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Animal-love Anon

By: NoelGallagher on Apr 2nd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 7.77 KB  |  hits: 58  |  expires: Never
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  1. TWILIGHT, ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?!
  2. >You scream, the noise coming from Twilight´s horn forces you to raise your voice
  3. >They say the first time is scary
  4. >You know, collateral effects and that shit
  5. >But it´s Twilight, come on.
  6. >Who´s better with her when it comes to spell testing?
  7. >There  is nothing to be scared of
  8. >TS:"I HAVE NO IDEA ANON!"
  9. >Ok there is a lot to be scared of now
  10. TWILIGHT COME ON, FOCUS! IT´S NOT A NICE TIME TO GO AROUND JOKING!
  11. >TS:"I´AM AFRAID THAT THIS IS NO JOKE ANON! YOU ASKED TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH ANIMALS LIKE FLUTTERSHY BUT THIS IS NOT AN EASY SPELL, SO STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, DON´T MOVE AND EVERYP0NY HAPPY!"
  12. I DON´T LIKE THAT BECAUSE I´AM NOT INCLUDED IN "EVERYP0NY"!
  13. >You always admired Fluttershy because she is able to talk with animals
  14. >Well, It´s the only thing you admire from her
  15. >Being a yellow-rapist and all
  16. >But she understands the animals like if they were part of the community, or other ponies.
  17. >So you asked Twilight if she could throw you a spell that lets you communicate with animals
  18. >TS:"OK ANON THE SPELL IS READY, HERE IT GOES!"
  19. >A bright flash appears and then a las0r hits you
  20. >Instant KO
  21.  
  22. >*The next day*
  23. NOT IN MY ANUS!
  24. >You shh yourself by pressing your hands on your mouth
  25. >Looking around you find yourself in your house, more specifically in your bed
  26. Jeez what the hell happened... all I remember is a bright flash and... Kabooom!
  27. >Well, lets just do the morning routine
  28. >Take a dump, bathe and dress up
  29. >No need to shave, since you arrived here your beard stopped growing for some reason
  30. >Maybe magic, it´s always fucking magic here.
  31. >However there is no need to complain about it, the stubble left on you looks really great
  32. >Go downstairs and eat some Magick´Os
  33. >That cereal is magic! It has sparkles that dance in your mouth and shit
  34. >No, literally, they have shit on the cereal
  35. >It tastes like Chocolate, so you don´t complain.
  36. >?:"Seriously, I´ve seen this thing living here, I haven´t noticed it before but by the holy Feather Light he is really hot!"
  37. >Who the hell is that?
  38. >¿:"Really? Let me see..."
  39. >You hear a noice coming from your window
  40. >That`s it, this mare interrupts your breakfast and now what, throws things at you house?
  41. >You are gonna teach this whorse a lesson
  42. >You rush to your window with the rage of ten Crit-shots
  43. OK YOU TWO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU AR-
  44. >There is nobody (or nop0ny?) near your window
  45. What the hell was that crap?
  46. >¿:"Oh...my...now that`s a nice piece of ass he has there!"
  47. >There it goes again, who or what is talking? All you can see are a pair of birds near your...
  48. >...
  49. >...
  50. >You look at the birds
  51. Eeerhh... Hello?
  52. >Bird-1:"Hey there handsome! Mind showing me that nice tail of yours?"
  53. >Bird-2:"Yeah flap those cheeks for us!"
  54. >What the fuck
  55. kcuf eht tahW...
  56. >Did those birds just...talk?
  57. >Well, talking is one way to put it, they were flirting with you in an aggresive way
  58. >You slowly back away
  59. >Bird-1:"Oh come on sugar! Come fly with me!
  60. How could this happen? Am I becoming insane or what? [spoiler] [/spoiler]>You mutter to yourself
  61. Twilight must know what`s happening to me...
  62. >Go back upstairs and get dressed, only to hear the usual knock at the door
  63. As If I haven`t enough weird shit to deal with today...
  64. >Go downstairs and open the door
  65. >Ohai Rarity!
  66. Yes Fluttershy?
  67. >Haha tricked ya, actually it`s Fluttershy, here for the daily fetish guessing
  68. >F:"O-oh..ummm...Hello Anon is it a bad time or-"
  69. It`s always a bad time when you come around asking about my fetish, but hey, at least you can help me now
  70. >Her face lights up
  71. >F:"R-really? How?"
