Goatse in Equestria 5: Oh Hell No

By: NameIsJolly on Apr 3rd, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 6.02 KB | hits: 264 | expires: Never

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>Wake up
>You slept on the roof of Sweet Apple Acres, because you're convinced you are a bird
<Nigga you no bird
>STFU logic you belong in the derpy stories
<But I wanna be in the Goatses too...
"FUCK YOU YOU OVERPRIVLEDGED FUCK."
>You exclaim, audibly, to your imaginary 4th-wall-joke logic, with no one around
>Wait, what's that coming up to the door
>It's one of those little mutant horses you love so much
>"Tra la la la la! Gee, I wonder what Goatse's up to!"
>It's Pipsqueak, that mutant horse you rejected last installment
>You briefly consider tossing him away like before, but you remember you found yourself regretting that move last time
>The fucking mutant starts ringing the fucking doorbell
>the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE
>You roll off of the roof, in an attempt to break Pip's neck in a similar fashion to Mr. Cake
>You thud to the ground
>
>Huh?
>No satisfying crunch?
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o19CaOSuD8
>You look up from your fetal-landing
>The fucker is looking down on you
>"Oh, hi Mr. Goatse! I just came back to ask you why you threw me into that tree back there that one time."
"NEENER"
>You get up
>Horse is gonna die
>You're not even gonna be creative about this shit
>You morph your left arm into a sword like the terminator in Terminator 2 and shove it right into that little fucker's eye
>Stab the fuck outta that nigga's brain
>hellyeahmotherfucker.jpg
>
>
>"Mr. Goatse, why is your hand all silvery?"
>thefucknigga.mp3
>You retract from his eye and kneel down to inspect the cunt
>His eye is totally fine
"WHAT IS YOUR SORCERY, MOTHERFUCKER?"
>"I just wanna be friends with you, mr. goatse!"
>whatthefuckman
>Fuck a munkels unkey if there's ever been a creature you couldn't brutally murder before
>You sweep around him, open the door, and let him into your home
>"Wow Mr., this is a real nice house! 'Course it used to be the Apples', but you killed Applejack, and kicked her family out!"
>You respond by smacking him across the face like the little cock-whore he is
>The fucker doesn't even feel it
>"Did you know the Apples are homeless now? No pony will take them in... too much of a burden."
>Again, you smack him; this time on his cute little flank
>Fucking nothing man
"WHY ARE YOU NOT DYING."
>"Because, Mr. Goatse! I'm invincible now!
>Invincible
>What the fuck
>Nothing has ever happened like this
>You close the front door behind you
>Clearly this being has a lot to teach you
>You fall to your stomach in front of your new master, doing a spread eagle, bowing
"..........TEACH ME."
>"Look up, Mr. Goatse!"
>You look up
>Holy
>Fucking
>Shit
>This mutant baby horse has such a huge throbbing penis that it is absolutely unfathomable
>Seriously. It's like that giant eel thing in that one game
>It's so big compared to you that it makes you feel like that baby in that one picture where the guy is fucking the newborn baby
>And
>It's
>AWWWW-RIIIGHT
>You look up further
>Your master looks down upon you
>His face is the face of Goatse now
>"Suck it you whore"
* * *
>For the last year, you and Pip have lived in Sweet Apple Acres
>You have been surviving on stale bread, rotten apple cores, and each other's semen
>On-and-off-again lovers, he manages to fuck you in your loose, gaping asshole every night
>It feels so good when he comes inside of you
>With every orgasm you take in, you feel a little bit closer to immortality
>Tonight is different
>In the morning, you bring him his taco just like he asked
>It is made of human meat from your inner thigh, and the shell is a piece of your scalp that you cut off
>You kneel as he takes a bite, gingerly
>Chew
>Chew
>"It is satisfactory."
"Nigger," you say, solemnly
>Your master looks at you with tears in his eyes
>You turn around and dry them with your rectum
>"Goatse, my son, it is time for me to go."
>You begin to cry, but stop; you've known for a whole that this day was near
>You grab a hit of LSD out of your anus and take it
>"Today you shall experience your final lesson."
>In response, you make a noise that;s kinda like a sad Wookie
>Pip removes himself from his chair
>He walks outside , off towards the town
>You follow him, like the disciples followed jesus to the cross
>Except for that one who betrayed him, who was a cunt
* * *
>You reach the town; it's the first time you've shown your face in ages
>Mutant horses who see you remember the tales and run
>No mutant horses try to save Pip from you; they assume him already dead
>Pip walks in front of you when you reach Sugarcube Corner
"What is this?"
>The small foal only spreads his plot in your face
>You attribute this vision to the LSD kicking in
>Surely this can't be real!
>But your suspicions are proved to be accurate
>"Goatse, I love you. I want your peeny in my beany."
>Tears are legit coming down your face, fool
>Your penis is, needless to say, erect beyond erect
>You inch closer to his anus
>Your voice momentarily changes to the exact pitch and tone of Hogarth Hughes from the Iron Giant
"I... I love you..."
>"I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU NIGGA," he says lovingly
>You will intertwine as one
>You begin to fuck him like he's a got-damn fleshlight
>The wisdom fills you entirely
>All is at peace
>You gain the heat of a thousand suns
>This is super sayan
>What the fuck
>What the fuck
>What the fuck
>Orgasm
* * *
>Everything is frozen
>Not a single limb, not even your peeny, is movable
>You and your master are frozen together in time
>Ponies still haven't come out of their homes
>With your newfound endless knowledge, you can predict that you will be frozen for the next thousand micro-millennia
>FUN FACT: ten-thousand micro-millennia amounts to about a week
>Now we play the waiting game
>
>
>
>Wait
>Who's that mutant horse
>
>It's red
>It's Big Macintosh
>
>He see you
>Not moving
>He trots gingerly over to you, rage i his eyes
>He raises a hind hoof in anger
>"This is fer' mah' sister, Goatse."
>That motherfucker is taking a horse piss on you
>
>
>
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6q-6RroaJA
-END?-

