have mercy on my soul
- >>You manage to choke out that phrase
- >>“I'm not so sure if she will, Anon.â€
- >>“Spike, take a letter.â€
- END
- >>You look upon the beast
- >>The source of your torment is just ahead of you
- >>And for all of your scheming, your plotting, your hatred, what now?
- >>What do you do in the face of a God?
- >>Just as before, her aura is commanding
- >>It compels you to fall to your knees
- >>Or to vomit, failing that
- >>But you are Anonymous
- >>You do neither
- >>You do not forgive,
- >>You do not forget
- >>She looks upon you, roughly equal to you in height, with a cool and collected demeanor
- >>You hate her
- >>You love her
- >>You fear her
- >>Your emotions are a storm with an eye of confusion and uncertainty
- >>Hours from the time that Twilight sent that letter to Celestia, you were picked up and taken to Canterlot
- >>This time, Celestia would not come to see you. You would see her. And Luna was nowhere to be seen.
- >>Luna you liked. She was more comfortable to be around.
- >>“So, I hear you've been making some trouble around Ponyvilleâ€
- >>She says this in such a smug way. Hate boils in your blood
- >>“Hm. You think you can hide your feelings from me? You're not even trying.â€
- Twilight told you everything. Why am I here?
- >>Celestia smirks
- >>“So I can congratulate youâ€
- >>You recoil and blink, the shackles that the guards placed you in rattle as you move
- I killed someone! And you want to congratulate me for that?!
- >>The room of the palace was empty. Just you and her
- >>You were restrained well enough that the guards did not mind her earlier order to leave her
- >>“You're doing as intended. Quite well, actually.â€
- >>She trots up to you and leans in; you have to sway to keep from being shanked by her horn
- >>“...but you have this irritating habit of defying me, lately. And that is proving to be most unfortunate.â€
- >>You man up. You have little else to lose
- >>You speak through your fear, which until now has been an insurmountable barrier to your words
- B...because y-you...
- >>Before you can finish she pulls away from you
- >>“Yes, yes. The memories. The dreams. Up until recently, you could be controlled.â€
- >>“That was my favorite part about you.â€
- >>You cringe
- >>“A six, a five, and a nine. After a while I didn't even need to show you what lay beyond those numbers! Just the sight of six fifty-nine, and you wouldn't dare go against me.â€
- >>“You were a coward.â€
- >>You show your disgust for this whole thing with a warped expression of defiance
- Yeah? And now I want to see. I want to see it!
- I want to see what you have been taking away from me every night
- I want to see what I'm supposed to be afraid of!
- >>Celestia cants her head at you and chuckles
- >>“Very well, Anon. I can't say it hasn’t been fun.â€
- >>Her horn glows
- >>The light expands and encompasses you
- >>Your eyes are filled with white
- >>A voice echoes through it all
- >>“You were a good servant.â€
- >>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~
- >>You thrust yourself from your sleep in a cold sweat
- >>The cold air of your overhead fan bears down on you
- >>The feeling of displaced sheets around you is the only thing to welcome you
- >>You look at the clock and groan
- >>Seven? Already?
- >>You scramble out of bed
- >>The morning is cold
- >>But you have to power through
- >>Shower
- >>Warm oatmeal
- >>Pack your lunch
- >>Eat breakfast
- >>Brush your teeth
- >>Get to your car
- >>Drive to work
- >>You get to work. You are three minutes early
- >>Put on your headset
- >>Open the various programs you need on your computer screen
- >>Eight o' clock
- >>Punch in, enter the call waiting list
- >>Call comes in
- >>Someone screams at you about a prorated bill
- >>Explain, move on to next call
- >>Someone screams at you about collections calls
- >>Explain that they have not paid in sixty to ninety days
- >>They demand a supervisor
- >>Supervisor is too busy
- >>Nope.avi
- >>Tell them you would be happy to forward the complaint
- >>They hang up on you
- >>Next call comes in before you finish your notes
- >>Have to multitask
- >>Someone bitching about their refund
- >>Explain that the process can take six to eight weeks
- >>Finish your note on previous call
- >>They get upset
- >>Ten minutes arguing
- >>Information flashes across your screen faster than the person on the phone can comprehend
- >>The architecture of the business demands you leave three notes in three different programs
- >>They hang up on you
- >>Next call...
- >>Lunch time
- >>You have thirty minutes
- >>Spend fifteen of it waiting for your turn to use the microwave in the break room
- >>Another account is teaching a class, and all the new applicants get lunch at the same time as you
- >>Break room is packed
- >>Go outside to eat
- >>Cold
- >>Go back inside and eat at your desk
- >>Get five minutes of actual break
- >>Day closes
- >>You have processed ninety three calls today
- >>Head home
- >>Someone honks at you on the drive home
- >>What an asshole
- >>You honk at someone else
- >>What an asshole
- >>Park
- >>Open the apartment mail box
- >>Paycheck
- >>Minimum wage
- >>Go up stairs
- >>Turn on T.V. To the news
- >>Little local girl raped and killed
- >>Coalition troops suffer increased mortar attacks in Afghanistan
- >>Putin Russian prime minister again, vows to destroy capitalist pigdogs
- >>Go to computer
- >>4chan.org
- >>Zergface! Hahaha!
- >>See this, wat do?
- >>U mad, Amerifags?
- >>I AM 12 AND WUT IS THIS
- >>U mad, Eurofags?
- >>Skype window pops up
- >>One of your friends complaining about their life sucking
- >>Apologize, express willingness to help but inability to
- >>Go to bed
- >>Sleep
- >>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~
- >>Seven? Already?
- >>You scramble out of bed
- >>The morning is cold
- >>But you have to power through
- >>Shower
- >>Warm oatmeal
- >>Pack your lunch
- >>Eat breakfast
- >>Brush your teeth
- >>Get to your car
- >>drive to work
- >>Get yelled at
- >>99%er calls and calls you the 1% because he can't pay his bill on time
- >>Lunch time
- >>Mediocre lunch
- >>Closing
- >>Seventy four calls
- >>Drive home
- >>News
- >>Drive by kills an elderly woman
- >>Obama vows to dick-slap Putin
- >>Putin rebuttals 'not if I get there first!'
- >>4chan.org
- >>Zombie Apocalypse, guys
- >>Marshmallow pony jizz showers are my fetish
- >>Oh look this guy is proving me wrong, I'll call him mad
- >>Trollface.png
- >>Go to bed
- >>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~
- >>You scramble out of bed
- >>drive to work
- >>Get yelled at
- >>drive home
- >>watch depressing news
- >>go to 4chan.org
- >>go to bed
- >>Friday
- >>You have Fridays off
- >>No friends to hang out with
- >>No significant other
- >>Look through your old baby pictures
- >>Your mom died two years ago of cancer
- >>Dad was in the army. Came home in a body bag back when the invasion kicked off.
- >>Rest of the family is distant
- >>Lost contact with your only real friend growing up
- >>feelsbad man
- >>go to 4can.org
- >>stay there for eleven hours
- >>sleep
- >>rest of the weekend is the same thing
- >>foreveralone.jpg
- >>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~
- >>You thrust yourself from your sleep in a cold sweat
- >>The cold air of your overhead fan bears down on you
- >>Turn your head
- >>Giant two dimensional horse standing next to your bed
- >>“Gotchaâ€
- >>Catapult yourself out of the opposite side of the bed, taking sheets with you
- >>Get on your feet with the sheets serving as an ad-hoc toga
- >>Screaming at the top of your lungs
- >>You could be the next Jim Carrey
- >>Unicorn's horn flashes with a bright white light
- >>You remember everything
- >>“So, how did you like it?â€
- END
- >>You look upon the equine in your room
- >>You know everything
- >>Celestia has given you exactly what you wanted
- >>You now have contrast
- >>A world of stale colors that blend together
- >>A world of clear technicolors that explode all over you
- >>A world of regimented mediocrity
- >>A world of endless possibilities
- >>A world of impermanence and decay
- >>A world of ageless immortality
- >>A world where you have nothing
- >>A world where you have friends
- >>A world that will destroy you
- >>A world that will love you
- >>Celestia knows your choice before you do. She always knew.
- Take me back. Please.
- >>“Will you obey me?â€
- Yes
- >>“Will you love me?â€
- Yes
- >>“Will you accept my... friendship?â€
- Yes
- >>You are quick to answer each
- >>There are people better than you in this world
- >>Stronger people
- >>People who can tolerate this world
- >>And while you by no means had the worst life, you are thankful that you met the requisites that lead to Celestia's choice
- >>The Alicorn's horn glowed brightly, and you soon found yourself back in Canterlot palace
- >>The shackles pry themselves open and fall from you
- >>“I am a forgiving creature, Anonymous. I hope you now see what you had, and what I offer.â€
- >>Anonymous, for the first time, falls to his knees before Celestia
- >>No more defiance, no more resisting
- >>You are at a loss of words, but you are thankful to be back in this world
- >>“Anonymous, never forget that you were brought here for a reasonâ€
- >>You nod, remaining silent
- >>You were never a man of many words
- >>“I will allow you to keep your memories, Anon. At least until it impedes your purpose. But if you go to such lengths to cross me again...â€
- I will not.
- >>She smirks
- >>“Good. There will be a chariot waiting to take you back to Ponyville. You may go when you are ready.â€
- >>You stand before your benevolent ruler, your goddess.
- >>Your savior worthy of your unconditional love
- What would you have me do, there?
- >>She plants herself down on her throne and looks upon you once again
- >>“The one thing humans are best at.â€
- >>“Survive.â€
- >>You take your instruction and, once excused, leave to return to Ponyville
- >>Several hours later you find yourself back at your house
- >>It's quiet
- >>But you know that outside your humble domicile, you have a world of friends
- >>Dashie is your best bro
- >>Twilight is like a sister
- >>Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, while frustrating at times, are on the whole good friends
- >>When they aren't trying to rape you, anyway
- >>And, at least, there will be no seven o' clock alarm.
- >>My little Human
- >>I used to wonder what blackmail could be
- >>My little Human
- >>Until Celestia used it on me...
- End
- >>How long has it been? The Equestrian calendar confuses you
- >>You are content the idea that it has been as long as Celestia has allowed it to be
- >>From the first day where you were discovered by Rainbow
- >>Until this very moment
- >>You are eternally thankful for what that Goddess Mare has done for you
- >>Plucked you from a world that would have destroyed you
- >>Put you in a world that will love you
- >>It's been a good few weeks since your confrontation with Celestia
- >>A good few weeks since the battle for your sanity reached its climax
- >>And even though you insulted her by defying her several times, she has forgiven you and taken you back
- >>And now, as far as you know, she doesn't even tamper with your mind anymore
- >>Well, as far as you really care
- >>The nightmares of the impending 7 o' clock alarm have ceased
- >>You have chosen, on your own, which world you would rather be a part of
- >>The choice wasn't hard
- >>You are her little human
- >>And you couldn't be happier
- >>First storm of the season
- >>First storm you've seen in Equestria, actually
- >>The Pegasi have been preparing for it for days, culminating clouds and shoving them into position
- >>After a recent drought, the agricultural Earth Ponies needed a real downpour to save their crops
- >>What you were not expecting, however, was how shut down the town would be
- >>You recall, in your continuum, when there were storms
- >>People still functioned
- >>But ponies look out their locked up windows at you as you search for an open store like you're some kind of lunatic
- >>Thunder claps, and they duck for cover
- >>Lightning flashes, and they scream in fear
- >>Do they know something that you don't? Should you be ducking for cover just like they are?
- >>You certainly don't feel like it
- >>You cross a familiar bridge
- >>Move up a familiar winding path
- >>You find yourself at Fluttershy's cottage
- >>You knock on the door. Time has healed the incriminating scrapes and bruises on your knuckles
- >>The door flies open
- Fluttershy? I need to borrow a cu
- >>A yellow marshmallow arm stretches out from the darkness and hooks around your arm
- >>Before you can even comprehend what is going on, you are catapulted out of the storm and inside of the cottage
- >>You come to, it doesn't take you long
- >>You find yourself surrounded by the half-scale home of Fluttershy
- >>But not just Fluttershy, of course
- >>The place smells of animal
- >>It makes you cringe
- >>Birds nest in the rafters
- >>Mice live in the walls
- >>Rabbits make their comfortable little nests in corners
- >>But still, she manages to keep it all looking nice
- >>And then there is Fluttershy, who is shivering at the door with her mane and coat out of sorts. Her eyes wide and pupils shrunk to the diameter of a needle's eye
- >>Unamused, you plant your fists on your hip
- A little straight forward this time, aren't you?
- >>Grabby grabby was Applejack's style, not Fluttershy's. Although, Applejack has laid off since you talked her down in the cellar
- >>“St... st... storm!â€
- >>She squeaked and hid behind her hooves as a roar of thunder rolled over Ponyville
- >>Her coat and mane shuttered over her
- >>These ponies...
- Anyway, Fluttershy, do you think I can borrow a
- >>Another clap of thunder makes her jump
- >>Almost cat-like, she rebounds into you with her fore hooves wrapped around your neck
- >>Out of instinct you catch her body in your arms
- >>“Ruh roh!â€
- >>she gasps
- >>You sigh, eyes half closed in the cartoony expression of annoyance
- >>You are, after all, comprised of two dimensions now from any given perspective
- >>Her body shivers in your arms
- >>Your knees shutter under the task of supporting her weight
- Will you feel better after a Fluttersnack?
- >>She looks up at you, hiding behind her pink mane
- >>She manages a nod
- >>Before long you have turned her kitchen into a construction zone
- >>She watches you as you work. The storm's hold on her has lessened
- >>Celestia is a merciful God, allowing you to keep your memories of your past life
- >>At least the ones that she deems in any way relevant
- >>Although you feel yourself becoming more and more lost in this world of technicolor splendor with time, just as before, you welcome it
- >>And you at least possess a talent beyond that of fighting
- >>When the fight circuit was busted, your livelihood went down the drain
- >>It was a shame. You enjoyed the thrill. The rush of being better. The cheers of approval.
- >>A sugary pancake flips through the air as you flick your wrist
- >>As you are cooking that, you are carefully managing the heat of her stove
- >>Careful not to run into anything
- >>Pony houses were built for things half your size. You wondered how Celestia dealt with it as gracefully as she did
- >>Before long, there was a stack of pancakes neatly arranged on a plate
- >>The slightest hint of vanilla, a drop of lemon
- >>The slow flow of syrup draped off of the sides, pooling around the base of the tower
- >>And resting on top was a small scoop of butter
- >>You planted a fork into it and put it on Fluttershy's table
- >>“My gosh, it looks just like the ones at Sugarcube Cornerâ€
- >>Fluttershy said this with a gasp
- >>She didn't even notice the roll of thunder that passed over the house
- I'm no Pinkie Pie
- >>She eagerly lifts a wing to the fork, takes it between two phalanges, and tries a bite of the Fluttersnack
- >>You watch with some interest at the dexterity of her wings
- >>Her eyes widen, and she looks to you, forcing as big of a smile as she possibly could
- >>She manages to swallow before she puts up the most obvious facade of a grin
- >>You chortle
- Told you
- >>Well, there goes that. You really wish the fighting circuit was still around
- >>You might not have been even that good as far as humans go
- >>But no one in Equestria had experience fighting a human, which gave you a ridiculous edge
- >>“Oh, no, Anon! It's good!â€
- Lying is not my fetish
- >>She lowered herself, disappointed
- >>“Oh...â€
- >>Your eyes crease shut, you slouch forward, and uncontrollably issue a laugh
- >>She was SERIOUSLY trying to strike a fetish?!
- >>You thought you were just being funny!
- >>When you open your eyes, Fluttershy seems less than amused
- Ah, sorry to get your hopes up. I better get going.
- >>She stands up and moves to the door
- >>“But... but Anon! You came here for a reason!â€
- >>You stop in your tracks
- Oh, yeah
- >>Can't believe you forgot
- I needed some sugar
- >>Fluttershy looked up at you
- >>Hope filled her eyes
- >>You almost felt bad
- >>Except that she's a pony
- Not that kind of sugar
- >>She deflated
- >>“Oh...â€
- >>“...what did you need it for? I mean, if you don't mind my askingâ€
- >>Her hoof tapped the ground
- I felt like pancakes for dinner
- >>Fluttershy looked up at you curiously
- >>She knew as well as the others that you are not the kind to ask for hoofouts
- >>They knew that even though you just barely got by on money from a source that no one knew, you detested the concept of imposing yourself
- >>It was the conservative vein in your body
- >>Fluttershy looked over to her door
- >>Then back to you
- >>“You've already cooked such a wonderful meal, here. And it's storming outside...â€
- Fluttershy...
- >>You love her, as a friend. But you are uneasy after the whole shower thing on your first day
- >>To date, she is the only pony that has actually seen what a human looks like under the belt
- >>“Oh, please, Anon!â€
- >>You are taken by surprise at her sudden raise in volume
- >>“I get scared... so scared. The lightning, it's... it's gonna...â€
- You want me to spend the night
- >>She nods
- >>You feel awkward. Not only because of her obsessive fascination with you, but because you are usually a man of very few words
- >>But tonight, you're leading the conversations
- >>That Fluttershy sure is shy
- >>You spend a few minutes thinking, staring into her large eyes while you internally cringe
- ...Okay
- >>She squees
- >>Although it kills you, you remind yourself that you are doing it for Fluttershy
- >>Because she asked you to
- >>Not because you desperately need what you can get right now
- >>The half stack of pancakes was mediocre, but filling
- >>The shower went well. No surprise visits this time
- >>Lights out
- >>You are far too big for the beds, so Fluttershy graciously lays out a thick layer of blankets, sheets, and a pillow for you
- >>You nestle in the warmth, happy as can be
- >>You remind Fluttershy of one of her cute little fuzzy animals, and she giggles
- Night, Fluttershy
- >>She does not answer back. She just crawls in her bed
- >>Gears are turning. You are worried about the proximity of your ad-hoc bed to hers
- >>You were exactly adjacent
- >>And she had the high ground
- Good NIGHT, Fluttershy
- >>You repeat, hoping that her acknowledgment would mean that she agrees to no funny business
- >>“Hey, Anon?â€
- >>Dear Celestia
- What
- >>“Thank you for the foodâ€
- You're welcome
- >>“You're a good cookâ€
- Lying is still not my fetish
- >>You turn around, burying your head under your pillow
- >>“But I'm not lying! That was the first time in a long time someone has done that for me.â€
- You hang out with your friends often enough. I'm sure I'm not the only one who cooks
- >>“Where did you learn to cook?â€
- >>You pull your pillow down over your head
- Fluttershy...
- >>There was a bolt of thunder, and Fluttershy squeaked
- >>“I'm sorry!â€
- >>she gasped
- >>“Just... just talking helps. That's all!â€
- >>She's still scared of the storm
- >>You groan
- You know I live alone, Fluttershy. Just like you.
- >>“...But I don't live aloneâ€
- >>Oh, right, the animals
- I doubt any of your pets cook for you
- >>“No... I usually cook for them. Angel is picky.â€
- >>You groan
- Angel is a douche.
- >>“A what?â€
- >>Angel heard that, and throws the pillow in his nest at you
- >>It bounces off your body
- >>“Now, Angel!â€
- >>Angel gets up from its next and bounds to its pillow.
- >>Fluttershy puts her head down
- >>As 'Angel' passes you, it rears its leg and kicks you in the side
- Oof!
- >>“Anon? You okay?â€
- >>She didn't see the foul
- >>Angel returns to her nest, and you decide not to say anything. You were asking for it.
- Yeah, just fine
- >>Time passes
- >>“Anon?â€
- >>You roll over to face her bed, black bags under your eyes
- What, Fluttershy
- >>“Why do you live alone?â€
- Most of you do, Fluttershy.
- >>“That's not true. I have my friendsâ€
- >>She means the animals. Angel is still a douche
- >>“Twilight has Spike. Applejack has her whole family. Pinkie Pie, uh...â€
- >>You roll over
- I get it.
- >>She bundles up her covers, getting the idea that she is putting you off
- >>She's kind of right
- >>“Hey, Anon?â€
- Wha-ha-hat~?
- >>You whine
- >>“You can live here, with me.â€
- You have too many pets as it is
- >>She gasps and seems to take mild offense
- >>“N~! You aren't a pet!â€
- The only reason I can talk to you all is because of Twilight's incantation
- >>She looked over the edge of her bed down at you, only to see that you aren't facing her
- Before then you were the only one who could understand me, and you were the only one I could understand.
- >>There was a pause
- And that was because of your affinity with animals.
- >>She was silent. You thought you would get some sleep
- >>“Do ponies exist where you came from?â€
- Fluttershy...
- >>You groan
- >>“Do they?â€
- Yes
- >>“Do you consider them animals?â€
- Yes
- >>There was an uneasy pause
- >>Music started playing
- >>Where is it coming from?
- >>Oh, Celestia. Oh, Celestia
- >>You sit up, tugging your covers up around you
- >>You find Fluttershy standing above you
- >>“Sweat baby sweat baby~â€
- >>The music is getting louder
- >>Fluttershy is moving with the beat
- >>“Sex is a cloudsdale drought~â€
- >>You blink, confused
- >>Celestia, please tell me she isn't
- >>“Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Luna would sing about~â€
- >>She is
- >>She continued
- >>What the hell was this? You try to slide away on the ground but she follows you, as does the fucking music
- >>“Do it now!â€
- >>“You and me anon ain't nothin' but mammals~â€
- >>“So let's do it like they do on the Molestia Channel~â€
- Fluttershy
- >>“Do it again now!â€
- >>“You and me anon ain't nothin' but mammals~â€
- >>“So let's do it like they do on the Molestia Channel~â€
- FLUTTERSHY
- >>Thunder crashes with your voice
- >>There is an ambient sound of a needle scratching off of a record, and the music stops
- >>She glares at you, surprised at the interruption
- Singing is not my fetish
- >>“But...â€
- Good night, Fluttershy
- >>She hangs her head low and returns to her bed
- >>You close your eyes
- >>She sighs
- That was pretty good, though.
- >>She smiles happily
- END
- >>Anon hungers
- >>It has been so long. Longer than you know
- >>You're a grown man
- >>And you have a desire to consume meat
- >>Glorious, blood-drenched meat
- >>Ever since day one, you have had to settle for vegetables and pastries
- >>Sugar and fiber only go so far
- >>And Salad... you are TIRED of salad
- >>FUCK salad
- >>You HATE it
- >>And Celestia help you if Twilight finds out what you are doing
- >>You creep through the Everfree
- >>Armed with a hunting knife that you crafted yourself
- >>You whittled a wooden handle, and a blade of flint
- >>They were secured with a tight wrapping of twine
- >>Roughshod, rudimentary, but you are confident you can kill with it
- >>As you creep through the morass of vegetation and darkness, you can hear the sleepy sounds of the wild
- >>Very few ponies must ever venture out here
- >>But that's okay. Just means more for you
- >>It is then that you hear a familiar sound
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>You freeze, clenching your knife
- >>Hunting was never your thing. In fact, you've never done it before
- >>But by Celestia, you are hungry. So hungry.
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>There it is again. You weren't imagining it.
- >>Silently you creep towards the sound, trying to be sure not to make any noise
- >>There is a twig. You step over it
- >>Low hanging branch; you get on all fours and slink under it
- >>You crawl through a bush, which rustles as you pass through it
- >>God damnit, you've given yourself away for sure, now
- >>Alas, when you can see through to the other side, you see a chicken
- >>A big, fat, beautiful chicken
- >>Just like the ones from your world
- >>You love chicken
- >>It might not be red. You might not be able to cook it so rare that you can feel the blood dribble down your chin as you take sustenance from its lifeless corpse
- >>But it's not a fucking muffin, and it isn't a fucking salad
- >>You can hardly wait
- >>The hen jabs its beak into the ground
- >>Cluck cluck
- >>It turns its back from you
- >>Now's your chance
- >>You pop out from the bush
- >>You are covered in mud, cuts, and foliage tangled in your clothes and hair
- >>This place was by no means easy to negotiate
- AAAAAAAAAAAH!!
- >>You give the mightiest warcry that your lungs can deliver, raising your knife over your head
- >>The hen glares at you, not suspecting this, and then bolts
- >>B'GAWK
- >>But you have no intention of letting it escape
- >>You lunge from your former hiding place and chase it down
- >>Your knife swings through the air
- >>There is a crazed glint in your eye
- >>No one, no THING, will deny you this meal
- >>This chicken will die, but its sacrifice will feed you
- >>You have no choice. Without the fighting circuit, your bits are dried up for the season
- >>You are broke
- COME HERE
- >>As if the thing can understand you
- >>B'GAWK
- >>You raise your flint hunting tool
- I GOT SOMETHING FOR YA!
- >>You close the distance with it and slash, but the ball of fluff and feathers drifts over it like a balloon before falling down
- >>You trip and fall into the mud
- >>But you are Anonymous, Celestia damnit
- >>You will not be denied
- >>You get right back up and continue the chase
- >>The bird thinks it can evade you by rounding a thick tree
- >>You resolve to make a KFC bucket out of this damn thing
- >>Like a crazed maniac you round the tree, and you run smack dab into a figure
- >>A hooded figure. Short, with sinister greenish yellow eyes that peer out from the veil of darkness at you
- >>Oh shit, Jawas
- >>You stop in your tracks and freeze
- >>Alas, you still have the knife above your head, thinking you were going to be finding a chicken
- >>“Goodness me! Who invades my property?â€
- >>She takes a step forward
- >>You take a step back
- >>You lower the knife somewhat, but she notices and her glowing eyes shoot wide before shrinking
- >>“...For your trespass, I will have your ass!â€
- >>She rears up on her hind legs and emits a terrible screech
- >>You are filled with an overpowering fear that causes you to turn tail and run
- >>Your foot slips, and you spiral down into a ravine
- >>You bounce off of the ground
- >>Cut through a patch of wild thorns
- >>And then find yourself rolling into a river
- >>The dark abyss clouds your vision, but you breach the surface and grip a log that is floating down stream
- >>A breath is taken
- >>You look back where you fell, the current is carrying you away from the hooded horror
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>You turn your attention to the log that is serving as your life raft, and you find the chicken you had been chasing
- >>Confident, you bring your knife up from the water
- >>You grin with sinister intent
- I got you, now
- >>It is just then that the growing sounds of rushing water overtake your lust for foul blood
- >>You halt your murderous advance and look down stream
- >>Horror grips you as you approach a waterfall
- >>Abandoning your desire for protein, you look frantically for something to grab on to
- >>A low hanging vine passes over you, and you rocket your hand towards it to anchor you against the current
- >>Your grip is faltering
- >>The log somehow got stuck to your trousers
- >>The connection is under the violent current, you cannot free yourself
- >>You clench your knife in your teeth and grip the vine with your other hand
- >>The situation is stable. Now you need to make headway
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>The chicken bounces off the log and crawls up your back
- >>It bounces onto your head and waddles up the length of your arms
- No.
- >>The knife muffles your voice
- >>It is woefully ignorant of its situation, and yours
- You wouldn't.
- >>It violently pecks your thumb
- >>Your hand leaves the vine out of reflex
- >>It violently pecks your other wrist
- NO!!
- >>You lose your anchor, and manage to grab the chicken between your hands before you are carried off by the current once more
- >>You spit the knife out
- >>At first I was just hungry! But now I think I'll kill you out of principal!
- >>But before you can do that, you reach the periphery of the waterfall
- >>Gravity takes over
- >>You tumble
- >>The sound of rushing water muffles your screams
- >>How long have you been out? Celestia help you
- >>Your eyes crease open
- >>You are half buried in a bank of mud on the base of the fall
- >>You groggily awake
- >>Your knife is nowhere to be seen
- >>Your pant's leg is torn, and you are free from the log
- >>You are sore all over
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>Your focus shifts to a hen bouncing around in the mud bath
- >>You... son of a...
- >>You struggle to get up on your feet, fire in your eyes
- >>You are lost, you have no idea where you are
- >>The sun is almost down
- >>But by Celestia,
- >>Tonight I dine on poultry!
