Title: My Only Friend Derpy 2 - Freaky Internet People Author: NameIsJolly Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/yEgPbwfj First Edit: Monday 2nd of April 2012 10:06:07 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 2nd of April 2012 10:06:07 PM CDT >Fuck fuck fuck Yeah, logic, but I left it off kinda awkward with her at lunch I asked her specifically not to date Rocky, and I don't even know her name yet You lurch into your science room >Rocky and that girl JUST had Writing Workshop together >Who knows what happened between them >You enter >There's Rocky, in the usual spot >It appears that this girl is officially the odd-student in this class (The 13'th), so she has no one partner to get with >You guess she's tripling up with you and Rocky >Teachers must hate it when that happens   >You sit down at the table for two that is usually reserved for you and Rocky, but has been renovated with an extra chair for the girl You say to Rocky "Hey." >To the mystery girl >"Hey, Anon" says Rocky >The girl seems a little more at ease >"Hey. Anon?" "Yeah, Anon. You've met Rocky." >"Yeah." >Rocky seems more prepared for this situation than you; he picks up his conversational game >"Hey, if you need any help with whatever we've been doing in this class lately, ask me. I'm one of those nerdy kids who, "STUDIES"." >She giggles >You'd be mad if you hadn't giggled too Everyone laughs as you pretend to sleep >You feel good >Popular   >It doesn't last long >The thee of you, being awkward penguins, soon run out of things to say >Even Rocky can't find the balls to go on one of his shitty video game rants >For the first time, you're forced to do that which you have never wanted to do >Pay attention in class High school humor isn't like that. Someone else needs to say something first, then I can build off of that and over-analyze it until people laugh Bingo   >The mystery girl speaks up >You quietly scold yourself for not knowing her name yet "So, Rocky, what are you gonna do your project on?" >Oh, it's this again >People around you talking about a class that you're not in >You have absolutely nothing to contribute >"Uh, I dunno yet. Maybe video games." >"Really?" >"Yeah, I'm, uh, a big fan of Xbox. Figure I'll 'write what I know'." >"Oh yeah, right!" >They start laughing >"Write what you know" must be that teacher's catchphrase No "What, is that that teacher's catchphrase?" >Your joke falls flat on the floor, like pizza that got delivered to an orgy-house   >"Heh, yeah" she says. >You feel like you just burst into the wrong room >Unwanted >Certainly not popular >Rocky isn't as polite >"What?" "Seems like every teacher in this school has a catchphra-" >Your Science teacher chimes in >"Hey, so, lets get to work on the assignment, ok?" he says in a passive tone, like a hotel concierge you just wanna punch and choke and punch >He walks away once all fun is decimated >A stroke of brilliance! "I guess that's Mr. Leimann's catchphrase" >Everyone snickers >You're the star again   >This goes on like hills and valleys for the entire class >It's exhausting >Is this the shit senior football stars have to deal with? Every day? >This sucks >But, you end the class on a high hill, so that's good >you all have a conversation going about video games and how they would get novelized >"I don't know about you, but I'd pay MONEY to read a novelization of MW3." "Well, I wasn;t talking about, like, modern games, more like, Super Mario Bros." >She shows her comedy balls a bit when she says, "I'd like to read 'Tetris'." >Everyone laughs >And you're all still laughing when you walk out the door >All going to your next class >The conversation doesn't stop >This is what all the pretty people on TV do >This is what high school is supposed to be like   >Algebra is a repeat >Nix the interruption from the teacher- Your math teacher has given up on life and just hands you your assignments at the beginning of class >If you do it, you do it >Your conversation gets cool >Rocky poses an excellent idea >?You guys wanna come over my place this saturday?" >It's high school: you can ask girls to come over now "I'm into it. Better than my house, I live on a farm." >"You want us to come over?" she asks >"Yeah. Saturday okay?" >It's not like you have to consult your address book "I'm in." >She seems more encouraged >"Yeah, I think I can get a ride."   *** SATURDAY ARRIVES ***   >Rocky's house is cool on the outside >He lives south of your family's farm; in a real suburb >You've only dreamed of living in places like these; god-forbid you grow up in a corrupt urban area >You say goodbye to your mom and leave for your play-date, or whatever you want to call it >Rocky greets you at the door >"Hey man!" "Hi. That girl already here?" >"Diane? Yeah, she's in my room on the internet. Come on in. Want some crackers or something?" "Nah, I'm not hungry." >"Cool. Crank Yankers is on." >They re-run that on Comedy central now "Neat." >You enter Rocky's room >Suprise: it's all clean >You're kinda glad >You hate going over to the houses of people who have really messy rooms and yell for their moms to get them pizza rolls at the tops of their lungs >Diane is sitting at a desk, using a computer. >She turns to meet you >"Oh, hey, Anon. Rocky, come over here." >He obeys >They share something on the screen >"I can explain that." >"Uh huh?" she asks, giggling beyond giggling >She turns away from the computer so you can see it >There's a cartoon playing on it >It looks sorta like Foster's home for Imaginary Friends Oh. I see. It's My Little Pony.   >Diane is obviously not a freaky internet person >Not a 4chan regular like you, no >She wouldn't know about the gang of freaky internet people who make funny stories and images pertaining to a show for little girls >You, being a moderate freaky internet person, know about the whole "brony" thing, but you're definitely not metrosexual enough to be a part of it >But apparently you attract that kind of element >Rocky tries his hand at explaining the whole internet to her, but it only makes her laugh more >You >Are >So >Awkward >You feel like you should assist Rocky in explaining, but you just play dumb >At a moment, you just space out >Snap back to reality   >"You seem quiet about all this," she says between her laughter >You look over >Rocky is blushing hard Oh man, you're gonna have to do this > "Wow." >"I know, right?" "No, I mean, wow, like, I didn't think anyone else in this school liked that show too." >You wanna grab the words as they leave your head and burn them alive >Rocky suddenly gets less embarrassed; he's holding the majority now >Diane is fucking dying >"You know, you should at least watch one episode before you judge." >She is delighted >"Oh, indeed, I'm definitely watching an episode. I gotta see this."   >Rocky turns to you >"Okay, you're a brony too. That's really cool man." >You say some generic made-in-china word that resembles "yes" >"Which episode you think we should watch? > > >Shit. >You have to improvise off of knowledge you've gathered off of the internet "Uh,... yeah, uh... yeah." >"Uh huh?" "Yeah. uh, I don't remember the name of it, but it was the one with... uh... Applejack? and, uh... Rainbow?" >You pray to god that there's one with the apple one and the rainbow one. >"You mean Fall Weather Friends?' > "...yes?"   >"yeah, okay. Not my choice, but I think that would be a good choice." >"Do you two girls even know I'm still here?" >When she's around friends she gets cocky, eh? >You don't know how you feel about that >"Lets do this." >Rocky turns around; the tables have clearly turned >"Get ready to join the herd, SON." "Yeah." >"Uh huh." >After a while of fumbling around, Rocky finally hooks up his computer to his TV and we can watch it on the big screen >Diane has last words: "Hey, Rocky?" >"Yeah?" >"What's your last name?" >"Tosh." >"I'm just gonna call you RT from now on "RT sounds pretty cool." >"That's gay," he says, then turns back to his laptop to play the video file   *** ROUGHLY FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY-FOUR SECONDS PASS ***   >Diane starts freaking out at the screen   -END-   Thanks to MLPFiM Wikia for approximate time