Title:           Murica
Author:          MDL
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/KnGtu0Nb
First Edit:      Thursday 22nd of August 2013 08:38:51 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 22nd of August 2013 08:38:51 PM CDT

>Day 'Murica in Equestria.
>Wake up to Free Bird playing on your radio.
>Turn it off and scratch the Semper Fi tattoo on your left arm.
>Walk over to the bathroom sink and turn on the faucet.
>No water comes out.
"Damn it."
>Sluggishly walk back to your night stand.
>Open it up to grab some duct-tape, WD40, and a wrench.
>Sluggishly walk back to the sink.
>Start beating the shit out of it with the wrench.
>Slap on some duct-tape and slip in some WD40.
>Stand back and marvel at your master piece.
>Your once plane wooden sink is now made of marble.
>The plastic nobs are now solid gold.
>Sigh heavily.
"It's not the best fix, but it'll do."
>Go through your morning routine.
>Quickly get dressed and head downstairs.
>Grab your breakfast of champions.
>Slimjims and Bud-light.
>Tap your 2008 Blue Collar Comedy Tour poster for good luck and head out the door.
>Hop in your 1965 Chevy Truck your Pappy left you.
>It's a cherry red beauty you named "The Fuck Truck" for reasons that only you know.
>The Truck was teleported here along with the poster.
>Before you start your engine, the Yellow pony comes walking up to your truck door.
"Whadda ya want, Fluttershy? I gotta git ta work."
>"I wuz wonderin' if you had any more Bud-light?"
"You wha-?"
>Turn to see that shes wearing a Daisy Duke out fit, cut-off jeans and all.
>Take off your cowboy hat and place in near your heart.
"My oh my, looky what we got here."
>"Like somethin' ya see."
>She gives you the bedroom eyes.
"I sure do!"
>"Well why don't yew come and git it."
"Yes ma'ma"
>Hop out of your truck and walk up to her.
>She has her eyes closed and her lips perked.
>Give her a funny look.
>Take the small American flag that was sticking out of her bum.
>Walk back to The Fuck Truck.
>"You're not gonna rut me?"
"The only thing that gets me hard, is freedom."
>Take the flag in the bed of your truck and begin having sex with it.
>That's right, you're fucking a flag.
>A Bald Eagle lands on a boombox and starts playing "Born in The USA.".
>The Eagle watches the whole time as you begin adding more white stripes to the flag.
>You finish with on last final thrust and collapse.
>Sit in the bed of the truck, with your new found flag/lover.
>Put some dip in your mouth.
"At least I'm not-
Fuckin' mah sister... I mean Fluttershy."
END