Title:           Dingy? (fluffy)
Author:          NameIsJolly
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/VZjDjJRY
First Edit:      Thursday 19th of April 2012 11:55:57 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 19th of April 2012 11:55:57 PM CDT

>Fluffy pony is about to give birth
>Okay, you've prepared for this
>You have to do this as fast as possible
>Don't worry about accommodating her or making it feel comfortable; she's gonna whine about it no matter what you do
>Fluffy pony is now the size of a small rubber ball, so it must be a big litter
>Lay fluffy down on her back on the kitchen counter
>No time for rubber gloves; you pour a bit of vodka over your fingers as an amateur disinfectant.
>"Why tummy huwt daddy? Fwuffy guh be mumma now?" she says, in tired whimpers
"Yeah, soon, just stay with me."
>Stick ring finger quickly up fluffy pony's rectum
>manually move fluffy pony's cervix into place, as quickly as possible
>Through wild screams, fluffy pony shouts, "Fwuffy no wanna babies anymow!" "Daddy sowweee!!"
>Don't worry, she won't remember any of this
>Have to simultaneously maneuver index finger and thumb into fluffy vagina whithout leaving the rectum, to prevent blockage and fluffsplosion
>Feel around until you feel an umbilical cord
>Grab it
>Pull the foal out by its cord as quickly as possible; like a bandaid
>Fluffy pony's voice goes so high it goes silent completely
 
>Out comes a small, still fluffless unicorn colt
>Fluffy is hyperventilating, but immediately wants to see her still-mewing baby
>She, exhaustingly, looks at the foal (which is resting between your fingers right now), and blurts out, "Dah' mah' babeh?"
"Yeah. Want him?"
>"Gif' mummy babeh!"
>You quickly break the umbilical cord (you pinch through it with your fingers like elbow pasta) and hand the foal to its mother
>The umbilical wound closes up almost automatically, as the muscles naturally contract to prevent organ spillage and infection
>Fluffy rolls over to her side with the foal in her arms and begins to simply lick the amneotic fluids and other assorted bodily junk off of him
>Upon licking his horn, she is confused
>"Why beby haf' dingy?"
"What thingy?" you ask, cleaning your hands
>Fluffy points a hoof to the horn
>"Dat."
 
"That's his horn. Your baby is a unicorn."
>Fluffy pony is completely perplexed by this
>"Whew fwuffy dingy go?"
"What, your horn? You never had a horn, fluffy. You're an earth pony. Your baby is a unicorn."
>Fluffy pony continues to ponder, but then goes back to nursing her baby without a word
>You finish up washing your hands and fix a small bed of towels for your fluffy family to let the mother naturally take care of her young
>You want a natural birth here
>Probably a side-effect of all the fluffy foal-abuse stories you've read lately on 4chan
>You leave the baby with its mother to go to your own devices for a bit
>You tell your friend on facebook what birthing a fluffy foal was like
>He's now sold on getting a fluffy for himself
>After a little bit you go back for fluffy pony and her foal
>You are a bit surprised to find the towel-bed coated in one big splotch of dark-red blood
"Fluffy, are you having trouble cleaning your baby?"
>"beby no move."
"What?"
>"Fwuffy scawed of beby juse. No wanna beby anymow."
>You pick the fluffy up off of its child to get a better look at the foal
>Little did you know, fluffy pony still had the foal's horn lodged firmly in its mouth
>As you list the fluffy, it lets go of its baby's body, but not the horn
>the body falls down and the pulling scalp of it pulls strips of flesh off of it like a potato being peeled
>Fluffy foal's skinless, scalp-less body hangs numbly from its mother's mouth
>It drops for the mother to say, "baby nummies?"
 
* * *
 
>Today the baby asked you again
>You really hate when that happens
>You were working on work and stuff when the baby came into your room and asked you
>"Daddy daddy!" it can only talk in small strips of words, even more illiterate than the average fluffy pony
"What, baby?"
>"Why dat?" he asks, pointing at his stump
>Oh man
"That's nothing, don't worry about it."
>It stares at you, partially because it wants an actual answer, and partly because it doesn't understand what you're saying at all yet
>"Owies" it says, broadly
"I know, it's gonna hurt for a long time."
>It takes a bit to inspect itself more before throwing the second question at you
>"Daddy!"
"What?"
>"Fwuff no huggies."
>Fluffy's baby is, once again, questioning its lack of real fluff on some parts of its body
>They were able to put fake follicles on the skin-grafts, but it's still not quite the same
>Fluffy baby finds himself itching at night and surrounded by an uneven and cris-crosing coat
>You are saved by fluffy pony's sudden presence in the room
>"Behby why you weave? Momma miss behby!"
>"Mumma!" it yelps, "Mumma huggies!"
>Fluffy pony gives its foal a big hug, but it is broken by fluffy baby's insistent questioning
>"Mummy mummy!"
>"Wat?"
>"Why dat?" he asks, once again pointing at his stump
>Fluffy pony does not even notice the stump
>"Why wat?"
>"Dat! owies!"
>"Dun wowy! Mumma make owies go 'way!"
>Fluffy pony blows a short raspberry where her baby was pointing
>It succeeds in alleviating his pain, for now
>The both leave the room to go pway
>You shudder as you remember the blood