Crazy About You: Chapter 4

“You know the rest of the story from there, we get along famously, I help you with your research and though I was inside Glimmer, she has yet to get dick from me, both literally and figuratively.”

>Sunny lets out an amused yawn and smacks her lips loudly.

“We still get along somehow, as she just smothers me with her doughy body every night, claiming I help her sleep.”

>”You're like a Teddy Bear, a really delicious Teddy Bear.”

“Well you don't see me snuggling glazed hams to knock out for the night.”

>”Oh you know what I mean, she really likes you.”

>You give Sunny a deadpan stare.

>She only giggles as she dismissively waves her fore hoof in the air.

>”Seriously, aside from the whole human part, you should give her a chance.  We have plenty of cross-species relationships in Equestria.”

“Really?  Name some.”

>”Well... there's dragons and ponies, gryphons and sea serpents, buffalo and...”

“Alright, alright, I get your point.  I'll think about it once I know that she just doesn't want me inside her.”

>Sunny stares at you with a sultry attitude.

“Permanently, I mean.”

>Her stare does not falter with your previous statement.

>You stare nervously at her at what she is silently implying.

>”Well, its always nice to talk with you.  I'd ask for more, but I have to meet up with Apple and Glimmer for our scout meeting.”

“Yeah, Glimmer told me that things were getting quite heated.  You sure you'll be able to perform when the time comes?”

>”Yeah, it'll be fine.  We'll come back tomorrow morning so you don't get lonely, okay?”

“Take your time, I don't plan on leaving this place anyway.”

>”That's my human,” Sunny says before trotting up to you and giving you a sloppy lick to your face.

>You rub her saliva out of your eyes before giving a groan of dissatisfaction to your guest.

“I'm glad you have more control than Glimmer.  Even a drop of salt water gets her riled up.”

>Sunny giggles before playing with your hair a bit.

>”Then again, it was your idea to wake her up with her mouth wide open.”

“Yeah, yeah... always my fault.”

>”Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow.  Get some sleep.”

>Glimmer skips away to the hallway, leaving you to your own devices.

>Not that you had much to play with anyway.

>Exhausted, you decide to retire early tonight.

>Being the 2nd week in a row that you've been wearing pajamas, you decide to just flop onto the bed to knock out for the night.

 

>In the darkness of the night,a heavy weight presses itself again you.

“Ngh, huh?”

>You look up to see a dark figure whose large teeth shine in the moonlight.

>What you assume is 2 hooves, pins your chest to your bed.

>You manage to utter a bit of flattery as your left hand rummages through your pajama pocket.

“H-hey there gorgeous, beautiful night, eh?”

>The pony figure gives you a Cheshire Cat grin before answering in a deep, masculine voice.

>”I'm not that kind of stallion, but I can make an exception for you.”

>Each word he uttered brought his face closer to yours as you aim your gun from your pocket towards the invader's hind leg.

>You poke his leg with your pocketed gun, bringing his attention behind him.

>”Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

>Laughing at his own joke you pull the trigger, letting loose a tranquilizer dart into the pony's thigh.

>Shocked at the sudden jolt of pain, he backs away from you before colliding with the ground underneath him.

>Getting up from bed, you give the pony a quick kick to its fore hoof, making sure its out like a busted light.

“Well, hope that dosage was enough, don't want you getting up now.”

>Being wide awake, you head into your kitchen, noting that all your appliances appear to be off.

“Great... power's out now.  Some condo management this is.”

>You throw open the refrigerator door and grab a carton of milk.

>Opening and slowly sipping on the container, you wait for the sun to rise and for your guests to return.

>You idly turn the faucet on your sink, observing no water rushing out of it.

>Taking another sip of milk, you frown to yourself.

“Looks like my time is up.  Was nice while it lasted.”

>With the refrigerator door still open, you grab the remaining vegetables and chuck them onto the kitchen island.

>You continue to talk to yourself as you slice cucumbers and toss lettuce into a large bowl.