- >>You bring up your arms and claw your fingers leaping at your prey
- >>It floats up from the ground, and you land face first in the mud
- >>It lands on the back of your head and bolts towards the water
- >>You are quick to recover
- >>You are hell bound to have fried chicken
- >>The river at the base of the fall is populated by floating logs just like before, and the chicken skips along them to get to the other side
- >>You follow
- >>You leap on a log, but it isn't a log
- >>It has teeth
- >>It snarls at you
- >>You find yourself looking down the maw of a crocodile, holding its jaws open with your hands
- Shit, shit!
- >>You normally don't use such colorful language, but the others close in
- >>The chicken bounds away, unhindered
- >>You throw the crocodile in your hands out of the water
- >>One approaches you, and you rear your right fist over your head and give it a sock in the snout
- >>But this isn't a problem you can solve by punching it
- >>Multiple crocs grip into you with their teeth, and you are dragged under the surface
- >>The chicken comes back, as if to see what has happened to its pursuer
- >>Cluck cluck cluck
- >>It cants its head to one side
- >>B'GAWK!
- >>Your hand emerges from the surface, and you pull yourself up onto the bank
- >>You bleed, profusely
- >>Leeches feast on the buffet of your flesh
- >>You have bite marks all over you
- >>They took your shirt, leaving you with a bare chest
- >>You look down on the bird with stone cold hatred
- Run.
- >>The hen takes your advice and bounds off
- >>You emerge from the water, with a croc still latching on to your leg
- >>The pace of your run shakes it off
- >>The hen floats over a log, and you follow like an Olympic triathlon
- >>Your arms swipe closed once you are in range, but once again it just barely flutters from your grasp
- >>But however much it runs, you will be victorious
- >>You will have your dinner
- >>The chase goes on for what seems like an hour
- >>Over the hills, through the woods, and into open ground
- >>But it tires
- >>You don't
- >>You are Anonymous
- >>You dive forward
- >>Your hands reach
- >>You grab it
- >>B'GAWK
- >>You laugh like a maniac
- Hah
- Hehe~
- HAHAHAHA!!
- >>Your pupils shrink, your mouth wide
- >>You hold the hen up high as it screams and writhes
- >>You have beaten Equestria! You have obtained your goal
- >>You suddenly yank the fat bird down to chest level and slouch over it, your eyes wicked and your teeth bared like a crazed animal
- You!
- You... are... MINE
- I will not forgive, and I will NOT forget!
- >>Suddenly a voice calls to you
- >>“Oh, Anon~!â€
- >>You snap out of it
- >>Your surroundings suddenly come to you
- >>Fluttershy's cottage
- Huh?
- >>Fluttershy trots up to you, happy as can be
- >>“You found my cute little chicken!â€
- >>Fluttershy raises her hooves and pulls it from your hands, leaving an empty void where the chicken once was
- >>You shed a tear
- >>“Oh, Roxanne... you know better than to run off like that!â€
- >>Fluttershy scolds, and the hen happily glides over to the hen house out front like nothing happened
- >>Your lower lip quivers uncontrollably
- >>“Oh, Anonymous, you look awful!â€
- >>Fluttershy gazes at your wounds, your torn and absent clothing
- >>Wingboner engaged
- >>You are far too upset to notice
- >>Fluttershy takes your hand and guides you further in to her property
- >>“Come on, I'll be happy to fix you up a salad.â€
- END
- >>You have gotten by only because of Fluttershy
- >>She doesn't know it, but you are broke. Poverty stricken. You have no money
- >>It is all you can do to keep a roof over your head
- >>All of your bits for food have been redirected to this singular goal
- >>You have failed to hunt that chicken, but at least you got a salad
- >>Your stomach rumbles
- >>You refuse to actually ask anypony for help
- >>That's not the kind of person Anonymous is
- >>You bang on the door to a ramshackle shed on the outskirts of Ponyville
- Jack
- >>No answer
- >>Knock again
- Jack, we need to talk
- >>The door creaked open, and out popped the head of a fully grown horse
- >>He angled his head low, swishing it left and right before he pulled you in with a hoof
- >>The door shut behind you
- >>The warehouse was dark, save for a few beams of light from the windows
- >>You could see the dust particles as they went in and out of the light
- >>To the back of the room was a round table occupied by five steeds
- >>They were playing cards
- >>You knew them all by name
- >>They were your work associates
- >>As you walk in, they silently greet you with sinister smiles before returning to their game
- >>Jack steps in front of you
- >>“What're ya, crazy? Don't use my stage name out there!â€
- >>You hold up your hands, motioning him to calm down
- >>But he just leans in further
- >>“Ever since that little incident of yer's, the guard has been all over us like roaches! If they find me, they'll toin me to hamboigah!â€
- >>The other ponies look up in interest at the conversation, laying down their respective hands
- >>Or 'hooves,' as the case is here
- >>“This the guy, boss?â€
- >>One of them spoke up
- >>“Yeah, yeah. This'ere's Pug. He's the guy who massacred dat chump, William.â€
- >>Pug was your stage name in the fight stage
- >>It was short for 'pugilist'
- What I wanted to talk to you about
- >>Jack raised an eyebrow at you.
- >>He stood tall, and he was one of those business man types
- >>Fast talker, shrewd
- I'm broke. I need to fight again.
- >>Jack sneered and shook his head
- >>“Sorry, kid. It ain't in the'cards.â€
- >>Funny. His cutie mark was a hand of cards and a pair of dice
- >>Yeah, he was definitely your former manager, alright.
- >>“See, ever since that story about William the Conqueror being killed, all of our fight spots are under close watch. This town's dried up. The circuit is skipping Ponyville.â€
- >>You are disheartened
- >>“The guys an' I are gonna get heading to the next city, see? Rebuild our little shindig there.â€
- >>You open your mouth
- >>A hoof jabs into your chest
- >>“NOâ€
- >>The other ponies get up from their seats and meander towards you and Jack
- >>“You ain't coming with. Look, kid. You're a loose cannon. No manager in his right mind'll take ya. Too risky.â€
- >>All these ponies who participated in the fight circuit did so for the same reason you did. They couldn't get jobs elsewhere
- >>You effectively destroyed their livelihoods
- >>The guilt builds
- >>Another one of the stallions speaks up
- >>“Yeah! Why'd you have to do that, for? What, was one gallon of blood not enough for ya? Had to go for two?â€
- >>You cringe
- >>You still have not forgiven yourself for that day
- >>That life you took
- >>And you know for damn sure that Twilight hasn't
- >>That woman has been nothing but a sister to you
- >>She housed you, taught you the world, helped you determine right and wrong
- >>And even now she protects you. She hasn’t told any of your friends about it
- >>She doesn't talk to you anymore
- >>She doesn't want to associate herself with a murderer
- >>A hoof jabbing your chest wakes you up
- >>“Sorry, Kid. You were good. Real good. Good money maker, too. You fought like no one else in Equestria. You had the moves that made the crowd go wild. But ya weren't the best, and now yer' washed up!â€
- >>Your spirits drained. This was your last hope for income
- >>You can't do anything else that ponies can't do better
- >>You can't even read their language
- >>“...We had a really good thing going here, Pugâ€
- >>Jack spoke up again
- >>“But you're out of the game. What's stopping you from telling the guards where we are?â€
- >>The other stallions close in on you
- Wait, wait
- >>You plead, holding your hands at chest height
- >>“Sorry, Pug. Say 'hi' to William for me when you get to Tartarus.â€
- >>One of the other fighter ponies turned and hit you with a fully drawn buck in the stomach, causing you to fly into the wall
- >>The bang rattles your brain case, knocks you for a loop
- >>You try to get up, but your ribcage is busted
- >>In the ring with draft horses such as these, you were a glass cannon
- >>You could never afford to take too many hits
- >>And you just did
- >>You manage to crawl up to your feet, your right hand holding your side where a shreiking pain is restricting your movement
- >>You look up
- >>Hoof to the face
- >>Your head rocks back, lashing forward on the rebound only to get clocked by another, right in the eye
- >>You can't even track their movements
- >>Vision becomes wobbly
- >>You feel like you're going to vomit
- >>And you do
- >>Blood
- >>Your footing drifts, you helplessly sway and try to regain your footing, using your momentum to try and escape
- >>But it just leads you to another one of the unforgiving steeds
- >>A hoof hooks around your shoulder and pulls you into a headbutt, which you were not ready to accept
- >>Your ancestors are rattled
- >>Pegasus ponies hit like wimps, Unicorns were glass cannons who relied on their telekinesis to fight for them in most cases, or a good charge
- >>But these were earth ponies
- >>If you feared anything in the ring, it was an earth pony
- >>Another headbutt rattled your brain case, and you stumbled back
- >>In fact, you nearly lost your balance and fell back
- >>But you were nailed by a full draw buck right in your spine
- >>You fly forward and land on your head
- >>That is it. You're done.
- >>Celestia, thou hast forsaken your servant
- >>A hoof rests on your head
- >>“So long, Pugâ€
- >>The pressure increases
- >>They're going to execute you by crushing your skull
- >>You now appreciate the pain you lived off of
- >>Just before your lights go out, the window breaks
- >>“Hey!â€
- >>There is a racket
- >>“Hold on, Anon!â€
- >>Some sort of rough tussle
- >>But you can't look to see what is going on
- >>Consciousness escapes you
- >>Syncope takes over
- >>A dim blue glow fills your consciousness as your eyes crease open
- >>You groan
- >>Suddenly the pain comes back to you, and you flinch
- >>But that only causes your ribs to scream in pain
- >>Where are you?
- >>You panic
- Huh?! Ugn! No!
- >>You scrape and flail, but it is no use
- >>Your body is restrained in bandages and casts
- >>“Shhhâ€
- >>You slowly calm yourself
- >>“Anon, calm downâ€
- >>You take stock of your situation
- >>You're in a hospital
- >>It's night
- >>A look to your right reveals Twilight looking down at you
- >>Before you can say anything, she lowers a purple hoof to your mouth
- >>You look at her inquisitively
- >>She removes her hoof and points to your opposite side
- >>You look over, and Dash is in just as bad of condition as you are
- >>Fast asleep
- >>You hastily look over to Twilight and mouth 'What happened?'
- >>“She was looking for you after her shift and found you right when you went in to that buildingâ€
- >>“She was watching through the windowsâ€
- >>“She saw the whole thingâ€
- >>You turned your head to the sleeping Cyan angel
- >>“She saved you, Anonâ€
- >>She was willing to fight off a half dozen fighting stallions to rescue you?
- >>What a bro
- >>What a fucking bro
- >>But it did leave some questions
- >>You look back to Twilight, then
- She is so hurt, though. How...?
- >>“Applejack was in the neighborhood and carried you both hereâ€
- >>You cringe
- >>Twilight rolls her eyes
- >>“She didn't do anything, Anon. Said it wouldn't be honest if she took you unconsciousâ€
- >>You look down the length of your body
- >>You recall the letter from Applejack a while ago. It said the same thing when she floored you that one time
- >>“She also said that she owes it to a good friendâ€
- >>You then remember her last rape attempt, where you talked her down by using the 'F' word. 'Friend.'
- By Celestia
- >>Your voice is a whisper. Your lungs fluctuating brings you pain
- >>You cringe
- >>“Yeah, well,â€
- >>Twilight speaks up
- >>“You deserved this. Rainbow didn't.â€
- I'm so sorry
- >>“Yeah, you areâ€
- >>You wince
- >>Twilight walks away from you, her hooves clopping against the cold ground of the hospital
- >>She stops and looks at the sleeping Rainbow
- >>Twilight shakes her head and continues, letting her head hang low
- >>She leaves and closes the door behind her
- >>Why didn't you say anything?
- >>What could you say?
- >>What could you do?
- >>Celestia's purpose for you was twisted
- >>For a moment you reasoned that she has forsaken you
- >>But, ultimately, you have no one to blame but yourself for how things turned out
- END
- >>What the hell was Celestia doing?
- >>You were all aboard for this. It was her gift.
- >>To save you from your old life at the measly price of your humanity
- >>Your friends could not see it, but these days you were nothing more than an automaton of flesh and bone
- >>It gets you what you want, sure.
- >>You can't remember a whole lot of your old life
- >>But what Celestia allowed you to relive was so horrible that, whatever it was, you were willing to submit to her will in exchange for not having to endure it
- >>You didn't have the strength, and you wouldn't have the strength to face the three dimensional world of bland colors and the economic decay of matter if you had a million years with which to prepare
- >>Celestia didn't have to put this idea in your head. Not this time.
- >>She didn't even have to force nightmares anymore
- >>She was content to allow your own fear to do the work for her
- >>All she needed to do was occasionally sensor your memories
- >>But you were content to allow her. You owed it to her
- >>She was your savior, worthy of your unconditional love and worship
- >>But today, Celestia might have been taking notes
- >>Today, there was doubt
- >>You looked to your left, seeing your best bro in her sorry state
- >>She was just as wrecked as you were, if not more so
- >>Celestia's light was only just now beginning to overtake Luna's as the morning dawned
- >>It was strange. More so than ever, she looked like an angel
- >>A little cyan, quadrupedal cherub
- >>Both of you being in hospital beds really, really sucked
- >>You're the only one who should be
- >>But then,if she hadn't interfered, you wouldn't even be in a hospital bed
- >>You'd be dead
- >>Should you complain? You are torn.
- >>Pain racked your chest once more, and it soon spread to your head
- >>You wince
- >>You hiss
- >>But you can't take your eyes off of Rainbow, who lay there in dreamless sleep and has since you first arrived
- >>You hoped against hope that she wasn't in some sort of long term coma
- >>You pull your sheets up around you and lay back in your less-than-comfortable bed, wondering just how they managed to get a human sized frame and mattress for you on such short notice
- >>An hour later you are alerted
- >>Dash writhes
- >>She turns
- >>You are very familiar with unconsciousness at this point. You have visited that world so many times in what must have been two, maybe three months
- >>You were prepared when Dash regained her functionality
- >>“Bwaha! Anon!â€
- Shhh
- >>“-But?!â€
- Shhh
- >>She calmed down, struggling to open her eyes
- We're fine
- >>Dash cringes in pain as she feels things that you cannot even comprehend going through her pony body
- >>“Anon,â€
- >>She is somewhat more mouthy than you. Always has been.
- >>Even in the thralls of unimaginable pain, she persists
- >>“Anon, are you...?â€
- I'm fine, Rainbow.
- >>Just now does she take you in, leaning out of her bed somewhat to get a look at you through creased eyes
- >>“Thank Celestiaâ€
- >>You aren't sure just how much of this Celestia had planned for you
- >>You smiled at her, trying to ease her mind
- Thank you.
- >>You place emphasis on the word 'you.'
- >>Rainbow lays back in her bed
- >>“But how did we...?â€
- Applejack, apparently.
- >>Rainbow cringed and turned her head to look at you
- Supposedly she didn't do anything. Twilight was here when I woke up and explained it all.
- >>You give Rainbow a sideways glare
- You shouldn't have followed me like that.
- >>Rainbow made a face
- >>“Someone has to save your butt! You get in so much trouble.â€
- >>You look down to your sheets and try to come up with an answer
- >>“Hey. I discovered you, remember? So I gotta protect ya.â€
- >>You look to her again and stifle a chortle
- >>It hurts to laugh
- And I thank Celestia every day for it.
- >>“Yep! You're my little homo.â€
- >>You cringe and grip your sheets in your fists
- ...Sapien. We've been over this
- >>Rainbow apparently had no trouble laughing
- >>“Bwa haha!â€
- >>She snorted
- >>Her voice was immature, but it was cute
- >>She waved a hoof down at you
- >>“I just like seeing how you react. It's funny!â€
- >>Rainbow is a troll, now. Nice.
- >>You smile at her and chuckle, infected by her positive attitude
- >>You were genuinely happier when she was around. More so than any of the others.
- >>Rainbow was there to show you Ponyville
- >>She was there to deflect the first rape attempts without a hitch
- >>She was there to stand between you and Celestia when she was intent on banishing you
- >>And now she was in hospice rags because she is so loyal
- >>Because she is such a bro
- >>“You won't ever get rid of me, Anonâ€
- >>You look at her for a moment
- >>“No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will alwaysâ€
- >>“Alwaysâ€
- >>“Have your backâ€
- >>She shouldn't say that
- >>She doesn't know the extent of your sins
- >>An hour later, you two are feasting on the hospital food served for breakfast
- >>It sucks
- >>And it isn't that fucking chicken
- >>But it's food all the same
- >>And the water is good
- >>You have a hard time eating, anything having to do with your torso brings you pain
- >>But you are so hungry
- >>Always so hungry
- >>The last thing you had to eat was a salad Fluttershy made for you a day and a half ago
- >>...Why did that chicken have to be Fluttershy's?
- >>Before you two were finished with your meals, a nurse escorted Pinkie Pie and Rarity into the room
- >>Pinkie was bouncing in her step, as usual
- >>Rarity had a genuine look of concern
- >>They must have been here for Rainbow; you hardly know these two
- >>Very little interaction after that first few days
- >>You remain silent and eat your food while Rarity tends to Rainbow, asking just what happened
- >>But you lost sight of Pinkie
- >>Good Celestia
- >>“Hi!â€
- >>She pops out from above you, her neck stretching down so she can look you right in the eyes
- DJUS!
- >>You jump in your seat, which causes you insane pain
- Awh-ow-ow!
- Pinkie! Please
- >>She rises from the floor on the immediate left side of you
- >>“Oops! Sorry. Here, I brought you a present!â€
- >>She hoofed a pink cupcake onto your table. You move your salad bowl.
- >>Celestia; you were so sick of salad.
- >>“It's a Pinkie Cake!â€
- >>You excuse her ADHD
- Wow, Pinkie! Thank you, I don't know what...
- >>It suddenly air bursts into a cloud of confectionery cream and confetti
- >>You find yourself suddenly realizing that your physical well being is in danger with her proximity
- >>Your broken bones and braces would not withstand all this reactionary jumping forever
- >>“Oops, sorry! That was the one for when you get betterâ€
- >>She explained, and then hoofed a second cake onto the little table in your lap
- >>“Bwahaha! Pinkie, you are SO random!â€
- >>Rainbow spoke up and derpfaced
- Thanks, Pinkie
- >>You lift a hand
- >>Hesitation stays you
- >>But you smile and reach to her scalp, roughing up her pink main with a playful pat
- >>She beams a wide smile and hops in place
- >>“Hey, Anon, why don't you come to Sugarcube corner anymore?â€
- >>As you wipe off the mess left by the previous gift, you recall how much Pinkie terrifies you
- >>How her little 'welcome wagon' knocked you unconscious
- You scare me.
- >>Pinkie falls silent and looks at you
- >>“Really?â€
- Yes.
- >>She leans in and presses one eye against yours, beaming into your soul
- >>“...Really?â€
- Yes.
- >>Your answer won't change, no matter how many times she asks
- >>She backs off and laughs in her shrill laugh
- >>“Well! There's only one way to take care of that!â€
- >>There's that music again
- >>You slouch
- >>This shit happened with Fluttershy, too
- >>It grew louder, and louder
- >>Pinkie looked so happy with herself, and she opened her mouth and inhaled to start singing
- >>“Hey, Anon?â€
- >>It all stopped, and I looked over Pinkie to Rainbow
- >>“...My word, dahling what ever were you doing with those ruffians?â€
- >>Rarity asked. Apparently they had been asking you a couple of times but Pinkie had you distracted
- >>Your appetite leaves you and you grab the sheets in your lap
- I'd rather not...
- >>Dash spoke up
- >>“Hey man, not cool.â€
- >>You looked to your Cyan savior
- >>“I'll always have your back, Anon. But I want to know what happened.â€
- >>You purse your lips and redirect your gaze to the cupcake Pinkie gave to you
- >>Yeah, Dash does have the right to know
- They were business associates of mine.
- >>Rarity cocks her head and her eyebrow
- It's not something I'm proud of.
- >>You were not usually a man of this many words. You did what had to be done, and that was that.
- >>Explaining yourself was hard
- >>“Anon...â€
- >>Dash furrowed her eyebrows
- I know, I know
- >>You give a deep sigh
- >>They all glared at you intently
- Alright, this is what happened
- >>Later that night, after all the physical checkups, you and Dash were returned to your beds
- >>She was silent
- >>The silence persisted for a ridiculously long time
- >>Celestia's light gave way to Luna's
- >>You lay your head down, and after she thinks you've fallen asleep she takes up a book and starts flipping through the pages
- >>You wait for a few moments, gathering your courage
- Hey, Dash
- >>There's no answer
- >>You sit up on your elbows
- ...Dash?
- >>She gives you a sideways glance before returning to her book
- Come on, Dash. Let me at least say I'm...
- >>“That's Rainbow Dash, to you.â€
- >>Silence falls, and you lay your head back down on the pillow
- >>Great. Just great.
- >>The next morning, the Doctors unwrap Rainbow's wounds and pronounce her free to go after two days in the Ponyville Hospice
- >>You, on the other hand?
- >>Well, human physiology isn't one of their strengths
- >>They need more time
- >>As Dash leaves her bed, she doesn't even look at you
- >>In fact, she goes about her positive, competitive 'can-do' nature like you never even existed
- >>This kills you
- >>“Thanks, Doc!â€
- >>She trots out of your view without even so much as saying goodbye
- >>You are left, alone. The lights are dimmed by the nurse before she closes the door
- >>You are starting to realize that Celestia has plucked you from a life of hatred and damned you to an even worse fate
- >>There, you had no friends
- >>There, you at least had a job
- >>There, you had potential
- >>Here? You had friends, but now they all hate you
- >>Here? Your are poverty stricken
- >>Here? There is no redemption for what has transpired
- >>Dash, of all people. Dash! Has chosen to forsake you
- >>Twilight has as well
- >>And the others
- >>Can Celestia see your thoughts right now? Because if she could, she should be taking notes
- >>You were her little human
- >>And you are starting to doubt her intentions
- END
- >>You have a bed
- >>You have a roof over your head
- >>You have food
- >>And your physical needs to survive are being adequately met
- >>It would seem that Celestia has smiled upon her faithful servant
- >>That this little trip to the hospital was yet another pre-planned 'thing' coordinated by her
- >>Well, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't
- >>Twilight hates you
- >>Rainbow, who was all about this whole “I got your back, Anon. No matter what†now pretends you don't exist
- >>Life is just that much less worth living
- >>You would have never imagined a pain like this in your former world
- >>There, you had no friends and no family
- >>You were a nobody. That's why Celestia picked you
- >>You wouldn't be missed
- >>At one time, you were overjoyed that you – out of the millions of humans – fit the bill for her >>experiment
- >>Now you hate her for it
- >>Several days after your admission to the Ponyville Hospice you are allowed to leave
- >>Granted, with a cast over your left arm and a brace on your back that restricted movement
- >>Turns out that you are a pretty touch bastard after all
- >>After the beating you received, you thought for sure you would be in there for twice as long
- >>You return home, which is still there, thankfully
- >>You have to wonder if Celestia has a hand in any of that
- >>Not that it matters
- >>You let yourself in before shutting your door
- >>Turning the lock
- >>Securing the deadbolt
- >>Slide the two bar locks shut
- >>Secure padlock
- >>Snap combination lock closed
- >>You head into your kitchen and take stock of your food situation
- >>It doesn't look good
- >>Over the course of the next several days, there is the occasional knock on your door
- >>You don't answer
- >>You just have no fucks to give anymore
- >>About anything
- >>But your food reserves are dried up
- >>You have precious few bits remaining
- >>You feel better. You discard your castes
- >>It is time to actually go outside
- >>You put in the combination to your lock
- >>Unlock the padlock
- >>Unsecure the two bar locks
- >>Undo the deadbolt
- >>Disengage the normal lock
- >>As you push the door open, you are bathed in the warmth of Celestia's light
- >>It burns like hydrofluoric acid
- >>Time to get this over with
- >>You move through the market place
- >>You do not look back, but you know eyes are on you
- >>It's been days since anypony has seen you
- >>And, before that, you were penned up in a hospital
- >>There is an aura of intimidation about you
- >>No one gets too close
- >>You are sure you know why
- >>You stop when a mint pony, a unicorn, crosses your path
- >>She wears a curious smile on her features
- >>You take note of the harp on her flank
- >>“Hiya!â€
- >>She dares to greet you
- >>You half smile, lift your hand in greetings
- Hey, th...
- >>Suddenly, a second pony zips between you two
- >>This one was slightly more colorful, and possessed a flank icon of three wrapped candies
- >>“Lyra, get away from him!â€
- >>This new one growls at you, causing you to recoil
- >>“BonBon...â€
- >>“Hey, you! If you know what's good for you, you won't go near her again!â€
- >>You hold your hands up to chest level in submission
- >>And watch as 'Lyra' is escorted away by this 'Bonbon'
- >>This day is starting smoothly
- >>A while later, you find yourself at a booth selling basic foodstuffs
- >>You can afford nothing more
- >>Given you know how to cook pancakes, and they are easy to make stretch out for a while with your ingredients, you start gathering those
- >>Present them to the booth keeper
- >>He looks upon you from a moral plateau
- >>You can tell that he is aversive towards you before he even speaks a word
- >>“That'll be forty bitsâ€
- Outragious.
- >>You state this flatly, not having the energy to assert yourself at a higher volume
- >>“Take it or leave it, pal.â€
- >>You furrow your eyebrows
- Is this how you do business with everypony?
- >>He scoffs at you
- >>“No, just murderers.â€
- >>You recoil
- >>If he knows, how many know? Twilight has not told anyone. She's a saint.
- >>Dashie? Oh, God, no...
- >>Would Dashie do that to you?
- >>You put the thought out of your mind
- >>You were the only human in the fighting circuit
- >>All it would have taken is one pony, anypony, to see it and then blab about it
- >>“You buyin'? Otherwise I got customers.â€
- >>You snap back to reality and swipe your coin purse, leaving in a huff
- >>Hours later, you finally manage to get the things you need
- >>Sans one ingredient
- >>You carry your bags with you, thinking you would make a quick stop to Fluttershy's cottage
- >>She has been exceedingly open to you, and you know she'll let you borrow the flour that you need
- >>You come to the bridge leading up to the cottage, finding Fluttershy tending to her animals in the distance
- Hey!
- >>You smile and life a hand high, letting her know you're there
- >>She looks up, rather hastily, pupils shrinking to pinpricks
- >>“H...hiâ€
- >>You take a step onto the bridge
- I was wondering if I could borrow something
- >>She takes a step back towards her house
- ...Fluttershy?
- >>You take another step forward
- >>She takes another step back, not wanting to be within a dozen or so yards of you
- >>She squeaks, helplessly
- >>Hard to believe that just two weeks earlier she was begging you to spend the night with her
- Is something wrong? Fluttershy?
- >>“Do...don't come any closer!â€
- >>She breaks down and shivers, shutting her eyes
- >>You lower your bags and take another step forward, at the height of the bridge
- Fluttershy! What's wr...
- >>You suddenly find yourself tethered, the force of a tightening material knocking a breath out of you
- >>You almost fall before you look over your shoulder to see an apprehensive looking Applejack
- What?
- >>“You heard the lady, Anon. Not another step forward.â€
- >>You turn to face the orange applejack, confused
- But, I...
- >>“Ah think you better be heading home.â€
- >>You have a feeling you know what this is about
- >>You look over your shoulder to Fluttershy
- >>Then back to Applejack
- >>She is beaming daggers at you
- >>She will not let you 'hurt' fluttershy
- What's all this about?
- >>You less 'ask' and more 'demand' to know
- >>Applejack tugs you off of the bridge before dropping the rope from her jaws
- >>“We heard everythin', Anon. I just... I just didn't think you were that kinda pony.â€
- >>Your hand tightens around your bags
- >>The fabric whines under the stress of your grip
- >>With your free hand, you throw off the lasso
- >>You wanted to take one last look at fluttershy, and then decide against it
- I'm not a pony
- >>You start for home, walking right past Applejack
- And don't you forget it
- >>That night, with a still empty stomach, you ponder your situation in the light of a single candle
- >>Fluttershy... oh sweet, innocent Fluttershy
- >>Applejack, the bucking machine with an unreasonable attraction to you, has decided that you are a threat. A THREAT.
