Title:           The Fluffy Factory: Damn That Letter
Author:          Mayclore
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/X7MDcqMC
First Edit:      Sunday 10th of June 2012 06:02:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 10th of June 2012 06:02:18 PM CDT

>Another day, another dollar.
>Well, a lot of dollars, to be fair.
>Regardless, even in this baby-spewing purgatory are there moments of levity.
>Tiffany is shaving and examining a new arrival, a white unicorn with a red mane.
>You've given her the name Peppermint.  She's a real sweetheart.
>”Pwease no take Peppamin' fwuff!”
>Super sad puppy eyes.
>Tiffany, being Tiffany, is immune to this display.
>She's been a lot mellower lately, though.
>Ripping that poor grey unicorn's spine out of his body to put Tundra in her place seems to have calmed her down again.
>”Pwease hooman, nee' fwuff, fwuff make wawm!”
>”Shut up before I bring my wrath down upon you.”
>Peppermint blinks for a few seconds.
>“Waff?  Hee hee hee hee?”
>You walk over from the cages to get a better view of this.
>”No, wrath, not laugh.”
>”Waff waff?” Peppermint begins giggling nervously, thinking it'll save her fluff.
>”No, WRATH.  Laugh is not wrath.”
>”Waff no waff?  But waff waff!”
>Tiffany puts the shaver down.  You can almost see the vein in her forehead twitching.
>”Say 'laugh'.”
>”Waff!”
>”Now say 'wrath'.”
>”W-waff?”
>”Now say 'raft'.”
>”Wa...waff?”
>”Now say, 'laugh raft wrath'.”
>”Waff waff waff!”
>Tiffany looks at you with half-lidded blue eyes.
>”You've gotta be fucking kidding me.”
>All you can do is shrug.
>Tiffany looks back down at a confused Peppermint.
>”Say waff an' waff an' waff, gif fwuff now pwease?”
>”Say 'read'.”
>”Wead!”
>Suddenly, Tiffany smirks.
>”Now say 'weed'.”
>”Peppamin' jus' say wead...”
>”No, you said read.”
>”Wead!”
>”Now say weed.”
>”Bu'...bu' jus' say wead!  Say wead wike hooman wan'!”
>”No, you said read.”
>”Wead!”
>”Now say weed.”
>”...Peppamin' say wead, why make say wead 'gain?  No suwe...haf head owwies...”
“Okay, that's enough.”
>Tiffany cackles lightly while she finishes trimming Peppermint.
>The confused unicorn holds her head and whines, saying 'read' repeatedly.
>Or is she saying weed...
>Whatever. Since Steve is down here now, it's lunchtime for you.
>Tiffany sends an inquiry along as you head up.
>After you shed the jumpsuit and don your street clothes, you wander through the offices until you find Sarah.
“Hey, Tiffany wants to ask you something about breeding.”
>She looks skeptical, folding her arms.  “This should be good.  What?”
>You quote:
“'Can we find a way to breed these fuckers to pronounce the letter 'r', please?'”