The Trial of Omar Du'Quan - Part I

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY: SecureTripcodeJerk!!X08v3TCEmkn

 

>You are generic nigga #0254, chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool at your government subsidized apartment in southeast Brooklyn.

>Fearing you have run dangerously low on food stamps, you zip up your Air Jordans, don your Puma gear and head to the welfare office.

>As you are passing through the fifth red light you have jaywalked through today, a middle aged white man driving an SUV violently runs you over.

>He looks in horror at your broken body on the pavement

>Everything fades to black

 

>After what seems to be only seconds, you wake up in a field of wheat.

 

 

"Shit, man. Fukkin' cracka ain' got no eyes, man." You groan.

"Nearly bust a nigga'... Ey, where da fuk errybody go?"

>It takes a minute for the ringing to stop in your ears, even longer for your eyes to focus

>As you slowly regain your senses, your surroundings take the breath from your very lungs

"WHERE DA' CARS?"

"WHERE BE THA CITY?"

"WHERE AT' CRACKA WHAT DONE RUN ME OVER?

"SOMEBODY BE TRYIN' FUK WIT ME? I FUKKIN' DECK YA, FOOL!"

>A rustling behind you all but sends you into a fit of hysteria.

>You pull your gun from your underwear and display it in the direction of the sound.

"EY', SHOW YO' FACE."

>A tiny yellow horse with the largest ribbon you've ever seen steps forth with a frown upon her face.

 

>"Wha'.. WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YEW?" She screams.

>Wait

>She screams

>A horse

>Screaming

>Words

 

>For what seems the longest minute of your life, you stare in bewilderment at tiny yellow talking horse in front of you.

>The talking horse that seems to shatter everything your fourth-grade education taught you about animals not being able to talk.

>Yet here it is.

>In front of you

>A Talking. Fucking. Horse.

 

>That's when you start to scream.

 

"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" You start.

>"aaaaaAAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" She starts.

"GAH, FUGGIN' SHIT! WHA-WHAT IN GAWDS'S NAYME?!"

>You fire several shots in the direction of the yellow horse.

>All of which, of course, miss.

>She takes off faster than you run from most cops.

>Out, out of the field..

>Towards..

>A barn?

 

>Once she is out of sight, you lower your firearm

>It looks like she went around the barn, you see a house as well.

>You're too tired to think about it.

>You drop your pistol to the ground and it discharges.

>You leap several feet into the air before landing on your ass.

>You start to cry.

"Mo'fukkin whitey, ruinin' mah day."

"I was posed'to get some poo-tang tonight."

"Hit up da club wif mah boys."

"Ain'nona dat shiet happin' now tho. Naw, fukkin' whitey.."

"Fukkin' talkin horse..."

>You start to feel faint

"Fuk..kin....g-gun..."

>You notice that little yellow bitch is back outside, near the barn.

>Along side her are two more figures.

>They're too damned far away to tell what they're doing...

>Are they coming this way?

>Fuck..

>You never noticed how...hot it is..

>..until..

>.....now..

 

*thud*

 

>You come to in a dimly lit room on a straw mattress.

>Your clothes have been removed.

>Your gun is no where in sight.

>You have wet the bed.

>Fuck.

 

>The only window in the room is covered with drapes, but you can guess it's still day.

>Just then, a shadow moves by the door.

>You work up the nerve...

 

"Ey'yo, Horse."

 

>The shadow stops moving.

 

"Ey'yo, c'mere."

 

>After a few seconds the door creaks open, and an orange colored equine steps over the threshold.

>"Uhh.." she begins.

>"H-howdy.. my names Applejack."

>Fucking hell, she looks like she's going to shit liquid fear.

>At least that means she's not going to eat you.

>Probably.

 

"Yo, mah' name be Omar Du'Quan."

"How bout' chu' tell me where I am rite now?"

 

>"Well, uh.."

>"You're in ah little town called Ponyville... sir."

 

>You notice she's been holding back that little yellow horse with the bow this whole time you've been talking.

>She's got some friends with her now.

>They're all carrying whips and chains

>What the fuck..

 

>"APPLEJACK, LET ME GO!" shouts the little yellow pony.

>"AH' GOTTA CHAIN THA' BEAST SO SCOOTS AN' SWEETIE BELLE CAN SLAY IM'!" says the yellow pony.

>"Appleboom, hush now! You have no idea who this.. Uh.. colt is or anything of his manner." says Applejack.

>"BUT SIS-" Applebloom groans.

>"No! No buts!"

>"Take your friends and make use'a those whips an' chains. Go wrassle' up a few'a the hogs!" Demands the orange pony.

>The little yellow one pouts, and turns to leave.

>"Come on girls, we ain' getting no black beast slayin' cutie mark today.." she says dejectedly.

 

>"Ahm sorry bout' all that."

>"They can git' so hell-bent on their fantasies."

 

"Yea' fo sho."

"I gotta' few kids in mah' neighborhood can kick a'few heads in an' shit."

"Threats ain' nothing new fo'me."

 

>"Well.." she begins.

>"Ah' sure as hell dunno where yall came from, but yer bum seems pretty busted up somethin' bad."

 

>Your bum?

>Fuck, the car accident.

>But...Your whole body was broken.

>You only busted your ass when you got here.

>Why is everything else fine?

>Are you...dead?

 

"Well, I....Thanks, man."

>"Sure.. You need anything?"

"Naaw... Imma just chillax here.. Uh.."

"Till....Uh..."

>You have nowhere to go.

 

>"......Well.....I'll just let you gather your thoughts for a while."

>Applejack leaves, shutting the door behind her with a *click*

 

>...

>Fuck.

>You aren't gonna lay in this bed all day.

>No.

>If you really are dead..

>And this really is the afterlife..

>You figure you must be in hell.

>And that orange pony must be one heck of a succubus, cause you can still smell her wonderful stank.

>That sweet, sweet nectar.

>It was difficult refraining from popping a boner that whole conversation,

>Maybe you'll still get that poo-tang you wanted after all.

 

>You take off the covers and get out of bed.

>You find your clothes laying nearby and put them on.

>Thankfully, the door's using some ghetto-ass tumbler system.

>You take a bobby pin from your afro and pick the lock.

>The door swings wide open.

>The smell of pussy juice fills your nostrils.

 

"Horse'o human.." you begin.

"A pussy's a fukin' pussy."

>You follow the scent down the hallway.

 

END PART I

AKA: THE POINT AT WHICH THE TIMELINE DIVERGES.