- >>Twilight, the one who has been nothing but a sister to you, now sees you as an undesirable
- >>And then there's Rainbow Dash. Her betrayal stings the worst of all.
- >>Your friend
- >>Your bro
- >>You remember her words;
- >>“I discovered you, so I have to protect youâ€
- >>“You'll never get rid of meâ€
- >>“No matter where you go, or what you do, I will alwaysâ€
- >>“Alwaysâ€
- >>“have your backâ€
- >>Around town, they treat you like an alien
- >>But then again, you are an alien. Aren't you?
- >>They call you a murderer
- >>It's true, isn't it?
- >>That diamond dog knew the risks of the fighting circuit. Still, you tried so hard not to seriously hurt anyone
- >>It's just not the kind of guy you were
- >>Were
- >>Celestia has wrecked you
- >>Celestia has completely annihilated any chance that you might ever be happy again
- >>But then again, that was never her intention
- >>She just wanted you to obey her
- >>Be her little human
- >>You stand up from your seat and move across the kitchen
- >>Your eyes are full of tears for what you have gained and lost in such a short span
- >>You open a drawer
- >>And produce the instrument that will fix it all
- >>A nice, large knife
- >>It'll fix everything!
- >>You laugh to yourself
- >>A sick, twisted chortle
- >>But soon it grows into a shrill rush of adrenaline
- >>Your insane cackling echoes through the halls of your home
- >>They want a monster?
- >>You will give them a monster
- END
- >>Cold steel ran across your inner arm
- >>You hissed as the blood slowly trickled out and stained the knife
- >>There were two other shallow cuts on your arm
- >>You were reveling in the pain
- >>Another day had passed
- >>You're thinking this out
- >>How to do it? Who's first?
- >>...Who deserves to be first?
- >>The light of Luna bears witness to your madness
- >>There was a knock on your door
- >>At first you ignored it, but you could ignore it no longer after the fourth round of knocks
- >>You pass the knife into the hand of the wounded arm, your left
- >>You put in the combination to your lock
- >>Unlock the padlock
- >>Unsecure the two bar locks
- >>Undo the deadbolt
- >>Disengage the normal lock
- >>You open the door and look down to find three small ponies looking yo at you
- >>Fillies
- >>If you are a giant to normal ponies, you are a colossus to these
- >>They seem happy to see you
- >>“Hi!â€
- >>The lead one greets
- >>She was brown. A Pegasus.
- >>“We're the cutie mark crusaders!â€
- >>The next one spoke up.
- >>Earth filly. You've seen her around when you worked at the orchards.
- >>Apple Bloom. Yeah, that was it.
- >>The third one spoke up, and your eyes shifted to her
- >>“Our mission is to work together to find out who we are, and what we're supposed to be!â€
- >>This one was white. She possessed the swirling horn of a unicorn
- >>You are silent for a moment, examining all three of them
- >>No trace of a mark on them, but it was possible that you just couldn't get it at this angle
- What do you want
- >>You have no patience with them
- >>Kids or not, you were busy
- >>“We noticed that you didn't have a cutie mark!â€
- >>Said the brown Pegasus.
- >>“So we wanted to extend a special invitation to you!â€
- >>Said Apple Bloom
- >>“This is Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and I'm Sweetie Belle!â€
- >>The white one made the introductions
- >>But you just glared down at them
- >>They smiled, but they eventually became awkward and forced
- >>They were stumped by your silence
- >>You shouldn't talk to strangers.
- >>You close the door on them
- >>Turn the lock
- >>Secure the deadbolt
- >>Slide the two bar locks shut
- >>Secure padlock
- >>Snap combination lock closed
- >>Turn away from the door when, immediately, there's another knock
- >>You halt, look back at the door for a moment, and decide to ignore it
- >>You move back towards the kitchen
- >>Knock knock knock
- >>You halt once more and bite your lower lip
- >>Face goes red
- >>Tea kettle whistling sound effect
- >>What happens next tips you over the edge of your patience
- >>Repeated knocks, sounding like an entire class room of kids were throwing baseballs at your front door
- >>You put in the combination to your lock
- >>Unlock the padlock
- >>Unsecure the two bar locks
- >>Undo the deadbolt
- >>Disengage the normal lock
- >>You open the door
- WHA...?!
- >>You are cut off when you recoil. The crusaders have taken a formation where they stand on one another's shoulders
- >>They don't, at all, match your height
- >>But they're trying
- >>Sweetie Belle, at the bottom, wobbles back and forth
- >>Scootaloo is at the top, eying you
- >>How cute, they're trying to intimidate you
- >>“Hey! That wasn't very nice! You didn't even tell us your name!â€
- >>You resist the urge to kick Sweetie Belle out from under them
- Anon. Now beat it.
- >>You start to close the door again, but Sweetie Belle gives out
- >>All three of them yell as they fall in to your door
- >>The door slams shut behind them
- >>You give them the moment they need to re-situate themselves, and they are immediately fascinated by your home
- >>“Wow! Everything is so big!†says Apple Bloom, and she walks off towards the kitchen
- Don't...
- >>Scootaloo starts jumping up and down on your living room couch, using her wings to achieve some air time
- >>“Hey! This is awesome!â€
- GET OFF OF THA...!
- >>Sweetie Belle trots up your stairs
- >>“I bet he has an awesome closet!â€
- Don't you dare go in my room!
- >>Your eye twitches
- >>Your shoulders hoist up around your head, very aggressively
- >>“Hey! What the heck? There's no food in here!â€
- >>You hear Apple Bloom cry out
- >>“Were these made by my sister?â€
- >>Sweetie Belle yells down the stairs
- >>“Do you live by yourself, Mister Anon?â€
- >>Scootaloo asks
- >>With your free hand, you snatch her out of the air by her tail and set her down on the floor
- I do. Now get o-
- >>“Hey! Hey girls!â€
- >>Scootaloo calls, and the others come running in a flash, taking up formation right next to her
- >>“Anon lives alone!â€
- >>Scootaloo reports
- >>“His house is a mess!â€
- >>Sweetie Belle reports
- >>“He has no food!â€
- >>Apple Bloom reports
- >>“I know!â€
- >>Scootaloo has an epiphany, and all three join in a group hug before you
- >>They all shout in unison
- >>“WE'LL BE HUMAN TAKER-CARER-ERS!â€
- Nope
- >>.avi
- >>You swipe them all in your grip in one fell swoop, clenching each of their tails in your hand before you start carrying them to the door
- >>They all object
- >>Verbally
- >>Loudly
- >>You ponder making them your first victims at this rate
- >>But Apple Bloom gasps, which silences the rest of them
- >>“Your arm!â€
- >>She points a hoof
- >>A gentle stream of beautiful crimson pours from the three shallow cuts in your left arm
- >>They also notice the knife that drips with your blood, the handle of which is now slick with it
- Your parents would be very upset with you if they knew where you were
- >>You put emphasis on the word 'very.'
- >>You discard your knife, which hits the floor with a splash of blood
- >>You open the door
- >>Prepare to toss these kids out
- >>You are blocked, however
- >>You look up
- >>And up
- >>A massive, brick-like bipedal canine fills your door way
- >>In a deep voice, he rasps
- >>“...You the one who took down William?â€
- >>You look him down and then back up to his eyes
- >>The crusaders also look at the figure
- Yeah, what's it to you?
- >>A massive, boulder-like fist rams into your face
- >>You don't even know what happened
- >>Dreamless sleep keeps you in its warm embrace
- >>The Crusaders all fall in a heap on the floor, only to be scooped up by a gang of Diamond Dogs, >>their mouths stuffed with handkerchiefs to keep them quiet
- >>“He was my brother.â€
- >>You just can't catch a break
- END
- >>Twilight stormed into your house through the open door
- >>“Anon?â€
- >>Morning has come, the light of Celestia in full force
- >>Twilight was on the search, along with her friends, for the missing Apple Bloom
- >>They split up an hour before
- >>Twilight received a tip from a certain Mint Green pony that they were heading towards your house
- >>Naturally, given the circumstances, she was worried out of her head
- >>What she found there horrified her
- >>A chrome knife encrusted with blood
- >>And from it, a trail of dry red splotches on the ground
- >>“Sweet Celestia!â€
- >>She reared, her lip curling with disgust as she gazed at the discarded tool
- >>Assumptions filled her purple head
- >>She trotted in place, swaying her head this way and that
- >>“Oh, no!â€
- >>“Oh no no no!â€
- >>She galloped at best speed out of the house to get her friends
- >>Light flooded your consciousness once more
- >>And once again, it was dim
- >>The hospital, again?
- >>You could only be so lucky
- >>You made very few sounds as you came to
- >>Your face. It was... ow
- >>I mean, really 'ow'
- >>You got knocked for a loop by something
- >>You lift a hand to your cheek and took stock of your situation
- >>You were inside of a stone alcove, surrounded by loose dirt
- >>A mine?
- >>The only way out was a series of iron bars guarded by a humanoid figure
- >>You shook your head and focused your thoughts
- >>It was a rough-shod jail cell, and your guard was an average sized diamond dog
- >>Other than that, you knew not where you were
- >>You saw that the guard had a key ring
- >>You got up on your knees, managing your breathing to make as little noise as possible
- >>You moved only when the bored guard shifted his footing
- >>A delicate operation, this was
- >>You get within range, and he is none the wiser
- >>Until you see his ears reflexively pivot to face you
- >>Quickly your right hand rockets out to grab the guard by the collar
- >>“Whua?!â€
- >>You shove him forward, pressing your body against the bars
- >>He flings like a ragdoll
- >>You hurl yourself back with all your might, going so far as to yank your arm back in addition
- >>The The pull and torque creates adequate acceleration
- >>He slams against the iron bars
- >>His head whiplashes right into the hard surfaces
- >>He falls over like a sack of potatoes
- >>You quickly take the key chain and undo the lock to your cell and stumble out, making sure to afford a glance in all directions before moving forward
- >>Sweet Celestia
- >>You come to a junction, and it's a maze
- >>Some sort of underground tunnel system
- >>There were passages in the walls
- >>In the floors
- >>In the ceiling
- >>So many possible directions
- Sweet Celestia
- >>You vocally repeat your thoughts
- >>You pick a direction, and go
- >>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDPC7CFv5hA
- >>How much time has passed? You don't know
- >>You feel as if you are suffocating
- >>It's so dry down here
- >>You're so thirsty
- >>Your throat is pinched with pain
- >>Blood seeped from an open cut in your head a while ago right into your left eye, forcing you to shut it
- >>You're tired
- >>You're hungry
- >>You're confused
- >>Fatigue doesn't even begin to describe it
- >>On top of that, you weren't planning thisshit
- >>You've lost a lot of blood
- >>You're woozy, and at any moment you feel like you could blow chunks
- >>You round a corner, right into the backs of two Diamond Dog guards
- >>You quickly stumble back and press against the corner
- >>You cannot fight, now
- >>Your only talent, and it would be suicide to use it here
- >>Shit, where do you go, now?
- >>“Hear about the diamonds?â€
- >>One spoke up
- >>“What about em'?â€
- >>“We ain't gonna have to pull the wagons anymore. They got some ponies to do it for usâ€
- >>“About time! I was getting sick of hauling that junkâ€
- >>You hear everything
- >>“Yeah, they're pretty small but they'll manageâ€
- >>Should you care?
- >>Really, should you?
- >>No, you don't feel like you should
- >>And, yet, there's a feeling of responsibility that overtakes you
- >>Celestia, damnit
- >>What are you going to do?
- >>They were frustrating, pretentious, obnoxious
- >>They're ponies, and you have no reason to feel any sympathy for them
- >>But... they're kids
- >>Celestia has removed memories of your childhood, effectively destroying yours
- >>But they still have lives to live
- >>Damnit, damnit, damnit
- >>You can't believe that you're even considering this
- >>The guards move off on their patrol, and you follow – being more cautious than you ever have been in your entire life
- >>By Celestia – who you still recognize as your one and only God;
- >>These tunnels are winding, and forever
- >>They are eternity
- >>More than once you have had to stop and sit, waiting for your patrol to get moving
- >>And sometimes you have had to start following other patrols as a matter of circumstance
- >>It gets really difficult when patrols overlap
- >>You are going nowhere fast
- >>This situation doesn't get any better
- >>Until you happen to cross a wooden gate
- >>You peer into it, and it looks like it's an armory
- >>You look to the left, and then to the right
- >>And you cannot afford to miss 'up,' here
- >>Once the guard dogs are out of ear shot, you open the gate and then close it behind yourself
- >>You find yourself in a richly equipped room with spare helmets, cuirasses, and spears
- >>You inspect the workmanship of the armor and note that the Dogs are alarmingly intelligent
- >>They employ hinges and have pauldrons on their armor
- >>It indicates that they must come in contact with things capable of hitting them in the shoulder from the top
- >>This tells you a lot about them
- >>Their use of bolting and riveting weakens the armor, but it's probably done for a practical reason
- >>Some of the spears use discarded diamonds for heads
- >>Hard, but brittle
- >>And therefor useless to you
- >>Immediately, you go about dressing yourself in diamond dog armor plating
- >>You grab a spear
- >>Rough yourself up with some dirt
- >>A lot of dirt, actually
- >>While you prepare yourself, you hear the gate latch
- >>A diamond dog workmaster walks into the room, and you look over your shoulder and freeze
- >>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQiDzSWLIm4
- >>You start to sweat
- >>Oh, Celestia
- >>You aren't ready
- >>Holy shit
- >>The work master looks at you for a moment
- >>The span of time is volitile
- >>He analysis you
- >>The armor is way too big for you
- >>You don't have a tail
- >>And some of your skin is still uncovered
- >>Shit
- >>“What are you doing?!â€
- >>He calls in a shrill voice
- >>“Standing there like an idiot!â€
- >>He cracks the whip, lashing it out right at your feet
- >>You skip back and rear up on one foot, raising your arms defensively
- >>You don't want to get whipped! Fuck that noise
- >>Even Fetishshy looks good by comparison
- >>Oh, Celestia, what were you saying?
- Uh
- >>You are at a loss for words
- >>“Get your butt to the deep quarry! The boss is about to execute the prisoner!â€
- Oh! Yar, that sounds good.
- >>You get on your fists and feet, running as much like a gorilla as possible, like you've seen them sometimes do
- >>The taskmaster crosses his arms and shakes his head
- >>“Freakin' inbreeds...â€
- >>Oh, Celestia, what you wouldn't do for some water right now
- >>It's been over an hour since you woke up
- >>This goes beyond being thirsty
- >>The discomfort is overwhelming
- >>Your mouth feels like cotton
- >>Your fists are all sorts of scratched up
- >>The fatigue is bearing down worse and worse
- >>You have been swept up by a group of miners who are rushing to the quarry where they were ordered by their masters
- >>This place must be a network of SEVERAL quarries
- >>This just keeps getting better and better
- >>You finally get a break when you pass a hallway that is lined with prison cells
- >>There is one guard posted there
- >>And, as you enter the hall way, you find Sweetie Belle in one
- >>You look at the next one
- >>Scootaloo
- >>And, in the final cell, there is Apple Bloom
- >>They are crying. Now bawling, but they are sniffling and they are leaking tears
- >>Upon their backs you can make out the impressions of a harness
- >>These girls have already been used for manual labor
- >>How long were you out?
- >>You march up to the stationed guard
- Shifts' over, bud. Get to the quarry
- >>The guard dog, who is built like a brick but also a little smaller than you, scratches the side of his head with a nail
- >>“That... doesn't seem right.â€
- Hm?
- >>“...I just relieved a guy ten miâ€
- >>You clock him with a hard uppercut while he isn't looking, crouching down low and using your legs to further drive the punch up past his chin
- >>His helmet flies off, and he falls
- >>The girls all shreik
- >>“AAAH!â€
- >>They're like a bad chorus
- >>You hold out your hands, shaking them
- Shh! Shh! Shut up!
- >>They don't
- >>Can they possibly be dumb enough to think you're a diamond dog?
- >>You growl and then take your helmet off, whipping your shaven head free of sweat
- Here, see?
- >>They look at you in unison for a moment
- >>Then, at the same time, they go back to wailing
- >>You slouch, eyes half closed
- >>You are not amused
- It's Anon!
- >>“We know!â€
- >>Apple Bloom says, which catches you by surprise
- “You were so mean, and the knife...â€
- >>You cringe
- I'm sorry
- >>You repeat, feeling like you need to
- I'm SORRY
- >>They stop crying
- We're getting out of here
- >>“...But how?â€
- >>Sweetie Belle asks
- >>You take the key ring and begin to unlock and open their cells one by one
- I don't know.
- But I promise you, we'll all see Celestia's light again.
- >>This idea was retarded
- >>You waddled back and forth, trying to maneuver down the hall
- >>This armor was so big on you, you managed to tuck three fillies between it and your shirt
- >>You looked down the collar every once in a while, making sure they were alright
- >>“Move your arm!â€
- >>“It smells in here!â€
- >>You frown deeply
- >>“How about you move your face?â€
- >>You knock a fist against the chest piece, rattling their heads
- Hey! How about you all shut up!
- >>“Sorry, Anonâ€
- >>They all spoke in unison
- >>The weight was terrible
- >>You could no longer walk straight
- >>At this rate, it was just a battle of attrition
- >>Either you were going to get out, or fatigue was going to kill you
- >>At least the dogs were all waiting stupidly in that quarry
- >>Friggen idiots haven't realized that you escaped yet
- >>It was just then that you are whizzed into the wall by guard dogs darting passed you
- >>“The prisoner has escaped!â€
- >>FFFUUUU
- >>The guards are in too big of a rush to notice that you are going in the opposite direction
- >>“Anon? Is everything alright?â€
- Shut up
- >>you quickly hiss
- >>You stumble through the hall, hoping that moving in to the fire will yield a better result than moving away from it
- >>Your breathing is heavy, and it bothers the three fillies nestled against your chest
- >>Perspiration covers your face
- >>You are pale. You don't have enough blood for this
- >>You're starving
- >>You're choking
- >>You're thirsty
- >>You're weighed down
- >>You're stressed
- >>But you made a promise
- >>And you intend to keep it
- >>Your eyes drift closed
- >>You keep stumbling forward
- >>When they open again, you find yourself spilled into a large room
- >>A pit, carved out of multiple stepping layers of rock
- >>It is illuminated by torches, and the brilliant glitter of exposed gemstones
- >>Lining the various steps surrounding the pit are hundreds of Diamond Dogs
- >>Oh, Celestia, you fumbled into a colosseum
- >>“Hey! What're you doing here?!â€
- >>You turn to face a large Diamond Dog
- >>It's huge
- >>Maybe six and a half feet tall
- >>Broad, muscular, wide. Easily three hundred pounds or more on you
- >>It's the one who knocked you out
- >>“You're supposed to be finding me that ape who killed my brother!â€
- >>Never have you been so intimidated since your first encounter with Celestia
- >>Your mouth hangs open, you glare at this colossus of muscle and matter, densely packed cartilage and bad attitude
- >>You take a step back
- Oh, uh... let me just...
- >>You shift away from him, put on a fake smile, and nudge a finger toward the way you came in
- ….get right on that, sir.
- >>But the Crusaders... oh, those Crusaders
- >>“MOVE YOUR ARM!â€
- >>“NO! YOU MOVE YOUR WING!â€
- >>The large diamond dog spread his arms out, palling his hands into fists
- >>“What did you say to me?!â€
- >>His voice is bombastic and causes loosely packed soil to fall from the ceiling
- >>You think fast
- I, uh, I...
- >>Suddenly the three fillies start fighting one another inside of your armor
- >>You rock back and forth, trying to maintain your balance
- >>Sweetie Belle falls out of the armor and heaps at your feet
- >>Then Scootaloo
- >>And then Apple Bloom
- >>The huge Dog watches, eyes wide
- >>Your breastplate falls apart and off of your body, and your helmet flips off just as you start to regain your balance
- >>“Oops...â€
- >>Scootaloo says
- >>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O1ixMU2Plg
- >>You touch your fingers together and look up to the Dog, who beams an evil glare at you
- >>The crowd goes wild
- >>Neither you nor the crusaders share their enthusiasm
- END
- >>How do you keep getting yourself into these situations?
- >>You stand before a hulking colossus that wants you dead
- >>At your feet lay three fillies, one of whom is related to Applejack
- >>Not that you care about Applejack, right now
- >>You take a step back and clench your teeth
- >>So much time, maybe two hours, down in this dustbowl and it comes down to this?
- >>You're in no condition to fight, but they slammed the gate closed on you
- >>There is no escape
- >>This four to five hundred pound monster is intent on your destruction
- >>And all around you are the cheers and jeers of its peers, waving their arms like it was a sporting event
- >>The three fillies shake, they quiver in fear
- >>They are frozen in horror as they look on the Diamond Dog
- >>There is no hope
- >>But you made a promise
- >>And you will die before they do
- Girls, take off
- >>You command, keeping your gaze, hateful and venomous, locked on your challenger
- >>Just like the old days
- >>“A..Anon...â€
- >>Sweetie Belle stutters
- >>Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are able to summon up the courage to grab her by her forelegs and drag her off
- >>They head as far across the large fighting pit as they can from you and he
- >>The pit at the bottom of the Colosseum is large, so they should have no trouble avoiding collateral damage
- >>The crowd is vicious, but you and he face off in a stare down for approximately ten seconds before he speaks up in his raspy voice
- >>“My name is Tecumsehâ€
- >>You furrow your eyebrows
- >>“What's yours?â€
- Pug.
- >>He snorts aggressively, slamming his fists against the ground as he edges closer and closer
- >>“No. Your real name. I want to know who killed my brother before I end you.â€
- >>You ball your fists. They vibrate with blood pressure. Your knuckles go white.
- I am Anonymous
- >>He snorts again
- >>“Anonymous, huh? Well... I'm going to make this as long and painful as I can.â€
- >>You sneered at him
- >>You acted tough
- >>A real badass
- >>But you were pale from blood loss
- >>Your left eye was encrusted shut from blood streaming down. This makes your left side blind
- >>You're hungry
- >>You're thirsty
- >>Your throat is sore
- >>You are choking from the course air of the underground
- >>“Any last words, Mister Anonymous?â€
- >>You use this second to analyze your opponent. With those long arms, he had range over you
- >>Just like his brother, you will be best served getting inside
- >>He could floor you in one good shot. You've already experienced this
- >>You cannot, under any circumstances, try to block this guy
- >>He will overpower any sort of attempt to block and you'll get floored, such was the size and strength disparity
- >>You doubted that you would even be able to counter
- Your brother knew the risks.
- >>The poor crusaders didn't know what was going on. This dialogue went over their heads
- >>They hardly knew you
- >>They didn't know these guys
- >>They were just in the crossfire
- >>You throw up your dukes
- >>He goes for an overhand
- >>You try to slip to the inside, but get nailed
- >>In one shot, you are on the ground, your head bouncing off the stony surface
- >>Your cut bursts open, and yet more blood seeps out
- >>The crowd goes crazy
- >>The three fillies gasp, hugging one another
- >>Hope drained from them instantly
- >>You lay on the ground, your mouth hanging open and your eyes closed
- >>Your body tells you 'that's it, I'm done.'
- >>Your brain agrees. 'Sorry, anon. You've pushed us too hard for this shit'
- >>You relax, just... a little sleep, that's all. Just a little sleep.
- >>A foot scoops under your torso and kicks, flipping you onto your back
- >>“My brother was tougher than that. I can't believe he died to a worthless like you.â€
- >>Slowly you force yourself to get up, even if your body resists cooperation
- >>He raises an eyebrow
- >>The crowd, as ever, is wild. They're crazy for it.
- >>Blood. More blood for their entertainment
- >>Your hatred for the ponies seemed so far away, now
- >>Their betrayal was not even a factor
- >>If you couldn't do this, you were so dead. There would be no more life, even if yours wasn't really worth living
- >>Human greed
- >>Maybe Celestia was taking notes
- >>As if it mattered
- >>“Anon! Watch out!â€
- >>Apple Bloom called out
- >>Your wherewithal was so shot, that you could not evade the right hook that slammed into the entire left side of your face
- >>It sounded like thunder, and sent you reeling
- >>What came next was a body shot, a hooking punch that caused you to double over and actually lifted you off the ground before you fell on your hands and knees
- >>You vomit
- >>The familiar taste of blood fills your mouth
- >>The sand and stone runs red with your blood
- >>Thoughts are hazy
- >>Double vision
- >>You used to be the Ponyville champ. Now look at you
- >>Target as big as a barn. Few weeks ago you were begging for something like this
- >>This sucked, too. You liked to emphasize counters
- >>If you can't block, it was hard to counter
- >>You crawl back up to your feet
- >>Come on, body. We die if you give out, here
- >>You put up your dukes, like a fuckin champ
- >>You're Anonymous
- >>You aren't going to go down that easily
- >>Another overhand is thrown at you
- >>You manage to slip to the outside, and put up some sort of offense
- >>However futile it may be
- >>The last few minutes have been a blur
- >>It all melded in to itself
- >>You did not know what was going on
- >>You could not think ahead
- >>You could not think behind
- >>You live second by second
- >>He has figured out your blind left side, so whenever you see a muscle on his right side flinch you get cautious
- >>He has also noticed this, so he's starting to throw feints
- >>He's hitting you far more than you've hit him, and his hits are each like a bullet train
- >>He goes for a straight punch, since he has you at range
- >>It's with his right
- >>You slip to the outside, using your size to maneuver out of his direct view
- >>You're trying to force him to track you
- >>He really committed himself to that one, your eyes shoot open
- >>His right side is completely open and unguarded
- >>You throw your right out in a hooking motion, throwing your hips into it
- >>Then a left hook
- >>Then a right
- >>Then a left
- >>You lay into him, you close the gap and Your left hand latches his shoulder, your right tucks down by your hip and sockets up into his kidney
- >>Again
- >>And again
- >>And again still
- >>You push off of him to observe the damage you've done
- >>And you are immediately deflated when, given the pest chance you can hope for, he is just staring at >>you before he slowly turns to face you
- Well...
- >>Your left eye is black at this point in the fight
- >>You put your dukes up, and go back on the attack
- >>“This is a totally lost causeâ€
- >>Scootaloo observes, cringing as you get thrown down to the ground again
- >>“Girls, we need to think of somethin'!â€
- >>Apple Bloom speaks up, hitting her forehoof to the ground
- >>Your body slaps the ground just in front of them before being dragged off to the massacre machine for yet another round
- >>They recoil
- >>“Yeah, but Anon is kinda a wimpâ€
- >>Scootaloo observes again
- >>You didn't hear that. Good thing, too. It was the last thing you needed to hear
- >>“I don't wanna stay here forever!â€
- >>Sweetie Belle speaks up
- >>“We won't. This is what we'll do:â€
- >>Scootaloo organizes their grand strategy
- >>But you're getting destroyed
- >>Your face is a train wreck
- Uhhh...
- >>Is about the only sound you can produce on your own free will
- >>You're a better fighter than this guy. You know you are.
- >>But with all these handicaps? You were done before you even started
- >>He lunges forward at you, and you instinctively swing in low and drive an uppercut into his chin
- >>It sends him flying back
- >>By harmonizing the legs, hips, shoulders, and elbows you punch far in excess of your weight
- >>The crowd falls silent
- >>It was your first good hit on this guy
- >>He gets right back up
- >>And the crowd goes wild again
- >>Fucking dogs, every one of them
- >>This guy is just PHENOMINAL
- >>It's like fighting a sentient boulder
- >>You stagger back
- >>Hope is starting to waver
- >>“That was a good shot. But I bet you're out of gas, Anonymous.â€
- >>He was right
- >>You were fighting your own body to follow your commands more than you were focusing on fighting this guy
- >>He walks forward, no longer even worried that you will fight back
- >>“Well, it's been a real hoot. But your time is done. Say hello to my brother when you see himâ€
- >>He lines up a shot on you
- >>This is it
- >>You look death in the eye
- >>You are Anonymous
- >>You will not back down
- >>But your attention is grabbed when Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom dart behind him
- >>Suddenly, Scootaloo
- >>You don't know how she did it
- >>She somehow leapfrogged off your shoulders, and right into this guys' face with a karate kick
- >>He is surprised, nailed right in the nose
- >>He staggers back, his ankles come in contact with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle
- >>He falls on his back
- >>You are left wondering just what happened
- >>Scootaloo jumps on his chest and sticks out her tongue
- >>“Try picking on someone your own size! Blawawawa!â€
- >>She shakes her head left and right, flinging her tongue all over
- >>“Gah!â€
- >>Tecumseh roars a beastly roar and tries to close his arms around her, but she skilfully darts away
- >>Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom all get in a side-by-side formation and show their bottoms to the large canine, lifting their tails and taunting.
