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I don't even know (FR)

By: MDL on Mar 6th, 2014  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.43 KB  |  hits: 19  |  expires: Never
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  1. >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw
  2. "Gotta love that song." You say as you turn off your clock radio.
  3. >Go to take a shit and finish it off with shower and a shave.
  4. >But don't shave that sole patch. Bitches love it.
  5. >Hike up your jeans with tears in the knees.
  6. >Through on your red flannel and fingerless gloves.
  7. >Look in the mirror to check out your hot face.
  8. "Totally ready for this gnarly day!"
  9. >You are Anonymous. Anonymous that's mentally trapped in the 1990's.
  10. >As you head downstairs, look at your Cathy Ireland poster.
  11. >Get close to where you're inches away from the goddess's face.
  12. "I'm totally gonna spank my monkey to you later."
  13. >The poster says nothing.
  14. >You hold your finger up to it to shush it anyways.
  15. >Grab a bowl of Count Chocoula.
  16. >There's a ding dong at your door.
  17. "Oh man, I hope it's not the yellow chick. She totally harshes my mellow."
  18. >Open the door and look down to find a skateboard on the ground.
  19. "Radical!"
  20. >A note on the board reads:
  21.         Dear Anon,
  22. I totally hope you find the board radical.
  23.                 -Fluttershy
  24. "Jeez I guess Fluttershy had a change of heart. Better test this baby out."
  25. >Quickly run inside to grab your chain wallet.
  26. "Maybe there'll be stand that sells funyuns."
  27. >Stop to remember the succulent yellow onion flavored chip.
  28. >Fight to hold the tears in.
  29. "I'll never let them see me cry." You say looking to the sky.
  30. >Take a lick of your ringpop™ and continue your journey.
  31. >Ringpops™ are the cats meow.
  32. >Who cares if you cover your hand in your own saliva.
  33. >Arrive at the skate park and see your buddy, Frankie.
  34. "Frankie, bro! How's it hangin'?" You ask while you high-five into a hug.
  35. >"Nothin much bro just watching this chick get some gnarly grindage."
  36. >Look to who he's talking about.
  37. "Is that.... Fluttershy?!"
  38. >She comes to a screeching halt in front of you.
  39. >"Sup?" She says nodding to you.
  40. "Flutters! I didn't know you could shred!"
  41. >She grabs her board.
  42. >"There's a lot of things you don't know. Like I can beat you in a skate competition."
  43. "Woah now Flutters. You're pretty good, but you can't take me."
  44. >"Care to wager?"
  45. "Sure. If I win, you clean my house for a month.
  46. >"And if I win?" She asks crossing her arms.
  47. >You think for a second.
  48. >It hits you.
  49. "I'll do anything you want me to do for a whole week."
  50. >"Anything?"
  51. "Anything."
  52. >Her cheeks burn red at the thought.
  53. >"Deal!" She says reaching out her hoof.
  54. >Shake her hoof, sealing the deal.
  55. >Frankie pulls you aside.
  56. >"Anon, are you sure about this?"
  57. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
  58. >"Well, I've never actually seen you skate, and she's pretty good."
  59. >That's when it hits you.
  60. >You actually have no idea how to properly skate.
  61. >Skating scared you.
  62. >You didn't want boo-boos.
  63. "Fuck."
  64. >"You ready?"
  65. >Turn to Fluttershy, who has a shit-eating grin on her face.
  66. >"I'll go first."
  67. >She skate down the ramp and begins to show you her skills.
  68. >It's like she's a pro.
  69. >Watch in horror as you realize how fucked you are.
  70. >It's like a 12 year old play Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 8™.
  71. >She finishes and lands a little bit away from you.
  72. >"Your turn." She says with a sarcastic tone.
  73. >Look to the board in your hands, then back to Fluttershy.
  74. >'Gotta think of something, dude!'
  75. >Swiftly, like a monkey, you bash Fluttershy over the head with the skateboard.
  76. >She's knocked unconscious.
  77. >People gasp at the sight of blood pooling around her head.
  78. "I WILL NEVER DIE!" You yell trying to skate away.
  79.  >After skating five feet you fall off the board.
  80. "SHIT! I broke my ankle!"
  81. >Get up a try to limp away.
  82. >Your broken ankle gets caught up in a small hole and is torn off.
  83. >Scream in pain as you look down at your new nub dripping with blood.
  84. "FUCK YOU FLLUTTERSHY! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
  85. "FUCKING FLUTTERSHY!"
  86.  
  87. "The end." You say patting your child on the head.
  88. >"Did that actually happen Daddy?"
  89. >You tear off your foot.
  90. "I DON'T KNOW YOU TELL ME!"
  91. >Begin beating your son over the head with you bloody foot you just tore off.
  92.  
  93. >You wake up screaming.
  94. >Your Dad comes bursting through your door.
  95. >"What's wrong son?"
  96. "I had a nightmare Daddy." You choking through sobs
  97. >"What was it about kiddo?" He asks rubbing your back.
  98. "I had a nighmare that you tore your own foot off!"
  99. >"Huh. YOU MEAN LIKE THIS!"
  100. >He grabs his foot and twist it off.
  101. >Look in horror as he dances around the room, like a mad man, with blood spurting everywhere.
  102. >Eventually you calm down as your Dad continues to dance around the room.
  103. "Fucking bad end."
  104. END
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