BiE 85: Strangled Me with Science.

=BiE 85=

 

>Year 2204 in Equestria.

>The Broken Leylands.

>Mother fucking summer.

>You hated summer.

>You especially hated summer in the sea of sand and heat that was past the Appelosian desert.

>You looked down at the valley below.

>According to Anon, leylines are supposed to glow pink at almost all times.

>Not this one, this one just looked like dirt and dust.

>But then again, you were here to fix that.

>The camp around you was a bustle of activity.

>You watched as everything from P0ny to Zebra to Griffin was carrying out their tasks.

>Made sense, everybody wanted this project to succeed.

>Some Zebras were fumbling with one of the battery charges.

>You holler at them in their native tongue as they scurry back to work.

>"Since when did you speak Zebra?" Anon asked from the desk behind you.

>"Since Celestia decided that I was apparently her number one choice for dicey diplomatic sessions."

 

>You turn to look at him.

>"It helps to know when somep0ny is calling you an ass."

>Anon rolls his eyes as he pours over the paper in front of him. "I'm sure you heard it often enough."

>You walk up to the desk and look at the blueprints on it.

>"Less then you think, explain to me again why we're setting mana batteries to explode out here in the middle of nowhere?"

>Anon does some math on the side of his paper. "Because, we're going to re-ignite this ley line for the good of the planet and send more power to Canterlot?"

>"To power your pet project. Do you even have a name for that hunk of junk?"

>"Annoying Brother?"

>You scoff.

>"Two hundred years of working on it and he can't even come up with a proper name."

>"Hey, this is complex magic. I fuck this thing up and I send Equestria into an ice age. Not too much time to brainstorm names."

>You roll your eyes and go back to overlooking the workers.

 

>"Okay, I get the why. But how is a bunch of mana-bombs supposed to help?"

>Anon steps away from the desk and points you over the horizon.

>"It's simple really. This leyline got severed from the leyline about a thousand or so miles to the North thousands and thousands of years ago, probably because the magical flow just changed course."

>Anon points to the charges. "What we're going to do, is set off these charges via radio signal in succession, that'll hopefully simulate a proper mana flow and link this one back up with the main line."

>"And if it fails?"

>Anon sighs. "Then I'll have wasted the last eighty years."

>Not like you didn't have the time.

>"And it'll explode."

>Anon winces and half turns to you. "There...might be a -slight- chance of a backfire, but that's less than a thousandth of a percent."

>"But it could still happen..."

>He gives a nervous chuckle. "What's science without risk?

>The radio back at Anon's desk beeps and calls the two of you back to it.

>Anon picks it up and holds it to his head. "A-huh. Alright. Perfect! Get everyone back to minimum safe distance and we can get this going!"

>Anon looks up at you with the smile of a kid on Christmas.

>"Don't break my continent."

 

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLOkc9MwFHs-

>You walk back to the main control tent with Anon practically skipping ahead of you.

>He ran into the control tent and began checking readouts and flipping on machines in the back.

>"All stations checking in?" He asked.

>An assistant spoke up. "Yes sir, everyp0ny is online."

>"Capacitors set to handle any feedback?"

>"Check, sir."

>"And how's our bleed?"

>"Within .01%."

>"Good, good..."

>This was all a bit mad science-y...

>"Alright! Green across the board! Mister Steele, give me master control!" Anon said.

>The stallion in question fiddled with his instruments. "Ready, sir."

>Anon moves to a large red lever at the end of the tent. "Alright, everyp0ny! Moment of truth! Be ready to report any back-ups!"

>Anon grips the lever with both hands and yanks it back as hard as he can.

 

>A series of lights and beeps emit from a nearby machine.

>Anon runs over to it. "Alright, we're about halfway across the sea. Stay frosty everyp0ny..."

>You walk up to him. "Is sea bad?"

>"Sea was where we had to fashion mana depth charges. They've been down there a while, and if they have any leaks, it's game over man."

>Brilliant...

>"Sir, we have hit land."

>You watched as the lights on the machine traveled ever further inland.

>After a minute of watching, Anon jumped up. "We should be close enough for a front row view now!"

>With that he ran out of the tent.

>Towards the encroaching explosion.

>"Anon! Dammit, that's what I do!"

>You chased Anon out to where his desk was set up.

>You could see the cloud of dust off in the distance as the batteries detonated.

>"Anon, this isn't safe."

>"It's fine, I accounted for everything..."

>Dammit, he wasn't listen-

>Your thoughts are interrupted as the mana batteries at the start of the Ley Lands began to detonate and sent shockwaves through the ground.

>The rest follow shortly thereafter, sending up clouds of dust that can probably be seen from home.

>You can barely breath in this.

>"Anon! *cough* Anon!" You choke out.

>You wander through the dust until you find him exactly where he had been standing.

>As the dirt clears, you see another sight.

>The ground below you was glowing an ever steadying pink.

>You can see Anon grinning from ear to ear. "Haha! It worked!" He shouted as he jumped in the air.

>He grabbed you by the shoulders. "It worked!"

>With that he was off back to the tent. "How're we looking?"

>"We have steady magic flow in all checkpoints, sir."

>Anon looked back to you beaming.

>You sigh.