  72. I think I`am becoming insane, a pair of birds were flirting with me and I could understand them
  73. >F:"Oh my! You understand animals too? T-thats great Anon! Maybe now we can share our love for the animals also in bed and-"
  74. Fluttershy shut up, I don`t love you. I`am asking for help, let`s go see Twilight, she casted the spell after all.
  75. >You head to Twilight`s home in company of Flutter-rapist
  76. >During the trip you had to slap her hoof multiple times because she tryed to reach for your crotch
  77. >Once you reached Twilight, you knock on the door and Purplebull opens
  78. >TS:"EH!? Wha...? Oh Anon, is that you?"
  79. Yeah are you on salts or what? You are not gonna cannibalize me righ?
  80. >TS:"Nah but I sure could eat you"
  81. >She winks at you and Fluttershy gives her a shit-eating grin
  82. Twilight stop with the jokes already and listen to me. Some birds just talked, or better said, flirted with me. Can you tell me what the hell is going on?
  83. >TS:"Oh so the spell worked!"
  84. It looks like it did, but do birds flirt with people or ponies who understand them?
  85. >F:"What spell? What are you talking about Anon?"
  86. I asked Twilight to cast a spell on me that would let me talk with animals just like you do
  87. >TS:"Well, there is only one way to check if the spell, come on inside both of you"
  88. >She takes you both into the basement where she draws two circles
  89. >TS:"Okay Anon, stand in one of the circles, Fluttershy go to the other one. As Fluttershy is already able to communicate with the animals she has a special aura around her so if I can examine Anon while looking at Fluttershy`s aura then we`ll know if the spell was succesful or not"
  90. Okay but don`t you dare to play any of your horny games on me you dirty mare
  91. >TS:"I can`t promise anything"
  92. >F:"Em...Twilight, are you sure we have to do this?"
  93. Fluttershy, would you kindly move your ass into the freaking point?
  94. >She stands on it and Twilight`s horn starts to shine
  95. >After a few moments it stops and she speaks
  96. >TS:"Amm... Anon?"
  97. Yes Twilight what is it?
  98. >She giggles a little
  99. >TS:"I have good news and bad news"
  100. Good one first
  101. >TS:"Well the good one is that the spell worked, so you can understand animals and they can understand you"
  102. Cool, so what`s the bad one?
  103. >TS:"Erm... I may have mixed a little of lust with my spell when I casted it, because of you of course, and now the animals also want to eh...rut you"
  104. Oh well if there is nothing that can be don-YOU WHAAAT!?
  105. >TS:"I did what I could"
  106. I knew I couldn`t trust in a lust-filled mare like you! As if it wasn`t enough that half of Ponyville already wanted a piece of me now the critters also want to fuck me!?
  107. >Suddenly you hear a door being ripped open
  108. >Bird-1:"There he is! I told you that Hot Monkey [spoiler]Ass[/spoiler] was heading here!"
  109. >There is a whole Zoo of lusty animals staring at you, their faces demanding >rape
  110. Angel! You too you little dip-ship!?
  111. >The little bunny forms a O and the tears it down with his other hand
  112. Haysus Stable...
  113. >You make a run for it, even if they were a lot they couldn`t handle your force when escaping
  114. >Dashing to your home, you lock youself inside and close the windows
  115. Now...Twilight said before her spells lasted for about a day, so If I can stay inside for just this night then I`ll be safe
  116. >There is a head-pounding screech and one of your windows shatters
  117. WHAT THE... GILDA?!
  118. >G:"Hey there monkey, looks like I found you first"
  119. Oh fuck...
  120. >G:"Don`t worry monkey, I`am not like them, now...come with me before they-"
  121. >Your door is kicked down by Mr.Bear, who used his big hard-ok as battering ram
  122. >MB:"Cooome here Anon *roaaar* paint me white with your cum and call me dirty Panda!"
  123. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE
  124. >You choose salvation instead of >rape
  125. >Gilda grabs you with her talons and you both fly away
  126. WOHOHOOO
  127. >After a flight of 10 minutes you land on a big cloud
  128. >You didn`t know you could walk on them, must be this magic shit stuff
  129. Thanks for the ride, partner! You saved me back there!
  130. >G:"That I did, so I deserve a reward, right monkey?"
  131. >She winks at you and gets closer
  132. What are you...
  133. >G:"COME...FELICITATE ME!"
  134. >She tackles you and you grab her neck
  135. >G:"NO! THE FEATHERS... USE THE FEATHERS!"
  136. >And so you ended up
  137. >Fucking Gilda
  138. [spoiler]Not that you mind it[/spoiler]