AiE Chapter 1: First Contact (Incomplete)

The wayward man of Earth, an Earth, but not ours, now dubbed "Anonymous", with the unusual surname of "Subject", resumed waiting in his cell, dreading contact with the wretched, girly ponies who took him to this world and kept him as their pet. So far he had only know five, three guards, a scientist and her demigoddess friend, and he hated all of them, though he hated her the least because she didn't talk down on him like her little toady Twilight did. Somehow he hated her even more than the guards who manhandled him and threw him into his prison, because he knew she was the reason he was in this predicament. As he sat with his head between his knees in a dim corner, at last his mistresses arrived, clad in surgical masks, the sight sending shivers down his spine.

Trying to ease the tension, he grumbled, "Did I catch a cold, mom?" Ironically, with the same sort of tone a distraught mother would take with an uppity child, Twilight replied,"No, but the guards who handled you did, mister smarty-pants." Together with the excessive consumption of sweets, bright colors, and her choice of words, they seemed like children, or something made for children anyway. But going back to the subject of spreading diseases, Anon couldn't help but be reminded of "War of the Worlds", and let out a little snicker at the thought that he was the one spreading the disease to alien soil, like a trans-dimensional Hernando Cortez.

"What exactly is so funny, Mr. Subject?" Celestia asked in that regal tone of hers. Something about it compelled him to answer, and not just with the usual "oh, nothing", but a legitimate answer.

"Oh, there's this story, and there are these aliens, they all take over the world but they die when they get native diseases, but now I'm the alien, you got the disease..." Seeing that she was clearly not amused, he cleared his throat and let them speak. "Well..." Twilight said, "We have to decontaminate you."

"Oh God." Celestia raised an eyebrow. "God? Whose god? God of what?" Celestia's seemingly innocent question struck a chord with Anon somewhere inside, and he already began to miss the varied religions of his home, and the promise of a benevolent God to watch over man. With a heavy sigh and a belligerent tone, he spat out "Never mind."

"So what are you gonna do to me? Pump me full of penicillin? Blast me with gamma rays? Wave a magic wand?" Twilight growled and said, "None of those things, funny boy! Just antibiotics."

"But penicillin is an antibiotic."

"What in Equestria is pen-Sicilian?" Celestia smirked at the clumsy cultural exchange, partially because she hadn't expected it to go well, but it did go far better than she had expected; She expected a furious herald of alien invasion, and instead found a harmless grouch.

Within the hour, Twilight had brought out a syringe filled with a solution of silver and other chemicals, an archaic disinfectant that went the way of the dodo when penicillin was invented. Like many, Anon hated needles, but only when they were drawing his blood; Otherwise he had no trouble, because he was something of a masochist. Unfortunate in the short term but very fortunate for him in the end, he was to be moved several miles by train to Twilight's personal laboratory in "Ponyville". Before leaving he asked if he could at least "play with the toys" in the warehouse, the joke going over their heads. Before loading him onto the train, he was put in a metal box, more of a sarcophagus than anything, a white metal capsule with a porthole from which he leered outwards, with diodes inside emitting an eery red glow. Twilight said it was to prevent infection, but to him it felt like a twisted bondage scenario. It would be a long time before he was removed from the box, as Twilight's lab was a mess and it took her days to set up the necessary equipment for his study. He did not starve or suffocate in the coffin, as it kept him in a sort of suspended animation. He guessed it was magic, and indeed it was. Strangely, his emergence was not of Twilight's doing, but a fateful accident.