Title:           Phil From Accounting
Author:          MrFluffyVegas
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/m3G35nGE
First Edit:      Thursday 21st of June 2012 10:43:40 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 21st of June 2012 10:43:40 PM CDT

>Come in to work on Monday
>Your job's pretty monotonous but you can't complain
>Get in, head to your desk, begin slacking off
>Typical day
>Head to water cooler to get some exercise when you notice a peculiar site
>At first glance it looks like a man, but on further inspection its clearly not
>It appears to be some... thing masquerading as a man
>You can see a skin like covering that moves like it doesn't fit right and while it appears to be talking its lips aren't moving
>In fact, you can hear multiple voices coming from within its 'body'
>"nee mak poopies"
>"when we ge nummies?"
>"fwuffy wan pway."
>"stop moving awound. you bwow fwuffies cover!"
>Confused, you approach the 'man'
Excuse me.
>The creature(s?) turns around to face you
>You can now see that its face looks like a macabre mask of a human face, with what look like some type of fluff coming out of its mouth
>"oh, hewwo fewwow hooman. i am awso a hooman. do you wanna do hooman stuff?"
>"pwease giv us skettis" a voice from around the 'man's' chest cries
>"shut up!" another voice from its neck sounds off
>You stand there dumbfounded by the sight before you
Who exactly are you?
>"oh, I am fwu- fiw er a phiw, fwom accoutin'. i jus stawted today. would you wike to be fwiends?"
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is just ridiculous. You're not a person.
>"yes we- I is- er am. phiw is hooman."
No, you're a bunch of fluffy ponies in a man suit.
>"fwuffy is here!" a voice from 'phil's' crotch cries
>"shut up! you bad fwuffy!" the neck fluffy scolds
>"fwuffy ponies? how widicuwous. i, wike aww hoomans, hate fwuffy ponies. watch."
>The fluffy-man shambles a bit before someone reaching into its pocket to produce a crude plush imitation of a fluffy pony
>It then proceeds to drop it on the ground and start stomping on it with its leg (which itself was simply a fluffy pony in a shoe, so the process did not actually cause much damage)
>"stoopid fwuffy! you usewess! hooman hate fwuffy! give big owwies!"
>You hear a few of the voices within the suit cry at the scolding of the (literal) head fluffy
>"wouwd you awso wike to hewp kiww bad fwuffy."
Uh, no. Look, this is just silly. Why don't you-
>"Anon my boy!" you are interrupted by the voice of your boss
>You turn around and stand at attention
Yes sir, I was just getting a drink.
>"Calm down son, I just wanted to introduce you to our new hire Phil. He's our newest accountant."
>"fiw good accountan'!"
>"Now, I want you to show Phil the ropes here Anon. Now get back to work both of you."
>"bye bye nice hooman!" 'phil' calls out as your boss walks away
Wat.