Wizard Anon in Equestria pt. 5

You are Anonymous, and this situation has turned very sour, very quickly. The small purple unicorn has lowered her head, horn pointing strait at you, a mix of fear, anger, and confusion written across her face. You cautiously raise your hands, palms out, hoping the gesture translates across species.

 

"Applejack," Twilight says, not taking her eyes off of you, "I need you to go to Pinkie Pie. Tell her to find Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and hoof it back here as fast as they can." Oh lords, Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy? These names just keep getting better and better. You'd laugh, but you really don't want to spook the unicorn. From what you'd seen of Twilight's magic, her cutesy facade hid a considerable power. "Spike, you go inside and get Rarity, then head back to the library and retrieve the Elements."

 

Both the orange mare and the baby dragon begin to protest, but Twilight quickly cuts them off. "Now, guys!" As the two scurry off, you're left facing down the lavender pony. Play it cool, Anon, just play it cool.

 

"So... your princess..."

 

"Celestia," Twilight interjects.

 

"Right, Princess Celestia. She seems very... ummm..." you stammer as Twilight's eyes narrow. "Very cautious! I'm sure that's all it is, just a little caution." What if this Celestia knew about your status as a fugitive? No, there's no way. The Council could never get word out that quickly, and even if they could somehow communicate with wherever the hell you were, if you knew the Wardens, they were probably getting stonewalled by Titania right now. She never did like the Wardens, and she always liked you...

 

A brilliant fuschia glow surrounding Twilight's horn pulls you back to the present. Oh crap, that meant she was casting something. "Hey, come on now, no need for tha-" A flash of light cuts you off as you find yourself surrounded by a sparkling pink dome, the same color as Twilight's magical aura. What was this, some sort of imprisonment spell? Reaching out a hand, you cautiously attempt to pass through the barrier. It's solid, smooth like glass and slightly warm. Clever girl must have avoided casting against you directly, so as not to set off any of your wards. Still, to be able to erect such a barrier in so little time... there's definitely more to this unicorn than meets the eye.

 

"Is this really necessary?" you ask. Twilight doesn't respond. That's when you notice a second unicorn, this one white with an elaborately-styled purple mane, trotting out of the carousel-shaped boutique. She seems to be saying something, but you can't -wait, is that unicorn wearing makeup? Why yes, yes she is. Blue eye shadow, heavy mascara... that is one of the stranger things you've seen today, and you've seen a lot. But more importantly, you realize that she and Twilight are talking, and you can't hear a word of it.

 

Damn barrier must block sound. Did it also block air? You weren't going to stand around and find out. Fishing briefly in your satchel, you come up with a handful of salt. Good old reliable salt. A few words of arcane power, a quickly-traced rune of negation, and you toss the salt at the barrier. Silently, it dissolves.

 

That was much easier than you thought it'd be, actually. Twilight might possess a lot of natural power, but she apparently still needs some training. She and the white unicorn are still carrying on their conversation. "But Twilight, darling, I don't see what all the fuss is about," the made-up pony says. They aren't even paying attention to you. You could try to slip away, but... no, better play it cool. "I mean, the way Spike was carrying on I thought the whole of Ponyville had caught fire!"

 

Pointedly, you clear your throat. Slowly, the two unicorns turn to you. You hadn't thought their eyes could get get any wider. Neverously, you smile and wave. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream... they scream.

 

Or, to be more specific, the white one screams, then conjures a lavish couch from devils know where, and then promptly faints on it. Great.

 

For her part, Twilight only lets out a short yelp of surprise before she starts to stammer "H-how did you... how did you break my spell?" She's visibly shaken, but at the same time seems genuinely curious.

 

You shrug. "It wasn't exactly fortified against counterspelling." Now's probably not the best time to criticize Twilight's magic, so you put your hands up once more. "But look, I haven't run away, or tried anything... aggressive, right?"

 

Twilight nods. "I suppose not." The white pony, still reclining dramatically on her summoned sofa, peeks at you with one eye open.

 

"And I'm not planning on it, either." You smile, putting on your best friendly face. "So why don't we just set aside the magic prisons and talk this over like two rationa-" A rainbow streak comes rocketing through the air, leaving you only a split second to react before it collides with you. Reflexively, you call up an air shield evocation-

 

-Or at least, that's what you try to do. With a loud thunderclap, both you and the multiclolor blur are sent flying in opposite directions. You crash into the side of the boutique, hoping that the splintering sound is just the wooden walls buckling. You're getting awfully fucking sick of godsdamned ponyland fucking up your magic.

 

Head reeling, you stagger to your feat, struggling to catch your wind. Just in time to see that rainbow blast heading right back at you. Brace for impact!

 

"Stop it Dash!" you hear Twilight shout. Gingerly, you open your eyes. A cyan pony with a rainbow mane is suspended in the air, surrounded by the pink aurora of Twilight's magic. What's more, the little blue horse sports a pair of feathery wings. They look much too small to support its body in flight, but as it hangs there, it flaps them all the same.

 

The winged pony turns towards the purple unicorn. "Stand back, Twilight! I'm gonna show this monster how a pegasus fights!" You'd expect a pegasus to be much larger, but then, Twilight was smaller than any unicorn you'd met.

 

Twilight looks a bit exasperated. Thankfully, she doesn't let up with the telekinesis. "Rainbow Dash, this... errr, that is, HE isn't a monster. His name is Anonymous, and he's a human."

 

The pegasus, currently shadowboxing while hanging in the air, stops and eyes you suspiciously. "Oh yeah... well then... how come he LOOKS like a monster, huh?"

 

"Well I think Mister Nonymoose is kinda cute!" Pinkie Pie bounces cheerfully into view. "Don't you think so, Dashie?"

