Title:           Rainbow's Attempt at Sex
Author:          MDL
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/zB5FdqHW
First Edit:      Monday 2nd of June 2014 10:47:52 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 2nd of June 2014 10:47:52 PM CDT

"So the reason for me and Anon breaking up was that he couldn't handle me becoming more awesome by being a wonderbolt."
>Your friends console you.
>"Dash I'm so sorry to hear that." Twilight would say.
"Eh, it's whatever. He took it well."
>"Are you sure your alright? Dating Anon must be pretty interesting." Fluttershy says while sipping on her tea.
"What do you mean?"
>All eyes are on Fluttershy.
>"W-well, he i-is from a different planet and isn't even the same species."
"What exactly are you getting at?"
>Fluttershy is met with a deep red across her face.
>"W-well, I've been wondering. What's the sex like?"
>The other mares around you blush and snicker.
>You always got nervous when they started talking about sex.
>Truth be told, you've never had it.
>It's not that you don't want to. It's just no one is as awesome as you, so you don't feel they're worthy.
>"What about it Rainbow? Do you have any raunchy stories of you and Anon to share with us?" Rarity asks.
>'Oh no.'
"Uhhh...of course!"
>"Oh please do tell."
>'SHIT!'
"Well... it's pretty crazy stuff."
>They lean in closer.
"Like that one time we uhhh weeee."
>Look around the room for any type of help.
>You spot a flower in a pot resting on the counter of the register.
"Like this on time Anon dressed up as a flower and berried his lower half and said 'The only way for my to fully grow is to shower me with your juices.'"
>'Nailed it.'
>The other mares look at you as if you'd just hit a child.
>"Ahem well... do ya have any other stories?" AppleJack asks, breaking the awkward silence.
>'Fuck! They want more?'
"S-sure!"
"This one time he was uhhhh.... mowing the lawn and he had a riding mower, right?"
>All the girls nod whilst giving you quizzical stares.  
"S-so he had my sit on his u-um penis while the mower vibrated and it was uhhh 20% uhhh more cumirific and stuff..."
>"Thats...."
>Your blood freezes, they know you're lying.
>"That's actually pretty hot." Pinkie says.
>Give a sigh of relief.
>"Any other stories?"
>'They want more?'
>Whatever you're getting good at this.
"This one time, Anon put an orange between my ass cheeks and squeezed them together to make orange juice... and then he drank it."
>The red hue returns to the faces of your friends.
>"O-oh my. Was his u-umm down there big?" Fluttershy mutters
"Pshh oh yeah it was like super big and would get as hard as like a uhhh penis does when it's having sex..."
>Fluttershy then looks down and begins to snicker, along with the rest of the mares.
"W-what's so funny?"
>"Rainbow, are you telling the truth?" Twilight asks.
"Y-yeah!"
>"Dashie it's okay if you're a virgin. We won't see you any differently."
"I just told you all the things me and Anon did."
>"Yeah, but they were so ridiculous." Rarity chimes in.
>"Ah mean c'mon, uh flower pftttt." AppleJack says while her sides enter orbit at the end.
>The other mares join in.
>'They're laughing at you!'
>Look around the table to see your friends in tears from laughing so hard at your ridiculous stories.
>You hate this.
"I'LL SHOW YOU!" You yell as you fly away from the table.
"I'll just go to Anon's and fuck him. Then they won't laugh at me!"
>Speed your way to Anon's house.
>Take no time to knock and burst down the human's door.
>He stands there, looking disappointed at the scene he's witnessed.
>"Damn it. I just got that door too."
"ANON!"
>Tackle him to the ground.
>"Ugh, what is it Dash?"
"I need you to fuck me."
>There's a moment of silence.
>"U WOT M8"
"I told the girls that we used to date and all the crazy sex we had so they wouldn't find out I'm a virgin."
>"You're a virgin?"
"That's not important. What is important is that you need to put this flower suit on and bury half your body so I can shower you in my love juice for you to grow!"
>"And that's where we stop for today."
>He pushes you off him.
"Anon please, I need this!"
>"I don't do ponies rainbow. Kinda my motto, it says it on the door you just fucked up."
>Look down to the door.
>It reads; 'Welcome to Anon's house, I don't "do" ponies.'
"Can't you make an exception Anon? I can't face my friends like this."
>"Dash I'm sure your friends don't care if you're a virgin."
"They laughed at me."
>"Why didn't you just lie?"
"I tried!"
>Tell Anon every story you told your friends.
>He sits on a stool taking it all in.
"And that's what I told them." You finish.
>"Mhmmm, yep you're retarded."
>He gets up to walk away.
>Block his path.
"PLEASE!"
>"No, get outta my way!"
>The human easily pushes you out of the way.
>Once more you tackle him.
>"RAINBOW GET OFF M-."
>Cut him off with a kiss.
>At first he fights it, but slowly he relaxes and let's you kiss him.
>Break the kiss.
"Now..."
>Pull out an orange.
"Put this between my ass cheeks and get your video camera. I have something to prove."
>2 hours later.
>You and Anon sit on the riding mower.
>Hold up the camera.
"Time to name this bad boy."
>After 30 minutes of brainstorming you now have the finished product.
>'The World's Best Lover, Rainbow Dash and Anon's Super Sexy Sex Tape™.'
>Wait til your friends watch this.
__________________________________
>3 hours later, at Twilight's house.
__________________________________
>You and the other girls watch the video.
>"Oh Rainbow, shower me with more of your love water so I can grow and fuck you with my bottom half." Anon says as a potted lilac, clearly reciting lines, horribly.
"Okay Anon, here you go!"
>Shower him in a bottle with the word water crossed out and replaced with 'Love Juice'.
>Anon escapes from the dirt.
>"No we can h-have sux?"
"It says sex idiot!"
>"Well your damn 3rd grade writing abilities make it look like sux."
"Whatever, just keep going."
>Anon pick up Dash and starts to poke her butt.
"Oh ah ohh that feels oh sooo good." You exaggerate the lines.
>Anon stops 20 seconds in.
>"Man that was good lovin'."
"Yep, you betch ya!"
>Bro-hoof Anon.
>The credits roll.
>They're not really credit, they're just you flipping pieces of paper saying who was involved.
>Only you were listed in the credits, not even Anon.
>Turn off the video and give your friends a shit eating grin.
"So what'd ya think. Pretty sexy, huh?"
>Your friends hold back their laughter.
>"Rainbow, do you know what sex is?" Twilight asks through snorts of laughter.
>Cross your hooves and bring out your knowledge face.
"Yep. It's how babies are made."
>Fucking boom.
>"And how are babies made?"
"Your lover pokes your butt for a minute and that's a signal for the stork to bring you a baby."
>Your friends burst out in laughter.
"W-what?"
>"That's not it you fucking idiot." Fluttershy says while hollering in laughter.
>The group stops laughing and turns to Fluttershy.
>"Jeez Fluttershy calm down." Pinkie says.
"Yeah, have you even had sex?"
>Fluttershy grows a large grin.
>Slowly, she floats over to the DVD player and puts in a disc, never breaking eye contact from the other mares.
>Watch in horror as a tied up Anon begs Fluttershy to let him go.
>At the end of the movie, the title appears:
>'Fucking Fluttershy.'