Title:           Sunny Gardens: Insert Tab A Into Slot B
Author:          Mayclore
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Rk4VTZUN
First Edit:      Sunday 22nd of July 2012 03:10:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 22nd of July 2012 03:10:06 PM CDT

>Berry and Lightning are unlike any fluffy ponies you've ever encountered.
>When Sarah dropped you off, they waddled in behind you, carrying their little bags.
>Once you set them into the play pen, they unpacked.
>Literally.  They picked a corner for their toys and unpacked their bags.
>When that was done, they started cuddling and cooing to each other.
>”Dis nice home fo' Bewwy, Bewwy wike.  Bewwy happy bes' fwiend eva' hewe.”
>”Wightnin' happy too.  Bewwy happy, mean Wightnin' happy.”
>They are so much like little kids.
>God, this is going to be weird.  Slate wasn't this smart.
>You check the binder again.
>Since you want to get them settled in first before attempting to make them...ahem, you had Sarah make a stop at the store to get their favorite treats.
>Berry loves raspberries.  Probably where she got her name.
>Lightning loves cheese.  Cheddar cheese.  Extra sharp.
“Are you hungry?”
>They nod quietly, breaking their embrace and waddling over to the mesh side.
>”Wucy mommy gif nummies?” Berry asks.
>You reach into the shopping bag, plucking a raspberry out.
“This is for you!”
>She tentatively reaches up and gets it, waddling away and chewing.
>For Lightning, he gets a cheddar cheese stick.  You couldn't find extra sharp.
>He takes it and eats with Berry.
>You hear whispers of 'goo' nummies' and 'yummies make tummy happy', but they seem nervous for some reason.
>Once they're done eating, they sit side by side and stare up at you.
“Uh...what's wrong?”
>Berry speaks up.  ”Wucy wan' fwuffies make fun huggies now?”
>Whoa whoa whoa wait a minute.
“No, I was just giving you a treat.”
>They look very confused.
>”When daddy gif bes' nummies, a'ways say fwuffies make fun huggies den,” Lightning explains.
>”Fwuffies make huggies now,” Berry nods.
>She waddles to the center of the pen and drops down.
>More accurately, her front half drops down.  Her rear end, tail raised, is standing up.
>Lightning wanders over, nuzzling at her fluff.
>”Make bes' huggies,” he coos.
“Uh, wait a second...”
>They both look up at you and blink.
>”Make fun huggies now, wike Wucy wan'!” Berry chirps.
“I didn't want you to, though.”
>They blink again, their looks becoming uncertain.
>”Wucy no wan' fwuffies make babehs?”
>At the mention of babies, Berry begins to sniffle.
>”Miss babehs, wan' babehs back, Bewwy wuv babehs...”
>Lightning hugs her rear end – not in a mount – but still looks up at you for confirmation.
“Well, yes, I do...”
>”Wightnin' weady!” he says, changing his caring hug to a determined mounting.
>Berry squeaks with surprise, but closes her eyes tightly and waits.
“No, not right now!”
>Lightning dismounts and walks around to Berry's left side.
>”Wucy gif tweat!  Tweat mean fun huggies, make babehs!”
>”Baaaaabehs...” Berry whines.
>You look at the binder notes again.
>Nowhere in the pages does it say 'cheese and raspberries means fuck time'.
>You're actually going to have to explain how things work now.
“When I want you to make...uh...fun huggies, I'll tell you.  Right now, I just want you to get used to your new home.”
>Lightning is still mounted to his mate, but not thrusting.  Berry is waiting for him to start.
>”Weggies huwt...make huggies pwease, Bewwy wan' pway...”
>”Eenf!”
>Lightning does as she wishes, and begins thrusting.
“Stop that!”
>He does, looking utterly bewildered.
>”Bu' is fun huggies time!”
“It is not fun huggies time until I say it is!”
>They both start trembling at your accidentally too strong tone.
>Berry stands up and clings to Lightning.  They both look at you with terrified eyes.
>Facepalm and sigh.
“I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry.”
>”Wucy wan' babehs, bu' no wan' babehs?” Lightning asks timidly.
“I do want babies, but later.”
>”Babehs...no' wan' now?  Babehs...” he struggles.
>Looks like alicorns, despite their intelligence, still have issues with the concept of time.
>At least, time not related to baby-making.
>Perhaps it'd help if you put it into a command form.
>That should appeal to their training...if they have any.
“When I want babies, I'll tell you.  Okay?”
>They relax a little and nod.  “Wucy say if wan' babehs.  Okay,” Berry confirms.  “Can pway now?”
“Sure, go play.”
>Berry squeals happily and dashes unsteadily over to her blocks.
>”Bwockies fun!  Wuv bwockies!”
>Lightning is still looking at you, plopped down on his haunches and fluttering his wings restlessly.
>”Daddy say gif tweat, den make fun huggies...”
“That's nice, but I'm not your daddy.  I'm going to take things slow.”
>”Wha' tings?  Whewe take?  Wucy...Wucy take fwuffies 'way?”
“No, it's a figure—never mind.”
>Oh, screw it.  Half the people you meet don't understand how English works, no way these fluffies will.
>”Wha' figuwe?  Figuwe nummies?  Figuwe new fwiend?”
>Berry looks back.  “New fwiend?  Whewe is?  Wan' huggies an' pway!”
>They spend the next couple of moments shouting for Figure, their non-existent new friend.
>So much for the 'increased intelligence' of the alicorn.
>”No can fin' new fwiend Figuwe, Figuwe no wan' pway wif fwuffies,” Berry sniffles.
“There is no figure, Berry.”
>”Bu' Wucy say figuwe!  Wha' figuwe mean, if no new fwiend?”
“It's just a word, don't worry about it.”
>”Bu'...dunno wha' mean...”
>Oh great, they're curious and only mostly sentient.
>You sit down at the desk and sigh a little, rubbing your forehead.
>”Wucy haf owwies?” Berry asks.
>And perceptive!  Wonderful.
“I'm okay, go on and play with your blocks.”
>Berry does just that, tossing them to Lightning with her stubby legs.  He tosses them back.
>”Bwockies fwy!  Fwy fun!” they giggle.
>You watch them play.  Yes, it's incredibly cute.
>It's human child cute.
>Sarah really expects you to make these things have sex, produce kids, and then sell them?
>They call you by name!
>They have actual longer-than-goldfish attention spans!
>”Bewwy wuv Wightnin', bes' fwiend!  Pway bwockies, haf fun!”
>And they're a god damn couple!
>Another sigh.  A longer one.
>The happy fluffies don't really notice.
>You try to distract yourself with your laptop, but only about twenty minutes pass.
>”Wucy hooman?” Lightning calls, waddling to the mesh wall nearest your chair.
>Berry has cut the game short, quietly saying 'make goo' peepees in wittabocks' as she does her business there.
>You swivel in your chair to face the electric blue alicorn.
“What is it, sweetie?”
>”Bewwy no wan' pway anymo'.  Is make babeh time wike Wucy say now?”
>Facepalm again.
“No, Lightning...”
>It hasn't even been four hours, and you're already missing dumber fluffy ponies.