Anon in Equestria Chapter 3

"So doc, if you don't mind me asking how were you able to remove the straps, move papers, and other things without actually touching them?"

>"Magic."

"No seriously, how?"

>"... Magic, I'm a unicorn, magic."

"Wait a second, so in this world, things can use magic?"

>"Well, not everything, unicorns and alicorns can, ho-"

"What the heck is an *alicorn*?"

>"Notice how the princess has wings and a horn?  That's an alicorn.  Most of the time they're extremely powerful magical beings, as an example, Princess Celestia controls the sun."

"No shit?  Well I guess that would explain the sun on her ass."

>"Excuse me, please stop from using terms like that to describe the princess, and if you must, it's *flank*."

"Er, alright.  Anyway, do you think I could learn magic?"

>"I would have no idea about that, it's something that you have to be bo-"

"Could you teach me?"

>"Look, even if you could use magic, I don't think I could teach you."

"Damn... well anyway doc, what exact tests do you want to run on me?"

>The doctor pulls a clipboard and quill in front of him, and starts jotting down a few things."

>"Well first, I should ask, what exactly can you eat?"

"Uh... well, um.... grains, berries, nuts, vegetables, fruit, *cough*meat*cough*, and uh sugar, but no plants like grass, flowers, and the like."

>"Alright, sorry I didn't catch that one before sweets."

"Yeah it's uh, *cough*meat*cough*"

>"One more time...."

"It um... meat...."

>The doctor looks you in the eye.

>"And just what do you mean?"

"Well you know, um... fish... and any other uh non intelligent incapable of speech creatures."

>"Is it necessary for you to eat meat?"

"Well, I guess not, however it's difficult for me to get all my vitamins and such unless I do."

>"Understood, we'll try to get some fish for you, along with some other things to eat."

>After a while of laying there in the bed with nothing to do you realize just how hungry you actually are.

>However before too long the doctor comes in with a bunch of fruits, vegetables, and a few still wiggling fish.

>With a proud smile he lays the slowly dying fish in front of you.

>You look down at the fish and trying your best to not seem ungrateful you take a bite out of it, still wiggling... still covered in scales.

>"Well, enjoy Sir, we'll be back for you in the morning."

"Er, y-yes, thank you very much!  I um, yes, I will see you in the morning."

>You look down at the fish and pray that you'll remember next time to be more specific about how you eat things.