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A Story In Which Anon Learns Nothing [Anon x Molestia]

By: No_Punny_Bizness on Jun 24th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.56 KB  |  hits: 291  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day 11 in Equestria
  2. >You are Anonymous
  3. >And you are so totally fucked
  4. >It started innocently enough
  5. >You gave her a compliment, that's all
  6. >Okay, it was a loaded compliment
  7. >OKAY FINE YOU MADE A PASS AT HER
  8. >Don't you fucking judge me, self, she's basically just an alien that LOOKS like a horse!
  9. >Wait, stop fucking arguing, this is important!
  10. >That little pass you made stirred something deep inside her
  11. >Her sex drive
  12. >Her insatiable, hasn't-been-satisfied-in-millenia, sex drive
  13. >Why did you have to hit on Celestia?
  14. >And now she's got this giant purple THING she calls "Thor" and this manic look in her eye
  15. >Fuck fuck fuck think of something to say!
  16. "Uh, Celestia?"
  17. >"Yes, Anon?"
  18. >She licks her lips as she brings Thor closer
  19. "Shouldn't we, you know, take it a little slower?"
  20. >"No time for that, Anon. You humans have such... short lifespans..."
  21. "Uh, um, w-well..."
  22.  
  23. >"Mmm? Something on your mind, darling?"
  24. >Shit! Think of something else, asshole!
  25. "Uh, it's a pity there isn't any way to give us more time together?"
  26. >She drops Thor
  27. >"What did you say?"
  28. >Yeah, what the fuck are you even saying? Fuck it! Roll with it, bitch!
  29. >You reach a hand up to her head
  30. "If, uh... if there WERE some way, we could take things slowly and... enjoy it."
  31. >Your hand touches her mane and she closes her eyes
  32. >"O-oh..."
  33. >You rub the spot where her left ear meets her head, and she goes limp
  34. "We could enjoy... each other... for a long time."
  35. >Her whole body shivers, and a soft moan escapes from her mouth
  36. "I don't suppose there's a... magical solution, is there?"
  37. >Her eyes shoot open
  38. >She's instantly standing again, albeit a little wobbly
  39. >"Yes... yes, you're right! I'll just make you immortal!"
  40. >Way to go, hotshot!
  41. "What? You ca- you can do that?!"
  42. >"Oh, yes, it's not too hard."
  43. >She giggles at "hard"
  44. >"This won't hurt one bit!"
  45. >She was lying
  46. >It hurt like a motherfucker
  47.  
  48. >Year 2,583 in Equestria, Day 250
  49. >You expected things to get pretty boring after the first few centuries with Celestia
  50. >Somehow, she always managed to make things new and exciting
  51. >Tonight, you were going to have dinner on the moon
  52. >And then you were going to fuck each other senseless during atmospheric reentry
  53. >You'd done it before a few times, but you were both feeling a bit nostalgic tonight
  54. >This time, you wanted to see how good your aim was from so high up
  55. >When you told her your plan, she just stared at you for a minute
  56. >Then she started laughing
  57. >"Just try not to level somepony's house, dear. You know how bad your aim is when you're distracted!"
  58. >Today's gonna be a good day
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