- >>“Nya nyanya nyanya NYA~!â€
- >>He scrambles up and bolts after them
- Is...is this a joke?
- >>You mutter to yourself The three take off in the direction of the gate keeping you all penned up
- >>He follows
- >>Sweetie Belle pulls a hard right
- >>Apple Bloom pulls a hard left
- >>Tecumseh lunges with all his strength
- >>Scootaloo screeches to a stop and ducks
- >>Tecumseh, the big ball of mass, sails over the young filly and slams into the gate, busting it open
- >>You can't believe it
- >>You just can't fucking believe it
- >>“Anon! Come on!â€
- >>Scootaloo bounds over Tecumseh
- >>Followed by Sweetie Belle
- >>But Apple Bloom waits for you
- >>“Come on, Anon! What are you waiting for?â€
- >>You suddenly blow bloody chunks on the ground
- >>Okay, there you go, you feel like you can move again
- >>You move with Apple Bloom and bound over the fallen opponent
- >>The crowd is furious about their lost show, and you can feel the hive rumble with motion
- >>More to the point, Tecumseh has gotten up and is bounding after you
- >>“ANONYMOUS!!â€
- >>He roars
- >>You are quickly overshooting the fillies, and so you scoop all three of them up in your arms as you pass
- Oh, Celestia; Oh, Celestia
- >>You chant
- >>“I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!â€
- OH, CELESTIA; OH, CELESTIA
- >>You have no clue where you're going
- >>You're a rat in a hostile maze
- >>You've lost sight of Tecumseh, but you know he is somewhere behind you in those tunnels
- >>Suddenly, you come to a pitfall and stop right at the edge
- >>Loose rocks fall in, and as they disappear into the abyss you never hear them hit bottom
- Oh, Celestia
- >>“Come on, girls. The trail leads this way.â€
- >>You know that voice
- >>On the other side of the chasm, Twilight Sparkle appears from a tunnel
- >>She is followed by Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity and Pinkie
- >>“Apple Bloom!â€
- >>Applejack cries
- >>“Sweetie Belle! Sweetheart!â€
- >>Rarity shrieks
- >>“Alright, Anon. You drop those fillies RIGHT NOW!â€
- >>Twilight rears herself, and her horn begins to glow
- >>The crusaders are now more confused than ever
- Is that the way out?
- >>Hah! Wouldn't you like to know?
- >>Rainbow Dash taunts in her fucking broken-ass voice
- >>You look back in the tunnels
- >>The rumbling gets louder
- >>“ANONYMOUS! YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME!â€
- >>You gulp
- >>You put the fillies down and hold Scootaloo out as far as you can
- Here! Hurry up!
- >>Getting over their distrust of you, for now, Rainbow Dash zips over and gets Scootaloo, bringing her to the other side
- >>You perform the same with Sweetie Belle, and then with Apple Bloom
- >>“Alright, Anon. Can you make the jump?â€
- >>Twilight asks. They all heard the impending doom approaching
- >>You suddenly feel a little woozy, and you vomit a waterfall of blood
- >>Something inside of you was cut
- >>The ponies on the other side of the chasm all recoil as they see you wobble around
- I promised em'...
- >>You are proud of yourself
- >>So happy, now
- I promised em'... that they would see light again
- >>You smile, dumbly
- >>Your skin is bleached white
- >>Tecumseh finally finds you
- >>“Anonymous! No more running!â€
- >>He roars with all the fury of a V-12 diesel engine and charges you
- >>“What? No, Anon! Wait!â€
- >>You don't know who it was, but you get tackled, hard
- >>You and Tecumseh vanish into the abyss
- >>It's okay, body
- >>You have done good by me
- >>You have done good by me
- >>And you, mind
- >>You can finally sleep
- >>Today is a good day to die
- >>You are happy
- END
- >>Gravity was a pretty cool guy
- >>Cold, indiscriminate
- >>Neutral
- >>As you tumbled down and down,
- >>You wondered to yourself what ever came of Tecumseh
- >>Did he fall faster than you? Slower than you?
- >>You never heard a splat
- >>What will happen to you?
- >>Light fades quickly
- >>As you fall through the abyss, your muscles tense up
- >>The rush of air is relaxing, but not knowing when death will hit you is not
- >>You will smack the bottom eventually
- >>Hell, at these velocities, the side will be enough to do you in
- >>You just sail through a black void, guided by the laws of physics
- >>You kind of hoped for some closure in all this
- >>That your life would flash before your eyes, you would remember everything
- >>And then you would be done
- >>But it looks like you were robbed of that, too
- >>So, what did you want your last memories to be?
- >>With a blank canvas and an unknown amount of time, you are more free now than you had ever been before
- >>You remember when you first came to Ponyville, how Pinkie scared you so much
- >>Popping out from impossible directions
- >>Violating your personal space in the most innocent of ways
- >>You wonder if she understood that you were dodging rape bullets every day
- >>She made you so uncomfortable
- >>But she was so innocent, so full of energy
- >>Being mad at her for that was like being mad at bees for stinging you
- >>They're bees, that's what they do
- >>You longed for just one more snack, one more meal, from Sugarcube corner
- >>What you wouldn't give for one more of those pinkie cakes
- >>She was always laughing
- >>Even after you explained everything to them, she was still in high spirits
- >>You hardly knew Pinkie
- >>But she did make your life better just by existing
- >>Rarity was a sweet girl
- >>A little on the obsessive side, but you knew why
- >>Luna explained it. It really wasn't their fault
- >>She wasn't invasive
- >>You just threw away her cards and photographs when she sent them to you
- >>They were cute enough
- >>Sealed with kisses
- >>Normally had some cheesy romantic saying
- >>An invitation to dinner
- >>And then one or more lewd, suggestive pictures
- >>You didn't tell spike. He and Rarity had some sort of thing going on and it wasn't your place
- >>Rarity also went out of her way to help you, though
- >>She took the time to learn how to stitch corners and clothing to fit human proportions
- >>She had to learn the cultural norms involved with human clothing
- >>It must have been like an entirely new school of thought for her
- >>But she did it for you
- >>And she did it for free
- >>Oh, Rarity; why you so generous?
- >>Applejack? Well, you always thought you could live without her
- >>But, again, it wasn't her fault. Luna explained that much
- >>She was driven crazy by this physical magnetism by you being alien, or some such
- >>Whatever; she was this world's equivalent to a furry
- >>The rape attempts were always rough, and ALWAYS intrusive
- >>You had to buy so many locks, re-key your house so many times
- >>So many doors needed to be rebuilt
- >>Her schemes were always so straight forward
- >>Bucking down your door and hogtying you
- >>Locking you with her in the apple cellar
- >>One time, she even challenged you to a match in the fight circuit
- >>Her plan, there, was to beat you up so bad that you couldn't fight back, later
- >>But something always happened
- >>And not just when Rainbow was around
- >>She refused to take you while you were unconscious, which was a place you've seen a lot of these days
- >>Also, that night when she all but had you in the apple cellar, you were able to talk her down
- >>Dropping the 'friend' bomb seemed to deliver an emotional crit
- >>Despite all of that, she and her brother, Macintosh, gave you seasonal work to help you earn an honest living
- >>Honesty. That's what she was all about
- >>Honest with her feelings, honest with her ethics, and always honest with you
- >>Well. As honest as rape could be, anyway
- >>Fluttershy was always the coy one
- >>She was afflicted by the same thing Applejack was
- >>But she was much less direct about it, and on the whole easier to associate with
- >>You're still upset about that chicken, you have to admit
- >>But she was always there for you
- >>From day one, she cared deeply for you
- >>She acted like a mother
- >>When nopony could understand you
- >>When you could understand nopony
- >>You could communicate audibly with Fluttershy, because of her affinity to 'animals'
- >>What a sobering thought
- >>You still remember that night where it stormed
- >>You still don't see that the big deal was, but apparently ponies hate storms
- >>You went to her house to borrow sugar
- >>She violently pulled you into her house and eventually got you to stay the night
- >>But even though you were paranoid
- >>And rightfully so
- >>She didn't try anything
- >>In fact, the only rape that occurred that night was her constant talking
- >>Of all of them, she is the most curious about you
- >>Your past
- >>Who and what you are
- >>She has been nothing but kind to you
- >>Then there was Twilight Sparkle
- >>You looked at Twilight as a big sister, always
- >>She always went so far out of her way for you
- >>She cast that spell that allowed you to communicate with them
- >>She housed you in her library until you got your own place
- >>She kept you fed
- >>She taught you how the world works
- >>You were always able to go to her with your problems
- >>And no matter how mad she was, you knew that she was doing it all out of love for you
- >>In fact, in those first few days, she was so stressed that her mane was always out of sorts
- >>It got to the point where you went out of your way to make everything you possibly could as easy for her as you could make it
- >>Even though she thought it was barbaric, she was actually willing to try and find a solution to getting you food when she thought that meat was the only thing you ate
- >>When she finally turned her back on you, that hurt bad
- >>But not as much as Dash
- >>Dash was the one who discovered you after Celestia brought you here
- >>From day one you owed her your life
- >>From saving you from that bear
- >>Taking you to fluttershy
- >>...saving you from Fluttershy
- >>And then taking you to Twilight
- >>Before you could talk to her, and before she could talk to you, you had only one way of communication
- >>She giggled at your physical antics
- >>You recognized that
- >>She put a hoof out to you
- >>You bumped it
- >>And so began this whole chain of events
- >>That brohoof started your new life
- >>From then until now
- >>You could have just disregarded the ponies, really
- >>What could Celestia have done if you refused to play her game?
- >>But that instant, when your knuckles collided with her cyan marshmallow hoof, was the single best moment of your life
- >>And you wouldn't take it back for the world
- >>Dash has always been there for you
- >>Always had your back
- >>Even going so far as to talk down Celestia on your behalf
- >>Celestia! Something you could never do even for yourself
- >>Dash personified the concept of loyalty
- >>She was the definition of a bro
- >>Hard to believe that a few short hours ago you were ready to go on a killing spree
- >>That seemed so far away now. Like you would never actually even think of such a thing
- >>Because now that you think about it, your life wasn't all that bad
- >>And, hey, you helped the Cutie Mark Crusaders
- >>Those obnoxious, pretentious, frustrating... fillies
- >>“Anon!â€
- >>The voice of Dash echoes in your mind
- >>Did you redeem yourself in the eyes of your friends?
- >>Maybe, maybe not
- >>You just wished you could have told them how much you cared for them
- >>You never really did that
- >>You never really let them know just how much they meant to you outside of just being casual friends
- >>You'll just admit it to yourself right now
- >>You loved them
- >>You loved each of them
- >>But didn't matter now
- >>It was so dark down here
- >>“Anon!â€
- >>You're hearing voices again
- >>It would all be over soon
- >>You didn't even want to think about Celestia right now
- >>Suddenly, you feel a sharp thud as you are immediately stopped
- >>You instantly pass out
- >>Is this death?
- >>If it is, you are satisfied
- >>END
- >>Story of your life
- >>The instant you realized that you existed, you were hit with an incredible amount of pain
- >>You feel displaced from time
- >>All you know is that you should be dead
- >>So, are you?
- >>Your senses come back to you one at a time
- >>Syncope is a harsh, cruel mistress
- >>Voices
- >>You hear them, but they are like oils running together in indecipherable splotches on the canvas of your mind
- >>Have you gone mad?
- >>You are terrified
- >>It is human nature to fear the unknown
- >>What is more associated with the unknown than infinite blackness?
- >>You have been down this road too many times
- >>Light floods into your consciousness once more
- >>You groan
- >>Very slowly do you start putting pieces together
- >>It's bright. Too bright
- >>Your eyes shut closed once more and you arch your back, trying to turn away from the pain
- >>But alas, you cannot escape it
- >>“Did he just move?â€
- >>“Holy cow! I didn't expect that!
- >>You mutter something incoherent in response
- >>“Come on, Anon. You can totally do it!â€
- Water
- >>You borderline demand
- >>“What's that?â€
- Water
- >>“You heard him! Someone get him some water!â€
- >>You try to move your arms, but they won't budge
- >>“Anon, don't...â€
- >>Your neck won't move, either
- >>You make another attempt to open your eyes
- >>Slowly, but surely, you manage to take the world into view once again
- >>Looming over you is a pair of violet eyes housed in a mulberry face
- >>“Anon? Anon, are you with us? How is it possible?â€
- >>She gets shoved out of the way and replaced by a pair of teary rose eyes mounted in a light blue head
- >>“Anon! Speak to me, please! Say something! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything! I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry...â€
- >>You feel groggy
- >>You are sore all over
- >>And you are tired
- >>But you are alive
- >>And you have no clue how it was possible
- >>Finally, you're able to start putting stuff together
- >>Your neck is in a brace
- >>Your arms are bandaged and suspended off the bed
- >>Your right leg is lifted above your heart and is in a cast
- >>Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are with you
- >>You give as much of a smile as you can, which it turns out is only a shallow half smile
- >>Twilight pulls Rainbow away before she takes her place, looking into her eyes
- >>Her brows were furrowed. Always so serious
- >>“Dash, get the nurse. Anon? Anon! Stay with me!â€
- >>You can't. Already going to black again
- >>“Anon, you lost a lot of blood. How do we fix you? You HAVE to tell us.â€
- >>You hear Dash zip out of the room during all this
- >>A doctor scrambles into the room
- >>“After three days? Are you kidding me?â€
- >>“Doctor, he's passing out again!â€
- >>It feels like an instant to you
- >>Your eyes crease open
- >>The room isn't as bright as it was before
- >>How much time has transpired?
- >>You try to look for a clock on the wall
- >>No such luck
- >>You see a doctor standing at the foot of your bed, speaking with Twilight and Dash
- >>“I'm sorry, girls. He's just lost so much blood.â€
- >>Dash leaps up at this, taking to the air and fluttering in place
- >>“If he needs a transfusion, I'll do it!â€
- >>The doctor shakes his head
- >>“He's not like us. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do...â€
- >>You do your best to writhe and babble something incoherent
- >>This gets everyone's attention
- >>“AGAIN?! Nurse! I need you in here, NOW!â€
- >>Dash flies over you and cups your face between two hooves
- >>It is not the best thing you have ever felt
- >>You've been punched by them too many times
- >>“Don't leave me, Anon! Don't you dare do it!â€
- >>Sorry, Dashie
- >>“Anon? Anon?â€
- >>Your strength is expelled
- >>The cold embrace of unconsciousness grips you yet again
- >>This is getting really, really old
- >>You pop your eyes open once more when you are able
- >>It is dark
- >>You can't see anything other than the foot of the bed, and then whatever peripheral vision you can muster
- >>You are alone, it looks like
- >>“...Not quiteâ€
- >>A voice speaks to you
- >>Did something read your mind?
- >>You reason that you are hallucinating
- >>But then a gentle racket of hoof beats brings Princess Luna into view
- >>She takes a secondary position, however, as Celestia herself appears before you
- >>You are not sure if you should be terrified or what
- >>You can't even defend yourself like this
- >>Not that you would be able to defend yourself, anyway
- >>“It seems that you have left quite the impression on my studentâ€
- >>Celestia speaks up.
- >>The normal smartass smirk that she has when speaking to you is absent
- >>Luna goes about using her magic on things which you cannot see
- >>You try to move your head to see what's going on
- >>“Don'tâ€
- >>Celestia's voice causes you to relax once more
- >>“You are accompanied by Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. They have not left your side in days.â€
- >>You are genuinely surprised to hear this
- >>You attempt to form words
- >>“Don't speak. Save your strength.â€
- >>You shut up
- >>“Anonymous, I have come to... apologize to youâ€
- >>This is going to blow up in your face somehow, you know it
- >>“The last letter that my faithful student sent to me was the longest letter I had ever received from her. It spoke of lessons learned in trust, loyalty, forgiveness... and sacrifice.â€
- >>You chew on those words for a moment
- >>The royal continues
- >>Luna uses her magic to spread blankets over Twilight and Rainbow Dash
- >>“I must say, Anonymous, you have... shocked me more than once in your stay here.â€
- >>She struggles with her wording. Apparently this isn't easy for her
- >>“I may have... underestimated youâ€
- >>She admits
- >>This causes you to raise an eyebrow
- Huh?
- >>You grunt inquisitively
- >>“Your capacity for selflessness is truly a virtue that I missed. Anonymous, my sister and I watched as you spiraled into the depths of insanity, all because of me, and then...â€
- >>She trailed off
- >>Lune took her side again and finished for her
- >>“...You came back.â€
- >>Celestia nodded
- >>“It speaks to us of your strength, the strength of your humanity, that you can fall so far only to claw your way back, despite everything.â€
- >>There was an awkward silence
- >>You couldn't really say anything
- >>And even if you could, what would you say?
- >>Luna takes the initiative
- >>“Anonymous, we...â€
- >>She gets cut off by her bigger sister
- >>“Anonymous, I cannot undo the damage that I have done. No matter how much I now want to. But I'm ending the experiment now. You have taught me more than I thought possible. Your life is yours to live, and I hope you will be able to accept my apology, someday.â€
- >>Luna remains silent
- >>Celestia canters over to you
- >>The excessively long horn jutting from her forehead glows, and she touches it to your forehead
- >>You make a quizzical expression
- >>You feel no different
- >>“Be well, Anonymous. Be well.â€
- >>She vanishes in an instant
- >>Luna remains behind, however, and looks at you
- >>Cool and collected this whole time, she finally breaks it to issue you a broad smile
- >>“Fare thee well, Anonymous. We will meet again.â€
- >>She vanishes just the same as Celestia, and you soon after fall asleep
- >>“This doesn't make any senseâ€
- >>“Sure it does! This is Anon we're talking about!â€
- >>Twilight and Rainbow converse in the library
- >>You are with them
- >>“No, I'm pretty sure it doesn't. How could he just make a full recovery over a single night?â€
- >>“Because it's ANON. We're talking about the Anonymousaurus Rex, here!â€
- >>You helped Spike shelve books while they talked. He took the low shelves, you took the high shelves
- >>“I guess, it just bothers me, is all. I get that Anon is tough but this is just...â€
- >>Twilight was penning her own letter, her magical aurora controlling a quill and paper
- I have good friends
- >>Twilight looks at you
- >>“Huh?â€
- There is no doubt in my mind.
- The power of friendship had a heavy hand in me being alive right now.
- >>You turn to face Twilight and Dash and afford them an innocent smile before you return to your work
- >>Dashie has done nothing but smile since you got out of the hospice
- >>You remember her teary eyes
- >>There was no way that you were going to let her down
- >>“Well... I need to get to work. Hey, Anon? After I'm done do you want to go relax?â€
- >>You slide a book in its place
- Sure! Sounds great.
- >>Dash bids you all so-long and takes off out the door
- >>Twilight finishes her letter, and hands it to Spike for delivery
- >>“I'm going to have to get to the market place. Will you two be alright while I'm gone?â€
- >>You and Spike both mutter an 'uh-huh' in unison
- >>Satisfied, Twilight moved to the door
- >>She stops and looks back at you
- >>You stop what you're doing and double take, returning her gaze
- >>“Welcome back, Anonymous.â€
- >>You smile at her
- >>She returns the smile and goes about her stated business
- >>Soon, it is just you and Spike
- Hey, Spike
- >>“Yeah?â€
- Think you can send one more?
- >>“Sure, I guess.â€
- >>You hand him a rolled up scroll, and soon it is whisked away in green flame
- >>Dear Princess Celestia
- >>Last night I learned that just because you're an adult, doesn't mean you can't learn new things. In particular, I have learned the value of forgiveness. Both in receiving, and in giving. Though it can be difficult to forgive people for their transgressions, it is important to remember that often times the strongest friendships are forged in the fires of adversity.
- >>In my world, saying 'sorry' is often taken for granted and discarded, rarely considered. I don't think that is the case, here. We do have a saying, though; forgiveness is human. Evidently, forgiveness is equine as well.
- >>Everyone makes mistakes, from the most humble of men to the most powerful of princess. Having the strength to forgive someone is a cornerstone to preserving, and building, new and lasting relationships that will stand the test of time.
- >>Forever thankful,
- >>Anonymous
- End
- >>It's been a few days since you've last been nearly killed
- >>God damn, this world was dangerous
- >>But it's okay. Through it all, you have friends
- >>Friends who have forgiven you for your sins
- >>And a benevolent ruler
- >>One who you have forgiven for her mindfuckery
- >>Since then, you remember things
- >>Not everything, of course
- >>She did say that she could not undo the damage already done
- >>And she sounded sincere enough for you to believe her
- >>She mistook your species as heartless creatures to be used for tools
- >>But your actions have earned the respect of those around you
- >>And you couldn't be happier
- >>There's still the job situation to think about
- >>Yeah, the princess has offered a few times to take care of it
- >>But it's your conservative vein again
- >>You want to earn your money
- >>You want to be proud of it
- >>You want each bit to reflect your blood, sweat, and tears
- >>Celestia offered you a position in the palace as one of her personal attendants
- >>You have no desire to leave Ponyville, or your friends
- >>She understood
- >>She then offered you a job as a royal guard, on permanent station in ponyville
- >>But after everything you've been through?
- >>You had a reputation as one of the superior fighters in Equestria
- >>But you were so tired of it
- >>Too many battle scars, too many times knocked unconscious, too much drama
- >>No, you would like to just live a quiet life in the company of friends
- >>A quiet life
- >>So you find yourself working with Pinkie Pie
- >>Fuck
- >>“Hey, Anon! Pick up the pace, slowpoke!â€
- >>“Anon, I need another cookie sheet. You got one for me?â€
- >>“Hey! Your hands make you good at this!â€
- >>“Be a dear and clean up a spatula real quick, will you?â€
- >>“Anon, we need that silverwareâ€
- >>You hastily work over a bubbling sink
- >>Frilly pink apron shielding you
- >>Your back is sore from slouching over for so long
- >>The counter is way too short, you have to be on your knees the whole time
- >>Wash and dry, wash and dry, wash and dry
- >>Dishes, dishes, dishes
- >>You were offered this job at Sugarcube Corner, and eagerly accepted
- >>You think you did something like this back in your world, but the memory is so warped and corrupt
- >>Really, it's just static at this point
- >>Good Celestia, these ponies generate a lot of dishes
- >>It's just something you never think about until it's in front of you
- >>“Anon, dear, you missed a spot on this plate.â€
- >>You looked over to see Ms. Cake with a pristine plate, save for a small splotch
- Sorry, m'am. I'll take care of it.
- >>And so your day goes
- >>Yeah, fighting regularly got you wounded
- >>You got beat up pretty bad
- >>Even if you won most of the time, you hardly ever escaped unscathed
- >>But this?
- >>Oh, Celestia! If this wasn't an honest living, you didn't know what was
- >>The light of Luna begins to overtake Celestia's
- >>You are sweating, leaning over an empty sink
- >>Mr. Cake made his way over to you
- >>“Hey! Not bad, Anon! We'll see you next week, alright?â€
- >>You nod
- >>The job is only part time, which sucks
- >>But holy crap, you can't imagine doing this full time
- Yes, sir
- >>You stand on your two feet and prepare to leave
- >>You hang the apron up
- >>Grab your coat
- >>Get ready to leave the back door
- >>Pinkie Pie bounds up to you, smiling as she always does
- >>“Hey, Anon? I just wanted to say...â€
- Thanks, Pinkie.
- >>She is thrown off by your interrupting her
- >>She actually settles down for a second to look at you, questioning your response
- >>You spare her a sincere smile before you open the door and take off
- >>You are appreciative that they're so genuinely sorry
- >>But you are, too. And you have plenty of reason to be
- >>...and you don't want to revisit those darker days
- >>No tears
- >>Only dreams, now
- >>You move down the street
- >>It's way past the curfew for most of the ponies
- >>Every once in a while you will see one coming home from work
- >>But the streets are far from the hustle and bustle of the day
- >>You see, now, why Luna was – is – so lonely
- >>You stop in your tracks and look up to the sky after thrusting your hands in your coat pockets
- >>The sky is a dark blue sea of stars
- >>But you can still see a few blank spots in the sky
- >>A star appears
- >>There she is. That's Luna
- >>Another appears
- >>You watch her work. You cannot see her, but you know that she is there, arranging the night sky
- >>Her responsibility is astronomical in scale
- >>Any earthly science that you remember truly is powerless, here
- >>You wish you could speak to her, to reach up and tell her that she is not alone. But it is not your place
- >>With a sigh, you return to the ground and continue moving forward to your home
- >>“Tehe~!â€
- >>You don't get two steps in before a giggle stops you
- >>Paranoid, you whirl around and hunch over, ready, peering at every surface behind you
- Pinkie?
- >>You wait
- >>No answer
- >>You turn and continue home. But now, you are tense
- >>You come to your house
- >>Relief
- >>You produce your key from your pocket and start fiddling with the knob
- >>“Hehehe~â€
- >>But then there's another giggle that rings out behind you
- >>You jump, key falls to the ground
- >>You whirl around again, raising one fist in defense
- >>By Celestia, if Pinkie is fucking with you...
- >>You hear breathing behind you
- >>Instinctively, you whirl around again
- >>No one
- >>Look down
- >>You leap back in surprise
- Jumpin' Jehosaphat!!
- >>Your arms flail up uncontrollably as you recoil
- >>“Hi~!â€
- >>You lower your guard
- >>It's... that mint colored pony from the other day
- >>You relax. A little bit
- Oh... hi, there.
- >>There's an awkward silence
- >>She cants her head at you, wearing an innocent smile
- Hey, uh... were you following me?
- >>“Yuh-huh! All day!â€
- >>Okay, whoa
- Who are you, again?
- >>“Your BIGGEST fan!â€
- >>Stay cool. This isn't creepy at all
- Uh...
- >>You start kneeling down to pick up your key
- >>She gasps, eyes go wide, and she leans down to watch the interaction between your hand and the key
- >>You can feel her breath on your hand
- >>“That's so cool...â€
- >>OKAY, time to bring this shit to a close
- Well, uh... if yo...
- >>“Call me Lyra!â€
- >>You pause for a moment before you force a smile and flip a finger pistol at her
- Lyra! If you'll excuse me, I need to...
- >>“Oh! Let me get that for you!â€
- >>Her horn glows and a shimmering aurora of arcane power drives an exact duplicate of your key out of her mane
- >>She opens the door with it and waves you in with a smile
- Now hold on one second! Where did you...?
- >>“I found it~!â€
- >>You recall that when they were giving you back your clothes when you left the hospital, they were unable to find your house key on the key ring
- >>It cost you money that you didn't have in order to get it replaced
- >>BULLSHIT
- >>You snatch the spare key out of the knob and get inside
- >>“Can I come in?â€
- Uh,
- No.
- >>You close the door in her face
- >>You have a feeling that you're in for another catastrophic chain of events
- END
- >>Glorious weekend
- >>You don't have anything to do
- >>You've had a pretty good week leading up to this
- >>Well, save for being in the hospital
- >>And that thing last night with Lyra
- >>That was really creepy
- >>Celestia's sun overtakes Luna's stars
- >>A rooster crows
- >>A beam of light traces along your floor from the nearby window until it lands on your face
- >>You cringe and turn your head
- >>But the sting of the shine eats at your skin, and your eyes crease open
- >>Only to find a pair of orange eyeballs nestled inside of a light green face staring straight down at you
- >>You immediately flinch, fully awake, and scream like a little girl
- >>As a defensive reaction, you pull your covers up to your head and shiver
- >>It's way too early for this shit
- >>“Hi~!â€
- >>You lower your sheets from your eyes and take another look
- L...Lyra?
