Title:           Joe
Author:          NoLongerAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/bBnGUbA7
First Edit:      Tuesday 18th of June 2013 09:19:01 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 18th of June 2013 09:19:01 PM CDT

>Been living in Equestria for a few years
>Dating this real cute pony for months now
>This stallion named Joe comes out of fucking nowhere into my life
>He's my new coworker at the company I work at
>Find out he has no money andd nowhere to live
>Moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel room
>Decide to open up to him
>Keep him in my apartment for weeks
>Bro is pretty cool
>Wehang out, drinks Applecider, watch hoofball
>This continues for months
>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is magically pregnant
>Excited as fuck, because I thought it was impossible
>Decide to marry her soon
>One night, eating out at dinner with girlfriend
>Joe stayed late at the office for some overtime
>I pop the question to her
>She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine
>She isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated
>Go home in a fucking rage.
>Throw out all Joe's shit
>Gonna fucking kill Joe when he gets home.
>Joe gets home about 1 a.m.
>As soon as he opens the door, I fucking punch him in his bastard face
>Eye swells up like a boll of cotton
>He swings at me
>Dodge and sweep his legs
>He falls down
>In a giant fucking rage now
>Go to my room, grab my handgun out of my drawer
>Go back to confront Joe
>Joe jumps in a carriage and fucking hightails it out of there
>I haven't seen or heard from him since
>On the phone a month later with my brother
>He finally asks why I've been so depressed
>I tell him that if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe
>I'd been married a long time ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giJ5I9yuQEY
>Where did you come from, where did you go--
>Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?