Day X in Equestria/Fetish-shy shorts (July 7 update)

Author's note: Updates to this paste get added to the bottom because I am lazy. Sorry!

Last updated July 7th.

 

"Fashion Models"

 

>Day 393 in Equestria

>You're rudely awakened by a pounding on your door

>You answer it

>Fluttershy, as usual

>This time, she's set up a fucking model runway

>She tries to do her best runway strut

>"Anon, are fashion models your fetish?"

>She poses at the end of the runway a few times and turns to strut back up it

"Yes, Fluttershy, fashion models are indeed my fetish."

>She stumbles and falls on her face

>She's in front of you in under a second

>Her smile is absolutely beaming

>"So does that mean you're going to-"

"No, Fluttershy. I'm afraid you're too late."

>Fluttershy's face falls

>A feminine yawn emanates from inside the house

>'Anon, why'd you leave me all alone in bed? I'm all cold now...'

>Fleur-de-Lis makes her way to the door, wearing one of your shirts

>'Oh, hello, um... ah...'

"Fluttershy, Fleur."

>'Oh yes! Hello, Fluttershy. You aren't bothering my Anon again, are you?'

>Fluttershy squeaks and mumbles out a "no, goodbye" before retreating at mach speed

>As soon as Fluttershy is out of sight, you let out your breath

"I can't believe she bought it. Thanks for the help, Fleur."

>You hold up a fist toward her

>'Anytime, Anonymous.'

>She taps it with her own hoof

>Brohoof exchange completed

"Why are you wearing one of my shirts, though?"

>'Mmm... it's comfy.'

"Hopefully she won't find out we lied. I'd like to be able to sleep in, for once."

>'Who says it has to be a lie?'

>Fleur smiles at you, then licks her lips

>You're not sure you like that look in her eye

>Ah, fuck it

>Today was a good day

 

 

"Pinkie Shy"

 

>Day 200 in Equestria

>Wake up

>Take a leak

>Go downstairs to make breakfast

>Open fridge

>Pinkie holds the carton of eggs out to you

>"Here's the eggs, Anon!"

"Thanks, Pinkie," you mumble.

>Close fridge

>Wait, Pinkie?

>Open fridge

>Nobody there

"Huh."

>Start cracking eggs into a pan on the stove

>Pinkie falls out of one, doing her best to act like egg yolk

>Stare at her, stone-faced

>She begins sweating

"Pinkie..."

>She says nothing

"Pinkie."

>Still no response

"PINKIE!"

>"Y-yeah, Anon?"

"Vore is not my fetish, Pinkie. Please get out of my eggs."

>"Darn it!"

>Pinkie vanishes as if she were never there in the first place

>You make cereal for breakfast, instead

 

 

"Chrysalis, pt. 1" AKA "Chryshylis"

 

>Day no longer matters in Equestria

>Get up

>Start to get breakfast

>Interrupted by knock at door like usual

>One of these days you'll learn to just go straight to the door instead of the kitchen

>Answer the door

>It's Fluttershy, again

>Something looks different, though

>Her eyes are a bright shade of green and they look a bit funny

>She just stares at you

>Looks like she's trying to figure out how to say something

>Suddenly, it hits you, and you realize why her eyes look so weird

"Chrysalis, transformation is not my fetish."

>'Fluttershy' flinches and her ears droop

>She reverts to her changeling form with a sigh

"What is even with you trying to guess my fetish, anyway?"

>"...I don't know. I had to at least try, Anonymous."

>She looks down at the ground, pawing the dirt

>"I'll just... go."

>She turns to leave

>You sigh

"Chrysalis, do you want to know what my fetish is?"

>Her ears perk up and she trots up to your door, an expectant look on her face

"Just promise you keep this secret from everyone, okay?"

>"Of course! On my honor as Queen!"

>You lean in closer

>Right next to her ears

>She's trembling in anticipation

>You whisper...

"Holes." [A/N: This was originally spoiler text.]

>The Queen of the Changelings blushes so hard she nearly faints

"See you tomorrow, Chrysalis."

>You shut the door and make breakfast

 

 

"Chrysalis, pt 2" AKA "This Way, Fluttershy"

 

>Another day in Equestria

>Get up

>Go downstairs

>Stand in front of the door

"Not interrupting breakfast this time."

