Title:           Paging Dr. Nate
Author:          NameIsJolly
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/nuz748KF
First Edit:      Tuesday 27th of March 2012 08:22:22 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 27th of March 2012 08:22:22 PM CDT

>"Paging Dr. Nate."
>God damn it.
"Yeah, I gotta go, duty calls."
>"Yeah, okay."
>Five more seconds and saving that green fluffy from burning to death would have gotten you into this girl's pants
>Your. Job. Sucks.
>back to 24-style-run/walking through hallways
>Get to the waiting room with a paper you picked up from the office
>Poke through the door
"Mr... Anon?"
>This doofy-looking motherfucker says, "Yeah, that's me!"
>Just shut up and follow me, dickface
 
>"It's my fluffy, he almost-"
"Drowned? Let me guess, you tried feeding it without a bottle?"
>"Yeah."
"1: Fuck yourself. 2: Get a bottle. 3: Read a god damn book about owning a pet before you buy one, ass-clown."
>You just rip the fluffy pony out of this guy's arms like he's made of jelly
>God damn it makes you sick to see these shitty owners
>You wake up every morning and pray to take care of a dog's leg or something, but NO. Fucking more fluffies to resuscitate.
"Yeah, he's dying."
>WHAT!?"
"Shut the fuck up, I can fix this."
>You grab the prongs or as you like to call it, "The sorry stick" and begin to thump down on the fluffy pony
>1, 2, 3, etc.
>It's not working, but you saw it coming.
"Well, fuck."
>"What do you mean?!"
"He's fucked. He's got water in his lungs, but I'm not getting a response out of him. He's still alive, but he'll be dead in a few minutes."
>This guy gets all quiet
>Yeah, you should probably empathize with him more, but honestly this is the third time today that you've seen the waterworks.
>Just fakie to get him to stop crying and then dump the furball
"Yeah.... I'm calling it. You can see the receptionist on the way out. I gotta go, you know... more of this shit."
>"Yeah, no... sure thing... thanks..."
"Hey, buddy, don't worry about it. I've seen worse owners than you."
>The tears are coming, you can feel them
>You turn around and get ready to grab a trashbag for this dumb little fucker
>Wait, this guy Anon is screaming again or something
>Turn around
>The pony's alive, holy shit
>God, now you've gotta spring into action
 
>He's asking how he's alive or something
"Dude, it's a little fluffy pony. Fuck if I know."
>These fucking ponies and their fake-deaths
>They drive you to insanity
>You manage to clean this little shit up so that it can breath a bit
>Honestly it's half-assed, it's probably gonna cough a lot when it gets home
>Fuck it, this guy won't argue
>After you get done, this dramatic cunt comes in for the huggies
>"Daddy dis pwace *cough* scawyyy!"
>"I know, I know, kiddo, just relax, it'll be okay."
>"Daddy..."
>Gag me with a dick
>Manipulation time
>You grab a bottle out of the cabinet, because so many incidents like this happen you just have them there now
>You toss it to Anon
"Yeah, you're gonna want one of these, idiot.""
>"Thanks, thanks, man..."
"Yeah, that's gonna be 20$."
>"For a bottle?"
"Fuck you, I just brought him back from the dead."
>This guy isn't gonna argue, he gives you the money
>"You think he's, like, immortal or something?"
>This motherfucker's from those fucking 4chan forums, yeah, no, immortal fluffies don't exist
>You get a couple fluffies every day who die because their fucking dumbshit owners think they're "immortal.".
"Don't be retarded."
>"Don't be Ableist!"
"Get the fuck out, I gotta go save people's pets."
>"Daddy i dun wike dis fweind..."
>Shut up you fluffy bastard