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Segways

By: MDL on Jul 23rd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 0.91 KB  |  hits: 29  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You are Anon.
  2. >And you're very rich.
  3. >You wake up and toss of your baby seal covers.
  4. >You ride your Segway to the bathroom, because "walking's for the poor".
  5. >You Shit in your solid gold toilet, shower in the tears of poor orphans, and shave with a Gillette Platinum Series blade.
  6. >Yeah, you're the real fucking deal.
  7. >You Segway to the elevator and go downstairs for breakfast.
  8. >You have no servants because then you'd have to pay them. And you're not giving others your money.
  9. >You're in the middle of eating your usual caviar, when there's a knock at the door.
  10. >You segway over and answer it.
  11. "Why hellllooooo Fluttershy."
  12. >You adjusting your top hat, monocle, and mustache.
  13. >"Hello sweetie. Is money your fetish?"
  14. >She's wearing a dress made of bits and gems.
  15. >You snort at her.
  16. "Hardly."
  17. >You close the door.
  18. "She must never know Segways are my fetish."
  19. >You spend the rest of the day.
  20. >Fucking a Segway
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