[Anon/Celestia][MinorCLOP] Anon the Manwhore Part 3

One week later.

 

"...and the password ends up actually being 'please'. I mean, seriously? Fucking 'please'?"

>"Go away Anon!"

"Oh and the twist ending is the dumbest fucking thing. Guess what happens!"

>"I'm not listening!"

"That chick following Daring unzips her face like a fucking mask and ends up being-"

>"LALALALALALALALALALA~"

>You snicker at Rainbow Dash's attempt to ignore you, sticking her hooves in her ears.

>You wonder why she hasn't just flown away yet if she doesn't want to hear it.

>But as her negligence is allowing you to be a dick, you aren't going to question it.

>"Rainbow what are you doing?"

>You turn and see Twilight Sparkle approaching, looking at Rainbow curiously.

>Rainbow stopped her obnoxious noise and looked at Twilight.

>"He keeps spoiling the new Daring Do!"

>Twilight just stared at her.

>"Why don't you just... fly away?"

>Twilight you mother fucker.

>Rainbow opens her mouth. Then closes it. She opens it again, and closes it.

>Then she takes off, her rainbow mane quickly becoming a spec in the distant sky.

"Fuckin' killjoy."

>Twilight only rolled her eyes. "Some Canterlot nobles are looking for you at the library."

>You blink.

"What? Why?"

>"I don't know, Anon. Why don't you go and ask them?" She huff, strutting off without another word.

>Yeah, she's been pissy with you for about a week.

>Probably because you boned what was essentially her surrogate mother.

>Also pretty much the surrogate mother of the entire nation.

>She really gives off that motherly feel.

>Well, not to you. That image was rather thoroughly destroyed for you.

>You start your journey towards the library, wondering what they could possibly want.

>Though knowing your recent history, you could guess.

>You arrive at the library that Twilight lives in.

>You'll never understand that. She's royalty yet she lives in a public building.

>You step inside the library and immediately find what Twilight was talking about.

>The center room is filled with various Canterlot royalty.

>You can tell they're Canterlot royalty because they're pretty much the only ponies that aren't nudists.

>They don't wear pants though, rendering it a bit pointless from your perspective.

>Ponies.

>The second you close the door, their gazes snap from their conversations and their books to you.

>Then all hell breaks loose.

>"It's him!"

>"You have to he-"

>"-issues with the econo-"

>"They're gonna take my stat-"

>"-ay you! I'll pay you!"

>You backpedal rapidly as all of the nobles gallop to you, shouting unintelligibly.

>You can get bits and pieces, but their voices drown out each other.

>They crowd around you, some tugging on your pants and shirt, others grabbing bits from their pouches and throwing them at you.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"

>They all freeze, silently staring at you wide-eyed.

>One of them cleared their throat and stepped forward, a unicorn stallion.

>"We're here to ask for your services."

>You blink,

"Services?"

>"Yes, you see, Princess Celestia has been rather... off, recently."

>Oh shit you know where this was going.

>"And the last time this happened, you were capable of, ah, 'fixing' the issue."

"No idea what you're talking-"

>"Oh come now! Everypony in the Palace knows what you did for goodness sake! Don't play dumb!"

>You frown.

"Okay, so she's acting 'off'. So what?"

>"Equestria is on the verge of economic collapse."

>You blink.

"I don't know shit about economy, but I'm pretty sure that kind of thing doesn't happen within a week without some kind of disaster being involved."

>"Exactly! This IS a disaster!"

"Celestia being 'off' is a disaster?"

>"YES" They all shout in unison.

>"She lost her temper the other day! Her! Celestia! She never loses her temper!"

>"She signed a decree without looking and now we're building a twelve meter tall golden cabbage statue in Stalliongrad!"

>"She was twenty-five minutes late raising the sun yesterday!"

>"She keeps arriving late to noon court!"

>"She bumped into me and didn't apologize!"

"Okay okay! I get it! Jesus! So what do you expect me to do about it?"

>They all look at each other, then back at you.

>"Have sex with Princess Celestia."

>You stare at them for a long moment.

"I figured you guys would be pissed about me 'defiling' your princess. Why are you asking me to do it?"

>"Admittedly, at first we were." A unicorn mare says.

>"Then we saw how happy and more importantly, productive she was afterwards." chimed in another.

>"We've exhausted all of our options-" began a stallion.

>"-and you're the only person who's had such a positive effect on her."

>You adopt a pose of mock contemplation.

"Hmmm... No."

>"W-what!?" One says while the rest just sputter. "Why not!? She's the epitome of pony beauty!"

"Yeah, but I'm attracted to humans, not ponies. Even if I wasn't, that was a very unpleasant experience that I would rather not repeat."

>"Unpleasant!? How!?"

"Not gonna say how for both my sake and hers."

>"Then why did you do it in the first place!?" Another shouts.

>You shrug.

"Circumstances were different. Now if you don't mind..."

>You turn and start towards the door.

>"Five thousand bits."

>You pause in the doorway.

>You look back with a raised eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

>A white unicorn stallion with a blue mane and mustache steps forward, adjusting his monocle.

>"I will pay you five thousand bits if you do us this favor."

>You blink.

"You would pay me five thousand bits to go to Canterlot and have sex with your ruler?"

>He nods.

"Do I look like some kind of fucking gigolo to you?"

>You roll your eyes and turn back towards the door.

>"Ten thousand bits!" Another says.

>You stop.

>"Fifteen thousand!" Yet another chimes in.

>"Twenty thousand!"

>You sigh heavily.

>Are you really going to turn down twenty thousand bits?

"How do I know you will all meet your end of the bargain?" you ask without looking back.