 

Rainbow Dash scoffs. "Y-yeah right! Like I'd ever think THAT about some weird alien!" Despite her protests, you notice she's blushing faintly. Just what you needed, a pony fanclub! Actually... given the current situation, maybe that was EXACTLY what you needed. At the least, it couldn't hurt to have a couple ponies in your corner when it came time to face the Princess Celestia.

 

You try to smile, but end up wincing in pain. Feels like you bruised a couple ribs; at least wizards were known to heal faster than non-practitioners: a day or two and you'd be right as rain. "So you're Rainbow Dash, then," you hold out a hand in greeting. "No hard feelings about the misfire there?"

 

Twilight releases her magical hold on Rainbow. The polychromatic pony hesitantly extends her own hoof. Oh right, no hands. "I guess not, so long as you promise not to cause trouble for my friends!"

 

You clench your outstretched hand into a fist and bump your knuckles against Dash's hoof. She nods approvingly. "You have my word."

 

"Ya'll outta know," starts Applejack, trotting into view, "that around these parts, givin' your word ain't somethin' tah be done lightly." You can see a bit of pink tail sticking out from a bush behind the orange pony. Must be the last one, you think to yourself. Flutteryquiet, was it? Guess he didn't want to be seen just yet.

 

Looking back to Applejack, you solemnly raise your right hand. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Miss Applejack. In the Nevernever-" the ponies look a bit lost, but you continue- "a wizard's word is his bond. And I give my word as wizard that I mean you no harm." You smile to yourself. That was very dignified, Anon. The ponies, even Applejack, look convinced.

 

Twilight is the first to speak up (you don't count Pinkie's cheerful humming here). "Well, I guess we should finish the introductions before the chariot from Canterlot arrives." Canterlot, really? You're starting to find these names just a little too coincidental.

 

"I guess you've already met Applejack-" the orange pony tips her hat, "-and Pinkie Pie-" the pink mare squeals in delight, "-and Rainbow Dash-" the blue pegasus nods, "-and Spike of course-" the baby dragon waves a clawed hand "-so that just leaves Rarity and..." Twilight pauses, looking around. "Has anypony seen Fluttershy?" You hear a nervous peep from the direction of the bushes, confirming your earlier suspicions. Probably best to start with the white unicorn, then.

 

Smiling, you step towards her. Rather gracefully, the marshmallow pony extends a single dainty hoof. Oh, you know just her type. Leaning down far enough to take the proffered hoof in your hand, you gently press your lips to it. "Such a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She titters girlishly, batting her large blue eyes at you. With the makeup, they look surprisingly human. "I'm terribly sorry about your boutique, though."

 

"Oh darling," Rarity begins. You notice that she also speaks with an accent, though quit different from Applejack's. "I really am just delighted to finally meet somepony that can act like a gentlecolt in front of a lady." Women... whether human, vampire, nymph, or pony, some were always the same. "Oh and don't worry about that mess, deary. Why, in just a moment..."

 

You notice a look of concentration pass over Rarity's face as her horn glows blue. Behind you there's a creaking sound, and the groaning of wood under stress. Glancing over, you see the dent left by your impact right itself, streamers and fabric settling into place as though the damage were never done. Seems this one's got some magical talent as well.

 

"There!" Rarity exclaims. "Good as new. Now then-" she turns to you, "we absolutely must discuss this wonderful fabric you're wearing." Looking down, you notice she's tugging at your bluejeans with a hoof. "Why, I've never seen anything quite like it!" Well, they were raw denim. No reason a wizard can't keep up with the times, after all.

 

"Rarity." Twilight sounds just a tad annoyed. "There'll be plenty of time for that AFTER our trip to Canterlot." A shame, you were starting to enjoy the marshmallow mare's fawning attention, even if Spike, who has returned with a rectangular wooden box, is giving you the stink eye. "Besides, Anonymous still hasn't met..." she looks back and forth, then rolls her eyes. "Fluttershy, it's okay. You can come out now."

 

From behind the bush, a yellow pony with a pink mane slowly emerges. You can see she has wings like Rainbow Dash, but unlike that boisterous pegasus, this Fluttershy seems to be focusing all her attention on a patch of ground directly in front of her feet. Oh lords of magic, they really weren't kidding when they gave this pony her name! "Oh... umm... hello..." she stammers.

 

Well, this wasn't going to be easy, but you're still determined to win these ponies over. They had to be important if their leader, Celestia, asked them to watch you personally, and from the sounds of it, you'd need any support you could get. You approach the saffron pegasus slowly, very slowly. "Hello Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you." Keep it quiet, Anon, keep it calm. You kneel beside her, gingerly extending a hand. "I hope that we can be... ummm... friends?"

 

The pony's ears perk up. Your reserved demeanor seems to be working. "Yes... yes! I would like that very much." Fluttershy nuzzles your open hand, and you can feel the cavities forming in your teeth. Anyway, it seems like you have at least one more pony to back you up in front of Celestia.

 

And not a moment too soon! The fanfare of trumpets sends Fluttershy scurrying back into the bushes, as Pinkie practically bubbles over with excitement and Rainbow puffs out her chest. Turning around, you watch a trio of ivory chariots, festooned with gems and filigreed with gold, land in the clearing next to the boutique. Each is pulled by a team of four armored pegasuses? ...pegasi? ...pegapodes? you know what? they're fucking winged horses...! all done up in gold and blue.

 

Another obviously more decorated pegasus disembarks from the lead chariot, lowering its trumpet. "Princess Celestia formally requests the presence of the alien creature called Anonymous, as well as the six Elements of Harmony, in Canterlot Castle. Immediately."

 

Welp, so much for warm welcomes.