Title:           Freddy Fazbear's Museum - Foil-wrapped Terror
Author:          Mad_Sandwich
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/NYNFGwzr
First Edit:      Friday 8th of May 2015 04:02:46 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 29th of June 2015 03:44:24 PM CDT

>Filling out HR form in office with Chica leaning over shoulder.
"Reason for complaint..."
>Reason; Boss is a dick, also a mad scientist hellbent on ruining my nights.
"Perfect."
>"...What's does 'HR' mean?"
"Horny Robots."
>Doesn't even question it, just nods.
>*CLANG*
>What?
>*CLANG CLANG*
>No.
>*CLANG CLANG CLANG*
>Not him. Not FRED PRIME.
>You flip the fuck out of your seat and hide behind Chica.
>At least the premise of being lube splattered might save you for a few seconds.
>*CLANG CLANG-
>"I AM THE EASTER BUNNY-"
>Oh tapdancing christ on a christmas cracker. The bastards are multiplying.
>Like FRED PRIME himself, the abomination leaning into the office was a bastardization of the normal animatronics.
>As normal as swearing, sex crazed animal bots can be, anyways.
>A pair of red dot eyes glittered out from the dark voids of the monster's eye sockets.
>The huge clawed hands clamped on either side of the door frame were gouging into the concrete.
>A massive mouthful of razor sharp teeth opened slowly, guttural voice emanating from the spiky maw.
>"GUARD. IT IS EASTER. HAPPY EASTER."
>One; no it fucking isn't, and Two; no, please god.
>A basket of multicolored foil-wrapped chocolate eggs are brandished in your face.
>"ONE EACH. ONE."
>Nervously take one. Chica does the same.
>"Thanks!"
>"MY TURN."
>The Easter Horror snatches a large handful of the eggs from the basket, sharp fingers impaling most of them.
>Raises them up towards it's mouth.
>It's bottom jaw unhinges, like some horrifying deep sea creature, eggs disappearing into it's maw.
>"YUM. YUM. NIGHT, GUARD."
>Then it's gone, hopping loudly into the night, presumably to collect more children's souls.
>"You gonna eat that?"
>Wordlessly hand the egg to Chica, who starts munching away.
>Look at HR form.
>Grab pencil.
>Reason; B?o?s?s? ?i?s? ?a? ?d?i?c?k?,? ?a?l?s?o? ?a? ?m?a?d? ?s?c?i?e?n?t?i?s?t? ?h?e?l?l?b?e?n?t? ?o?n? ?r?u?i?n?i?n?g? ?m?y? ?n?i?g?h?t?s?.? Fuck my life.