- >>She happily nods, ecstatic that you remembered her name
- But why? How? What?
- >>“I was here all night, Mister Anon!â€
- >>Your eyes expand to fill your two dimensional head
- >>Your pupils shrink to pinpricks
- >>“Watching you sleeeeeeep...â€
- >>You glare up at her for a moment
- >>This can't be happening
- >>There's got to be some sort of rule against this sort of thing
- Get off of my bed
- >>“Okay~!â€
- >>She bounces off of your bed gracefully
- >>Almost the way that Pinkie Pie just sails through the air when she skips
- >>Creeps you out even further
- >>This is just off the scales
- >>You sit up and swing out of bed, looking down at her
- Alright. How did you get in?
- >>Still smiling, her horn glows and produces yet another spare key that flies out of her mane
- >>You grab it out of the air
- >>She produces another one
- >>You grab that one
- >>She presents a third key
- Okay, what the hell?
- >>“Magic!â€
- >>She snorts, and then grins widely
- >>As if she was waiting for approval
- Okay. Get out.
- >>She drops her smile and looks up at you
- You heard me. Get out.
- >>There's a pause
- >>You clench your teeth
- …
- >>She suddenly jumps into the air and lands on her back, hooves kicking in the air
- >>She chuckles, madly
- >>“You'll have to lift me up!â€
- >>You glare at her
- >>“With your hands!â€
- >>She jabs a hoof to your left hand, which is at your hip
- >>Pause
- >>“...Touch me with your handsâ€
- >>You cringe
- Oh.. UGH! Augh, oh, jeez! You're sick, lady!
- >>Holy crap, this was worse than Applejack and Fluttershy combined
- >>From them, you knew what to expect
- >>This little freak? She can alienate your home at any time and had some sort of weirdo fangirl fetish
- >>The next moment is of you kicking open your door and heaving this annoying little snot-colored witch out of your home
- >>She lands on her flank
- >>You slam the door shut
- >>Shut the combination lock
- >>There. Even if she unlocks the door, it won't budge
- >>And she can't just stay out there forever
- >>You turn around
- >>She is waiting for you, right behind you
- >>She smiles and you here a high pitched squee
- What the hell?
- >>She raises a hoof to her forehead
- >>Oh. She's a unicorn. That explains it.
- >>You turn to unlock the door to kick her out again
- >>By Celestia, you'll just keep throwing her out until she's spent on spells for the day if that's the case
- >>“Mister Anonymous?â€
- >>You stop what you're doing and turn to see her
- >>“YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE TEN DIGITS OF HEAVEN~!â€
- >>Inside of three seconds your door flings open
- >>There's a loud smack
- >>She goes arcing through the air out your door as your boot comes in contact with her hind quarters
- >>You slam the door
- >>Turn around
- >>As predicted, there she is again
- >>“You're so tall! What's it like to be so tall? Are all human beings so tall?â€
- >>You get ready to kick her out again, but you stop half way through
- Wait, what? How did you know...?
- >>Just how in the hell did she know you are a human?
- >>How does she know that word?
- >>Exactly much DOES she know?
- >>“Because I see them in my dreams!â€
- >>“I think I was a human in a past life!â€
- >>You can't believe this
- >>“I'm a human in spirit!â€
- >>Lyra beats her chest
- >>Okay, wow
- >>So now they have pony otherkin, too
- >>“And I want to be just like you~!â€
- >>Awkward silence
- >>She awaits your next action, watching you as if you were an exhibit
- >>Knock at the door
- >>You turn and answer it
- >>Oh, dammit
- >>It's Fluttershy
- >>Dressed in thin latex dominatrix gear with a saddle crop in her mouth
- >>You don't need this shit right now
- >>“Um, Hi, Anon... I was just wondering if you, you know... would like to...â€
- >>For the love of Celestia...
- >>Lyra bounds up
- >>“Whose this?â€
- >>Fluttershy perks up upon seeing Lyra in your home
- >>She stares up at you
- >>With innocent eyes, like she was no more than two
- >>“Anon... why?â€
- >>“Why is that strange mare in your home?â€
- >>“...Why?â€
- >>But you know,
- >>You are so smart and so slick
- >>That you thought up a lie
- >>And you thought it up quick
- Lyra
- >>You said
- This is Fluttershy. She is the resident expert on human behavior. She knows EVERYTHING about human activities.
- >>Lyra skipped in place, zipping to Fluttershy
- >>“Really?! Really really?! And humans like that?!â€
- >>Fluttershy backed up, lifting a hoof on the ground
- >>“Uhh...â€
- It's my favorite thing in the world.
- >>Upon hearing this, Lyra pounces Fluttershy
- >>“Then I like it too! Come here!â€
- >>A scuffle ensues, and you shut your door
- >>You look out the window and you see Lyra chasing Fluttershy off at best speed
- >>“Come on! Do to me what you were going to do to anon!â€
- >>You breathe a sigh of relief
- >>You haven't even had breakfast yet
- >>This shit was going to get really old, really fast
- END
- >>It was the same day
- >>You left your house as secure as you could
- >>You needed to find Twilight, pronto
- >>And to do that, you headed toward the library
- >>You already notice that not every pony trusts you, given their looks
- >>But that's alright. They don't need to
- >>You're different, you've done wrong. You don't hold it against them
- >>You're not even mad
- >>The sun beats down on you
- >>At least the worst of your problems are over
- >>You see the library in the distance and are relieved
- >>Surely, Twilight will be able to help you with that teleporting pervert
- >>You break out into a jog
- >>But you are forced to a halt when Applejack steps out in front of you
- >>She crosses her forelegs and looks up at you with a smug smile
- >>Not today. Please, just not today
- >>“Well howdy there, Anonymous! Lookin' pretty good, all up and about.â€
- >>Anonymous is not an idiot
- >>You know where this is going
- >>“You know, you should be rewarded for savin' mah sister. Got any ideas?â€
- >>She bats her eyelashes
- >>Well, here goes nothing
- For you to leave me alone.
- >>Applejack guffaws momentarily before she tips her hat back with her hoof
- >>“Ah love it when ya act like ya don't want it.â€
- >>She starts advancing towards you
- >>You step back
- >>Wait
- We're in the middle of Ponyville. You wouldn't try anything.
- >>“Nope! But ya gotta go home sometime.â€
- >>“Ya can go about yer' day, Anon. But now that you're able to walk, it's open season on your ass tonight.â€
- >>She lifted a hoof and motioned to you as she talked, taunting you
- >>Your lids drop to half closed and you give Applejack the most unamused glare you can muster
- Gee, thanks for the heads up.
- >>“Jus' keepin' it honest.â€
- >>She winked at you
- >>Armed with the knowledge that tonight is going to involve Applejack, you walk past her and on to the library
- >>“Anonymous, I think you're overreacting.â€
- >>You couldn't believe it. You just couldn't fucking believe it.
- So which part didn't you get, again?
- >>“Anon, Lyra is a quiet, sweet girl.â€
- So you know who I'm talking about, then?
- >>“Of course! She checks out books from here all the time!â€
- >>Twilight was restocking her books and doing research at the same time while talking with you
- >>You couldn't help but feel a little offended
- >>Like she wasn't giving your trouble her full attention
- What kind of books?
- >>You ask
- Like, how to compromise home security? A basic premier to being a creepy stalker?
- >>Twilight groans at you
- >>“It SOUNDS like she just wants to be your friend.â€
- Twilight! Friends don't watch each other sleep!
- >>Twilight lifted her head from her book and her ears perked
- >>“Really?â€
- Yeah.
- Really.
- >>“Huh, I'm gonna need to look over my guide to friendship in Equestria again.â€
- >>She goes back to her work, leaving you standing there
- ...Well?!
- >>“I'm not going to do it right NOW! Look, Anon, in the mean time you're just going to have to learn to handle it yourself.â€
- >>You pull your short hair
- What do you want me to do? Scream 'Get out of here, STALKER?!'
- >>Twilight gives a frustrated groan, throwing her head up from her work
- >>“Okay you big baby. After I'm done with inventory I'll work on teleport-proofing your house. How's that?â€
- >>You slap your hands to your sides, giving a breath of relief
- Thank you!
- >>She smiles at you and returns to her duties
- ...So are we talking tonight? Tomorrow?
- >>“Middle of next week.â€
- >>FFFUUUU
- >>You give up, not wanting to bug Twilight too much
- >>You love her like family, and understand her situation
- >>You just wish she would try to understand yours a little better
- >>Oh well, she did agree to help – even if that help was less than forthcoming
- >>Suddenly, you notice that the day is starting to set
- >>Damnit... you better get home and barricade it
- >>You pick up the pace to a brisk jog, getting faster and faster as your precious light begins to vanish
- >>Suddenly, you find that you aren't alone
- >>A snow-green pony strides next to you
- >>On two legs
- >>Like a human
- >>You groan
- Not in the mood, Lyra!
- >>“Why's that, Anonymous? Is there some human ritual that we have to get to?â€
- >>You can't even come up with an answer
- >>Was this chick for real?
- >>Suddenly, a pale cream colored pony with cyan eyes gets in your path
- >>You recognize this one, but cannot put your finger on it
- >>You stumble to a stop, not wanting to run her over
- >>But god damnit, you jog in place
- >>You have maybe a half hour of light, at the absolute most
- >>And you highly doubt it
- >>“Hi, BonBon!â€
- >>BonBon? You've heard this one's name, before
- >>But where was it?
- >>BonBon struts up to you, calmly
- >>She reaches a hoof to your collar and pulls you down to her legel with amazing strength
- Wha-huh?!
- >>She speaks up, her voice different from before
- >>“I WARNED you to stay away from Lyra!â€
- >>Oh, shit – THIS one
- >>Back when the town was out for your blood
- >>You gave her a smirk
- >>You had the upper hand, here
- >>No fear
- >>I mean, you are the former Ponyville champ!
- >>What the hell does this literal candy-ass think she has on you?
- >>Her face goes red with your disregard
- >>Sound effect of a tea kettle whistling
- >>Your smirk drops a half second before a hoof rams into your face
- >>You and she are quickly envelopped in a cartoony cloud inside of which is a world of violence
- >>The cloud bounces to and fro, in every direction
- Please, not the face!
- >>“I warned you! I warned you!â€
- Ow! My eye! That's my EYE!
- >>“Homewrecker!â€
- WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE!?
- >>Through an act of Celestia you are able to leap out of the ragecloud and zip away, making best speed
- >>Your right eye is black as hell
- >>BonBon gives hot pursuit
- >>“I'm not done with you, yet!â€
- >>Every sentence she speaks is with a different voice
- >>This woman is FUCKING SATAN
- >>Luckily, you outpace her by virtue of your longer legs
- >>House in sight
- >>You're home free
- >>Just got to...
- >>Something suddenly binds your legs together and causes you to fall on your face
- >>You are dragged into a dark alley way, clawing at the ground as your house vanishes from view
- No! No, oh, Celestia! NOO-HO-HO!!
- >>So close, and yet so far
- >>Before you know it, your world is turned upside down as you find yourself in a hogtie
- >>Look up
- >>It's Applejack
- >>Shit
- >>“YEEE-HAW! Ah got ya, Anonymous!â€
- >>You slip into panic mode
- >>You got NO time for this shit
- FRIENDSHIP
- FRIENDSHIP
- FRIENDSHIP
- >>You scream while writhing on the ground, attempting to pry yourself from your binds
- >>Her hoof comes down and plants itself in your mouth
- >>“Nuh uh, Anon. That ain't gonna work.â€
- >>“Ya'll don't get no safety word, this time.â€
- >>You look up to her in horror
- >>Where's Rainbro?
- >>Applejack grins with delight at her perceived victory, and lowers her lips to yours
- >>“And now, Anonymous... huh?â€
- >>Her head recoiled
- >>“...What happened to yer' eye?â€
- >>Just then, a cream colored hoof 'wrapped' around Applejack's face from behind before shoving her out of the way
- >>BonBon took her place
- >>“Out of the way, SISTER! I got unfinished business with this one!â€
- >>She stormed over you and reared a hoof
- >>You winced, anticipating a hit
- >>Applejack recovered
- >>“Ah ain't yer' sister, and ah found him first!â€
- >>Applejack rammed BonBon off of you from the side with a equine headbutt
- >>“Ugh!â€
- >>BonBon was quick to recover, and she lashed out at Applejack, which resulted in a second ragecloud
- >>As the cloud bounced to and fro, with various cat whining sound effects being produced by it, you struggle against your binds
- >>You manage to undo the binds, scramble to your feet
- >>Being the clever Anonymous you are, you beat a hasty retreat towards your house
- >>Just then, the fight cloud dissipates with neither mare having deciesively won
- >>“He's getting away!â€
- >>Astute as ever, Applejack
- >>Both of them take off after you
- >>Oh Celestia, Oh sweet, merciful Celestia
- >>They'll knock your door down easily if you try to hide inside your house
- >>Immediately, you employ your superior hands to leap off your feet and grab a branch in a large tree planted near your house
- >>You hoist yourself up,
- >>Get to your feet, balance yourself, and leap to the next highest branch
- >>They catch up to you and attempt to mimic your feat, but fail miserably
- >>“Gah! Galdernit, hooves...â€
- >>Applejack kicks a hoof against the ground
- >>“Ya won this one, Anon! But mark my words, your flank will be mine!â€
- >>Applejack trots off, growling, hanging her head low
- >>BonBon raises her hoof at you and makes a threatening gesture before she takes off
- >>You breathe heavily
- >>You're about ten feet off of the ground
- >>Your legs dangle off of a thick branch
- >>You dodged a rape bullet yet again
- >>You wait for about fifteen minutes, wanting to make sure they've gone
- >>“Teehee~!â€
- >>You look to your side
- >>Lyra is smiling her broad smile at you
- Lyra, get down from my tree
- You are not a human
- You don't even have hands
- END
- >You find yourself standing in your kitchen
- >It's two thirty... two thirty one in the morning
- >Your eyes are underlined by black marks left by the fatigue of your day
- >The fatigue of every day
- >You're tired
- >Not just physically tired
- >Tired of everything
- >Tired of all this shit that seems to happen to you
- >Your friendships, as much as you value them, are only a band aid over what is missing from your life
- >Over what has always been missing from your life
- >Like a slow running machine, you twirl a wooden spatula through a bowl of batter
- >Pancakes, following Pinkie Pie's recipe
- >You aren't particularly hungry
- >But you can't force yourself to sleep, either
- >And the doctors have told you that too many horse tranquilizers will kill you
- >You've pondered just taking one more over your limit before
- >But, ultimately, you're too big of a coward to ever do it
- >This world doesn't need you
- >But you'll be damned if you didn't need this world
- >You hear the beat of hooves against your polished wooden floor
- >There's no need to look back
- >Or act surprised
- >Such home invasions were so ridiculously common, you wondered why you bothered with locks
- >Or re-keying your house every time someone swipes your key
- >Or even closing the door behind you
- >“Hi~!â€
- >The voice was Lyra's
- >You don't even afford her a look
- >All of your attention is affixed to the swirling batter that you are concocting
- >“What'cha doing?â€
- >She asks; so innocent
- >Twilight still hasn’t come by to teleport proof your house
- >Not that it matters. This was your life
- >Celestia made sure of that
- Making pancakes
- >Your voice is more droning than usual
- >Like you were in a trance
- >Deep, monotone, without a care in the world
- >Just going with the flow. It's what you always do
- >“...It's two thirty in the morning. Why are you making pancakes?â€
- >As if you really knew
- >God, you fucking hated these ponies, some times
- >If it's not Applejack or Fluttershy trying to rape you, it's Pinkie Pie driving you up the fucking wall
- >Failing that, you could always count on Lyra to break in and be the creepy nut that she is
- >Your shoulders hoist upwards, recalling how she breathed on your hand that first night you met
- >It was nightmare fuel
- Because I've lost all control of my life
- >You respond to her
- >It wasn't far from the truth, either
- >Celestia made sure of that, too
- >Lyra canted her head to one side
- >“That's weirdâ€
- >You stop your stirring
- >Slowly you crank your head around to look over your shoulder
- >Your bloodshot eyes meet her inquisitive gaze
- >Was she serious?
- >You didn't know
- >You went back to your work
- >“Anon...â€
- >She asks
- >You only half listen
- >“Why do you live alone?â€
- >“I know it kills youâ€
- >You roll your eyes
- >What the hell does she know about you?
- >You know what? On second thought, you didn't want to know
- Because I am alone
- >You reply, content that those words explained your situation clear enough
- >But Lyra, being who she was, didn't leave
- >You wished that she could take a hint
- >You wished any of these ponies could take a hint
- >Once your batter is whipped perfectly, you eye the clock and see that it is still way too early for breakfast
- >You move to the refuse bin and invert the bowl, dumping it all before casting the bowl and spoon in the sink
- >As you move to and fro, you hear the clopping of her following you
- >“You know, you don't... have to beâ€
- >She steps past you, brushing up against your leg with her soft marshmallow body
- >She turns in front of you, coiling up against you and looking yo into your eyes suggestively
- You're a horse
- >“Ponyâ€
- Whatever. I'm not interested
- >But she was
- >You moved away from her and flicked your kitchen light off
- >She followed you
- >You moved up the stairs in your living room
- >She still followed you
- >You made it to your bedroom and forcefully shut the door behind yourself
- >She stops, and hears you engage the lock
- >In the darkness of your room, you make your way to your bed and slide under the covers
- >On to your back, your favorite sleeping position
- >But you are not really so dumb
- >When the bright flash of light floods your room for an instant, you expected it
- >It was a teleport spell, similar to the ones Twilight uses
- >Lyra saunters over and hops on to your bed
- >At this juncture, was there any point in trying?
- >You throw her out, she comes back
- >That's how it always is
- >No matter how hard you try, she will always be your shadow
- >She positions herself over you and plops her flank down on your midsection
- >You huff a breath of air
- >“I know you better than anyoneâ€
- >She says
- >You don't want to believe her, but she is probably right
- >Much to your dismay
- >“Nop0ny should have to live like this.â€
- I'm not a pony
- >You always feel the need to correct them when they do that
- >You're a broken, hollow form of a human being
- >But a human being, none the less
- >“Sorryâ€
- >“But the point is... I want to help youâ€
- >She lays her body down on yours, coiling her forehooves under herself
- >These ponies are heavier than they look
- >her head props up
- >She blushes
- >And then she looks down at you with a sinister half-grin
- >“...And it seems like you want to be helped as well~â€
- >You groan
- >You were hoping she wouldn't notice your growing excitement
- >Stupid involuntary bodily reflexes
- >You can't believe that you're doing this
- >The idea still strikes you as absolutely abhorrent
- >Zoophilia was never your thing
- >But as you sat on the edge of your bed, running your hand up and down her stomach,
- >You felt a sort of therapeutic peace come about you
- >Her hooves lightly kicked into the air, and her body gave a sensual quake as your palm traced her outline
- >She was still wearing the same blush that she was minutes before
- >“...Hands...â€
- >She moaned
- >You blinked and looked up to the ceiling before shaking your head
- >With any luck, you would lull her to sleep and prevent yourself from making a big mistake
- >Luck
- >Something that you never had
- >She giggled and reached a hoof up to you
- >It took some effort on her part, but she hooked your shoulders and pulled you closer to her
- >Never, at any point, did you make eye contact over the course of this
- >“C'mon, Anon...â€
- >She spoke in a breathy moan
- >“If you didn't want it, you wouldn't have come to bedâ€
- >You turn your eyes on her, then
- >“You knew I could just come in anyway~â€
- >You huff a sigh
- Okay
- >You concede
- >You lay a hand down on the pillow, right next to her head
- >You're going to give this a shot
- >But she's on thin ice
- >You are so tired of being alone
- >And, if she's willing...
- >You mean, it's not like she's trying to take what she wants from you, right?
- >She's not Applejack
- >You give one last huff before a smile grows under her snout
- >She looks up into your unsure eyes with ones of lustful confidence
- >You are drawn into a kiss, her lips overtaking yours
- >You melt into it, closing your eyes and canting your head to one side to ensure a better fit for both of you
- >And then, much to your shame, your arms close around her
- >They worm around her body and clasp her securely in a tight embrace
- >You wanted this
- >You needed this
- >She did the same, her hooves joining with a clap around your neck
- >For a moment, you knew peace
- >You smile into the lip lock
- >For one moment, you knew fulfillment
- >For that one moment, you knew happiness
- >Suddenly, the window to your room shatters into a thousand glassy pieces
- >You part from Lyra, and you both gasp as you look over to the disturbance
- >A clap of thunder and the accompanying flash of lightning sets the mood as you see BonBon's silhouette creeping towards you
- >Blood in her eyes and on her mind, her chest heaving with hate filled breaths
- >You scramble up from your bed and step back from her
- Wait--
- >“I told you...â€
- Hold on--!
- >“To stay away...â€
- Lyra? HELP ME!
- >She watches in horror from the comfort of your bed
- >“FROM MY LYRA!!â€
- >BonBon the Destroyer pounces, knocking you off your feet just as another flash of lightning illuminates your room
- >You are sent tumbling into the floor
- >BonBon straddles you, hooking a hoof into the collar of your shirt
- >Her teeth are barred
- >The last thing you see is a hoof coming down, and the last thing you hear is a sickening crack
- >You wake up some undetermined time later in a daze
- >You know exactly what happened
- >And, with only a single look around, you know where you are
- >A hospital bed, with the right side of your head covered in bandages
- >You growl
- >“Anon?â€
- >You look over to see Twilight sitting next to you
- >This surprises you. How long have you been out?
- >“Anon...?â€
- >She asks again
- Yeah
- >You confirm, letting her know that you aren't deaf
- >“Jeez... what happened? I came over as soon as I heard.â€
- >You weren't about to tell her what actually happened
- >No fucking way
- >These ponies were nothing but trouble
- I fell down my stairs
- >Twilight cocks her head and raises an eyebrow
- >“...You do that a lotâ€
- >She says
- Yeah
- >You answer
- >There is an awkward pause
- >“You're pretty dumb, aren't you?â€
- >You look forward, away from her
- >You take a moment before answering
- Yeah...
- >Just go with the flow
- >That's what you always do
- >>You are exhausted
- >>And at work
- >>Your eyes are heavy, they feel like they will close at any second
- >>Black marks linger below them
- >>Worst still, you still have a black eye
- >>Your entire weekend was spent trying to outmaneuver this nightmare
- >>Lyra was running you ragged
- >>And whenever she approached you, BonBon popped out of NOWHERE and destroyed you
- >>At least now you have some peace and quiet
- >>Just washing dishes
- >>Wash, rinse, dry
- >>Wash, rinse, dry
- >>Repetitive, but easy
- >>You got in to work before anyone else
- >>Mostly because you wanted to dodge Lyra this morning
- >>You had just finished up cleaning all of last night's dishes and cleaning up all the cooking surfaces when Pinkie Pie came down the stairs, yawning
- >>“Ayauh...â€
- >>Her yawns were kind of cute.
- >>“Hey, Anon. Wait... Anon?â€
- >>You look from your station over to where the sound came from
- >>Nothing
- >>“What are YOU doing here so early?â€
- >>The sound came from behind you
- >>You whirl around
- >>She's gone
- >>“Silly! There's no party today!â€
- >>You toss a look over your shoulder and find nothing
- >>You look forward again, and her head fills your vision – upside down
- Gah!
- >>You stumble back
- >>“So what are you doing here so early?! Huh, huh, huh?â€
- >>It's way too early for this shit
- Pinkie, please
- >>A hand clutches your chest as you breathe deep, recovering from the scare
- >>“Sorry! But you still haven't answered my question!â€
- >>She bounces in circles around you, her eyes closed in that cartoony expression of glee
- >>You weren't a fan of being interrogated
- >>But Pinkie was sort of your friend, you guess
- >>Even if you hardly knew her
- >>Well, on second thought, she DID come to see you in the hospital
- >>And before that, she DID sing you that welcome song
- >>Even if it scared the consciousness right out of you
- Just felt like getting an early start, is all.
- >>You were still a man of few words
- >>Since day one, you didn't like talking too much
- >>Sometimes it got on their nerves, you noticed
- >>Sometimes Twilight mutters to herself about how taking your comprehension spell away would not make a difference
- >>But that's okay. You like Twilight, and at the end of the day she likes you
- >>And you can get really talkative with Rainbow
- >>You almost fail to notice Pinkie Pie stretching her neck out to look you in the eye
- >>She is now a Giraffe. Nice.
- >>She probably senses your unease. Apparently you are easier to read than you'd like to be
- So, why are YOU up to early?
- >>“Oh, that's easy you silly-filly!â€
- I'm not a filly.
- >>She continues talking
- >>“I live here! And instead of paying rent, I just do some things for Mr. and Ms. Cakeâ€
- I'm not silly, either.
- >>“It's like doing chores, really! I also get all the cake I can eat! Oh, and Ice cream, and cookies, and...â€
- >>It always felt like you were having two different conversations
- Wait, what?
- >>“...I also get a workshop where I get to make things! Like my party cannon! And my welcome wagon!â€
- >>She continued, throwing her eyes left to right and lifting her hooves as she listed the merits of her housing
- You live here?
- >>“And Mr. and Ms. Cake are so nice! They even pay me for the work I do! It's so...â€
- They're not your parents are they?
- >>“What?â€
- >>Finally, we're getting somewhere
- >>You learned a long time ago that trying to halt Pinkie was futile
- >>Best to just keep talking and wait until she loses track and focuses on you
- You said you live here. The Cakes' aren't your parents, are they?
- >>Pinkie's lips were blown out
- >>“PFFFT! No, silly-fillyâ€
- I'm not silly.
- >>“I lived on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. It was boring, there were no colors or anything!â€
- And I'm pretty sure I'm older than you.
- >>Here she goes again
- >>“All we did all day was roll rocks around. I never did find out why we did that! It was so silly! But one day...â€
- By, like, a lot.
- >>“I saw this rainbow, and it made me smile so widely that I just wanted to make everyone around me smile!â€
- It's actually pretty creepy that I hang out with you guys
- >>“So I packed up my things and moved to Ponyville where I could make everyone smile and meet new friends!â€
- How old are you?
- >>“I actually think it was Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom that did it! It's how I got my cutiemarkâ€
- The bell out front rang
- Cus...
- >>“CUSTOMER!â€
- >>She zipped out so fast that it spun you around and left you on your flank, wondering just what happened
- >>That Pinkie Pie, so random.
- >>Later on in the day, you were working the ovens
- >>Dishes weren't backed up, but you were worried since it was just you and Pinkie
- >>The Cakes' were not accounted for
- >>Pinkie trotted back into the kitchen, happy and as energetic as ever
- >>“Wow! That was a long line!â€
- Banana nut muffins are in the oven, boss.
- >>Pinkie gave you a weird look
- >>“I'm not Boss. I'm Pinkie Pie! Silly anon!â€
- >>You stop what you're doing, shake your head, and get back to work
- So, where ARE the Cakes'?
- >>“Oh, they won't be coming in today. Just us!â€
- >>You frown
- >>Pinkie can drive you up the goddamn wall sometimes
- >>“SOOO~!â€
- >>You look over your shoulder to find her face right in yours, wearing a wicked smile
- Gah!
- >>You fumble and nearly drop an icing dispenser
- Pinkie Pie!
- >>You scold
- >>“I~ told you my story. So NOW~ you get to tell me yours!â€
- >>She trotted past you, looking up at you the whole way
- I came to Ponyville, you scared the daylights out of me, I fell down a hole, then I got a job here.
- >>She furrowed her brows and stuck out her lower lip, looking at you
- >>“Now don't be a grumpy guss, Anon.â€
- >>You don't want to tell her that Celestia has left your mind as such a wreck that you can't remember shit
- Nothing to tell.
- >>You move to put away a tray of cupcake tins, when Pinkie suddenly appears in front of you from out of the blue
- D'ah!
- >>In your fright you drop the tins, which clatter to the floor with a thunderous racket
- Pinkie! Now I have to wash these again!