“Might as well make one last meal before checking out.”

>Adding all your leftover vegetables into the hodge-podge of green and red, you sigh as you lay out all your condiments on the island as well.

>Salad dressing, croutons... and other assorted additives.

>Once everything is prepared, you sit down on the sofa and load another dart into your gun.

>As you watch the sun's rays crawl its way out of your bedroom, you hear a familiar clop of hooves down the hallway.

>Gun at the ready, you eye your doorway for unfamiliar intruders.

>”Anonymous, we have returned for you dear!”

>Sinking into the sofa, you lazily drop your gun to the floor and kick it underneath the furniture.

“Just in time, I was about to make a daring escape without your permission.”

>As the three familiar mares emerge from your doorway, Glimmer gives a small titter.

>”Oh, now we cannot have that, now can we?”

>As Apple Shine leaps onto your lap to nuzzle your neck, Sunny appears much more serious.

>”So, is no one else going to break the news to Anon?”

>Glimmer and Apple Shine both remain silent, refusing to make eye contact with you.

>Apple shifts uncomfortably on you as Sunny continues her train of thought.

>”Well, fine.  Anon... development is coming much more rapidly that anypony would have expected.”

>You nod in affirmation.

>”We'll be receiving a lot of unicorn support in clearing the area of other creatures, sentient or not.”

>You raise an eyebrow to this.

>”We should be receiving support from the clean-up crews shortly, making sure that... all humans have vacated the area.”

“Well, that sure explains my surprise this morning!”

>You exclaim as Glimmer and Sunny look at you in confusion.

>Playing with Apple Shine's yellow mane in one hand, you use your free hand to point to your bedroom.

“One of your buddies tried to make breakfast of me a few hours ago.”

>Sunny immediately shoots over to your bedroom, seeing the prone pony on the floor.

>She checks his pulse before turning to you.

“Don't worry about him, I got him good with a dart to the ass, he should be fine.”

>”Well, I doubt he'll be very happy when he wakes up.  Glimmer, can you take Short Shovel outside of the building?”

>Glimmer nods at Sunny before dragging the beige pony out your door.

>”He usually sleeps on the job, so we shouldn't worry about just dumping him out there.”

>Apple Shine's head perks up and looks over towards your kitchen.

>”Hey... is that food for us?”

“Yeah, go help yourself, I put it out for you guys.”

>As Apple Shine leaps off of your lap, Sunny trots over and takes a seat next to you on the sofa.

>Clearing her throat, she stares at you sternly.

>”So, what are you going to do now?”

>You turn your head towards her, feeling the intensity of her stare.

>You smile and shrug your shoulders.

“What can I do?  If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the dominating race calling the shots.”

>”Aren't you going to run?”

“What use is there in running?  So I can be caught and eaten again later?”

>Sunny shakes her head, obviously perturbed by your outlook.

>”Look, you're not like the other humans.  You can use your wits to survive this.  You told me stories of how humans use their ingenuity to solve their problems, right?”

>While your head nods, your mind only registers pieces of Sunny's pep talk.

>You are far more focused on the mouth of your guest.

>”You're probably the smartest human we've seen in this entire area.  And hey, maybe if you mention our names to anypony that captures you, you can convince them that you're useful, right?”

>Large enough to accommodate you in one mouthful, you briefly daydream about slipping into Sunny's depths.

>Glimmer made it seem so easy when she does it, but you have never seen Sunny devour anyone.

>Ever Apple Shine had a kid to herself last week.

>”You have to live, Anon.  We'll seek you out after all this blows over.  Alright?”

>Breaking out of your daydreamy state, you clear your throat to respond.

“Sunny, I highly doubt that if I start running now, I'll have any chance of escape.  Humanity has never had to deal with sentient creatures when taking over this rock.  And its not like we have magic at our disposal either”

>You pause to scratch your head and stare back at Sunny.

“Can't you persuade anyone in your troop that I'm useful?  I'm pretty sure my words would fall on deaf ears.”