>"Yes, yes, you fixed the planet. Can we go home now?"

 

>The two of you sat on the main deck of the Delphinus.

>You were busy pouring sand and dust out of your clothes while Anon sat next to you in silent wonder at the events of the day.

>This silence was irritating.

>"If you ever get this much sand in me again..."

>Anon sighs. "Can't hear ya. Too wrapped up in the moment."

>Heh. It was quite the feat...

>You looked out across the plains and mountains of the Mild West.

>The sun bobbed in the sky for a moment before it went that final distance across the horizon.

>Over all your years, you had begun to notice the tells when Celestia lowered the sun.

>One step closer...

>"Well, now that my day is more or less over. I guess I have to think of something fun to do."

>Anon perks up at that. "Hey I heard something you may like."

>"Oh?" You ask turning to him.

>"Mhmm. There's this new museum in lower city, see?"

>You nod.

>"Well, they opened an exhibit about us." He says as he slides his head.

>You try to wrap your head around that.

>"Just us?"

>"Yep."

>"The two of us?"

>"A-huh."

>What the-

>"Did they just steal stuff from the apartment?" You ask.

>Anon laughs. "I dunno, wanna find out?"

>Shit kid.

>Of course you wanted to find out.

 

>The two of your made your way to the museum as soon as you landed.

>A quick elevator ride down to the part of the city in the valley below put you right in front of the museum.

>Turns out that subjects of museum exhibits get in free.

>Walking into the hall they had you located in was like walking back in time.

>"By the Emperor..."

>They had them all in a case the size of the royal dining table.

>Ever last one of your little models, each expertly posed inside and all trying to kill each other.

>Lotus had said there wouldn't be enough room for them once you had moved to Canterlot.

>So it was with a heavy heart that you locked your little voyeur gallery away in a trunk and kept them at the apartment.

>Seeing them here again was like a dream come true.

>Most of them were you standerd: Yellow and angry. But you could see a few of the alternate schemes you had come up with.

>The royal blues.

>The blood reds.

>You even saw a few with grey and yellow in there.

>"Projected account of ancient Earth warfare." You heard Anon say next to you.

>What?

>"They think this is what they thought war was like on Earth?"

>Anon shakes his head. "Seems that way."

>That...

>That was fucking awesome.

 

>The two of you continued to inspect the gallery.

>They had collected a few of your super old movies and thrown them onto a T.V.

>That still didn't excuse them picking The Room, however.

>Even two thousand years later, Tommy Wiseau is annoying.

>"Like a fucking time capsule..." Anon said.

>"Got that right..."

>You glanced over at him.

>"Better then a night with the moon Princess?"

>Anon stumbled and blushed. "Uh...you know about her, huh?"

>Oh please.

>He had known you knew that he was seeing someone, apparently he doesn't know how obvious the two could be together.

>"It's been over a thousand years since you two started this little whatever of yours dude."

>Anon rubbed the back of his head.

>"I know you kept it a secret, but come on. I'm me. I knew before you went off to play explorer."

>You walk to the next exhibit to give him a break.

>He had probably been trying real hard to keep that a secret.

>Hell, it's not his fault you knew him fo-

>...

>No.

>No no.

>No no no.

>Not you.

>Not again.

>Not here.

>Not now.

>Anon walked up to your frozen ass in the middle of the floor. "Dude, what is it?"

>What is it?

>Just the return of your most hated foe.

>THAT.

>MOTHERFUCKING.

>DIDGERIDOO.

>IT'S HAUNTED.

IT HAS TO BE HAUNTED.

>ONLY IN DEATH WILL WE KNOW PEACE.

>You grab the nearest museum worker.

>"HOW MUCH FOR THAT."

>"U-uh...well, sir. I uh..." He stammers as he tries to get his bearings.

>"Uh...letmegoaskthecurator!"

>Anon puts a hand on your shoulder. "Dude, what are you doing?"

>SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE LONG AGO.

 

>The two of you stand in the park after midnight.

>Burning wood fills your ears and noses.

>The silence of the park is split by the last pathetic whine of The Accursed One as the flame consumes in.

>You dump a bucket of water from the lake on the blaze, condemning It to ash.

>"It is done."

>Anon just watches you as he had done since you bought the damn thing.

>Most people don't spend a years' salary on something they intend to burn.

>"Well, that was...dramatic. Are you feeling better?"

>You breathe in the air, laced with a trace of the smell of burning wood.

>"Yes..."

>Anon looks down at the pit of ash. "Makes you yearn, ya know?"

>"Hmm?"

>"All of this. The museum, your...little friend here."

Fuck you.

>"Makes you yearn for the old days, you know? Back when it was just you me and Rainbow, trying to do some stupid thing in the middle of P0nyville."

>You looked up at the city you had been protecting for the past two millennia.

>"Things definitely took an unanticipated swerve..."

>Anon nods with you. "Wanna re-live some of it?"

>You look down and meet his eyes.

>"...Movie night?"

>Anon grows a wide smile. "I've got Star Wars."

>"I got beer."

>Anon chuckles and heads for the park entrance. "Come on, we need to hurry if we're getting through all three."

>You laugh as you run to catch up with him.

>Same shit, different night.