Rappa in Equestria -OS

[spoiler] Made this for shits and giggles, still pumped over Life Is Good. [/spoiler]

> Day 325 in Equestia

> Be Ghetto Anon

> Spend majority of life on the cold unforgiving streets of New York City's slums.

> After become familiar with Equestrian customs, you decide to introduce some of you "human traditions".

> It takes a while, but you've brought much of your old traditions to Equestria.

> yfw everyp0ny is now walking around in pants

> Rap battles are now a common past time in Equestria

> Although, here it's called aggresive poetry and isn't as aggresive as the shit back home.

> Regardless, it's the same idea.

> Today is the first annual "Aggresive Poetry Slam" being held at the Canterlot Castle

> You remember the gleam in the Princess' eyes when you pushed this as a friendship activity back at home

> Celestia couldn't be happier

> Everypony in Equestria is here to watch the spectacle.

> 1st Place in the Slam would earn the 'poet' over 2000 Bits.

> Of course being the jack ass, smart ass, thug ass, [spoiler] broke ass[/spoiler] nigga you were, you entered.

> The day played by uneventfully.

> Most of the competition spoke about friendship and love in a simple ABAB rhyme scheme.

> Some ponies went in an even simpler AA rhyme scheme, compensating by reciting in double time.

>[spoiler]Weak.[/spoiler]

 

> You had an ace up your sleeve though.

> Back in your days in da hood, your homies would always blast the dopest tracks from their Hondas.

> Luckily for you, they always had the volume on full blast and the windows down.

> Always.

> As a result, the lyrics are forever engraved in your mind.

> Good thing the ponies didn't know. huehuehue

> One by one, you defeated your foes.

> You advanced through the tourney with ease.

> And even though you went easy on them, they still managed to lose each battle.

> The crowd was crazy, demanding more fresh rhymes and dope tracks.

 

>Before you know it, you've made it to the finals

> You await patiently on the stage, awaiting your final opponent.

> Much to your surprise, Celestia herself appears on stage.

> Strange, you don't remember seeing her name on the registration list.

> Oh shit.

> RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.RIGGED.

> "Oh Anonymous! This is so much fun! Are you having fun?"

> Before you have a chance to respond, the MC takes the stage.

> "FILLIES AND GEENTLECOLTS. ARE YOU REAADY FOR THE FINNAAL SLAAAM?"

> The crowd roars in response.

> You nod at Vynil Scratch behind the turntables

> She plays some heavy beats.

> A consistant drum line is the back bone for this beat.

> Interestingly enough, she manage to sample one of Octavia's sonatas.

> The track is fresh.

> You get into it.

> Grasping the mic you get ready to grace the world with your fresh beats.

> Suddenly you feel the mic ripped from your grasp.

> "Ah ah ah! Ladies first Anonymous."

> Various "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!"s are heared from the crowd.

> Oh.

> No.

> She.

> Fucking.

> Didn't.

> You blood begins to boil.

> You only watch in disgust as Celestia begins her 'poem'

>"OH. My name is Celestia!"

>"Your fabolous Princess!"

>"And I'm here to tell ya!"

>"About the wonders of Friendshiiip!"

>"It's just the best!"

 

> You just can't believe it.

> She was worse than every competitor in the slam!

> This shit was rigged.

> [spoiler] She wasn't even on the beat! [/spoiler]

> As cringeworthy as it is, Celestia finishes her poem.

> The crowd fucking goes wild.

> Fucken really?

> "Haha! Try to beat that Anonymous!"

"I'll try Princess."

 

> "ANONYMOUS ARE YOU REAAADY?" The MC's voice was booming through the monitors.

> You nod a simple yes.

> Looking at Vinyl, you make a little circle in the air with your finger, signaling her to replay the track.

> "Oooh! Anonymous! What is going to be the topic of your poem? Is it about friendship?!"

> Fucking Celestia.

> You think about it for a bit before coming to a conclusion.

> You put on this biggest shit eating grin as you decided on which 'poem' you'd be reciting.

"This next one will be about my old life on Earth."

> "Oh wonderful!"

> Celestia just watches you in awe, awaiting to hear about your life on earth.

> You get back into the song.

> Your very existance right now is nothing more than an extension of this phat beat.

> You fade back into your old days in da hood.

> Oh look. It's raining.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKjj4hk0pV4

 

> You start reciting the song without flaw.

> As you recite, the crowd goes into complete silence.

> You remember the look of abject horror when you recited this verse.

Pick the Mac up, told brothers, "Back up," the Mac spit Lead was hittin' niggaz one ran, I made him backflip Heard a few chicks scream my arm shook, couldn't look Gave another squeeze heard it click yo, my shit is stuck Try to cock it, it wouldn't shoot now I'm in danger Finally pulled it back and saw three bullets caught up in the chamber So now I'm jettin' to the building lobby And it was filled with children probably couldn't see as high as I be!

> You finish the song.

> You drop the mic and walk off the stage.

> The crowd goes wild.

> The MC takes the stage once more.

> "AANNNNNND THE WIINEEEEER IS ANOOOOOOONYMOOUSSSSSSSSS"

>  [spoiler] Over the roar of the crowd and the MC's voice, you can just barely make out the sound of Celestia sobbing on stage. [/spoiler]

> Her tears were delicous.

 

> All in all, today was average.