>Sunny scrunches her nose in thought before giving a sigh.

>”Our group has has a zero-tolerance policy, only reason you're still with us is because no pony really knows you exist besides us.”

“So what makes you think I can be any more convincing?”

>She cringes at her earlier contradiction as a curtain of silence falls over both of you.

>”Can we not bring him back to Equestria with us?”

>Glimmer suddenly reappears in your doorway, eavesdropping on your conversation.

>”Its all chaotic and unsavory in this world, and Anonymous deserves much better than this.”

>As Sunny ponders this, you throw your arms up in the air as you raise your voice.

“Yes, because I think bringing me back to where there are hundreds of ponies will be the ultimate safe haven.”

>Apple Shine looks over to you to add to Glimmer's thoughts.

>”Not all ponies want to eat people.  We're only here because we're a bit rougher than most ponies back home.  You'd be safe there, especially if you come live with us!”

>Surprised at Apple Shine's outburst, you begin to consider their words.

>”Besides, we can have fun together!  I can even introduce you to my friends back home!”

>You chuckle a bit at her innocent outlook, and a genuine smile begins to form on your face.

>Glimmer grits her teeth before sighing dejectedly.

>”If only we could get him passed the guards of the portal... we are going back home tomorrow while they tidy up this world.”

>Her words put a damper on the mood as everyone looks to the floor for advice.

>You cross your arms in thought as you break the silence.

“Well, thinking on an empty stomach never created progress, so go help yourselves to the breakfast I set out.”

>Murmuring in agreement, they gather around Apple Shine as she has already helped herself.

>Glimmer stops as she notices something amiss.

>She levitates specific condiments in front of her.

>”Anon... why did you put ketchup out?  And oyster sauce?  Truly you did not mean these things for the salad?”

>Keeping your arms crossed, you stare hesitantly at Glimmer.

“You always said we were a little dry, and ketchup was always your guilty pleasure.”

>As both your eyes lock with each other for a moment, Glimmer unceremoniously drops the containers.

>”Anonymous... no, we could never do that to you.”

>You remain silent as you stare straight ahead.

>Sunny and Apple catch onto your plan as Glimmer inches towards you.

>”We have been such great friends in these past few days, we shared many a moment and loved every second of it, did we not?”

>You nod your head.

“Yes, it has been great, in fact, these past days were probably the best days of my life.”

>Glimmer now stands in front of you, mouth agape in wonder.

>”Then why would you think we would have the heart to put you away like every other human?”

>You muster up some courage before responding.

“Because I want to stay with my friends.”

>While your voice shakes a little, you continue.

“You tell me stories of Equestria, and how friendship is the magic that binds your entire world together.  While that isn't the case here, I was at least able to experience some of that magic.”

>You breathe slowly, trying to gather your thoughts for a meaningful last speech.

“Sure, prying open a man's eyes while he watches his wife and daughter disappear into a pony's gullet isn't exactly friendship, but the time we spent together really was great.”

>You have your arms rest on your sides as you sit up on the sofa.

“I want to go out on my own terms, not by some random pony that'll catch me running away like every other human.”

>Glimmer bites her lower lip as you give them one last piece of your mind.

“I want to go out by serving the friends that made life worth it, even for a little bit.”

>You stare into Glimmer's firey eyes before she turns to Sunny.

>”Is there anything you can think of Sunny?”

>Sunny, holding a plate full of greens looks over to Glimmer.

>”I say we take Anon's advice and have something to eat.  He made all this food and we're not going to brainstorm on an empty stomach.”

>Glimmer sulks for a bit before grabbing a plate of her own.

>As you sit on the couch, paralyzed in thought, Apple Shine takes up a spot on your lap once again.

>Sunny and Glimmer sit at your sides as they enjoy the last brunch you have set for them.

>With your friends at your side, you feel a bit more at peace.

>As your body settles down, you close your eyes, exhausted from this morning's activities.

>You lean onto Glimmer and let sleep overtake your conciousness.