- >>You mutter a string of human curses to yourself as you carry them to the sink and start scrubbing
- >>Bad enough that you have to wear a pink frilly apron
- >>“Come on! What about your mom? Your dad? Your friends?â€
- >>She bounces around you
- >>Sore subject
- >>You can't remember any of them
- >>Celestia made sure of that
- Pinky, PLEASE. Just... PLEASE.
- >>She settles down and frowns
- >>“Well... how about your cutie mark? Do you always hide it under those clothes? What's your special talent?â€
- >>You cringe
- >>You mutter a response
- I don... have... utiemark...
- >>“What was that?â€
- >>You flip your shit and whirl around at her
- I don't HAVE a cutiemark!
- Pinkie, I NEED this job. Would you PLEASE just let me work?!
- >>She was 100% unfazed and continued with the inquisition
- >>“Oh, Anon, I just noticed! What happened to your eye?â€
- >>She raised a hoof to point to your right eye
- >>You forgot about it yourself, and put your hand up to see what she was talking about
- >>Ouch! Oh, that's right. BonBon arranged a meeting with her hoof and your face
- Oh, this
- >>You take a moment to answer
- I got in a little tussle the other night. No big deal
- >>You go back to the dishes
- >>“What? With who?!â€
- Somepony by the name of BonBon. She gets a little aggressive when I get near Lyra.
- >>“That's not just a little! Are you hanging around with Lyra a lot?â€
- >>“Why don't you hang out with me?â€
- >>“I could throw you a party!â€
- >>You rinse off a tin and set it out to dry before moving on to the next one
- Lyra comes to me. She's been, uh... kind of creepy, lately.
- >>“Creepy like how?â€
- Creepy like she teleports into my house and watches me sleep at night
- >>At this, Pinkie recoiled and brought up a brow
- >>“What? Really?â€
- >>You look up from what you're doing to shoot Pinkie a glance
- Yeah.
- Really.
- >>You return to work, rinsing off a tin and setting it out to dry
- >>“Want to stay over tonight? She won't find you here. We'll have a slumber party!â€
- >>Celestia... ALWAYS with the damn parties
- No, it's okay. Twilight is coming by tomorrow to teleport-proof my house. Once she does that, it'll all be fine.
- >>Pinkie looks at you, concerned
- >>She starts twitching like crazy as she thinks about it
- >>The bell out front rings
- Cus...
- >>“CUSTOMER!â€
- >>Pinkie zips off, leaving you to your work at last
- END
- >>You have to admit to yourself
- >>And you never thought you would
- >>Pinkie is... kind of okay
- >>Talkative, annoying, nosy and obtrusive
- >>She had no concept of personal space
- >>But she had good intentions
- >>You can't find fault in that
- >>With your shift over, you turn down another offer to stay the night at Sugarcube Corner
- >>A little Pinkie went a long way, after all
- >>You get home, and have a surprisingly easy time of it
- >>No Lyra
- >>No BonBon
- >>None of the usual culprits
- >>You happily shower
- >>Eat a little cereal
- >>And lie down in your welcoming bed
- >>You felt oddly comfortable that Luna was somewhere up there, hard at work making sure the world was right
- >>Nothing could go wrong
- >>There is a rustling
- >>Yeah, something is definitely rustling
- >>Your eyes popped open
- >>Lyra stood over you, glaring straight down into your face
- >>You furrow your eyebrows
- >>There's something different about her. You can see it in her expression
- Okay, this has gone on far enouMMF!!
- >>A hoof came to your mouth and filled your lips, making it impossible to talk
- >>Or call for help
- >>She parted her lips
- >>Oh, God, is this a rape thing?
- >>This is a rape thing, isn't it?
- >>You're ready to give Lyra the same treatment as you do to Applejack
- >>Your right fist bares itself, you draw it back
- >>You imagine right hook across her jaw will put her right out
- >>Lyra slams her other front hood into the crook of your right elbow
- >>“No no, none of that~!â€
- >>She smirks evilly at you
- >>“Is that any way to treat your...â€
- >>“biggest fan?â€
- >>Her unicorn horn glows
- >>Despite your increased struggling, she touches it to your forehead
- >>You go out like a light
- >>This shit is getting old
- >>It feels like an instant to you
- >>Light floods your consciousness
- >>Groggy, as per usual in these situations
- >>But, at least, it was a more pleasant experience than being punched out
- >>Come to think of it
- >>Why was it that you were the toughest son of a bitch in Ponyville, but it never mattered?
- >>Always getting your shit rocked
- >>Oh well, it isn't like you were actually meaning to do harm to ponies like BonBon
- >>You're a nice guy, after all
- >>And the fight circuit is extinct
- >>No place for any of that, anymore
- >>As your wherewithal returns to you, you find yourself in a wooden room
- >>Some sort of shed?
- >>Smells like it
- >>You push yourself up onto your knees
- >>She shed is well lit by wax candles arranged in some sort of pattern
- >>And, in your horror, you find yourself in the center of a large, circular glyph chalked into the ground
- >>You attempt to recoil, but heavy chains bolted to the floor yank you to a stop
- >>You fall back to your knees
- >>“You will find that's quite uselessâ€
- >>A familiar voice
- >>You crank your attention around to see Lyra
- >>She is using her magic to move a series of potions that orbit her
- >>Those magical auroras gripping the objects and drifting them through the air is all too common
- What is all this?
- >>You ask, not amused
- >>She calmly looks at you before returning to her work
- >>“You're in my workshop. Many Unicorns have them. At least, those who are interested in furthering our racial talents.â€
- >>You should have been able to tell by the books that were splayed out
- >>No doubt the stuff of wizards
- >>On second thought, you inspect the books closer
- >>Many of the piled tomes and codeces are titles you yourself have shelved in Twilight's library
- >>She hoofs over a page in her book and calculates some sort of measurement, causing her potions to pour into one another
- Okay. What is this, some sort of rape thing?
- >>She stops her work and looks at you for a moment before sneering
- >>“Ughâ€
- >>“Pretentiousâ€
- >>She waves a hoof at you
- >>“Yes, I know of your... 'issues' here in Equestria. I assure you that you will not have to worry about them soon enough.â€
- >>You cringe
- What?
- >>Her work never stops, even while she's talking
- >>“I told you. I am a human in spirit.â€
- >>Oh, not this shit again
- >>You shake your head and look to the ground, chortling
- >>She takes obvious offense
- >>Lyra slams a hoof down on the work bench
- >>“Oh, you think it's funny, do you?!â€
- >>You silence yourself at her outburst
- >>“I have lived countless cycles in a world not meant for me! So your coming here was most fortuitous.â€
- >>You raise an eyebrow and look at her inquisitively
- >>“I will be doing us both a service, Anonymous.â€
- >>She grins wickedly, lowering the empty phials from her orbit and holding one in particular to the light
- >>“Good! It's almost ready...â€
- >>A knife was levitated, and with one quick swipe she broke the skin the meat of her arm, wringing a stream of crimson liquid into the concoction
- >>You cringe
- What the hell is that?
- >>She swirls it around, ensuring a good mix before making her way to you
- >>With the knife
- >>This makes you uneasy
- >>And you try to escape yet again
- >>And fail, yet again
- >>“You will seeâ€
- >>She gets right in front of you and, in an instant, the knife slashes against your cheek
- >>It leaves a clean, red gash
- >>You cringe at the cold feeling that runs through your flesh
- >>She holds the phial under your wound, contributing your blood to it
- >>With a gentle mix, there is a poof of arcane power that exudes from the lips of the phial
- >>“You see, Anon...â€
- >>She explains
- >>Her horn glows
- >>No will save
- >>You are dragged across the floor over to her, uncomfortably close
- >>A magical aurora overtakes you
- >>Any attempt to move against it brings you an electric pain
- >>“...My legacy is written in the heavenly bodies of both of our worlds. How kind of fate to bring a man so willing to throw away his humanity to me!â€
- >>Your eyes go wide
- What are you saying?!
- >>She frowns at you
- >>“Well, I guess no one said the bearer of my vessel would be very smart. After all, you fell right into my 'innocence' act without so much as a question.â€
- >>“What I mean, dear Anon, is...â€
- >>Suddenly there is a knocking on the door of the shed
- >>“LYRA! Put down your books and come eat dinner!â€
- >>Who the hell?
- >>Lyra puts a hoof to your mouth
- >>“STOP TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE, BONBON!â€
- >>Celestia, this woman screams like a harpy
- >>You hear a sigh through the walls and retreating hoof falls
- >>Lyra looks at you with disgust when the coast is clear
- >>She removes her hoof from your mouth, and the phial is forced in its place
- >>The disgusting contents are emptied half way into your mouth before they run down your throat
- AUGH!
- >>You protest
- >>Lyra walks away from you before partaking in the rest herself
- >>She was far less effected by the fowl taste
- >>“You've taken your human body for granted, Anon. I deserve to be human FAR more than you EVER will!â€
- >>Her horn begins to glow
- >>She smirks
- >>The chalk glyph that you stand upon reacts by glowing the same mint green that she is
- >>Oh, Celestia
- >>“It's a shame that you didn't take better care of that body for me. Oh well, it will heal.â€
- >>Your eyes widen and you clench your hands around your neck
- >>But soon, you lose control of your body
- >>This strange sensation leaves you struggling to comprehend what is going on
- >>Your soul is wrenched, forcibly pulled out by an arcane magnetism that you cannot resist
- >>But you try
- >>Because you are Anonymous
- >>You attempt to defy the pull through force of will alone
- >>Lyra chortles at your attempts
- >>“How futile. But at least you have spirit.â€
- >>“You will do well as a ponyâ€
- >>Your gaseous spirit is yanked free through your mouth
- >>As is Lyra's, through hers
- >>The two of you pass one another midway
- >>And before long, you black out
- >>This shit is getting really, REALLY old
- >>How many times have you been down this road?
- >>“Lyra?â€
- >>Light floods your consciousness
- Uhnn...
- >>You groan
- >>Wait
- Uhnn...
- >>You repeat
- >>“Oh! Good! You're alright! Lyra, you had me so worried!â€
- >>What the...
- >>You wake up abruptly as you roll over and crash on the floor
- >>“Oh! Be careful, sweetie!â€
- >>You look up to find that BonBon was cradling you in her lap
- >>Scream out of unbridled terror at the presence of BonBon the destroyer and attempt to get back on your feet
- >>But you fall on your flank
- >>“Lyra? Honey?â€
- >>You are too consumed by fear and confusion to answer
- >>What the hell are all these feels?!
- >>You hold your 'hands' up and look into them
- >>Two mint green marshmallows follow your commands
- >>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOEuY5lWENg
- To be continued
- >>If you didn't believe in God before
- >>You might have been praying to him now
- >>You know, if you still had any memories of your past life
- >>You were a quick learner
- >>You got the hang of your new pony body relatively quickly
- >>It still feels retarded, however
- >>Your body is slow to react to the input of your mind
- >>Your motor skills are less than mature
- >>Complex actions are not possible
- >>And as you sit at the supper table with a hay sandwich presented as dinner,
- >>There sits BonBon the Destroyer
- >>Lulled into a state of repose
- >>Because, now, you inhabit Lyra's body
- >>And somewhere out there, that witch is in yours
- >>You resolve to get it back, of course
- >>But you have no idea how, yet
- >>You can't shake the artificial, uneasy smile painted on your features
- >>Or the sweat that runs down your equine face
- >>It never ends
- >>“You okay, sweetie?â€
- >>BonBon asks, putting down her sandwich and looking at you through concerned eyes
- >>You nod, hastily and with energy
- Oh... oh yeah! Never been better!
- >>You dare not tell her who you are or what happened
- >>She makes a train wreck out of your face whenever you get remotely close to Lyra
- >>What do you think she'll do if she finds out that you switched bodies with her?
- >>She goes back to eating her sandwich, slowly
- H...hey, do you think, uh, I could... you know
- >>You channel Fluttershy
- >>She raises her eyebrows, lowering her dinner in her hooves
- >>“Spit it out, Lyra!â€
- >>You can't help but squeak and shiver
- T..t...think I can go to the Library?
- >>She looks at you weirdly
- Alone...?
- >>“Sweetie, the library isn't even open yetâ€
- >>You perk up
- >>Your ears flinch uncontrollably like radar towers
- What time IS it?
- >>“It's like two in the morning, dear. You were so obsessed with whatever project you were doing...â€
- >>You realize that your next work day hasn't even started yet
- >>This was all taking place so fast
- >>You ponder a strategy
- >>But you are interrupted
- >>“Speaking of which, you've been acting really weird ever since. Are you sure you're okay, Lyra?â€
- >>Growing more and more confident in your ability to control this body, you hinge your head up and down and smile
- >>You still had to get used to the whole 'naked' thing, though
- >>Your tail also didn't ever do what you wanted it to
- >>New body parts, missing body parts
- >>It was tough, but you were doing okay
- >>As long as no one throws a curve ball at you too quick, here
- >>“Good!â€
- >>BonBon smiles at you and finishes up her sandwich
- >>You force yourself to ingest the one in front of you
- >>Apparently, you still have your human sense of taste
- >>You force down the urge to blow chunks
- >>Hay is good for you, now
- >>Better just go with it
- >>“So, now that dinner is done...â€
- >>You stand up from your seat and look to BonBon with a smile
- >>This isn't too bad. You're managing, you're maintaining
- >>BonBon the Destroyer, here, thinks you're Lyra so you're completely safe
- >>“...It's my turn to be on top tonight!â€
- >>Well, that explains a lot. The home wrecker comment suddenly makes sen...
- >>Your smile fades to black
- >>Wait
- >>wut
- >>She looks at you seductively, creeping closer and closer
- >>“And you've been so good with that big, thick horn of yours...â€
- >>You need an adult
- >>Immediately
- >>Your eyes cross as you look up to the horn jutting from your forehead
- >>Oh Celestia
- >>You don't know where you've been!
- >>AUGH, Oh this is disgusting
- >>Your skin is crawling
- >>You trot in place, shutting your eyes
- >>You need a shower! You need a shower!
- >>“I'm gonna treat you to a very special present~!â€
- >>You take a step back
- >>Can you manage a run?
- >>No, no way
- >>You're not THAT confident in this body yet
- >>Even while walking, you sometimes trip up on your marshmallow hooves
- >>Wait
- >>Idea
- >>You're a unicorn
- >>You got magic up in this!
- >>You brace yourself and hang your head low
- >>You aim the horn at Lyra and puff your cheeks out as you hold your breath
- >>Immobulus!
- >>IMMOBULUS!
- >>WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!
- >>BonBon cants her head at you, wondering just what the hell you're doing
- >>“What in the name of Celestia are you doing?â€
- >>You lose your breath and heave
- >>Your tongue rolls out of your lips
- >>Nothing
- >>Fucking horn is useless
- >>Your eyes widen as your body jukes
- >>BonBon slips under you from the side and hoists you on to her back
- >>“Come on, Betty Humpterâ€
- >>What the hell?
- >>She starts carrying you through the house
- >>“I've got a bone to pick with you.â€
- >>You quickly find yourself thrown down on your back
- >>A soft, plush bed catches your fall
- >>You curl your hooves nervously under yourself
- >>You move your tail between your legs, covering your marehood
- >>Why do you even HAVE a marehood?
- >>None of this should be happening
- >>What the hell did you do to deserve this?
- >>BonBon throws herself on top of you, pinning you down with her forehooves
- >>She gazes upon you with an unquenchable lust
- >>You try to push her away using your own hooves, but miss her shoulders
- >>Her lips come down upon yours and take what they want, your faces fitting together like a glove
- >>“Mmm~!â€
- MMFF~!
- >>Your hooves flail upwards around her body, helpless to do much of anything
- >>A hoof presses sensually against your cheek as she finally pulls away
- >>A line of spittle bridges your mouth to hers
- >>Your pupils shrink to pinpricks
- >>For the first time, it feels like, you've realized how truly precarious your situation is
- >>She hungers for another kiss, and takes it
- >>You are powerless to stop her
- >>You attempt to buck, to rock her off as if she was a cowboy in a rodeo
- >>Celestia have mercy on your soul for what you just did
- >>She lifts away from you and looks down, excited
- >>“Oh~! Now you're in the mood!â€
- >>Oh dear Celestia, no
- No, BonBon. Listen to me. You're making a mistake.
- >>You're willing to suffer the consequences of truth in this case
- >>She eyes you suspiciously
- I'm a human.
- >>The butchy mare rolls her eyes
- >>“Not this shit again...â€
- >>You raise an eyebrow, uncomfortably
- >>“Alright, just for you, we'll work some role-play into this. Just for tonight.â€
- >>She happily bounces off of you and onto her hooves at the side of the bed, making her way to a decorated wooden chest at the other end of the small room
- >>You bounce off of the bed and land on your hooves as well, albeit less gracefully
- >>Being the clever Anon you are, you take a fast stock of your surroundings
- >>There's a door that leads to the rest of the house, but you don't know exactly where the front door even is
- >>And BonBon is blocking it
- >>To your left is a large glass pane window
- >>But you have no idea how high up you are
- >>And you really don't make a habit of leaping through fucking glass
- >>You are brought back to the situation when you hear a rubbery snap
- >>BonBon whirls around, putting her hoofs on her hips
- >>“Look, Lyra! It's your favorite~!â€
- >>The mint coloring of your face drains to be replaced by a bleached white
- >>You recoil in unprecedented horror
- >>“Mr Johnson and the juice crew~!â€
- >>The window crashes as you take a leap of faith
- >>You hit the ground with all the grace of a walrus before you scramble to your hooves and beat the best sprint you can with your new body, tripping over yourself the whole way
- >>“Lyra?! Lyra~!!â€
- >>BonBon the Destroyer calls out from behind you
- >>You're not sure where you're going
- >>Or where you SHOULD be going
- >>But as your hooves clop against the cobblestone infrastructure of Ponyville, you have only one thing in mind
- >>That you almost UNDERSTAND Lyra's actions, now.
- >>But that doesn't change the fact that you're going to kick her ass
- END
- >>Dawn
- >>You have not slept
- >>You spent the whole night running and hiding
- >>What do ponies look like when they're exhausted?
- >>You came to the fountain in the center of Ponyville Park
- >>Upon looking down into the water, you see the reflection of Lyra
- >>You cringe
- >>You growl
- >>You dash your hoof into the image, causing it to fade away in a splash
- >>Where could Lyra be with your body?
- >>What could she be doing to it?
- >>She seemed so sweet, so innocent and misguided
- >>Even if ridiculously creepy
- >>You would have never figured her for the a witch
- >>These ponies probably called them scholars and scientists
- >>But in your eyes, this is nothing but witchcraft
- >>This whole thing was so unnatural
- >>You hated this
- >>And you hated Lyra
- >>You had no idea what you were planning
- >>But you knew enough for now
- >>Time to get your body back
- >>Lyra, still housed in your body, exited your house
- >>As she worked the key, she smiled brightly
- >>Hands. She always had a thing for hands
- >>Even if her grasp of them was flawed, as seen by the fact that she dropped the key
- >>“Oh, shoot~!â€
- >>She picked it up and locked the door
- >>She turned around
- >>And you were there, waiting for her
- >>You were poised for action, your horn lowered and your eyes glaring up at your target with hatred
- >>“Hello, Lyra!â€
- >>She...he... whatever, it waved at you like nothing happened
- >>This made you growl
- I'm here for my body
- >>“Why, Lyra, what ever are you talking about?â€
- >>You slam a hoof into the ground
- Shut up.
- >>It was still so early in the morning
- >>Far too early for this shit
- >>Twilight hours. Nopony was around to see this
- >>You had Lyra right where you needed her
- >>“Hm.â€
- >>“What are YOU going to do, my little pony?â€
- >>She taunts you with your own smartass grin
- Gah!
- >>You kick your forehoof into the cobblestone and take off at best speed towards your own body
- >>Lyra sidesteps it easily enough, causing you to ram into the door
- >>You fall in a heap
- >>Stars fill your vision
- >>“Pleaseâ€
- >>She says, shrugging
- >>You gradually recover and shake it off before turning to face her once more
- >>You clench your teeth, narrow your eyes, and growl with a sound that can only be described as a threatening wolf
- >>“I've spent years learning to walk like you, to sit like you, to act like and BE like youâ€
- >>She warmly smiles, like she was your friend or something
- >>It infuriates you
- >>“Slipping into this body has been a simple transition. You? You wobble around like a filly that hasn't been potty trained yet.â€
- I'll give you one warning, you two-bit magician: Give me back my body...
- Right
- Now
- >>Your words are punctuated by acid
- >>She was underestimating you
- >>You hope to Celestia that you aren't underestimating her
- >>She snickers
- >>You take a step forward and issue another growl
- >>“Oh, my, Lyra! I'm afraid that if you don't halt your dreadful advances, I will have to defend myself!â€
- >>She put up her dukes, just like you
- >>Your anger spikes
- >>How dare she mimic you so fucking well?!
- >>“I know just what the human form can do. I've been aching to try it out!â€
- >>Perhaps you had a competitive vein in your last life
- >>Because you stood on your hind hooves
- >>Lyra's body was strangely complaint with this
- >>It almost preferred this
- >>And, you had to admit, your equine blood was surging
- >>You stomp forward, and your legs respond perfectly with your commands
- >>You must have looked like such a freak
- >>But you were a REAL human
- >>She was just a pony
- Lyra,
- >>You say, rolling up your non-existent 'sleeve'
- You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.
- >>Your body was slow
- >>But so was hers
- >>You were both fighting with a handicap
- >>You knew what you were doing
- >>She was more familiar with her new body than you were
- >>And, you admit, this might not have been the best idea
- >>Lyra's body could stand alright
- >>It walked acceptably well
- >>But rapid maneuvers were retarded by the equine joints of the body
- >>Joints you are still trying to get familiar with
- >>You have no way to reach her head
- >>So you're going to have to beat her down with body shots
- >>Only thing you're familiar with, here, is her having range on you
- >>No big deal
- >>She has a hard time tracking you as you get in close
- >>She throws a right hook, you weave under it
- >>Your hips whirl into a good right cross to the gut
- >>Ah, the good old cross. Never lets you down. By far your favorite. Real basic, real effective.
- >>The fight should have been over right then and there, but the human before you still stands
- >>You realize something
- >>You've fought Unicorns before
- >>They hit like pillows
- >>And you don't know how the hell to use the horn
- >>Shit
- >>She gives a single-note chuckle
- >>You look into your hoof with disbelief
- >>And before you know it, you are clocked in the cheek by a powerful shovel hook
- >>It sends you reeling, and you fall on your flank
- >>The shovel hook? Really?
- >>Celestia; why didn't you think of that back when it would have mattered?
- >>Jeez, that was brilliant
- >>But you can't afford to gush too much
- >>“What's wrong, Lyra? You were eager enough thirty seconds ago!â€
- >>You wipe a marshmallow hoof across your mouth and get back up on all fours
- >>Okay. You're not going to beat yourself by fighting like yourself
- >>Wouldn't be that simple, of course
- >>But what else do you know?
- >>Come on, Anon. Your special talent is kicking ass
- >>Lyra beckons you
- >>You're not stupid
- >>You can be hard headed at times, but not totally stupid
- >>She be trollan
- >>You hatin'
- >>You need to catch her riding dirty
- >>That is, there's got to be a mistake somewhere in her form
- >>Because, after all, she is not you. She just thinks she's that good
- >>Just then you have an epiphany
- >>Her legs are spread too far apart
- >>She doesn't know the shoulder-width rule
- >>She's just doing what she thinks she's seen you do
- >>You smile wickedly at Lyra, who anticipates your continued willingness to fight for what's yours
- >>If you can't win this by fighting like a human...
- >>You'll win this by fighting like a pony
- >>You charge at her, at best speed
- >>She throws an overhand
- >>You slip past it, and pass between the tall human limbs
- >>You get behind her
- >>“What?!â€
- >>You throw your weight on your front hooves, coil your hind legs under yourself
- >>And buck her legs right out from under her
- >>With a hop, skip, and a jump, you clear the impact zone before she goes down like a tree
- >>“Oof!â€
- >>Before she can recover, you are right there
- >>You stand on her body, all four hooves on the torso
- >>With a sinister grin, you wiggle yourself
- >>The pressure of the four hooves concentrated on her torso causes her to scream in your whiny scream
- Hurts, doesn't it?
- >>She tries to throw up her arms to stop you, but you pin them down with your forehooves
- >>She screams once more
- >>You lift a hoof from her arm and slam it down on her shoulder, grinding the point into the soft node
- >>This solicits an echoing howl of pain
- So how much do you know about human anatomy, smartass?
- >>She's crying your tears
- That's your brachial plexus. And this...
- >>You lift one of your hind legs and slam the hoof down on the center of your body's mass
- >>She writhes uncontrollably
- That's the solar plexus. Want me to keep going? I can show you more. Want to try for the sacral plexus?
- >>She shakes her head, tears pouring from her face
- Then...
- GIVE
- >>You press your face closer to hers
- ME
- >>You holler down at her
- BACK
- >>You are frothing at the mouth
- MY
- >>You gotta admit. You are furious, but you're feeling pretty good. You've actually won a fight!
- >>For being the toughest guy in Ponyville, you sure get your shit ruined a lot
- BOD...
- >>Just then a sharp whistling sound causes both you and Lyra to look up
- >>You are knocked for a loop
- >>Sent tumbling
- >>Your world inverts
- >>And, finally, you land on the ground
- >>On your back
- >>You attempt to sit up, but a pair of light blue hooves pin you down at the shoulders
- >>You look up to see a pair of violet eyes looking down at you with extreme prejudice
- D-Dashie?!
- >>She raises a hoof and clocks you in the head
- >>Dreamless sleep becomes you
- >>You know what? You're getting used to it
- >>Your eyes crease open, and you find yourself laying back in the lap of none other than BonBon the Destroyer
- >>She wipes your face clear of something with a wet rag
- >>“Oh, Lyra...â€
- >>She says
- >>“I don't know what's gotten into you, but BonBon will make it all better.â€
- >>There are tears in her eyes
- >>You curl your equine legs over yourself nervously
- >>Fuck, back to square one
- END
- >>You were never more uncomfortable than you were last night
- >>Sleeping along side a pony
- >>Equus ferus caballus
- >>They're animals
- >>It didn't help that BonBon couldn't keep her hooves to herself
- >>From trying to cop a feel between your legs
- >>To trying to sensually caress your horn
- >>This isn't even hell
- >>Celestia unknowingly brought you into purgatory
- >>And you're so scared of BonBon that you couldn't just vocally snap at her
- >>No, you remember what happened to your eye a few days ago too well for that
- >>But you were human, then
- >>Things were so much simpler when you were human
- >>Back then, BonBon just wanted to beat your ass
- >>Now she wants to beat your ass with...
- >>Fuckin'...
- >>Fabricated cock
- >>You got little sleep that night
- >>You were shivering from fear far too much for that
- >>Morning came
- >>In expert fashion you fall out of bed, thankfully not waking BonBon the Destroyer
- >>And although you were exhausted, your determination was set
- >>You would get your body back, come hell or high water
- >>You just had to figure out how
- >>You made your way into the shower and did your thing
- >>There was some difficulty in figuring out how to shower as a pony
- >>But you sure as shit weren't going to wake up BonBon to ask her how to do it
- >>Hell no, forget that
- >>You start formulating a plan as you get ready for the day
- >>This isn't a problem that you can beat just by punching it
- >>Which sucks
- >>There has to be something that you can do
- >>You prepare and eat a breakfast of cheap cereal jacked from Lyra and BonBon's cupboards
- >>You then get to pacing in the living room
- >>BonBon wakes up and greets you
- >>“Hi there, love~!â€
- >>You grit your teeth but do your best to force a smile
- Good morning...
- >>“What's the matter? Rough night last night? I slept like a log!â€
- >>You hung your head low and glared at her
- >>She slept through the whole thing?
- >>Great, you're going to bed with a sleeprapist
- >>What in the hell is wrong with this technicolor world of two dimensions?!
- >>BonBon meanders over to you and nudges you, side against side
- >>“Hey... feel like a little early morning work out before I get to work?â€
- >>The sensual tone that she breathed with those words was enough to tell you that you wanted none of it
- I have a headache
- >>BonBon furrows her brows and goes to continue her morning routine
- >>“...'d make you forget about hands if you'd give me a chance...â€
- >>She mutters as she vanishes into the kitchen
- >>You hold it until she is out of sight, and then you shiver
- >>Oh, Celestia; this was so gross
- >>Clearly there was some stress in the relationship between Lyra and BonBon
- >>Why was living in a lesbian household so hard?!
