Normal Norman - Octavia & Vinnyl

>Be Renate Pfeiffer, German exchange student

>I rarely get called that though

>Due to my talent with the cello, the music professor gave me the nickname "Octavia" and it just stuck with everyone else

>Don't really care about what the "in crowd", or whatever they're calling themselves, do

>I'm in another country, studying in a different continent, and making my family proud by playing in both formal events and sponsored concerts

>Don't know about you, but that's good enough for me

>However, I can't seem to get Alvina, some electronica-obsessed girl, off my back

>Apparently, her parents forced her to go to one of my concerts in an attempt to get her off that horrendous music, and she recognized me from school

>Now she won't leave me alone and constantly tries to get me to listen to what she calls "Vinny's Epic Wubs", whatever the hölle that's supposed to mean

>I refuse to call her that as well

>Alvina is a beautiful name, rich in history and culture, both in literature and song

>Vinny sounds like some sort of Italian mobster

>Stupid, idiotic, uncultured, incompetent Italians...

>Anyhow, I seem to be able to avoid her easily enough between classes by wearing a green wig

>No such luck after school

 

>I recently heard from her that there was a new student attending the school

>Some guy named Norman, and apparently he was a Neo-Nazi!

>Truth be told, part of me wants to strangle him, but another part of me pities him

>After all, apparently his parents set him up for failure by giving him that name in the first place

>Norman, as in old deutsche for northerner? Referring to Prussians and Scandinavians?

>Ugly, stupid, barbaric, irredeemable Scandinavians...

>That was like calling one's son Bennito!

>However, some purple girl can't seem to stay away from him

>According to Alvina, she claims to be a princess from some horse world

>Typical slavic, starting the day with a bottle

 

>Friday night

>Somehow, Vinny "convinced" me to go with her to some club she works in during weekends

>The way she "convinced" me reminded me of stories my grandfather used to tell me of his time in the Deutsche Demokratische Republik

>"Remind me vhat I'm doing here." - I asked her coldly.

>"Oh come on, don't be like that! Since apparently no shop can fix your computer and you don't have a cellphone or a tablet, I might as well show you my album by playing it live!"

>Note to self: Reread grandfather's journal in order to come up with better lies

>"Well, I've got to get to work now. Go on and have fun, I'll catch you later!"

>Before I could answer back, she was gone

>Perfect. There was a reason I brought my green wig

>Putting it on, I made my way to the front door. No one would recognize me as long as I had it on

>Few people coming in and out, I'd be able to slip out unnoticed

>Almost at the door

>"Hey, it's Octy!"

>Octy...

>No way...

>There's no way that imbec-

>"It's you, isn't it? Yes it is! Wow, didn't think you liked going to clubs!" - I heard as I felt my wrist being grabbed just before being turned around to face...

>Brad

 

>How this Irish-descended neanderthal recognized me with my wig, I don't even know

>"Hallo Brad. It was gut seeing you. If you'll excuze me, I've got to go." - I said, trying to turn around and just leave

>"Wait! Come on, me and some friends managed to get a table!" - he replied as he pulled me towards said table

>To be honest, I fully expected the table to be occupied by the testosterone-filled anglo-saxons and zulus of the football team

>I'd never expected the neo-nazi guy and the slavic girl

>Correction, just the new guy. The girl fit perfectly here

>"So as I was saying, Ted passes the ball to me so I start running over to their..."

>Brad just continued talking and talking...

>The looks on both... er.... oh, right, Norman, and the purple slav, told their thoughts quite clearly

>The purple girl looked genuinely interested in Brad's explanation of a sport as barbaric as the original English-invented game it was based on

>Norman, on the other hand, looked ready to jump off a cliff

>With nothing better to do, I decided to talk to him

>"You do know people from many colorz and breedz go to clubz, right? So vhy are you here?" - I asked casually to someone so filled with hate

>"... wait, are you calling me a racist?" - he asked, apparently insulted by my question. Typical

>"No, I'm juzt vondering vhy you decided to come here."

>"Well, I had to get my mind off school, and Brad invited Purple to come here, and she invited me, so I thought what the hell, might give it a chance."

>He seriously calls the only person who talks to him Purple...

>"By the way, what's with the wig? I know your hair ain't green." - It was a fair question, to be honest

>"To hide. I play in high-clazz eventz. Have had my own concertz. I'm ze best cellist in the ze school, and is the reason I'm in zis country in ze first place. I can't be seen here."

>"Ah..." - he answered emptily. "Well, don't worry. I won't tell anyone about you partying or anything."