>You wait five minutes before the knock comes

>You throw open the door, revealing Fluttershy

>She looks exhausted and sweaty

>This is new

>You stare at her, expectantly

>"Anon... I want... to... f-fuck you!"

>She's panting hard

>You raise an eyebrow

"And?"

>"A-and I... I H-HAVE... to... fuck you!

>She steps closer

>You cross your arms

"And it has to be me?"

>"Y-yes... i-it ha-... it HAS to be... you! It ca-... it can't be... anyp0ny else!"

>She's almost inside your house at this point

"Explain."

>She groans in frustration

>"I... need... YOU, Anon!"

"You need me? You... need me."

>You begin emitting a low keening noise

>"Wh-what?"

"You need me."

>Your neck stretches

>"A-Anon, what's...?"

"You need me."

>You grow five more heads

>"H-help! Anon!"

"You need me. You need me. You need me. You need me."

>Fluttershy runs from your house as fast as she can, screaming

>As soon as Fluttershy disappears over the horizon, you motion to your cohort to cancel the illusion

>Chrysalis does so, and your head returns to normal

"Thanks for the help."

>"Of course."

>You make breakfast for two

 

 

"Sleepwalking Sucks, Royally"

 

>Day [REDACTED] in Equestria

>Ever since you've arrived here, you've been waking up in strange places

>Apparently you developed a sleepwalking habit

>One time you woke up in Carousel Boutique's kitchen

>Another time, you woke up in the bathroom at Sugarcube Corner

>You even woke up in Zecora's hut, once

>So when you wake up today, you find yourself dreading the answer to your question

"Where the fuck am I this time?", you mutter aloud

>You refuse to open your eyes

>Maybe if you don't look, you'll just be back in your own bed

>A yawn sounds out beside you

>Well, you're definitely not in your bed, even though you feel bedsheets

>You slowly open your eyes

>You don't recognize this room

>You look to your left

>Princess Luna's sleeping face greets yours

>Wonderful, you woke up in bed with one of the Princesses

>Good job, asshole!

>But wait, that yawn came from the right...

>You look over to the right

>...And find yourself looking at Princess Celestia, who still isn't fully awake

"Oh fuck. Please let this just be a dream," you whisper to yourself

>She opens her eyes and stares right into yours

>You are so getting sent to the moon for this

>And then you realize you don't know where your pants are

>A pair of hooves grab you from behind and pull

>"We did not say thou could leave yet, Anon..o..m..zzzzzz"

>She's using you as a plus-sized teddy bear

>Princess Celestia smiles at you

>"Good morning, Anonymous," she whispers

>"Play nicely with my sister, now."

>She gets out of the bed and leaves the room, but not before giving you a wink

>Today is going to be a weird one

 

 

"Late-Nightmares"

 

>Day- wait a fucking minute

>It's not day yet, it's still fucking night

>Whatever

>You're in Equestria, that's what matters

>Your body protests you dragging your sorry ass out of bed

>You don't give a fuck

>It can learn to deal with it

>You're out of bed because you have a visitor

>A visitor who won't fucking stop pounding on the door

>You stop by the kitchen, grabbing a bread knife and some ketchup

>Once you're in front of the door, you ruffle your hair and put on the best "batshit crazy motherfucker" face you can muster

>You brandish the serrated knife and smear ketchup all over yourself and your blade

>You give yourself a glance in the mirror

>You look like a fucking serial killer, all right

>You open the door, to find Fluttershy

>She's mumbling something about insomnia fetishes or whatever, you're not paying attention

>She stops mid-sentence, looking up at you

"Hello, Flutters. Would you like to COME IN? I'm just about ready for a MIDNIGHT SNACK!"

>The color drains from her face as she backs away

"You... look..."

>You give a deranged chuckle and wave the knife about

"Delicious."

>Fluttershy disappears into the night, screaming at a frequency only dogs can hear

>You clean yourself up, put away the knife and ketchup, and flop back down on your bed

>Something under the covers next to you stirs

>Luna's head pops out from under the covers

>"Is she gone?"

"Yeah."

>"What did she want, this time?"

"Something about insomnia fetishes, I think."

>"Well... as long as you're up..."

"Yeah, yeah..."

>You didn't get back to sleep that night

 

 

"Why'd It Have To Be Barry White?"

