Title:           Wizard Anon in Equestria pt. 3
Author:          Mistah_Kurtz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/bNqtVjFC
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of October 2013 07:54:39 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of October 2013 07:54:39 AM CDT

You are Anonymous, and you're still a damn fine spellslinger, even if you are now officially considered a warlock. You had broken the First Law, "Thou shalt not kill by use of magic." Really though, it was a special circumstance. Not that the Council would have believed you.
 
More importantly, though, you have your speech again, thanks to the small violet unicorn standing in front of you. Oh sweet speech! You want to cheer a bit, but now's not the time for that. Now is serious time, first-contact-with-a-new-otherworldly-entity time. So instead you nod politely.
 
"That's much better, thank you." The little purple unicorn smiles and...blushes? Yep, she blushes. It's absolutely adorable. "I'm impressed by your command of magic, Miss Twilight, is it?"
 
"Y-yes, of course," she stammers, still grinning sheepishly. "I mean, umm, I mean you're welcome. And thank you! And yes!" She seems a little flustered. Better play it cool, Anon.
 
"I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Anonymous, wiza- errr...former wizard." You extend a hand.
 
Twilight looks at it, then up at you, then back at your hand, then back to you, clearly confused. "It's...uhh...nice to meet you, Mr. Anonymous Former Wizard."
 
You chuckle, withdrawing the hand. "Just Anonymous is fine." Looking around, you notice that the orange horse who brought you here has gone missing. "I suppose Miss Applejack told you how she found me?"
 
Now it's Twilight's turn to laugh, a quiet girlish giggle. "You don't have to be so formal, Anonymous. Applejack told me about you falling down into her apple seeds. If you don't mind me asking, where did you come from?"
 
You scratch the back of your head, trying to look innocent. "Right, in the barn. I was...umm...just resting in the loft. I'm not exactly from around here, and I didn't think anybody would might if I got a little sleep in the hay."
 
Twilight nods. "Well, if you'd asked, I'm sure Applejack would have let you stay indoors. She's not one to turn anypony away." Any...pony? Sure, you could roll with that. "But what I really meant was, where did you COME FROM?" She eyes you up and down. "I've never seen any creature like you before."
 
You could believe it. There were sure to be some parts of the Nevernever that no human had ever visited. Come to think of it... "Well, I'm from a different realm. Maybe if you can tell me where in the Nevernever I am, I could-" Twilight looks at you, uncomprehending. "You know, are we in any of the Faerie lands, Elysium maybe...?" Still nothing. "...Hell?" Nope.
 
You sigh, rubbing your temples. Okay, this wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. "Well, what do you...horses call this place?"
 
Twilight huffs, looking indignant. "I'm not a HORSE, I'm a pony, and right now you're in the kingdom of Equestria." It takes all your effort to stifle a laugh.
 
Equestria? Of course a land of talking horses would be called Equestria. But it wasn't a place you'd ever heard of. "Alright, well...what's near Equestria?" You almost lose it just saying the name out loud. Equestria, bloody brilliant.
 
Fortunately, Twilight isn't paying attention. Instead, she's racing around the room, snatching books and scrolls via telekinesis and laying out maps all over the table. "Well, bordering Equestria is the Crystal Empire, and the Griffon Kindgoms, and there's the Mild West, and..." She seems to be bursting with energy as she points a hoof from place to place on the maps. None of the shapes are familiar. None of the names ring a bell. You feel a sinking in your stomache as you realize that you really haven't the slightest idea where you are.
 
---
 
Twilight had SO MANY questions. What kind of creature you were. Where you were from. What kind of magic you knew. What your hometown was like. How many friends you had.
 
You'd made a deal with her. For every question you answered, she had to answer one of yours. The results were not encouraging. She didn't know anything about the Nevernever. Nothing about any crossings to the mortal world. Her magic was totally different from yours, and she had no idea why your spells seemed to be going awry here.
 
One name that kept coming up was Celestia. Princess Celestia, to be specific. Apparently she was the most powerful magic-user and ruler of Equestria. "Do you think," you asked Twilight, during a lull in the interrogation, "That I might be able to meet your Princess Celestia?"
 
Twilight's eyes grew very large and very round. "Omigosh omigosh I totally didn't think about that of course you should meet Celestia and she'll want to meet you too just let me send a letter and- SPIIIIIIKE!" she suddenly shouts.
 
"Who's Spike?" you ask. "Another hor....errrrr pony?"
 
Twilight shakes her head. "No silly, Spike is my assistant. He's a dragon."
 
Dragon. Did she say dragon? She said dragon. Shit shit shit. You rocket to your feet, trying at once to recall every defensive enchantment you knew. A dragon, here? You didn't want to die! You were too young to die! There was still so much you had to do!
 
Seeing your panicked reaction, Twilight laughs. "Don't worry, Anonymous. Spike is just a BABY dragon." A...baby...dragon? You didn't even think dragons had babies. Hell, you didn't think much at all about dragons, except to stay as far away from them as possible.
 
Much to your surprise, the creature that stumbles drearily down the stairs looks quite a bit like a...well, like a baby dragon. Purple and green, with a round face and an even rounder belly, it looked as harmless as the ponies. "Yeah, yeah, what do you want Twilight?" It's voice sounded like an adolescent boy's.
 
"Spike, I need you to take a letter to Princess Celestia," Twilight says, giving the baby dragon a stern look. The little thing begins to turn toward a shelf when it suddenly seems to realize that you're standing there across the table from the unicorn.
 
His eyes narrowing, Spike rushes over to Twilight, bowling her out of the way. "Don't worry, Twilight!" he exclaims, pointing a single clawed digit in your direction. "I'll protect you from this...this...monster!"
 
You hold very, very still. Even if Spike was a baby dragon, he was apparently still a DRAGON, which meant that he could probably kill you with half a thought. There weren't many things that scared you, but dragons? Everyone was scared of dragons. You reckoned even Queen Mab wouldn't take an encounter with a dragon lightly, and she was probably the most powerful being you knew. Well, not 'knew' knew. Not like, personally. But you'd met her, at that one courtly reception. Titania had introduced you. To think, you might never get to gaze upon the Summer Queen again...
 
Twilight's soft laughter snaps you back to the present. "Oh Spike," she starts, "Anonymous here isn't a monster, he's a hyu-mann." Nervously, you smile at the little dragon, hoping it doesn't decide to incinerate you on the spot. "And what's more," the purple unicorn continues, "he's my guest. Now could you PLEASE take that letter to the princess?"
 
Spike eyes you warily. He's very small, little like the dragons of legend. Looking at him now, he's actually quite...well, quite cute. But you know that appearances can be deceiving, and that dragons can appear as anything they wish.
 
Apparently finished giving you the stink eye, Spike gathers up parchment and quill from a nearby shelf. "If you say so, Twilight." It looks like you were going to see another day after all.
 
"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight begins dictating. "Today I met a very strange pon- I mean, person." Spike scratches out the error with the quill. "He says that he is a hyu-mann-" she still doesn't pronounce it right "-from a different world, who came here with a magic spell. It seems that he is from very far away, and doesn't know where Equestria is. Even though he looks very different, I can tell that he has a good heart." Wow, this got saccharine awfully fast. "He would also like very much to meet you. I know that you can help this hyu-mann find his way home. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
 
Spike rolls the parchment up, holding it in front of his face triumphantly. Then, with a belching sound, a gout of pale green flame bursts from his mouth, instantly reducing the letter to nothing. Adjusting to magic in Equestria was going to be...interesting.