Title:           Freddy Fazbear's Museum - Night at the Museum
Author:          Mad_Sandwich
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/c5GuRsDn
First Edit:      Tuesday 28th of April 2015 11:29:28 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 29th of June 2015 03:43:36 PM CDT

>Your first mistake was bringing a box of candy to work.
>A box of candy shaped like a treasure chest.
>Your second mistake was turning your back for a second.
>"YAR!"
>Gone. Stolen by Foxy and squirreled off to some dark corner of the museum.
>Hesitantly, and hungrily, you grabbed a flashlight and took off, searching for your lost candy.
>The museum was creepy as hell in the dark.
>You waved the flashlight beam over a display case filled with old animatronic heads in various states of damage.
"Fucking hell.. These cases are filled to the brim with nightmare fuel.. Fuck you, boss."
>"Guard-kun, you can fill me to the brim if you want..."
>Chica suddenly appears from behind a nearby case, leaving a wet trail on the floor from her permanently-leaking crotch.
"You really should get that checked out, you know?"
>"You offering?"
"Just shut up."
>You continued your search, Chica close behind, trying to sneak her arms around to the front of your pants every few minutes.
"Quit it."
>"Aww..."
"That reminds me, you seen Foxy anywhere?"
>The yellow robot puts a hand to her chin, thinking for a moment.
>"I might know... but,-"
"But, what?"
>"You'd have to, ya know.. Plug this leak for me."
>Damn it, Chica.
"I'll pass. Last time I did that, you ruined a pair of perfectly good pants. That lube is a nightmare to get out in the wash."
>"Dangit."
>You head into the gallery section, past the old posters and damaged kid's drawings, Chica following you behind.
>You could almost hear the Scooby Doo music. Heh.
"Okay, gang, let's split up."
>"Ooh! I'll go with you, Guard! That's how it happens in the cartoon, right?"
"...How the fuck did you know?"
>"Duh? I used to work with kids?"
"That's a frightening thought.."
>Speaking of frightening, you're in the Pirate Cove section.
>Bad ideas aside, hanging a giant fucking dead plastic kid from the ceiling, complete with missing chunk of head, is really tasteless.
"FOXY? WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CANDY SWIPING FUCK!"
>No reply, just your own voice echoing off into the distance.
"Where the fuck are you, you pirate son of a bitch..."
>"Ooh! Guard, guard!"
>You rush over to the excited robot.
"What? Did you find him?"
>"No! I found a boat! I always wanted to get screwed at sea!"
>She grins, laying back in the plastic boat and spreading her legs wide.
>You can see everything. EVERYTHING.
"Nah, fuck this."
>You throw the flashlight across the room and head back to the office.
>Fuck the candy, and fuck this museum.
>To your surprise, the candy is spread across the desk, along with a note.
>"YER TREASURE BE SHIT -CAPTAIN FOXY."
>You lean out the door and yell-
"ASSHOLE!"
>Man, fuck this shit.
>After munching some candy, you pull your hat down and go to sleep in your chair.
>Wake up several hours later.
>Pants completely soaked, zipper open.
>Love note on table.
>Thanks, obama.