>"Danke, I suppose..."

 

>Be Vinny

>It's time to start the show

>"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" - I yelled into the microphone

>"PARTY" - yelled back the club

>"GOOD! BECAUSE DJ-HU3M4N IS IN DA HAUS!"

>And here we go. With skillful movement of dials and buttons, I began doing my thing.

>Lets see what Ms. Fancy thinks about this now

 

>Be Renate

>OhdearGodwhatinthefuckisthatnoise!

>The crowd is definitely going crazy, and what had been people dancing earlier has now turned into a riot

>"AWRIGHT, COME ON TWILY! LETS DANCE!" - yelled Brad, pulling the purple slavic girl to the dance floor

>However, she apparently didn't see it fit to leave her friend behind, and grabbed his hand, dragging him along

>"Vell, you enjoy your night. I've got to gAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - I couldn't help but yell as my arm got grabbed again, getting pulled into a human chain heading into the last place I ever wanted to be in

>The Dance Floor

>Minutes passed, feeling like hours, the sheer human ocean keeping me trapped there while being bombarded with what could only be described as a computer's sound card having a seizure

>"COME ON OCTY, DANCE!" - yelled out Brad despite him being right next to me

>Then again, with this noise, yelling was the only way to communicate

>What happened next caught me by surprise, as Norman grabbed my hand

>"COME ON, LETS DANCE!" - he said as he tried to lead a dance with me

>Or rather, it looked like dancing. Then again, compared to the random spazzing of everyone there, a drugged monkey would look like an expert dancer

>"OK, JUST DO AS I DO!" - he said, moving from side to side, making hand and arm gestures, and so on

>I'm just glad he didn't ask me to flail my arms

 

>As much as I hate to admit it, and as horrific as the noise was, this was rather fun

>This went on for a few more minutes before the "rythm" of the... -can't actually call it a song, but rather- noise slowed down

>"Oh! Hold on, let me try something!"

>"Try something? Vhat do you mea- WOAH, HEY!"

>"Relax. I saw this in a movie." - he said as he began spinning while holding unto me

>For a moment there, I thought he was trying to do some salsa, which kind of eased my mind

>That turned into horror when the idiot let go

>I would later learn that what he was trying to do was some sort of disco move, and the movie he was referring to was "Airplane"

>When I regained my composture, I looked around to try and get my bearings

>I found myself next to one of the gigantic speakers

>At the slowest point of the song

>OHSWEETMOTHEROFGO-

>WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUB WUBWUB-WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUBWUBWUB WUB WUB-WUB-WUB

 

>Be Vinny

>Music, lights, dancing, booze, party

>Being a DJ, even if only part-time and during weekends, is the best damn job ever

>Got to wonder though, where is Tavi?

>Haven't seen her all night since I left her down there

>Eh, must be having fun. Can't really blame her, what with my PHAT BEATS playing!

 

>Be Renate

>Oh sweet mother of God, somebody please make it stop

>Getting spun around for a few seconds, followed by being thrown, left me in an unbalanced, dizzy state

>On itself, that wasn't as bad as it could have been

>The 110 decibels suddenly being blasted out right next to me, however, did manage to knock me down on my face

>"Holy crap, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?!" - he said as he made his way towards me through the crowd

>Not that I could hear him, mind you, what with noise being blasted almost directly into my skull

>"I'm so sorry about that! I could have sworn it was going to work!" - he apologized pathetically

>A part of me told me to just slap him across the face and leave the place already

>However, the lady within me, however, told me to accept his apology and give him another chance to make up for his mistakes

>"Hey, are you two alright?" - came asking the purple girl. I need to make a note to actually learn her name

>"Ja, ja, I'm fine. Don't vorry you two. Just a bit dizzy." - I answered. Truth be told, my head was killing me after that

>However, there seemed to be someone missing - "Where's Brad?" - asked Norman

>"Oh, he went to get some drinks. Said he wanted something called vodka, and that he'd get me some too. How nice of him!"

>An irish and a slavic drinking together... there is something magical about that

>Never change, purple girl. You make your forefathers proud. Perhaps some day you'll be a cosmonaut or a great engineer

 

>"Vell, I think I'll be leaving now. You two enjoy ze party." - I said, starting to walk away from there. It was about time I left

>"Wait. I know that ended pretty badly, but let me make it up to you! Do you want a drink or something too?" - offered Norman

>To be honest, a drink would be very welcome

>Thus I decided to listen to my inner lady and give him another chance

>I now realize ladies are utterly moronic

>"Eh, fine. A drink would be good about now." - I replied, and so the three of us went to where Brad was getting the drinks

>"Twily! Over here! I got an umbrella for yours!"