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Wake up
>You slept on the roof of Sweet Apple Acres, because you're convinced you are a bird
<Nigga you no bird
>STFU logic you belong in the derpy stories
<But I wanna be in the Goatses too...
"FUCK YOU YOU OVERPRIVLEDGED FUCK."
>You exclaim, audibly, to your imaginary 4th-wall-joke logic, with no one around
>Wait, what's that coming up to the door
>It's one of those little mutant horses you love so much
>"Tra la la la la! Gee, I wonder what Goatse's up to!"
>It's Pipsqueak, that mutant horse you rejected last installment
>You briefly consider tossing him away like before, but you remember you found yourself regretting that move last time
>The fucking mutant starts ringing the fucking doorbell
>the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE
>You roll off of the roof, in an attempt to break Pip's neck in a similar fashion to Mr. Cake
>You thud to the ground
>
>Huh?
>No satisfying crunch?
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o19CaOSuD8

>You look up from your fetal-landing
>The fucker is looking down on you
>"Oh, hi Mr. Goatse! I just came back to ask you why you threw me into that tree back there that one time."
"NEENER"
>You get up
>Horse is gonna die
>You're not even gonna be creative about this shit
>You morph your left arm into a sword like the terminator in Terminator 2 and shove it right into that little fucker's eye
>Stab the fuck outta that nigga's brain
>hellyeahmotherfucker.jpg
>
>
>"Mr. Goatse, why is your hand all silvery?"
>thefucknigga.mp3
>You retract from his eye and kneel down to inspect the cunt
>His eye is totally fine
"WHAT IS YOUR SORCERY, MOTHERFUCKER?"
>"I just wanna be friends with you, mr. goatse!"
>whatthefuckman

>Fuck a munkels unkey if there's ever been a creature you couldn't brutally murder before
>You sweep around him, open the door, and let him into your home
>"Wow Mr., this is a real nice house! 'Course it used to be the Apples', but you killed Applejack, and kicked her family out!"
>You respond by smacking him across the face like the little cock-whore he is
>The fucker doesn't even feel it
>"Did you know the Apples are homeless now? No pony will take them in... too much of a burden."
>Again, you smack him; this time on his cute little flank
>Fucking nothing man
"WHY ARE YOU NOT DYING."
>"Because, Mr. Goatse! I'm invincible now!

