Midnight Oil Chapter One

>Day ShadowButt in Equestria.

>Yadda yadda, you arrived in this magical horse land blah blah blah.

>You weren't really interested in the whole love and tolerance thing going on.

>In order to survive this harsh technicolour quadrupedal landscape, you found yourself indentured to the local Librarian/Princesses suck up Twoplot Spankle.

>Long story shot?

>Go to this place where she and her friends zapped some super Tulpa with magical jesus beams or some shit and grab some kinda stained glass picture.

>You were only half listening, but you needed the dosh to survive.

>Venturing out into the forest like the god damn badass you are, you come across the ruins.

>Oooooo, so spooky, some haunted castle or some shit.

>Big whoop.

>You'd seen better on the late night flicks back home.

>Heading inside, you take a look around.

>Jesus tits this place looked terrible.

>It's like the god damn Hulk and Thor decided to toss around a midget made of adamantium for a while.

>In the back of the blown out castle, you find what you came looking for.

>A large stained glass picture, depicting some winged unicorn with a moon on her ass.

>implying moons are cool

>Carefully grabbing the glass portrait with the special tarp and buggy you totally brought with you, you secure the precious yet tacky treasure.

 

 

>Carting the picture towards the exit, you begin to feel a nagging sensation on the top of your head.

>You know that feeling when you get a sudden itch somewhere?

>Kinda like that.

>It seems like something is trying to get a hold of you, something trying to contact you from beyond the grave.

>Could it be some kinda ghost of an ancient wizard long passed, seeking revenge?

>Patting the back of your head, you feel something kinda soft.

>And no, it's not your hair.

>Grabbing onto whatever the hell it is, you hear a small squeak.

>"YOU WILL RELEASE US RIGHT NOW MONKEY."

>Pulling your hand back in front of your face, you see in your hand, a very tiny pony.

>It's kinda like the one in the picture, but itty bitty.

"Sup Short Stack?"

 

 

>She sneers at you.

>"You will address us as Nightmare Moon creature! We demand the pr-"

>Yeah, this thing talks too much.

>Maybe the purple Dork can help you figure out what it is.

>Get you a little more spending money.

>With the grace of a Gymnast, you stuff the small horse into your jacket pocket.

>Why do you have a jacket pocket?

>Because it's fall, that's why.

>"YOU WILL RELEA-"

>"This is quite comfy. We will let you carry us mortal. Take us to the one known as Twilight Sparkle! We wish to exact our revenge!"

"Not on your life ShadowAss. This picture is my ticket to groceries for a week."

>She kicks in your pocket, evidently unable to free herself.

>"What if we were to promise you whatever you wanted if you helped us with our revenge?"

"Why are you speaking in the third person? It's seriously annoying."

>You push her tiny head down into your pocket, and continue walking towards town.

 

 

>As you continue walking, the mini horse continues to kick against your jacket, trying to free herself.

"Will you knock it off?" you finally saying, patting the pocket.

>"WE ARE THE NIGHT ETERNAL." she yells in her tiny squeaky voice.

"Yeah, and I'm Gary Busey." you snark back.

>Aint no little horse gonna get the best of you.

>In all your time here so far, you've been generally put off by the amount of sunshine and smiles and happiness around.

>It seemed too...

>God, you cant even put your finger on it.

>"We sense the distrust of us in your mind creature. You feel separated from the rest of the ponies, an alien in a more alien world."

"No, I just got indigestion from your incessant banter."

>"Lie to us all you want creature, we can see it in your face."

>Sure enough, the little thing was staring at you from your pocket.

>She had on that itty bitty helmet, and other armor.

>She was really similar to the one in the portrait too.

>Huh.

>Maybe there was something to her after all.

"So what was it you said about a boat?"

>She perks up.

>"Our BOON mortal. For aiding us in exacting our revenge."

 

 

"A boon eh?"

>You tap your chin in a manner to indicate you are thinking.

>And think you do.

>Sure, most of the inhabitants of this fair town were...

>Well, this place wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

>You were an outsider, that was plain and simple, easy to see.

>They didn’t actively hate you, no.

>But were some of them passive aggressive?

>Totally.

>Just the other day, you got shafted on the price of a bunch of squashes.

>Five of those coins just for three?

>That was practically highway robbery.

>"That IS quite a bit. Even royalty knows that." the little pipsqueak chimes in.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA," you exclaim "You can read my mind?"

>"Well there is not really much to read. but yes, and we implore you to reconsider your idea."

"The one about stuffing you in a jar with airholes, and mailing you off?"

>"No, the one about sleeping naked tonight. We do not wish to see that."

 

 

"Fuck you. Anon sleeps how he pleases."

>"HOW DARE YOU INSU-"

>You pat the pocket again.

"And can you please not be so god damn loud? It's like an air horn of bees every time you open that gob of yours."