 

>Yet another day in Equestria

>It's been a long and sweaty day of construction

>Time to go home

>Time to wash away all this dirt and sweat

>You get home

>Close the door behind you and strip naked on your way to the bathroom

>You might be concerned about prying eyes, but you've got curtains and all your windows are closed

>You live alone, you can be naked in your house if you want

>You had this weird feeling you were forgetting something, though

>You shrug and turn on your MP3 player for some washin' music

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

>Oh baby. You're all clean.

>Step out of the shower, towel off

>Wrap towel into turban on head

>You step out into hallway, nude

>New song comes on MP3 player

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0I6mhZ5wMw

>Music is blaring out through the house

>You give no fucks and start singing along to it

>You're walking past the kitchen, headed for your room and...

>"O-oh goodness. *ahem* Anonymous?"

>oh

>fuck

>You turn your head to the sound of the voice

>Barry Fucking White, blaring through the house

>You, stark naked

>You forgot today was the day Princess Luna was going to come over to hang out

>She's getting an eyeful of your dick

>A smile creeps onto her face

>"Anonymous, if you wished to court us, you did not need to go to all this trouble."

>She bats her eyelashes

>"You could have merely asked."

>You don't sleep at all tonight

 

 

"Anon Reveals his Fetish"

 

>Day hugbees in Equestria

>Make pancakes for breakfast

>Make extra because you have guests and you're a good host

>There's a knock at your door

>You answer it, revealing Fluttershy

>She's wearing leg warmers, braces, and is carrying what looks like an albacore tuna

>She opens her mouth to speak and you cut her off

"Fluttershy, no. I don't even want to know what fetish you think this is."

>"But-"

"In fact, this shit has gone on long enough. You want to know my fetish so badly? I'll tell you what it is."

>A look of profound happiness appears on her face

>You lean down to her ear level and whisper

"My fetish is natural, long legs."

>The happy look on her face disappears, and she opens her mouth to speak once again

"Hold that thought, I gotta make sure my guests know about breakfast."

>You clap your hands together a few times and call out

"Girls, breakfast is ready!"

>Celestia, Luna, Fleur de Lis, and Cadence all make their way into the dining room, each of them yawning, their manes a complete mess

>Fluttershy's mouth hangs open, unable to form words

"Sorry, Fluttershy. There's just no way you could ever compare to legs like those."

>You yawn

"Whoops, still a bit tired. Didn't get much sleep last night, you know. Anyway, gotta go make sure the girls don't eat all the pancakes. Later."

>You shut the door in Fluttershy's face and head to the dining room

>They made sure to save you some pancakes

>These mares are definitely the best

>Today's gonna be a good day

 

 

"Thai Life Insurance"

 

>Day fuck who cares in Equestria

>Despite being in a different world, you've managed to retain a connection to Earth's internet

>You're browsing the internet with Rainbro when "qtpony5" IMs you a Youtube link

>It's a Thai Life commercial

>Shout "nope" and close the tab quickly

>Rainbro looks at you funny

"Don't give me that fucking look, Rainbow, I don't want to cry right now."

>"What are you, some kind of pussy? Open that shit back up, Anon."

"No!"

>Rainbro socks your arm with a hoof and reopens the tab

>You watch the commercial

>By the end you're both fucking crying like bitches

"I f-fuh-fucking hate you, Rainbow!"

>"I'M SOOOORRY ANON I WAS WROOOONG"

>You hold each other as you cry

>Applejack busts down your door

>"Anon, ah think it's past time you an' me rutted like- whatcha all cryin' fer?"

>You shakily point towards the computer screen

>"What in tarnation...?"

>Applejack watches the commercial, too

>Now she's crying

>You're all holding each other

>Applejack's hoof quests toward your dick through her sobs

>You slap it away

>She cries harder

>More and more ponies come to investigate the noise coming from your house

>Each one watches the commercial and breaks down into a sobbing mess

>Celestia and Luna show up, too

>They push their way through the throngs of sobbing ponies to your computer

>They demand to know what happened

>You show them the commercial

>Even they aren't able to withstand the power of Thai Life

>Now you have two wailing god-ponies clinging to you

>Fluttershy shows up at your door

>"So,um, is crying your fetish, Anon?"

>You punt her into next Tuesday and go back to sobbing