>Invincible
>What the fuck
>Nothing has ever happened like this
>You close the front door behind you
>Clearly this being has a lot to teach you
>You fall to your stomach in front of your new master, doing a spread eagle, bowing
"..........TEACH ME."
>"Look up, Mr. Goatse!"
>You look up
>Holy
>Fucking
>Shit
>This mutant baby horse has such a huge throbbing penis that it is absolutely unfathomable
>Seriously. It's like that giant eel thing in that one game
>It's so big compared to you that it makes you feel like that baby in that one picture where the guy is fucking the newborn baby
>And
>It's
>AWWWW-RIIIGHT

>You look up further
>Your master looks down upon you
>His face is the face of Goatse now
>"Suck it you whore"

* * *

>For the last year, you and Pip have lived in Sweet Apple Acres
>You have been surviving on stale bread, rotten apple cores, and each other's semen
>On-and-off-again lovers, he manages to fuck you in your loose, gaping asshole every night
>It feels so good when he comes inside of you
>With every orgasm you take in, you feel a little bit closer to immortality
>Tonight is different
>In the morning, you bring him his taco just like he asked
>It is made of human meat from your inner thigh, and the shell is a piece of your scalp that you cut off
>You kneel as he takes a bite, gingerly
>Chew
>Chew
>"It is satisfactory."
"Nigger," you say, solemnly

>Your master looks at you with tears in his eyes
>You turn around and dry them with your rectum
>"Goatse, my son, it is time for me to go."
>You begin to cry, but stop; you've known for a whole that this day was near
>You grab a hit of LSD out of your anus and take it
>"Today you shall experience your final lesson."
>In response, you make a noise that;s kinda like a sad Wookie
>Pip removes himself from his chair
>He walks outside , off towards the town
>You follow him, like the disciples followed jesus to the cross
>Except for that one who betrayed him, who was a cunt

* * *

>You reach the town; it's the first time you've shown your face in ages
>Mutant horses who see you remember the tales and run
>No mutant horses try to save Pip from you; they assume him already dead
>Pip walks in front of you when you reach Sugarcube Corner

"What is this?"
>The small foal only spreads his plot in your face
>You attribute this vision to the LSD kicking in
>Surely this can't be real!
>But your suspicions are proved to be accurate
>"Goatse, I love you. I want your peeny in my beany."
>Tears are legit coming down your face, fool
>Your penis is, needless to say, erect beyond erect
>You inch closer to his anus
>Your voice momentarily changes to the exact pitch and tone of Hogarth Hughes from the Iron Giant
"I... I love you..."
>"I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU NIGGA," he says lovingly
>You will intertwine as one
>You begin to fuck him like he's a got-damn fleshlight
>The wisdom fills you entirely
>All is at peace
>You gain the heat of a thousand suns
>This is super sayan
>What the fuck
>What the fuck
>What the fuck
>Orgasm

* * *

>Everything is frozen
>Not a single limb, not even your peeny, is movable
>You and your master are frozen together in time
>Ponies still haven't come out of their homes
>With your newfound endless knowledge, you can predict that you will be frozen for the next thousand micro-millennia
>FUN FACT: ten-thousand micro-millennia amounts to about a week
>Now we play the waiting game
>
>
>
>Wait
>Who's that mutant horse
>
>It's red
>It's Big Macintosh
>
>He see you
>Not moving
>He trots gingerly over to you, rage i his eyes
>He raises a hind hoof in anger
>"This is fer' mah' sister, Goatse."
>That motherfucker is taking a horse piss on you
>
>
>
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6q-6RroaJA

-END?-

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