>She harrumphs, and makes a scrunchy face at you.

>Finally arriving at the Purple Smart's Tree-thing, you knock on the door.

>You other servant, the ONLY guy here you could stand, answers the door.

"Spike my mugga, is Twoplot around?"

>"She's upstairs, let me go get her Anon."

>He starts scrambling up the stairs, on those tiny little legs of his.

>God life sucked for him.

>Lusting after that white one.

>God damn that boy had a thing for a fat booty.

>"Is it really that large?"

"You have no idea. But it barely rivals your own. It's like a small planetoid. Now keep quiet, or I'll turn you into the Purple Gestapo." you say, pushing her head back down."

>And not a moment later. Twilight trots down the stairs.

>"Anonymous! You brought the Portrait I needed?"

 

 

"Yeah yeah, it's right here."

>You unfurl the tarp over the stain glass window.

>Thankfully it's unharmed, albeit, it still looks aged.

>Taking a glance at what's depicted, the pony in the glass looks remarkably similar to the one in your jacket pocket.

>Have you discovered some kind ancient secret?

>You are saying it's ancient ponies...

>"But yes Anonymous, we are an ancient pony." You hear in your head.

>Proceeding to react like any sane human would, you shake your head wildly.

>"Anonymous?" Twilight asks, tilting her head, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, m'fine. Just had an eye floater."

>"A what now?"

"Eye floater. Dirt in your eye that messes with your vision?"

"Oh. Like I was saying, here is your payment for recovering the Glass!"

>Twilight levitates over a small bag of Bits.

"Aww yus. Thanks Twinkle Sprinkle. If you get any more work (Which she totally will because you are basically her go to hired muscle), give me a shout."

>"It's TWILIGHT SPARKLE." she says with an exasperated sigh. "And yes, I will be sure to do that. Now go on, Spike and I need to re shelve the library."

>You look around.

>The Library is immaculate.

>This one has serious issues with cleanliness.

>Saying your goodbye's, and waving to your dragon bro, you head towards your ramshackle house just on the outskirts of town.

 

 

>The tiny Moon-Mare pokes her head back up again.

>"So. You are friends with the purple one?"

>You can help but laugh.

"Friends? Hell no. She's way WAY too OCD for me. I just go to her when I need work. Gotta eat right?

>"We have not eaten in a very long time."

>You look down at the tiny thing.

"What?"

>"When we failed in our goal, and attacked by Twilight Sparkle and her allies, we were severed from our counterpart. Before that, we were imprisoned for a thousand years on the moon."

>You continue walking towards your cottage.

"Harsh. So, like, what exactly are you then?"

>"We are not exactly sure."

>Looking down with a puzzled expression, she meets you with one of her own.

"You don't know?"

>"No, after the incident, and we became separated from, well, ourselves, we weren't sure..."

>You don't really respond, and continue walking.

>Thinking about it, that's pretty harsh.

>You never really paid any attention to the shit the Purple One said, so you don’t know the exact history.

>Arriving at your small cottage, you open the door with your key, ducking in under the low door.

 

 

>Stepping into the cottage living room, you kick off your shoes.

>"We suppose this is your domicile?"

"Yup. My own little slice of heaven in this technicolour hell."

>There's even a tiny little sign by the door that says Bless this Mess.

>"It will do for now, until we can arrange for better living arrangements."

>Lifting the tiny mare onto your hand from your jacket, you look at her.

"And what makes you think I'm letting you stay with me?"

>She snickers.

>"Because Anonymous, we can hear your thoughts. You're going no where fast. You want change. Most of all, you want to go home."

>You expression changes from annoyance to intrigue.

"Go on..."

>"We can provide that for you. If you aid us in exacting our revenge, we shall assist in returning you to where you came from."

>Pausing, you run your other hand through your hair.

"Hmm..."

>She lies down on your hand, her armor disappearing.

"I'll have to think about it..." you say, rubbing your neck, headed towards your bedroom.

>"Very well. We have waited for one thousand years, another night will not be too much to ask."

 

 

>Opening your bedroom door, you place the tiny Moon down on the nightstand.

"I'm, uhh, I'm gonna hit the hay. It's late."

>"But it is barely Midnight!"

"Yeah, and I'm tired."

>You put a pillow on the nightstand for her.

"You can sleep there."

>You begin stripping down, to put on your boxers.

>"UGH. Can you NOT do that here?" she says, burying her face into the pillow.

"HEY. You want to get your revenge and have somewhere to stay? I highly suggest you cope with the circumstances."

>Finally in your skivvies, you hope into bed, shutting off the light.

>The miniature pony's mane glows with a purple light in the darkness.

"Can you shut that off?"

>"No. We suggest you cope withe circumstances." she says, curling up into the pillow.

>Sighing, you eventually drift off to sleep.

>This is not going to end well.