- >>You were about to return to your pacing when you heard crying coming from the kitchen
- >>It was soft, but your equine ears reflexively turned towards noise
- >>Something you couldn't control
- >>Curiosity killed you, and you clopped over to the kitchen
- >>BonBon sat with her back towards the entrance, leaning over her cereal
- >>You frowned
- >>Poor girl
- >>You have to wonder if Lyra really treated her right
- >>Because, clearly, she loves Lyra
- >>Thing is, you're not Lyra
- >>But still...
- >>You make your way out front, scoop up the morning paper in your teeth, and bring it inside
- >>You take it straight to BonBon, who looks at you through her depression
- >>To be completely honest, you feel awkward from all directions at once
- Listen...
- I'm sorry.
- >>She chokes
- Can I get you anything?
- >>Oh, jeez, what the HELL were you doing?
- >>It was too early for this shit
- >>“...Why can't we be like we were before?â€
- >>You look at her inquisitively
- >>Your eyes shift left, and then right, before settling back on her uncomfortably
- >>You start to sweat
- >>“All through school, you were always the quirky one. It was so adorable...â€
- >>She started
- >>“But everypony called you names and picked on you for your little hobbies, and the color of your coat,â€
- >>Funny. You would make fun of this coat, too. Girl was snot-colored.
- >>“...and for not being so great with magicâ€
- >>Well, now you were interested. Not great with magic? Bullshit.
- >>That's how you got in to this mess in the first place!
- >>“...But I was always there for you.â€
- >>“Every damn time a bully tried to take your lunch, or haze you, I chased them off for youâ€
- >>“I was so happy when you finally asked me on a date during our final years of school! That night was so magical, your horn started working!â€
- >>You zoned out, thinking about what you were being told
- >>Alright. So.
- >>Lyra was an outcast growing up
- >>BonBon was protective of her
- >>And now they're living together
- >>But something changed at some point
- >>You also found it hard to look upon her now and see the same four-legged demon that you did before
- >>She was desperate, starved for love, repressed, maybe emotionally abused
- >>You were there that night. Before you switched bodies, Lyra was screaming at BonBon to leave her alone
- >>Seeing her from Lyra's eyes, it was hard to see the harbinger of violence that you did as Anon
- >>“...I could tolerate the whole human thing at firstâ€
- >>Now your interest is REALLY piqued
- >>Your ears go up like a pair of sonar towers
- >>“Yeah, it was a little silly. But it was harmless, and you're my little lyra! But then that...â€
- >>She beat her hoof against the table, rattling her spook in her bowl
- >>“...ASSHOLE, Anonymous, had to come along and now your just obsessed!â€
- >>Not awkward at all. Go on
- >>She went back to sobbing, her tears falling from her cheeks into her bowl
- >>“What's happening to you, Lyra?! I love you so much!â€
- >>So, apparently, you are the reason for all of this
- >>Now you kind of wish you never helped
- >>Your lip curls, and your eyes shift off to the side
- >>Celestia, Luna, and all the divine icons of this world; why do you care so much?
- Well... I lffvffvvv
- >>You fumble, your teeth gripping your lower lip as if to tell you
- >>NO
- >>THIS IS WRONG
- >>“...Huh?â€
- >>BonBon looks up from her misery
- >>Okay, look, this was for her. You're just going to have to role-play Lyra until you get your body back
- I said I LFFVFF...
- >>BonBon creased her eyes, not understanding
- >>Your face went red, fighting against every physical attempt of your mouth to keep you from saying it
- I said I love you, too.
- >>Well, that did it. No going back, now
- >>BonBon brightened up, instantly
- >>“...Really?â€
- Of... course I do, darling...?
- You mean the world to me.
- And no human is ever going to change that.
- >>Dammit
- >>Dammit dammit dammit
- >>You should have kept your big mouth shut
- >>BonBon went from pathetic depression to hopeful optimism with the flip of a coin, lunging forward and wrapping her forelegs around you
- >>You recoil and scrunch your nose, eyes shifting all about
- >>“Oh, Lyra! I love you so much!â€
- >>A coo-coo clock on the wall chimed, signaling the start of a new hour
- >>BonBon gasped
- >>“Ohmygosh! I need to get to work!â€
- >>She leaned in and kissed you on the cheek
- >>“Take care, sweetheart! I'll be back laterâ€
- >>She dashed towards the front door
- >>You walked calmly behind her, your face red
- >>“Oh, and remember, stay in today. With your injuries I don't want anything to happen to you.â€
- >>She closed the door and rocketed off to work
- >>You stood in place, pondering over the events of this morning
- >>Considering the following
- >>Yeah, still fucking gross
- >>And wrong
- >>Well
- >>Good going, Anon
- >>Getting your old body back just became that much more critical
- >>And like HELL you weren't going to leave the house
- END
- >>That morning was really awkward
- >>You did your best to force it out of your mind
- >>But you couldn't
- >>Now you weren't just fighting to get your body back
- >>You were fighting to save a freaky-deeky lesbian relationship between two disgusting animals
- >>Ugh
- >>BonBon was a hazard to your health
- >>Why were you so dead-set on fixing this for her?
- >>You should really only care about retrieving that which was stolen from you
- >>But that's just not how you worked
- >>You had to be a mushy sad-sap
- >>And so you went, clopping down the road
- >>Saddlebag slung over your back
- >>Twilights books were in there; they needed to be returned
- >>They would also be your front if BonBon found out and asked
- >>The way equine hips and shoulders moved while you walked was so awkward
- >>Your ass was on full display
- >>Being a pony was gross
- >>To say that you didn't like it was an understatement
- >>But when you got close enough to the Library, you looked through the window
- >>Lo and behold, Mister 'Anon' was inside, yucking it up with your friends
- >>This made you growl
- >>But you had to keep calm
- >>Reserved
- >>Classy
- >>Otherwise, shit was going to fall apart
- >>You stuck out your chest, put on your pokerface, and sallied forth
- >>You had a job to do
- >>“Anon... are you sure? I mean, it's so sudden...â€
- >>“I'm sure, Twilight. I would be happier.â€
- >>You come through the door in the middle of a conversation
- >>You stop. They have not noticed you yet
- >>Lyra had your body wearing the same exact clothes as you wore several days ago when you guys switched
- >>She smelled like she hasn't bathed
- >>And she hasn’t shaved your face, either, since that night
- >>The hair was a mess
- >>It made you want to hurl
- >>“But, I mean, Anon...â€
- >>Twilight was visibly upset
- >>You grew suspicious and leaned in; one eye squinted and the other brow raised
- >>“This world is not meant for me, Twilight. I belong in the human world.â€
- >>Your eyes shoot wide
- >>“...I guess it's your choiceâ€
- >>Twilight looked down
- >>“Send the letter, Spikeâ€
- >>He acknowledged, and the scroll in his hands vanished in a green wash of flame
- Wha-what? No! What?!
- >>You suddenly trot up and leap up on the table, spreading your legs like supports to a tent and glaring at Twilight Sparkle
- What was that? Right there!
- What did you do!?
- >>Lyra, still inhabiting your body, stumbled back away from you and lifted her arms over her face
- >>Acting like she was threatened by you
- >>“See?! The crazy stalker follows me wherever I go!â€
- >>Twilight looked over to 'Anonymous' for a moment, then to you
- >>She furrowed her brows
- >>“It's royal business. Get off my tableâ€
- >>Internally, you curse Twilight
- >>She was never, EVER this cooperative when it suited you
- >>You bounce off the table
- >>But you just turn your attention on Lyra
- You're a liar
- >>Twilight spoke up, then
- >>“Lyra! You've never acted like this, before.â€
- >>It was already starting to fall apart
- >>But you couldn't help it
- You're being had, Twilight. That's not me! I mean, that's not Anonymous.
- >>The purple pony leaned forward, clearly not amused
- >>“Looks like Anonymous to me...â€
- Twilight! I need you to listen to me for just a...
- >>“You know, Lyra, I tried to tell Anon that you weren't stalking him. But I can see I was wrong. You're acting really weird.â€
- >>She turned her head over to Lyra and smiled sweetly
- >>“I'm sorry, Anonymous...â€
- >>How could they not see it?!
- >>You loved the hell out of this woman like family and she can't even be bothered to tell the difference?!
- >>By Celestia, you need better friends
- >>You bucked your saddle bag off of your back, and it landed in front of twilight
- >>You can just see Lyra taunting at you through those eyes that used to be yours
- >>It infuriated you
- >>Spike convulsed
- >>“Oh cru...â€
- >>He belched a shower of flame, and Twilight used her magic to pluck the resulting scroll out of the air
- >>She carried it over to herself and unfurled the scroll
- >>“Dear Twilight Sparkle,â€
- >>She began, not caring that you were there
- >>“It is with a heavy heart that I receive news of Anon's desire to leave us. But out of my endless respect for his wishes, I will personally come to Ponyville and perform the spell to return him to his own continuum. You all will have two days, including this one, to say your good-byes and prepare yourselves.â€
- >>“Signed, Princess Celestia.â€
- >>You recoil in horror
- >>'Anonymous' pumps his fist
- >>Twilight's spirits drain
- >>Spike doesn't really give a damn
- >>“Well... maybe we can ask Pinkie to throw a good-bye party for you, Anon?â€
- >>You whirl around and growl at Lyra with the typical threatening wold sound effect
- You sonofa bitch!
- >>Twilight comes to attention, her ears jump up
- >>But it was less than a second before you jump on Lyra
- So was this your plan, Lyra?! You sick tramp!
- >>You slap a hoof across your former face
- Give me my body back!
- >>Lyra doesn't fight back, just kicks around and puts up a token defense
- >>“You're Crazy, Lyra!â€
- Right now! It's my life, dammit!
- >>You hook your hooves around the collar of her shirt and bang her against the floor a few times
- You have no right! You hear me?! Look at you! You're not even using my body right!
- You think you'll last in the human world?! Fat chance! And what about BonBon, huh?!
- Now return what's mine, asshole!
- >>You backhoof Lyra across the face once more
- >>Who could blame you for snapping? You're a nice guy, but you're also violent
- >>And at this juncture, you were being forced to watch as your everything slips out of your hands
- >>Or hooves, in this case
- >>Your friendships, your personnel life
- >>But at this point, it wasn't JUST about you
- >>Mostly, but not just
- >>BonBon was a sweet, lovable little wrecking ball that was going to tenderize your ASS if you didn't get your body back
- >>Oh, and also, the love of her life would be gone forever and she wouldn't even know it
- >>Lyra's face adopts a shallow blush
- >>Twilight finally leaps to action and plucks you from Lyra with a magical aura
- >>Her horn glows, and she drags you through the air helplessly
- >>“Listen, Lyra, I don't know what the heck is wrong with you...â€
- I'm not Lyra! I'm not a pony! I'm a human!
- >>You kick your legs helplessly, tumbling around in the air
- >>Twilight rolls her eyes
- >>“Yes, we all know about your... 'research.' But Anon is about to leave us and...â€
- >>She sniffs, holding back tears
- >>“...and I'm not going to let you ruin this for him!â€
- >>You tug on your mane as Twilight starts to carry you towards the door
- >>You grab on to the edge of one of the book recesses in the wall with one hoof
- >>She tugs and tugs, but you persevere and jab your other hoof to Lyra
- Tell her! You better tell her the truth RIGHT now!
- >>Lyra just gets up and brushes herself off
- >>“Lyra, I don't know what you're talking about...â€
- >>You growl again
- You liar! You're a damn liar!
- >>Twilight wrests you free and swings the door open
- Just you wait, Lyra! You won't get away with this! And when I get my body back, I'll murk your ass all accro-
- >>Just like that, you get thrown out by Twilight's magic and land on your flank twenty meters from the library
- >>Moments later, your – empty – saddle bag comes flying as well and smacks you in the face
- >>Great. This was just getting better and better.
- >>Less than forty-eight hours
- >>That was all the time you had until this deal was sealed
- >>You weren't going to let that happen
- END
- >>You can't believe this asshole actually commissioned a pinkie party
- >>The very thought makes you want to blow chunks
- >>The sun was going down
- >>It was just an hour before the kick off, and if you wanted until after then, everyone would be around Lyra
- >>After that, it would be one hundred per-cent impossibru
- >>You cut it close
- >>Way too close
- >>But by Celestia, you had to get this done
- >>And you had to get this done tonight
- >>You told BonBon that you were going for a walk to clear your head
- >>Your temper ran high
- >>You were a lot more profane than normal
- >>But that wasn't your fault
- >>You were armed with your saddle bag
- >>Your wits
- >>And the righteous fury of friendship, motherfucker
- >>All the pieces fell in place
- >>There would be no escape for Lyra, that body snatching bitch
- >>Tonight
- >>You and her
- >>Final destination
- >>Let's do this
- >>You weren't Applejack. You weren't going to buck down any doors.
- >>Instead, you were going to handle this like a classy gentleman
- >>You walked right up to the front door
- >>Pounded on it with your marshmallow hoof
- >>And plugged the peephole
- >>You could hear movement on the other side of the door
- >>But the door never opened
- >>You furrowed your brows and made an annoyed face before you knocked again
- >>“...Who's there?â€
- >>God, hearing your own voice talk to you was always disturbing
- >>But you planned for this contingency
- >>You drew in a big breath
- Well hey hey, SUGARQUEWB! It's your ol' pal, Applejack! Jus' wanted ta spend some time with ya'll before the big party!
- >>You rehearsed this
- >>It wasn't spot on, but your knowledge of southern accents combined with Lyra's vocal cords produced a close-enough replication of Applejack
- >>“...Are you gonna rape me?â€
- >>This motherfucker!
- Awh, heck no! Why would ya ask that? Besides, darlin', if'n ah wanted ta rape ya you think I’d knock?
- >>There was silence for just a moment
- >>Then you could hear the locks start to open
- >>First were the two bar locks
- >>And then the padlock
- >>Good, hurry the hell up, Lyra
- >>“...I forgot the combination to my combination lockâ€
- 4-4-9
- >>“HAH!â€
- >>It takes you a second before your ears drop
- ...
- >>GOD
- >>DAMMIT
- >>You jump to the large window near your front door and rear your hind legs before bucking it off of its railing
- >>It falls inward and shatters on the floor
- >>“What the?!â€
- >>You jump inside and bare your teeth, looking to and fro
- >>Lyra retreats up the stairs
- >>But now you're on home turf
- >>You know this place like the back of your hand
- >>You had to, for how many times it's been invaded by Applejack
- Not so fast!
- >>You follow her right up the stairs
- >>Her dumb ass tries to hide in the bath tub
- >>But you're behind her the whole way
- >>The second she turns around, you are right there to give her a hoof to the face
- >>She collapses, her consciousness done and gone for now
- >>Lyra comes around
- >>But you aren't worried. She struggles, find herself trapped in a chair with multiple layers of rope binding her
- >>The cellar of your home makes an adequate place for a ritual like this
- >>The whole thing is illuminated by an array of wax candles
- >>You had just finished chalking a circle around her, making sure the diagram is just like it was in her book
- >>You spit the stick of chalk out of your mouth and lash your tongue out
- Eych! Freakin' hooves.
- >>She tries to speak, but you gagged her with tightly bound cloth
- >>Felt awkward while you did it, too. Like you were getting ready to rape yourself
- >>Confound these ponies
- >>You storm over to the spell book on the work bench, hop up onto a stool, and hoof through the passages
- I should have done this a long time ago, Lyra. I'm taking my body back the same way you took it from me.
- >>Your mane was messy, out of sorts with curls sticking out from the mass of hair
- >>But you didn't care. It wouldn't be your problem in a second
- >>Having learned what you needed, you walk over to where you left your saddle bag and disengage the lock, pouring the contents
- >>It's an array of glass phials, corked, and filled with many different colors of liquid
- >>You afford Lyra a psychotic glance as you pace back and forth between them and the book
- You may be a learned alchemist, but I was a bachelor for... too many years.
- Friendship is magic.
- Mixing drinks is not.
- >>Lyra rocks in the chair, trying to get free
- >>“Mmmf!â€
- >>You tilt your head back, give a crazy laugh, and then throw your head back down to look at her
- Oh! You'll find that to be quite useless!
- >>You exclaim, mimicking her words to you on that faithful night
- >>After getting the correct measurements, you go about your work
- >>With difficulty
- >>You drop a phial before you manage to get the cork open
- >>Thankfuly it does not break
- Gah! Freakin' HOOVES!
- >>Lyra laughs at you through her gag
- Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up! Losing your hands is going to be the least of your problems when this is done.
- >>You hastily mix the potion to the best of your ability, and then you draw up a knife in your teeth
- >>You quickly run it across your arm, and then wring a few drops of blood from the wound into the phial
- >>It starts to react
- >>You make your way over to Lyra
- Oh yeah, you remember this part, don't you?
- >>You say, maintaining a psychotic smile
- >>With the knife in your teeth, you saunter up and run it across the leg of your former body
- >>Lyra cringes from the pain and muffles a groan through her gag
- >>With a wound open, you grab the potion and make your way back, scooping a trail of blood into the mix
- >>You are really, REALLY getting tired of your head being sideways to hold the potion in your teeth
- >>Invigorated by the thought that you would soon have your good old body back, you climb up the tied up Lyra, scoop the gag out, and jam the phial into her mouth
- Drink!
- >>You command
- >>She was taken by surprised and the solution leaked down her throat
- >>You clasped the phial between your hooves and pulled it from her mouth, hopping down from her lap and landing on your hind hooves
- >>“Look, look! Lyra...!â€
- >>You look over your equine shoulder
- What the hell did you call me?!
- >>She bit her lower lip
- >>“I'm sorry! Listen, we can deal. I'm not supposed to be a pony! The stars tell me that I'm a human! I WAS BORN IN THE WRONG BODY!â€
- >>You pause
- >>Glare at her for a minute
- That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard
- >>“But...!â€
- >>You turn to face her
- Shut up! You have a wonderful woman
- Er,
- You have a wonderful little psycho butch in BonBon, who loves you with all of her freaky-deeky lesbian heart.
- >>Lyra falls silent, not sure how to answer
- Now YOU'RE going to give me my body back, go home, and have freaky-deeky animal sex with her and leave me the hell alone!
- >>“...She never understood me. The stars tell me...!â€
- Just shut the hell up and let's do this.
- >>You cackle like a mad scientist
- >>Lyra shuts her eyes, which in just a moment will become your eyes once again
- >>You down the potion, experiencing that fowl taste again
- >>And once the deed is done, you throw the phial down where it shatters
- >>Alright. Body, here I come!
- >>You brace yourself
- >>She braces herself
- >>Lyra pries one eye open
- >>“...Well?â€
- What the hell? I did everything the book says!
- >>Lyra starts laughing
- >>“Oh ho! So you never DID figure out unicorn magic!â€
- >>You growl at her
- I did EXACTLY what that book said!
- >>You jab a hoof towards the book
- >>“All rituals such as this require you to cast a trigger spell to initiate the reactionâ€
- >>“You idiot!â€
- >>She goes into a fit of insane, high-pitched laughter
- >>You grind your teeth in frustration, brows furrowing deeply
- >>You take up the knife again and move over to her, propping your forelegs into her lap and poising the blade against her neck
- Teul ve ow tvu catht lhe fpell!
- >>Talking with something in your teeth was hard
- >>She chuckles at you
- >>“Ha ha! Or you'll what, my dear Lyra?â€
- Dvon't thuck wiff ve!
- >>Just then, you hear hoofbeats approaching
- >>“Anon? You here? Your window's wrecked, dude.â€
- >>“Hey, pardner? Ya 'round?â€
- >>Oh, Celestia dammit
- >>Before you can react, a set of orange hooves descend down the stair way followed by a set of blue hooves
- End
- >>By the great Celestia of Equestria
- >>This just wasn't your night
- >>You went through all that preparation
- >>All that work
- >>And it turned out to be a total bust
- >>To say you're frustrated is just understating it
- >>The sheer magnitude of your rage is off the charts
- >>Completely incalculable
- >>But that rage is only there as a filler for the hope that has left a void in your heart
- >>For now, as your final gambit to fix this mess has fallen on its face,
- >>You are left with absolutely no options
- >>It seems like the universe is just conspiring against you
- >>Perhaps Lyra's odyssey IS ordained in the heavenly bodies of both of your worlds, as she claims
- >>But you will be damned if you don't do every goddamn thing in your power to beat the will of the universe
- >>You will resort to that one skill that you always fall back on when the chips are down
- >>The only thing you have ever been good at in Equestria
- >>Fighting
- >>Applejack and Rainbow Dash stand in awe
- >>It is like time is frozen, with 'Lyra' having a knife to 'Anon's' throat
- >>Their mouths are agape with disbelief
- >>But also fear for what you might do to Rainbow's friend, and Applejack's primary rape target
- >>You must say
- >>Well played, universe
- >>You back away from the Lyra-anon, dropping the knife from your jaws as you eye the two interlopers
- >>They are the strongest two that you know
- >>And they are both here, ready to defend who they believe is Anon
- >>You are not foolish enough to believe that you have anything short of a fight on your hands
- >>“You!â€
- >>Rainbow finally speaks up
- >>She jabs an accusing hoof in your direction
- >>“I thought you would have learned your lesson the other day!â€
- >>You lower to a half crouch, traditional pony fighting stance
- >>Celestia, this is so alien to you
- >>“Wha? What'dya mean?â€
- >>Applejack questions
- >>You growl
- >>They aren't going to listen to you
- >>If Twilight didn't, these two won't
- >>“This unicorn attacked Anon yesterday morning! I found her trying to rape him!â€
- >>Wait, what?
- >>You lift out of your fighting stance and lift an eyebrow
- Hey, now
- Wait a second
- >>Applejack is enraged at this
- >>“What?! No foolin'?â€
- >>Apparently, your her 'rape territory' or some such
- >>“Saw it with my own two eyes!â€
- >>Lyra speaks up
- >>“Oh, it was so horrible! She was trying to kill me! Something about occult sacrifices!â€
- >>Applejack stamps a hoof on the ground
- >>“Well, ah heard enough! Come on, Rainbow. Looks like we got ourselves a psycho to corral.â€
- >>Dash nods and grins, smacking her hooves together before leaping between you and your prisoner
- >>Applejack advances right on you
- >>And you can see Lyra grinning like a fucking idiot just behind Rainbow
- >>You growl once again
- Alright, you two. You think you can take me on?
- >>Dash scoffs at your bravado
- >>Applejack Leans forward and lowers her head towards you, finding your perceived front to be amusing
- >>“Ah think ya should consider coming quietly, or we'll have't...â€
- >>You instantly go on the attack, scooping your body under applejack
- >>You lift her, then buck her off across the room
- >>You slam your hooves into the ground, glaring with a frothy mouth at Rainbow
- >>Rainbow looks back at the scene with her jaw dropped
- Don't make me do this, bro. Not you. Do NOT make me fight you.
- >>You know that you hit like a marshmallow in this body. But you can use their own mass against them.
- >>They're underestimating you. They have no idea who the fuck they're messing with
- >>You're invested in your one and only tangible talent
- >>And, dare you say, you have become quite efficient at it
- >>Snapping out of it, Rainbow shakes her head
- >>“Hey! Only Anon is allowed to call me that!â€
- >>Rainbow charges at you
- >>You counter by swaying to the side
- >>letting her overshoot you
- >>And then bucking her flank to send her crashing into Applejack, who was just starting to recover
- >>Your eyes are beyond bloodshot
- Just walk away, you two. This has to be done! I'm not letting some two-bit magician make off with MY body!
- >>Lyria wobbles in the chair
- >>“She's crazy! Crazy, I tell you!â€
- Shut up!
- >>“She's been stalking me for days and now this!â€
- >>You turn to face Lyria and flip the chair she is bound to, sending her crashing down to the ground
- I said SHUT UP!
- >>By this time, Applejack and Rainbow have recovered
- >>Rainbow leaps at you and wraps her forearms around your neck
- >>“Got her!â€
- >>“Alright, just hold her right there!â€
- Dammit, Rainbow!
- >>Applejack darts in front of you and rears her legs, bucking you at full draw right in the stomach
- >>It feels like your innards are going to burst through your mouth
- >>And the pain is immense
- >>But you're at the end of your rope. If you're taken down now, it's all over
- >>She rears for a second buck
- >>You quickly throw a hoof over your shoulder and clock Dashie, your precious bro Dashie, right in the eye
- >>She stumbles back, and you grip her arm to toss her over your hip right into Applejack
- >>You leap over them and land right on top of Lyra, glaring down at her face
- Tell me how to cast the spell! Right now!
- >>Lyra kicks and screams
- >>You throw a hoof across her face
- I wasn't that much of a pussy! Now tell me, or I'll kill you!
- I swear to Celestia, I'll do it!
- >>You lower your blunt horn to her throat
- >>You're mad. You're going to try anything at this point, because there is nothing else to try
- >>“Help me!!â€
- >>You give a feminine groan and get ready to smack Lyra again,
- >>“Okay! Git her!â€
- >>You are tackled off of Lyra and on to the floor
- >>Applejack straddles you and lays into your face with hooves
- >>You thrust a hoof to her throat and start doing the same, trading blows with her
- >>Rainbow unties Lyra, helping her get upright
- NO!
- >>You try to get up but Applejack thrusts a hoof into your chest and goes back to wailing on your face
- >>Your hooves flail upwards past Applejack, powerless to do much
- It's my body! These are my friends!
- >>You shout, but it all falls on deaf ears
- >>You start to fade to black
- >>And the last thing you see is Rainbow chortling her broken-ass chortle
- >>Assuring 'Anon' that they had it in the bag
- >>And then brofisting her
- >>Before long you are dragged by a pair of burley equine guards across a cold concrete floor
- >>Bound in a white straight jacket
- >>Muzzle fixed to you
- >>You are thrown with great strength into a cell, where your back slams against the wall and you fall to your flank
- >>The cell is slammed shut, and the guards leave you to your misery
- >>You hate everything
- >>You hate life
- >>You hate Celestia
- >>You hate Lyra
- >>You hate your so-called friends
- >>And, most of all
- >>You hate the party music that has erupted from the nearby Sugarcube corner
- >>Less than twelve hours left
- >>And what can you possibly do, now?
- >>Celestia's light broke through the veil laid by Luna the night before
- >>You pitied Luna
- >>You understood her
- >>That no matter how hard you worked...
- >>The way of the cosmos would just overrule you
- >>That's what seemed to happen in your case
- >>If, indeed, the legacy of Lyra as a human WAS ordained by the heavenly bodies of Equestria and >>Earth, then you suppose you were pretty stupid to try and stop it
- >>You sigh through your muzzle
- >>Still, though
- >>What does the future hold for you?
- >>Your body will be gone within the hour
- >>You will never again be human
- >>As much of a human as you were, anyway
- >>Really, you were more a shell than anything
- >>Celestia made sure of that
- >>But at least it was something
- >>Now, you're a human spirit stuck in a pony body
- >>Fuck, now you sound like Lyra
- >>You sigh through your vented muzzle again
- >>Nothing but forlorn hope n your cold stare off into nothingness
- >>But you've been greedy, too
- >>This wasn't just about you
- >>It mostly was
- >>But not all
- >>It was also about BonBon
- >>That psychotic wrecking ball of a butch
- >>She still thinks you're Lyra
- >>Alas, her true love will soon exit this world, along with everything you had left
- >>And you will wither away, alone
- >>BonBon will do the same
- >>And the world will keep on spinning
- >>Or whatever this planetoid does
- >>There is a rustling
- >>Oh, yes, definitely a rustling
- >>You put it off as construction work taking place outside
- >>Sounds like a chisel
- >>But it's going way too fast to be a hand chisel
- >>What were those machines from your world?
- >>Jackhammers
- >>But Equestria doesn't have jackhammers, does it?
- >>Hm. You put it out of your mind
- >>Except... it's getting louder
- >>And... it's coming from under you?
