Internet Anon shorts

Author's note: There's only one short in here so far, but I have enough ideas that I can add more, as I write them. So I'm giving this "continuity" its own paste.

 

"Molestia thread"

>Day blah blah in Equestria

>Browsing the human internet

>Technology and magic combined is amazing

>You're staying at the Canterlot Palace for the night again, at Celestia's request

>You decide to troll /mlp/ a bit with your situation

>Tell them all about how your room is right next to Celestia and Luna's

>Get the usual "OP is a fag"/"cool story bro" responses

>Some people believe you, though

>One anon tells you to watch your ass and make sure Molestia doesn't rape you

>You break out into uncontrollable laughter

>Celestia would never do something like that, it's completely absurd

>The rest of the thread starts to devolve into a standard Molestia/Celestia porn thread

>Normally, you wouldn't have cared, but actually knowing Celestia just made it weird

>Close tab

>There's a knock at your door

>Celestia strolls in

>"Good evening, Anonymous. I heard you laughing... might I ask, what's so funny?"

"It wasn't anything important, Princess. Just something on the internet."

>"Oh? Care to show me? I like a good joke."

>Shit

"Uh, I just closed the tab, and besides, I really don't think that's a good-"

>She magics over some cushions and sits down on them

>"Nonsense! From the way you were laughing, it must be rather funny. Show me, Anonymous!"

>Oh god she's smiling why is she doing that

"N-no, really, I don't think you'd li-"

>"Ah, here's that button I was looking for. Let's see these human jokes!"

>She found the fucking undo close tab button

"No! Don't-"

>She's already reading the thread

 

>You look on in horror, eyes darting between posts and her face

>She smiles when a few anons call her "best pony"

>She frowns at those who don't believe you

>And then she sees the "Molestia" post

>Her frown turns to confusion

>She scrolls further, reaching the porn dump

>Her cheeks flush red

>"Oh my."

>She's reading all the perverted fantasies about her and taking in all the porn

>Eventually, she finishes the thread and lets out a sigh

>"Well, that wasn't very funny. There were certainly a lot of... pictures. Of me. Doing... things."

"Yeah, that thread kind of went to shit when they started posting rule 34. I guess some of them have a pretty... sizable collection."

>"Rule 34?"

>You facepalm

"Uh- porn. Rule 34 is porn."

>"So how big is your collection then, Anonymous?"

>Warning sirens blare through your head

"Well uh- you see- I- I don't- that is to say- um."

>She pouts

>"Never mind, I'm sure it won't be too hard to find on this device of yours."

>Her horn glows

>What is she-

>Folders begin opening and closing rapidly

>She's fucking magically searching your computer for your porn folder

>You yelp

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?! Stop!"

>You reach out toward the computer

>"Nope!"

>She pushes you away with a wing to the face

>You reach out again

"Celestia, you really should stop-"

>You get shoved back by a wing again

>"Ooh, using my name instead of my title! What's the matter, Anonymous? Surely there's nothing to be ashamed of. Unless..."

>She gasps and turns to look at you

>"You have pictures of me, don't you?"

 

"What?! N-No! No, I don't!"

>"How naughty of you, Anonymous! I simply must see this for myself."

"Celestia, please, just sto- oh god"

>You put your head in your hands

>She found something, alright

>It's not porn, thankfully, but she found your pony folder

>It's pretty sizable, but there's one pony you've clearly saved more images of than any other

>Celestia turns her head to face you, eyebrow raised

>"This is an awful lot of pictures of my sister, Anonymous."

"This isn't happening."

>A grin spreads across her face

>"You like my sister, don't you, Anonymous? Aww, how cute! My little sister has an admirer!"

"I fell asleep after laughing at that Molestia post and this is a dream."

>She nips at your arm

"Ow! Hey!"

>"You're not dreaming, Anonymous."

"Okay! Fine! Yeah, she was my favorite before I came here, are you happy?"

>Her grin widens, and you could swear you saw her eyes sparkling

>"Your favorite, even! Oh, this just gets better! You know..."

>She raises a hoof to her chin in thought

>"Seeing as how you like her so much, I could set you two up on a date! You two will make such a cute couple!"

"What? Celestia, you really don't have to-"

>She practically gallops off to the door, giggling

>"I've got some planning to do! See you later, Anonymous!"

>She's already gone

"What the fuck just happened?"

>The empty room gives you no response