- >Middle of December.
- >Cold as all hell.
- >Got a fire going in the fireplace in the living room.
- >You have one of those rare, monotone earth fluffy ponies. She's all white with icy blue eyes.
- >She likes to watch the fire, but she sits back a few feet and babbles nervously every once in a while.
- >Suddenly, you get an idea.
- >She's been a very good fluffy lately, so you want to make her a treat.
- “Stay right here while I go into the kitchen, okay?”
- >”Okay, daddy! I watchin' fiuh!”
- >You rummage through the cabinets to make sure you have everything you need.
- >You bring the stuff back into the living room and sit fairly close to the fireplace.
- >”Daddy, fiuh bad! No get huwt!”
- “Don't worry, I'll be okay.”
- >She looks very worried, but nods when you reassure her.
- >She comes over to sniff at the food sitting beside you. “Wha dis?”
- “I'm going to make you a special nummie.”
- >Tremendous excitement. She jumps around happily, waving her tail. “Wuv daddy! Wuv nummies! Wha kind nummies?”
- “They're called s'mores.”
- >She lands and instantly looks confused. “Wha dat?”
- >You smile at her while you explain.
- “You take two graham crackers, a bar of chocolate...”
- >”Wuv chocwate! Chocwate best nummies!” she blurts out, jumping in circles again.
- >You wave your hand to get her attention. She falls down on her rear and blinks.
- “The best part is...”
- >She leans forward with anticipation, nearly falling on her face.
- >You show her the bag of marshmallows.
- >She's never had any before, and tilts her head. “Wha dem?”
- ”These are marshmallows. We take them, put them on a stick and roast them in the fire. Then we...”
- >You don't get the chance to finish.
- >Your fluffy runs around frantically, screaming at the top of her lungs.
- >”Mawsmewwa sowwy! No wan' fiuh! No mean be bad! Sowwy! Sowwy!” she yells, skittering in panicked circles.
- >When you reach over to try and pet her, she unleashes a torrent of fearful shit.
- >Then she waddles off as fast as her stubby hooves will allow.
- >She's still shitting.
- >She leaves a trail of brown on your hardwood floor, all the way back to her safe room.
- >”Pwease no woast! No wan' fiuh! No wan'! Mawsmewwa sowwy! Mawsmewwa sowwy!”
- >God damn it, you knew you should have named her Snowball.
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