>"We'll make it official. Put the deal in the records, then we'll have to pay."

"How do you even know she'll agree to doing it with me again?"

>One of them scoffs. "You're the first being she's had sex with in... ever, according to the history books. You've got to have SOME quality that would convince her to do it again."

>So here you stand with a choice.

>Go back to the deathly poon, and claim a goddess once more with the promise of riches...

>Or don't and get no riches...

>You sigh,

>You really, really would like some riches.

"Alright, I'll do it."

 

>You are Princess Celestia.

>Anonymous is behind you, staring at your presentation.

>Your head is near the floor, your rear in the air with your tail raised.

>You bite your lip as you feel his fingers trace the very outside of your delicate lower lips.

>You gasp as he slips his fingers in, and leans forward over your body.

>He slowly licks your rump while his digits pleasure you.

>In a flash you're on your back, wings spread as he stands over you.

>His exotic manhood stands proud as he stares down at you.

>He lays over you, tracing his masculinity over your marehood.

>He begins to slowly push in while he moves in to give you a passionate kiss.

>You inhale sharply, taking in his scent. It's intoxicating, you need more of it.

>He has almost bottomed out-

>"Your majesty!"

"WHAT!?"

>Your eyes snap open at the interruption, the hoof between your haunches halting in it's movements.

>You're in your chambers, on your bed. The voice came from the doors.

>You clear your throat.

"I... apologize. What is it my little pony?" you call, admirably keeping the frustration out of your voice.

>A small pause follows.

>"N-noon court begins in ten minutes, your majesty." you hear the shaky voice of your subject.

>You sigh. Now you feel bad.

"Yes, thank you for the reminder. I shall be out shortly."

>"O-of course, your majesty" You hear, before the sound of withdrawing hoofsteps.

>You look down at your bed, dejected.

>There's a stain of your own juices at your haunches, and a mark on the pillow you were biting.

>Why does Anonymous affect you this way?

>No matter what, you can't stop thinking about him.

>Perhaps you could get some fire resistant ointments to entice Anon to be with you agai-

>No, you're supposed to be avoiding these thoughts.

>It was a one time thing. He wouldn't want to be with you. He'd be unwilling.

>You wonder if he thinks about you too...

>Probably not.

>You shake your head and prepare for court.

>This is going to be a long day...

 

>You're trying to listen to the pony in front of you. You really are. You wouldn't dare ignore any of your ponies intentionally...

>But you're finding it hard to focus.

>You attentive stare upon the unicorn's presentation tends to slide off of him and into space.

>You unconsciously track the location of the sun.

>You wait impatiently for noon court to be over.

>You can't help it. Your thoughts keep coming back to Anon.

>The unicorn brings out another bar graph, and you think of Anonymous.

>Statements of concern go in one ear and out the other as you imagine him saying your name.

>You wonder if it could have gone differently.

>If perhaps, you didn't just jump him and actually properly courted him.

>Would he have been interested?

>Maybe if you didn't jump his bones you could be in a relationship right now.

>Waiting for court to end so you both can give each other proper attention.

>Pleasure...

>His fingers would trace your horn, his tongue would find its way into your mouth-

>"Your majesty?"

>Your eyes focus back in on the unicorn in front of you.

>Oh horseapples... say something!

"Yes."

>"I... really? Oh thank you your majesty! We shall start construction right away!"

>Oh no, you hope it isn't another cabbage statue.

>Too late to reverse yourself now.

>The unicorn grabs his charts and scurries out of the throne room.

>"That was the last one, your majesty" The door guard confirms.

>Hmm. Not as many as usual.

>Not that you're complaining. You can get off earlier now.

>Hopefully in more ways than one once you get back to your chambers...

"Very well. I declare noon court closed for the day."

>With that, you begin trotting towards the exit.

>"Your highness?"

>You turn to the door guard, who was giving you an odd look.

>"One of your shoes is missing."

>You look towards your rear, to find that your left hind horseshoe is, in fact, missing.

"So it is." You say absently.

>The last time you forgot one of your shoes was-

>Nevermind.

>You trot out of the throne room.

>When you walk out into the hall you see someone that surprises you.

>Someone you've wanted to see yet haven't wanted to see.

>Anon is here.

>The very sight of him causes your loins to heat up considerably.

>You wonder what he's doing here...

 

>You are Anonymous.

>You've made it to Canterlot Palace thanks to the nobles' willingness to lend you a flying carriage.

>You now realize that perhaps you should have been thinking about how to do this.

>Celestia made her self pretty clear last time. Before you were rather happy about that, but now you have twenty thousand bits on the line.

>You quickly arrived outside of the throne room, the guards and a few ponies in line waiting to get in eye you. You don't pay attention to them.

>You realize that coming on to her probably won't work. She's probably got like a million love letters in the past.

>She needs to come to you.

>How do you seduce her into seducing you?

>Last time it was a massage that got her to jump you.

>She has to be attracted to you in some way, you realize.

>She wouldn't randomly jump your bones if she thought you were ugly.

>Maybe you can use that to your advantage.

>Go ask to hang out with her.

>She enjoys doing regular friend stuff, right?

>You can send some subtle hints, maybe she'll pick up.

>Jesus you feel like a girl. "Subtle hints". What the fuck? Men don't give subtle hints, men are straight with their shit! You're supposed to ask "wanna fuck?" and she answers, you don't blush and giggle like a little bitch and wait for her to fuck you!

>But... that would probably scare the princess off.

>None of this will probably work.

>But it's twenty thousand bits. You have to try.

>You sigh.

>"Anonymous? What brings you here?" you hear the princess ask behind you.

>Welp. Do or die. Here you go.