- >>There's a break in the ground next to you
- >>It causes you to jump
- >>Your eyes go wide
- >>The break expands
- >>Suddenly, a hard hat emerges from the ground
- >>And under it is a pink globe
- >>Two large, light blue eyes crank around to meet your gaze
- >>The mystery mare smiles, and throws her hat off to reveal none other than...
- >>“Hi Anon!â€
- >>Pinkie Pie
- >>You breathe a sigh of relief as the Pink dynamo unfastens your muzzle
- >>You feel so good to be out of that restricting leather and iron, and out of the straight jacket
- Pinkie... is that really you?
- >>“Yep! Just me, no one else!â€
- >>She gives you a huge grin
- But how did you know I was Anon?
- >>She races her speech, communicating physically as much as verbally
- >>“Oh! That was easy! When you said you were going home that one night at Sugar Cube Corner... remember that? At Sugarcube Corner? Huh?â€
- Yes.
- >>“Well I had a twitch! And a twitch is never good! See, a twitch in my tail means...â€
- >>She drones on and on
- Pinkie!
- >>“Oh, sorry! But then also, I heard that you were leaving Equestria!â€
- >>She acts out a huge gasp, her hooves squeezing her cheeks
- >>Pinkie speaks at a million miles a second
- >>“So then we threw a party, and you CAME!â€
- >>She put her hooves on the ground and leaned in to you, causing you to recoil
- >>“But that's impossible, because you NEVER come to my parties, much less ASK for one! So I overheard Twilight talking about an incident in the library, and then Applejack and Rainbow said...â€
- >>But this one time, you found yourself so thankful for Pinkie Pie's intervention and her ability to deduce your situation, that you couldn't bring yourself to yell at her to stop
- >>You were just... happy
- >>Something you haven't been in a few days
- >>You smiled at her
- >>She stopped, looked at you
- >>She noted your smile
- >>She looked at you suspiciously
- >>“...Are you sure you're anon?â€
- >>You frowned
- >>“Just kidding! Hehehaha~!â€
- >>You joined her in an infectious chuckle, though you were much more reserved about it
- >>You tapped a hoof against her shoulder
- >>Normally you don't like to make contact with other people like that
- >>But suddenly, you realized
- >>You have less than an hour left!
- >>You leaped up to your hooves
- Pinkie! Do you know where the others are?!
- >>“Well, DUH! That's what I've been trying to tell you!â€
- >>Your lids half close, waiting for her to go on
- >>“They're over at the library!â€
- Great! Awesome!
- Let's go, we don't have a lot of time.
- >>You get ready to scramble down the tunnel when you stop for a second, prop yourself back up, and look to Pinkie Pie
- >>She seems stumped by your lack of action and cants her head
- Thank you.
- >>You say
- For being such a good friend.
- >>She always tries to look out for you when you're around
- >>She got you that job at the corner store
- >>And she tries earnestly to learn more about you
- >>And after all this time, you've never really told her how much you appreciated it all
- >>Just yelled at her, and tried to push her away
- >>She smiled
- >>“You're welcome~!â€
- >>You looked down in the hole and began your journey
- End
- Alright, Pinkie.
- Get in the zone.
- >>“Okay!â€
- You in the zone?
- >>“Yep!â€
- We got one shot to save friendship, and we're the only ones who can do it.
- >>“We are?â€
- Yes, Pinkie. We are.
- I can't promise that we'll make it out of this alive
- But we have to try.
- >>“Okay~!â€
- For me...
- For BonBon...
- For Friendship!
- >>“Yay~!â€
- Is the payload prepared?
- >>“Aye aye, Captain!â€
- I cannot ask you to do this, Pinkie.
- >>“Don't worry! It'll be fun~!â€
- You're a true soldier, Comrade Pinkie Pie.
- >>“I am?â€
- Once more into the breech!
- >>“Okay~â€
- On my count
- >>“Standing by, Captain!â€
- Alright. On the count of three. Ready?
- >>“Yep!â€
- Three, t
- >>There is a massive black powder explosion
- >>Celestia lowers her horn closer and closer to Lyra
- >>“Anon, it is with a heavy heart that I do this. I wish you nothing but good tidings in all of your futu...â€
- >>You crash through the window
- >>Followed by a contrail of confetti and half-inflated balloons
- >>You'll pay Twilight back for it later
- >>“What in tar-nation?!â€
- >>“What?â€
- >>“Hey!â€
- >>“Huh?â€
- >>“Oh, dear!â€
- >>You sail through the air and clock Applejack right in the cheek, bouncing off of her just in time to stand over a knocked out, unconscious orange pony
- >>The racket is horrible
- >>It's exactly what you were wanting
- >>Surprise
- >>Celestia reared her head and looked at you
- >>Her concentration broken, the glow vanished from her horn
- >>You weren't a moment too soon. She was just about to send Lyra to the human world
- >>Lyra recoiled and looked at you in shock
- >>“You again?!â€
- >>Rainbow Dash jeers before she dashes through the air to dive on you
- >>There was a second black powder explosion
- >>“Woo-hoo! Dynamic entry!â€
- >>A massive pink projectile holding one crème pie in each of her forehooves came soaring through to collide with an unsuspecting Rainbow Dash
- >>Taken by surprise, Dash is slammed against the wall upside down where she slides down to the floor, unconscious
- >>There, the ones you were worried about were taken care of
- >>Now to get the fucking unicorns
- >>Twilight was already charging a spell, standing up from her seat
- >>“Lyra!!â€
- >>The purple one screamed
- >>You jump at her and wrap your hooves around the shoulders
- >>Pushing and then yank, push and pull
- >>Twilight gets jostled
- >>Her spell fizzles as she gets dizzy
- >>You hurl her around yourself right at Pinky
- >>And Pinky, being the team player she is, throws one of her pies straight at Twilight, nailing her in the face
- >>Twilight, is sweeped off of her feet, groaning in the thralls of dizziness and nausea
- >>Pinkie then throws her last pie at Rarity, whose features become mired in thick crème topping
- >>She outright faints
- >>You look to Fluttershy and snarl, loudly
- >>“Oh! Um...â€
- >>She backs off, with all of her friends absent
- >>This all took place in the span of ten seconds, and you were already marching on Lyra
- >>The only ones standing besides you, Pinkie, and Lyra are Celestia and Luna themselves
- >>As expected, Lyra moves and takes up a cowardly position to the side of the white Alicorn
- >>This enrages you
- >>You would fucking never do that, and these people thought it was you
- >>You growl like a dog
- >>And Celestia lifts a single wing to cover Lyra
- >>“What... is the MEANING of this?!â€
- >>She looks down at you with magenta eyes that reflect royal authority and fiery power
- >>Her size
- >>Her stature
- >>Her power
- >>At one time, they made you fear
- >>But now? You have nothing to lose
- >>You don't back down
- Get out of my way, your majesty!
- >>You call, eying the far larger Celestia
- >>She rears her head back, not used to being spoken to with such venom
- >>And for good reason
- >>She had the power to enforce her authority
- >>But if this means that you and BonBon live empty lives? You'd rather be dead anyway
- I lost my mind because of you.
- >>You slam a front hoof down to the ground, creating a ferocious bang above your size
- I'll not be losing my body as well.
- >>You sounded less intimidating as a female pony, but your point got accross
- >>Celestia immediately tensed up, her pupils shrinking to non existence
- >>Luna's ears shoot straight up, and the two princesses look at one another
- >>They knew what you were talking about
- >>“Oh..um... what's going...?â€
- SHUT UP, FLUTTERSHY!
- >>“...okayâ€
- >>It was way too early for this shit
- >>Pinkie, showing once in a life time attention span, took a stance to the side and slightly behind you
- >>None of this would be possible without her
- >>That party cannon of hers rocks
- >>Celestia still looked down at you, trying to piece the situation together
- >>You march forward
- Alright, Lyra
- I'm tired of playing games
- >>You heave a breath, your blood pressure going through the roof
- I've spent the better part of a week in your body
- And I'm ready to take back what's mine!
- >>Celestia coiled her wing back into her side
- >>She slowly cranked her head around to meet Lyra's gaze
- >>It lasted for a moment
- >>Wherein Celestia was looking deep into the soul of who she thought was Anon
- >>Searching for Anonymous, but not finding him
- >>She came to realize that this was not the mind upon which she did irrecoverable damage
- >>And once that realization was made, Lyra did something drastic
- >>The human hands came up, and there was a fast jab made to Celestia
- >>It was quick, inside of a fraction of a second
- >>WHACK
- >>And with that, the white Alicorn was knocked out
- >>And her unconscious body is caught in a headlock
- >>“Sister!â€
- >>Luna immediately began to summon a spell, flaring her wings aggressively
- >>However, Lyria planned for this well
- >>She produced one of your kitchen knives and put it to Celestia's throat
- >>“There will be NONE of thatâ€
- >>Luna's eyes widened and she instantly halted her spell
- >>Your mouth hung open, and you took a step back
- >>Despite your harsh words earlier, you didn't want Celestia dead or anything
- Alright, Lyra. Put the knife down! We have you surrounded...
- >>You, being the brilliant anon that you are, take stock of the situation only after you said it
- >>His back is to the window you and pinkie came through
- >>And you're all fanned out in front of him
- >>Damnit
- ...at least from this side!
- >>“Nice try, Anon.â€
- >>She finally dropped the act since the game is up
- >>She stuck the knife closer to the Princess' unconscious, muscular throat
- >>Lyra looked over to Luna
- >>“You're going to send me to the human world, or this library is going to get really messy. Got it?â€
- >>Luna reared back, lifting one hoof off the ground
- Why the hell do you want to go to the human world, anyway? Do you even know what it's like?
- >>Luna didn't say anything, but she appreciated you stalling for time
- >>Lyra looked down at you
- >>“If I told you once, I told you a hundred timesâ€
- >>She explained
- >>“I am not compatible with this world.â€
- >>You furrowed your brows
- >>“You see, when I was little, I had dreams of hoofless creatures that walked upright. They would accept me, they didn't reject me for who I was, like the ponies of this world constantly did! And then, one day, you showed up.â€
- >>You lifted your eyebrow
- >>And you could only assume that everyone else' reaction was the same
- >>“A human, just like the ones in my dreams. I knew, then, that I wasn't having mere dreams. I was looking in to another world, projecting myself across time and space to a whole 'nother universe!â€
- >>“It was fate that brought you here to me, Anon. You, a human, who was so willing to surrender that which I sought. Do you not find your new body more fitting? Didn't you WANT to be a permanent equestrian? All I did was give you what you wanted, for what I wanted. I'm sick and tired of being alone, so I fixed it so that neither of us have to be.â€
- I didn't ask to be a pony! I never asked for this!
- >>You growled and took a step forward
- >>The knife was motioned along Celestia's neck
- >>You back off
- >>She held the cards, unfortunately
- Well, what about BonBon, then? She's always been with you and she always wants to stay with you You're not alone.
- >>Lyra sneered
- >>“And what do YOU know about her?!â€
- I know that she has a very deep love for you that I have had to spend the last couple days fighting off with a stick. Do you have any idea how many mental scars I've accrued over this whole stunt?! You ponies are disgusting!
- >>All eyes shifted to you
- >>You canted your head and smiled to Luna, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie
- ...I mean that in the most endearing way possible, of course.
- >>You force a huge smile
- >>“I agree with you, Mister Anonâ€
- >>Lyra started, peering out to the others to make sure they stayed where they were
- >>“So why is it that you should be allowed to run away from a world you don't like, while I should be damned for working to do the same thing?â€
- >>You clenched your teeth
- >>Then your snarl did out
- >>And you frowned
- >>You had no answer
- >>“Anonymous did not pilfer that which is not hisâ€
- >>Luna spoke up, thank Celestia
- >>“Nary did he hold any power over the conditions that brought him hither. He left no one in his wake as he passed from thither to hither.â€
- Like you would.
- >>You complete Luna's thought
- You'll be hard pressed to find a diamond like BonBon in the rough of human reality. Do you really want to turn your back on her?
- >>Lyra's hand started shaking
- I don't think she ever once turned her back on you
- >>Lyra clenches her teeth
- >>“No... no, she didn't. Never once...â€
- >>“I remember that she would give me candies in school every time she chased a bully off. It made me feel better... every time, she said seeing me smile made her feel better, tooâ€
- >>“And she never, ever let me face the world alone...â€
- >>You took a step forward
- Okay, Lyra, just put the knife down
- >>She looked over to Luna, then back to you, fearing the consequences of her actions; unsure if she should back down or use her situation to escape
- You're still fine. All you did was use my body to give the Sun Goddess a minor concussion
- You're still good! We can still make this right.
- >>You peered over at Luna
- ...Right?
- >>Luna was distracted, watching the scene unfold
- >>All luna could see was a future crater in the surface of the moon
- >>You nudge Luna's hoof with your own
- Luna!
- >>“Oh, yes. Yes, we mean thee no harm!â€
- >>You know your face really well
- >>The nose was starting to stiffen
- >>The upper lip was curling
- >>Well, here come the water works
- >>And, you were right, Lyra dropped the knife, where it clattered on the floor
- >>Then she immediately started to bawl like a baby
- >>You hung your head low, looking up through half closed eyes and a shallow smile
- >>You hated seeing grown men cry
- >>Especially when it was yourself
- >>But at least it was over
- >>Pinkie Pie threw a hoof over your shoulders and gave you a one-armed Pinkie hug
- >>Twilight managed to come to, looking upon the situation with crème and pie crust falling from her features
- >>“...What in the world did I miss?â€
- >>You could do nothing but give a relieved sigh
- >>“So, Lyra! Are you ready to give Anon his body back~?â€
- >>Pinkie Pie spoke for you, this time
- >>Lyra looked down into your body's hands
- >>She flexed the fingers
- >>She was going to miss them. This much was obvious
- >>“...Ye...â€
- >>“I told you to stay away from my Lyra!â€
- >>Suddenly, BonBon the destroyer leaps through the shattered window
- >>She goes straight for the kill, causing Lyranon to tumble on the floor until he comes to a stop
- >>She straddles her and hooks one hood into the collar of her shirt
- >>The other hoof is slammed into the face
- >>Again
- >>And again
- No! Wait!
- >>“I warned him to stay away from you!â€
- >>She smacks your body again, soliciting a curse from Lyra
- >>“No! Sweetie! It's me!â€
- >>WHACK
- >>You look to Luna
- Quick! Change us back!
- >>Luna nods and performs the spell, similar to the one used to initiate the reaction that fateful night
- With all the components in place, your spirits transfer
- >>It is such an odd sensation, being yanked from your body by ethereal magnetism to be anchored into another vessel
- >>Your spirits pass mid way, and soon you find yourself having transitioned from being a pony...
- >>To being a human, in LOTS of pain, with BonBon slamming her hoof into your face. Repeatedly.
- No!
- >>WHACK
- Stop!
- >>WHACK
- My eye!
- >>WHACK
- My other eye!
- >>WHACK
- What IS it with you and eyes!?
- >>Between getting your face pounded in, you can see a depressed Lyra getting used to her pony body once more
- >>Luna makes her way over to her unconscious sister and nudges her with her snout
- She looks to Lyra
- >>“Your judgment will be forthcoming. Prepare thyself.â€
- >>In a flash of light, both of the Alicorns vanish
- >>You kind of wonder why none of them have bothered to get BonBon the Destroyer off of you
- >>They probably figure your big and tough enough to do it yourself
- >>Fuck, you need better friends
- >>After accepting the portent handed down by Luna, she clops over on all four legs
- >>“BonBon, cut it out.â€
- >>“I warned him to stay away from you Lyra!â€
- >>WHACK
- >>You know what? At this point, you're just going with the flow
- >>After a few moments of explaining, BonBon still has you held down in a threatening position
- >>“So... how long has he been in your body?â€
- >>“About three days.â€
- >>BonBon gasps, looks down at you
- >>You smile innocently up at her
- >>Her face contorts into a further expression of rage than it was before
- >>“You! You... PERVERT!â€
- >>Wait
- >>What?
- >>WHACK
- >>In an instant, she clocks you in the face hard enough to black you out
- >>You can just never catch a break
- End
- >>It was twenty four hours since the incident at the library
- >>Your head was bandaged
- >>And you had a white pad bound down to your eye
- >>For being the toughest guy in Ponyville, you sure do tend to get your shit rocked
- >>A lot
- >>But that's just because you're a nice guy
- >>That's your excuse, and you're sticking to it
- >>You also had to take a lot of showers
- >>And spend a lot of time grooming yourself
- >>Fucking Lyra thought that human bodies didn't need to be cleaned because they didn't have fur coats
- >>The stench leaves you with a sense of paranoia, but you're convinced that six showers left you clean
- >>You find yourself at a Pinkie Party, hosted at Sugarcube Corner
- >>It's your first one, ever
- >>You aren't sure if you're comfortable
- >>But the music isn't too bad
- >>The food is okay
- >>The company is great
- >>You're so glad to have your friends back
- >>Even if you are outrageously mad
- >>Except at Pinkie Pie
- >>Pinkie had your back
- >>That seemed so surreal, still
- >>She is everything you hate
- >>She bounces off the goddamn walls, can't respect personal bubbles
- >>But she has good intentions
- >>And you don't suppose you can find fault in that
- >>Everypony in Ponyville was either in the shop or outside, continuing the party in the surrounding locale
- >>Officially, the party was to celebrate the presence of Celestia
- >>Unofficially, well... you were given a seat right next to her
- >>And so, while the party raged, you leaned back
- >>Lifted a cup of punch to your lips
- >>And threw your free arm over the back of the chair
- >>Douche mode, activated
- >>Pinkie Pie bounds up to you and eyes you curiously
- >>Her neck stretches out to your height
- >>She is now a giraffe. Nice
- >>It's too early for this shit
- >>“YOU? At a Pinkie Party?â€
- >>She asks
- >>“...Are you sure you're Anon?â€
- Pinkie...
- >>“I'm just kidding, silly-filly!â€
- I'm not silly.
- >>“I'm just glad your back! Because the other anon didn't clean dishes very good...â€
- And I'm still pretty sure I'm older than you
- >>“And she couldn't stop rubbing her hands over everything!â€
- The fact that I hang out with you all is still really creepy
- >>“It was really creepy!â€
- >>She stopped and looked at you when you both said the same word at the same time
- >>You've long since learned that trying to stop Pinkie was futile
- >>Best to just keep talking, wait until she loses her train of thought, and focuses on you
- >>Celestia was listening to the whole thing and gave a soft giggle
- >>“Pinkie Pie, can I get a few minutes with Anonymous?â€
- >>Pinkie smiled wide
- >>“Sure!â€
- >>She bounced off and mingled with the rest of the party
- >>You raise your glass and extend your index finger from it, pointing to Pinkie
- If you could just harness her as an energy source...
- >>Celestia chuckled
- >>“So, this was quite the adventure for you!â€
- >>You retracted your finger and took a drink from your glass before looking to Celestia
- Keeps things exciting.
- >>“I have a question for you, Anonymous.â€
- >>Celestia's voice was warm and comforting, and the way she used everyone's full name helped carry her as royalty
- Oh, yeah?
- >>You asked, allowing your eyes to drift closed
- >>“Mmhmm~â€
- >>“Why didn't you just have Twilight remove the comprehension spell?â€
- >>You took another drink from your punch
- >>You stop half way, and your good eye pops open
- >>The instant Twilight would have removed the comprehension spell, and they would have still understood Lyranon, they would have known something was up
- >>You stare blankly into nothing
- >>This whole thing... could have been easily bypassed
- >>Celestia chortles, seeing your reaction
- >>You lower the punch from your lips and glare at her through a half lidded eye
- Alright, then. I have one for you.
- >>“Hmmm?â€
- >>You raise your glass and extend an index finger, pointing to her
- What did you ever do with Lyra?
- >>Celestia levitates a cup of tea to her lips and daintily takes a sip from it before she answers her
- >>“I think she's learned her lessonâ€
- >>She nudges her head over into the crowd
- >>You track where she indicated, and you find a blushing Lyra and a blushing BonBon holding hooves, rubbing their snouts together
- >>It would be adorable, if they weren't disgusting animals
- >>But you hold your tongue on that one
- You are a very forgiving individual, Princess. Speaking of, how are you feeling?
- >>“Hmm?â€
- You got clipped pretty good, back there.
- >>It was just a left, your left hits about as hard as a wad of paper
- >>You imagine that she's fine
- >>She turns to face you
- >>“Oh, this? I'll be fine.â€
- >>You look over and nearly spit out your drink
- >>She wore a cloth patch over one of her eyes as well
- HehehehAHAHA!
- >>You can't help yourself, giving a low, controlled cackle from the depths of your chest
- >>Rather than become upset, she gives a mild chuckle along with you
- >>“I guess I had this one comingâ€
- >>You calm yourself
- Nah, don't say that. You're awesome.
- >>She tilts her head upwards and smiles
- >>“Thank you!â€
- >>“And now comes my next question.â€
- >>You hold your drink and give her your attention
- >>“What did you learn from all this?â€
- >>You think on it a moment, taking a sip of your drink
- How about... perseverance is a virtue?
- >>She lowers her head a few degrees
- >>“That's a good life lesson, not a friendship lesson.â€
- Okay. Hm.
- >>You take another moment
- Violence isn't always the answer. The quill is mightier than the sword.
- >>Celestia shook her head
- >>Shit, you thought you had it, that time
- ...That I need better friends?
- >>She frowned at you, her brow curling
- >>She didn't appreciate your sarcasm
- >>You withdrew and forced the biggest apologetic smile at her that you could
- >>“You're lucky that you're cute.â€
- >>You relaxed
- >>Looked off into the crowd
- >>Took a sip of your drink
- Wait, what?
- Wha..do what?
- >>Celestia stands up from her seat
- >>“Well, would you look at the time! I have business I need to get to in Canterlot.â€
- >>You glare at her
- >>“Fare well, Anonymous. We will meet again.â€
- >>The equine goddess sauntered out of the building, meeting with her student at her chariot out front
- >>You are left wondering what the fuck just happened.
- End
- (The following portion was written by Faggotry_Inc_LLC, but later referenced as canon by Shermanator. Taken from http://pastebin.com/CMFVq49L.)
- In one of the threads (...) I wondered if someone was going to point out to Anon how dumb he was for not noticing how easily his problem could have been solved. It turned out to be Trollestia, who became frustrated at his subsequent inability to figure out what friendship lesson he learned. That night, a ghostly spirit appeared...
- >"SHERMANON!!"
- "Zzz... snrk, w-ha, wha?"
- >ShermAnon opens his eyes to discover a black-robed apparition standing at the foot of the bed. Its face is a void within its ragged cowl, its body is bedecked in chains and on the top of its head it sports a glowing white dunce cap.
- >"I am the Ghost of-
- "AAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
- >ShermAnon jumps two feet up and three backwards, slamming into the bed's headboard hard enough to rattle the frame
- >The apparition sighs and shakes its head. "Ok, that entrance might have been a bit much. Relax Braveheart, you're dreaming. There's no danger."
- >ShermAnon is now perched on top of the headboard and hiding under a blanket.
- *muffled* "Then why did I have to open my eyes to see you?"
- >Have you ever had one of those dreams where you got up, got ready for work and then woke up again when you reached the door?"
- "Yeah."
- >"This is like that, only educational."
- "Oh."
- >ShermAnon climbs down from the headboard and sits crosslegged, maneuvering the blanket around to hide the spot of pee on his pajamas
- "How is scaring the crap out of me supposed to be educational?"
- >"That was inadvertent. If you'll let me rewind back to my introduction all will become clear."
- "Go for it."
- >The apparition clears its throat
- >"I am the Ghost of Retardation Past. I have been sent here to help you understand your folly, and through understanding, overcome it."
- "What folly is that?"
- >"You, ShermAnon, are dumb."
- "I am?"
- >"Yes. Your dumbness, while entertaining for the readers, leads to unnecessary strife for your friends and others around you. If you learn to use your head for something other than a hoof target, life will become much easier for you and they."
- "Wait, you didn't guess that dropping a Nazgûl in my bedroom at 2AM would scare me and _you're_ going to teach me how not to be dumb?"
- >"You know I could just keep coming back every night if you like."
- "I didn't-"
- >"Maybe next time I'll be on fire."
- "All right, all right! I'll go through the lesson."
- >"Excellent. Think back to your latest adventure, ShermAnon, when Lyra stole your form and tried to flee to Earth."
- "Doing so."
- >"Do you remember what Celestia told you at the end?"
- "That I could have stopped Lyra's plan at Twilight's by having her remove the translation spell? Yeah, Her Trollness loves telling me things like that after they're useful."
- >"You were dumb then, too. You should have asked Celestia why Twilight would comply with Loony Lyra's request to undo the spell without asking for a reason. What reason could you have given that she'd have accepted?"
- "I would have told her that Lyra stole my body and that undoing the spell would prove it."
- >The apparition cocks its head to one side and produces a remarkable imitation of Twilight Sparkle's voice
- >"Uggghh, I don't have time for your nonsense, Lyra. This is royal business. Get out."
- >The apparition's voice returns to normal and continues. "A purple glow surrounds you and you find yourself plunked outside the library. You have been eaten by a grue."
- "I get it. It wouldn't have worked."
- >"No, it would have worked if you had approached the problem in a way that wasn't dumb."
- >The spectre cocks its head to the opposite side and a perfect copy of Lyra's voice fills the room
- >"Twilight, look carefully at Anon."
- >head cocks the other way
- >"Why, Lyra?"
- >Head reverses again
- >"What happened to his translation spell?"
- "...Shit, why didn't I think of that?"
- >"Because you are dumb, hence my presence. When Celestia revealed that you missed an obvious solution, the way she phrased it left it open to logical challenge. You failed to detect that opening but it was there, and deliberately. Why?"
- "How should I know?"
- >"Try to figure it out."
- >ShermAnon shuts his eyes and screws his features into an expression of intense concentration.
- >Minutes pass before he relaxes his face and his eyes pop open.
- "I've got nothing."
- >"Precisely. You are the first creature that Princess Celestia has encountered who is too dumb to teach via trolling. She has passed the duty of your education on to me, the G.o.R.P.
- "Heh, 'the Gorp'."
- >It is an acronym. It is not pronounced as a word."
- "'gorp', hee hee hee..."
- >"My title is pronounced 'gee oh arr pee.' Now let us please continue."
- "'The Gorpster', lolz"
- >"ENOUGH!!"
- >The spirit's arms fling wide as lightning cracks across the sky and the room shakes with thunder
- >ShermAnon is back up on the headboard and completely encased in blanket except for two staring eyes
- >"I'm... sorry about that. I've had a long day. Please, let us continue."
- >the eyes blink, but nothing else budges
- >"Come now, where is the bravery of the Anon who faced down Discord?
- "He was awake."
- >"It won't happen again, I promise."
- "Pinkie promise."
- >"What?
- "Pinkie promise."
- >"For Celestia's sake... fine, I Pinkie promise that I will not frighten you again. Can we get this over with? I have other appointments."
- >ShermAnon drops back down to the mattress but keeps the blanket close
- >"Better. The only effective correctional method for people who are too dumb to be taught via trolling is Sensitization Therapy. One hour each day you must find someone who is smarter than you are and have them watch you."
- >"Every time you do something dumb they must tell you and explain why it is dumb. The idea is that over time your brain will learn to recognize the hallmarks of dumb actions and produce a dull ache when you are about to engage in one. In people of normal intelligence this sensation is called 'thought.'"
- "Sounds legit. Who should I get to help me?"
- >The spectre shuffles and scratches behind its neck "Oh, just about anyone, really..."
- "Handy! I'll try it out tomorrow. Wait, aren't you supposed to lead me through a dream sequence or something?"
- >"I suppose I could, but it's not really necessary for the therapy."
- "In that case I'm going back to sleep."
- "Oh, and Fluttershy?"
- >The apparition stiffens
- "Being taught Dickensian lessons is not my fetish."
- >With a startled "Eep!" the black robes collapse and a bolt of pink and yellow shoots out the window at top speed
- >Fucking Fluttershy...
- (End of Faggotry_Inc_LLC's contribution.)
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