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Apple Bloom on Earth (Parts 21-25)

By: MinecraftMan1 on Mar 22nd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.37 KB  |  hits: 38  |  expires: Never
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  1. Parts 16-20: http://pastebin.com/FBMmGTLG
  2.  
  3. ---
  4.  
  5. "Oh, just a game of Australian Rules Football," I replied.
  6.  
  7. I looked to my right. The filly was sitting next to me, watching the screen. The players lined up and the national anthem began to play.
  8.  
  9. "Is it lahk soccer?" Apple Bloom asked.
  10.  
  11. "Only a bit," I replied. "The ball can be controlled with the hands, but the only way to transport the ball is by kicking it or by punching it out of your hand, or handballing it."
  12.  
  13. The camera began to film past all of the Gold Coast footballers. They all had their hands behind their backs. The lady on the track had reached "our land abounds in nature's gifts" by the time the camera had finished filming the Suns side, and the Melbourne players were suddenly being filmed on the television.
  14.  
  15. "Hey Anon, wut's th' song?"
  16.  
  17. "That's our country's national anthem. All the countries in the world, or at least most of them, have their own anthems, cities and flags," I replied. The anthem ended, generating a loud cheer from the fans. The siren sounded and the players dispersed from their lines to get into their positions. A few players huddled up to have a team talk about their game plans. The siren sounded again, and the huddles broke up. The Melbourne players all lined up onto their Gold Coast opponents. The siren sounded for a third time, and the game got underway.
  18.  
  19. ---
  20.  
  21. The umpire in the middle bounced the ball. Two ruckmen, one from either side, tried to punch the ball to their players. The Melbourne ruckman knocked it out to a midfielder, who got the ball into their forward line with a long drop punt.
  22.  
  23. "Okay Anon, ah can proudly say that ah'm really confused," Apple Bloom deadpanned.
  24.  
  25. "That really isn't surprising," I replied. I began to explain how the game was vastly different. I spent a good 10 minutes explaining the scoring, the length of the game and how the AFL works in general. During this time, Melbourne scored three goals to take an eighteen point lead.
  26.  
  27. "Ah think ah'm gettin' th' hang of this, but which team is which?" the filly asked.
  28.  
  29. "The team in the red and yellow are the Gold Coast, the team in the red and blue are Melbourne. The latter team is the one I support," I replied.
  30.  
  31. "Oh, also, why do they have numbers on th' backs of the shirt thangs?"
  32.  
  33. "It's used for identification and statistics. Each player has their own number so the commentators know who's who."
  34.  
  35. "Ah dunno anypony though."
  36.  
  37. "Don't worry, I'll quickly print out a list of players and their numbers. Also, this might be helpful, but we say 'body' instead of 'pony' on Earth."
  38.  
  39. I got up off the floor, sat down at the computer and accessed the AFL website. I brang up the match centre and dragged the scroll button down to where the team list was. Pressing Print Screen, I opened up MS Paint and pasted it into the canvas. After printing the image out, I walked back to where Apple Bloom was sitting and put the paper down on the floor in front of her.
  40.  
  41. ---
  42.  
  43.  
  44. "Ah reckon that 'Mark Jammer' human is really strong!"
  45.  
  46. "Why does 'Gar-eye Ayblet' get th' ball so much?"
  47.  
  48. "Why is th' umpire human lookin' at 'Mitch-ayul Rishytelli's' number?"
  49.  
  50. It was cute how she mispronounced the names of many players, made even better by the southern twang in her voice. I corrected her whenever she did, and she appreciated it very much.
  51.  
  52. Two hours later, the game ended. Melbourne had taken full control of the game and defeated the Gold Coast by 74 points. Rischitelli had been reported for giving a coathanger to Colin Sylvia, or 'Co-line Sile-viya' as Apple Bloom had pronounced it.
  53.  
  54. I looked at the clock. It was 5:20pm. There would be more AFL games to come, but now was the time to teach Apple Bloom about the world. To start off with, I'd teach her about the countries.
  55.  
  56. I went over to my bookshelf and got out a large atlas.
  57.  
  58. "Hey Anon, what're ya'll gonna read?" Apple Bloom asked.
  59.  
  60. "It's an atlas, Apple Bloom. It maps out the entire world," I replied eagerly. I opened the book to a map of the world, showing every country that existed today.
  61.  
  62. Apple Bloom was genuinely interested. There were so many countries according to the book. She tried to count them in her mind but got lost after 24. She found the one she was most familiar with: Australia.
  63.  
  64. ---
  65.  
  66. "Hey Anon, ah found 'Or-strahlia!'" Apple Bloom chirruped with glee, pointing her hoof to the country.
  67.  
  68. "Yep, that's the one," I replied. "In fact, let's zoom in on it."
  69.  
  70. I flicked past a few more pages to the Australian States. The page provided great detail of the towns and cities of Australia. I pointed to the small country town I lived in. "That's where I live," I explained.
  71.  
  72. "Ooh, there are so many names," the filly replied, looking closely at some of the funny ones, like 'Koo Wee Rup'. "Ah have a question, how big is th' world?"
  73.  
  74. "Well, let's put it this way. Our Earth is the shape of a sphere. You know how long a metre is, right?" I explained.
  75.  
  76. "...ah dunno wut a metre is," she replied. Huh, I guess measurements are different in Equestria.
  77.  
  78. I tried to think of an example. The little light in my head went off as soon as I had one. "Apple Bloom, your height is roughly a metre from hoof to the tip of your bow," I replied.
  79.  
  80. "Uh-huh, ah got it," the filly replied.
  81.  
  82. "Now, imagine one thousand of those metres. That's called a kilometre" I explained.
  83.  
  84. Apple Bloom imagined herself being cloned and stacked up. It would be a really tall stack of Apple Blooms.
  85.  
  86. "Wow, that really long," Apple Bloom replied in awe.
  87.  
  88. "You think? Now imagine another forty five THOUSAND of those kilometres. That's how long the Earth is if you travelled around it in a straight line,"
  89.  
  90. Apple Bloom's mind began to hurt at the idea of many thousands of Apple Bloom stacks being stacked on each other.
  91.  
  92. "Anon, all ah can say is...thayut's so cool."
  93.  
  94. ---
  95.  
  96. Apple Bloom put all this metre and kilometre stuff behind her and asked some questions.
  97.  
  98. "Anon, how many countries are there?"
  99.  
  100. "At last count, about 210 of them," I replied. "Some countries are really huge, like Russia over here. At its widest, Russia is 6200 kilometres wide."
  101.  
  102. I flicked back to the world map and pointed to the very large landmass at the top of the page. "There are also countries that are very small, such as the Vatican City, which is only a kilometre wide at its widest point."
  103.  
  104. I pointed to the city of Rome, in Italy. "The Vatican City is actually so small you can't see it on the world map."
  105.  
  106. ---