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Three Stupid Shorts

By: Mayclore on May 28th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.09 KB  |  hits: 559  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Get home from work.
  2. >Find your blue fluffy unicorn on her back in her safe room, staring at the ceiling.
  3. >Wait, not staring.  Her eyes are glassy.
  4. >Her legs jut stiffly up into the air.
  5. >Is she dead?
  6. >She feels sort of lukewarm.
  7. >You don't understand what could have happened.
  8. >She looks to be in perfect condition, other than being so still.
  9. >You sigh.  You really loved her, even if she was a fuzzy moron.
  10. “Oh Periwinkle, you poor thing...”
  11. >She perks up the moment you utter her name.
  12. >”Daddy home!  Pewawinka miss daddy!”
  13. >You blink as she hugs your leg tightly and starts babbling.
  14. >Your fluffy pony was in standby mode.
  15. -----
  16. >Time for dinner.
  17. >You look down at your orange fluffy pegasus.
  18. “What shall we eat, fluffy pony?”
  19. >”Fwuffy wan' paseg...fwuffy wan' swaweb...fwuffy wan' gasedwee...”
  20. >Your fluffy pony spends the next hour attempting to pronounce 'spaghetti'.
  21. >”Fwuffy wan' saweghee!  Fwuffy wan' wawegsi!”
  22. >She finally wears herself out and falls asleep, forgetting she was even hungry in the first place.
  23. -----
  24. >Have a yellow male earth fluffy.
  25. >He's the sweetest pet you've ever owned.
  26. >Always behaves.  Doesn't bother you when you ask him not to.  Loves you unconditionally.
  27. >Unfortunately, he's begun eating his own turds.
  28. >Time in the sorry box has had no effect.
  29. >Light spankings have failed.
  30. >Telling him that eating his shit is bad for him makes no difference.
  31. >One day, you catch him dropping a load in the living room.
  32. >As usual, he turns around and chows down on it.
  33. “Fluffy!  Why do you keep doing this?  Doesn't it taste horrible?”
  34. >”Bwown nummies tas' yummies!  Fwuffy wuv!  Fwuffy gif some to daddy!”
  35. >He picks up a log in his mouth and brings it to you.
  36. “I don't want this, fluffy.”
  37. >”Twy!  Nummies yummies!”
  38. >You sigh, going to the kitchen to get a paper towel.
  39. >As you bend down to pick it up, you notice the smell is different.
  40. >You pick it up and take a wary sniff.
  41. >What the hell?  It smells like chocolate.
  42. >It begins melting on the paper towel.
  43. >It IS chocolate.
  44. >Your fluffy is so sweet, he's started to excrete candy.
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