>I immediately regretted it

>"With Brad's ID, we're good to go. So, what do you want? A tequila, a martini, a... uh... a whiskey?" - said Norman, obviously straining to think of alocholic drinks

>Well, atleast that told me he wasn't an alcoholic, so he had that going for him

>"I'll just have a vhite russian." - I answered nonchalantly, to which he gave me a confused look, followed by nervously looking around

>"Er... are you hitting on me?"

>My left eyebrow couldn't have been raised more even if the people at the dance floor fully raised the roof

>I don't know what that sudden bulge in his pockets was, but as soon as a noodle popped out, I decided I didn't want to know

 

>"... nein. It's a drink." - I coldly replied. He seemed to get the message, as he immediately left to get it

>So far, this had been a terrible night, but atleast I had a moment to breathe now, even if it was muddled by the noise and both Brad and the purple girl practically yelling next to me just to talk

>A while later, Norman returned with our drinks

>"Sorry I took so long. Apparently there's only one bartender, and like fifty people there."

>"No vorries. Atleast I could re-" - I wasn't able to finish that sentence before the purple girl jumped unto Norman, hanging from his neck

>"'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Normy, ah've got an ibea. Whai don't ai show Octy sum majic?"

>What. How could she be drunk already?! That was ONE glass! I can't help but, somehow, feel disappointed

>"Er... I'm zorry, but I don't lean zat vay." - I answered back

>"Purple, get off me!" - yelled Norman, trying to shake her off

>And spilling my drink all over me

>"GAAAAAAH! HURENSOHN!" - I yelled out as I jumped off my chair, inadvertedly drawing attention in our direction

>"OHSHITI'MSOSORRYHERELETMEHELPYOU!" - exclaimed Norman, rapidly moving in my direction while still having the purple girl hanging from him

>This was going to end badly

>The table agreed, as it moved slightly between Norman and I as Brad got up, causing Norman to trip

>Next thing I know, I'm on the floor with a drunk slavic girl on top of me, Norman having been able to hold on to a chair

>"GET OFF ME!" - I yelled out in sheer frustration, anger having fully taken over

>"But yu're so sooooooofvt." slurred out the purple girl as I tried to push her off

>Brad and Norman then came over and pulled her off me

>However, as they were about to pull me up, I noticed something

>Something terrible

>A part of my skirt had slipped under one of the table's legs during the fall, and was now jammed

>"VAIT, STOP!"

>*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*

 

>Excluding the noise in the background, there was silence

>As I got up by myself, lower undergarments fully exposed, there was complete silence

>After all, what was there to say that my glare wasn't saying already?

>"'ey Normy, dat looks laik da ones those worn in yer anatomy collection, hehehehe."

>At that point, I should have exploded

>Probably should have broken a bottle over Norman's head

>However, my anger was such, it went full circle and ended up in calmness

>In such a state, I could do nothing but just walk up to him

>"Norman, I just vant to say, this has been the vorst night I've ever had in mein life."

>"Yeah, I can understand that..." - he replied, great shame and terror present in his voice

>"Now, I think you should leave and take your friend home. And never speak to me again." -I then tugged out my ripped skirt from under the table's leg and walked away

>With a deep sigh, I headed to the bathroom to see what I could do to fix this, stopped when someone called for me again

>"Hey Tavi! Wait up! I just finished with my shift andWOAH GIRL! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" - asked Alvina, stopping within a meter of me

>"I'd rather not talk about it." - I replied as I continued to the bathroom

>"Damn! You like to party hard, dontcha?!" - she mocked before a thought occurred to me

>"Vait, how'd you recognize me?!"

>"What do you mean? I just saw you and ran towards you." - she answered as I frantically touched my head

>"Oh no..." - I whispered, before it escalated into a continuous stream of "NEIN-NEIN-NEIN-"

>I quickly rushed into the bathroom, looking at myself in the nearest mirror, confirming my worst fears

>"ZAT DAMNED ITALIAN!"

--------------------------

>Be Norman

>Octavia was right, I had to get Purple home before she got her drunk ass into trouble

>Now if only she'd stop poking me

>"What is it?" - I said, turning to look at her

>"'ey Norman, gess who I am!" - she said, putting on a strangely-familiar green wig

>Oh shit

 

And that's it for this story.